Words of encouragement needed
 

Hi, my daughter is a freshman at Mizzou and going thru rush this week. She has visted all the houses and now has received invitations to come back to up to ten houses. Her top five houses that she listed did not invite her back. She has been invited to five other houses. She is understandably upset and not sure if she wants to continue rush. I told her to go to the five houses and keep an open mind. Did anyone get cut from their top choices but still found a sorriorty that they pledged and afterwards couldn't imagine being anywhere else?

Falling in love with the one that loves you is probably more the "norm" experience than the exception.

She's gots lots of options, and the absolute worst one if she wants to be in a sorority is to drop out.

Can you help her put it in perspective? If there were 10 great guys all standing in a row, and 5 of them didn't ask her out, but 5 of them did, would she give up the chance to date 5 great guys?

In my experience, the chapters they like often change from day to day during rush. Now that her first day favorites are not an option, she can concentrate on the ones who are interested in her.

When my oldest daughter went through rush, her attitude toward a couple houses changed dramatically just because of who she talked to, so I say carry on and see what happens. If you drop out, you already know what happens.

Nothing.

Because of the new release figures method, cuts are harder than they used to be - for this very reason. So the rushees can concentrate on the groups who really want them and not the groups who are so-so on them or stringing them along.

If she doesn't continue, she will most likely regret it...the guy analogy is a good one...I mean I'm sure when a guy didn't like her that she liked she didn't swear off dating.

I agree with both. You daughter needs to respond with maturity and concentrate on the houses that DO want her back. I can't imagine a single house at Mizzou that isn't outstanding in some way.

A smart young lady going through right now just told me that she was not loving someone who rushed her that very day in one house. She said the girl did not express to her the great things about her organization. The smart young lady told me she was keeping the house as it was a strong organization and they had an amazing philanthropy. She did not go just on the girl or on their video production. If she had done so she would not be returning.

My point in telling you this is to let her know there are so many positives to each organization; and one day or a serious of little events that did not go the way she hoped should not ruin possibilities that are out there. She needs to refocus and look at the remaining groups and see their strengths. She needs to finish the week and give them a chance. Then, maybe she will view it differently. If not, she can make her choice then.

I think it's human nature to focus more on the negative than we do on the positive. I know I get into moods like that. What your daughter needs to focus on right now is that there are 5 great organizations that invited her back. I can understand her thinking, but she's not the only person who has ever experienced this, nor will she be the last.

Maybe this will give her the opportunity to connect with new girls at the chapters she gets invited back to today. If she drops out of recruitment, she may never get the chance to be in a sorority.

exactly^^

Words of encouragement needed.
 

Thank you all for your replies. Looking on the bright side she does have five houses that are interested. She is going to visit those houses today, spend a little more time with each group and hopefully she will find a house that she can see calling home.

Sometimes our top choices in life are fleeting. If she continues with recruitment and gets to know the houses that wanted her to come back, she might find that she develops new top choice favorites. As such, if she sticks it out and if she receives a bid to a house, it just might become her top choice favoirte where she couldn't imaging being in any of the other nine houses. It happens all the time. Good luck.

This is going to sound so completely cheesy, and y'all are going to think I'm a cornball, but I'm going to say it anyway.

There's a Garth Brooks song called Unanswered Prayers (lyrics are here) that are somewhat appropriate in this situation. If we don't get the one thing we were hoping/praying for, we are definitely disappointed. But, when we realize what we've gotten instead, it's all good. Essentially, sometimes we hope/pray for one thing, only to get something even better.

Here's to hoping she really enjoys the chapters she visits today.

Thanks Kansas City, that's what I'm hoping for.:)

I concur that she should continue and see what develops. One of my sisters in my alumnae chapter is a graduate of Mizzou and she speaks so highly of the greek system there...it sounds like all of the chapters are great. If she drops out, she knows that she won't get a bid on bid day, but if she continues on, she just might get a bid to a chapter that she finds that she really does love.

Please let us know what happens!

As everyone said, she should continue rush... My best friend and I went through together and she had her heart set on one sorority and very very shortly after that she hated being in that sorority. She told me all the time that she wished she was in my sorority, which she cut. So just remind her that during rush every house puts their best foot forward and once she gets in she may realize that those girls aren't the people she thought they were.

on another tack, she is on campus for recruitment, is prepared for it and what else is she going to do if she drops out or recruitment?

she should continue on. i can't believe that none of her remaining choices won't bowl her over if given the chance.