Things You Wish You'd Said/Done Differently During Recruitment
 

This applies to people on both ends of the recruitment (PNMs and initiated members). What are some things you would change about your recruitment if you could go back? I'll start with a few of my own:

I wish I would've asked the question "what do you look for in a PNM" more often. It might have given me a better idea of where I should focus.

In retrospect, joining the "Rush Fall 09" facebook group of each fraternity I liked may or may not have been a good idea. Jury's still out there.

Mix up discussion topics more. The guys have probably heard a million kids talking about how they want to make a difference in the world. They're college kids, you're a college kid; talk about football or something more casual.

Don't rule out a group just because one group you like doesn't like them. Anyone who rejects you for who your friends are probably isn't worth it.

Try to get to know everyone at least somewhat. Knowing the President on good terms isn't enough to get you in.

And yes some of these are obvious but I'm sure I'm not the only one who's made some mistakes in their recruitment.

Mine would've been to not be as hasty with cuts. If I had read GC before recruitment I'm sure I would've gone in more informed, but I didn't :-) I cut one group (out of 3) after round one due to what could've just been an off night for a couple of women. I wouldn't change where I wound up, and honestly I don't think it would've affected it, but dropping a group after round one really wasn't necessary. I should've stuck it out to round 2 and given them more of a chance.

The only thing I can think of that I could have done differently would to have some interesting stories about myself prepared. Or to have lied a little and faked knowledge about somethings. I relied too much on asking questions and ran into too many dead ends when the rusher started talking about sports or working in fast food or something else I had no way to relate with. Maybe I should have just pretended to know more about stuff.
Really I don't know what I did really wrong in recruitment so I don't know what I would have done differently.

Do not dress up when the chapter dresses up.
Although a brother in the chapter told me I should dress up on that day, I was the only PNM who did and I felt awkward the whole time. I feel like it delayed the receiving of my bid greatly.

Do NOT talk about your terrible drug/drinking habits in high school. Even if it was 11th grade, and you stopped doing that, our principles are not Beer, Weed, and Sex, so don't bring them up.

Ohhhh, then I am so NOT partying with you guys this weekend at homecoming. ;)

As my first recruitment as an active (and a member of our recruitment committee no doubt), I would have not said "Oh hi, I've already met you" to a PNM that I in fact, did not meet already. Oops.

Haha I'm sure that's easy to do. We mentioned that during pre-recruitment workshops and decided it would be better to say something along the lines of "Thanks for coming" instead of "Good to see you again" juuuust in case!

Unfortunately, this was the first day of parties. I never met her, only someone that looked like her and then I just embarrassed myself trying to explain that to her.

Ohhh awkward. Yeah, "I'm glad you came!" :D

Should Have Been More Observant. . .
 

I hated rush as an undergrad! That's why I became a Rho Chi when I was a senior.

Anyway, when I was a rushee, I was focused so much on the physical houses and on the process that it took me until informals to REALLY find out what was important (the girls in the house!). During first set, I kept asking why the girls kept rotating and why some girls were being taken to other locations and why others were staying put. I am a naturally nosey person and I love to learn how things work. I should have been more tactful though . . .

And I should not have been so quick to tell a slightly discriminating colorful story about my dorm room. I lived in a small dorm in the sorority quads. There was an iron burn on the floor of my room. I came to find out later that the burn was caused by the occupants from the prior year. One of the former roomies, who I loved, was the current treasurer of the dorm. She told horror stories about her former roommate and told me about how the burn mark ended up there. I thought the story was hilarious and repeated it time and time again (even during rush).

Well, during rush (we had a formal, deferred rush) I was paired up with a girl who had lived in the same small dorm when she was a freshman. She asked me how I liked it and what room I was in. I preceded to tell the iron burn story and about how the current treasurer, who I love, hated her ex-roomie. Turns out the girl rushing me was the hated ex-roomie. Oops. The house was not a good fit for me anyway but I cannot help think that my little story was one of the primary reasons for me being cut and that I was a tad rude and disrespectful by jumping into that story.


As a rusher, I could have paid better attention to what the rushees were saying. I talked to a girl during first set about Hitchcock movies. I was paired with her again during second set but did not realize I had already met her. Hitchcock came up again but this time I was little less focused and tired, I just started agreeing with everything she was saying to the point where I contradicted myself! She noticed, Oops! And I had to explain to her that I was a mess!



Oh well, it all works in the end.

A bad one from the side of a rusher:

There was one girl I recognized, but couldn't tell from where. I asked her if she was a freshmen, expecting her to respond that she was actually a sophomore, assuming that I'd seen her around campus. Her response? "Of course I'm a freshmen. I was your pre-frosh last year!"

That's right. I'd hosted her (overnight!) the year before...because she was the child of a rich alumni of my greek. And I forgot about it. Oops...

Fortunately, she didn't seem to hold it against the group. But still! REALLY embarrassing.

My first recruitment as an active, I was introducing my PNM to another sister, and I forgot her name. There was an awkward pause, and I had to glance to her nametag. I was absolutely MORTIFIED and felt terrible about it. After that little incident I tried way harder to memorize every PNM's name.

When I participated in "Rush" (as it was called back then), I wish that I had just relaxed and had more fun with it and let my "true self" shine through. For some reason, I was very stressed out and tense & it actually was not a fun experience for me.

I wish I had written down and contacted some of the people who I met the first time I worked Freshmen move-in and Freshmen orientation.

Any time I have ever called a PNM to hang out cold they have almost always agreed to do so.

I wish I had remembered being a Freshman myself and remembered what it was like being in such a foreign place with so few friends. If I had remembered that, I would have definitely contacted a lot of the guys who sadly ended up pledging other Fraternities.