Married & rushing?
 

Hi! I'm a Junior and married, and I really want to rush this fall. I have talked to my Greek Life office, and they told me at least 3 of the 4 sororities on my campus don't take married members. They didn't tell me which ones, though. Thanks!

A few things...

1.) I don't know that any of the NPC sororities currently have national policies on whether or not married woman can join. I do know, however, that some used to, but that they were done away with years ago.

2.) If the individual chapters on your campus choose not to take married women, I don't know why the Greek life office would know that.

But either way you look at it...

3.) NPC recruitment is supposed to allow you to look at ALL of the sororities on campus. If you make the decision to go through recruitment, it should be because you want to find the best sorority for you, and not to just aim for Alpha Gamma Delta. If you do, you might be disappointed if those girls choose not to give you a bid, and another chapter who loved you and wanted to extend you one, wasn't even given a chance.

4.) The decision to go through recruitment is yours. But if you think by not going through, that you'll regret the decision because you didn't want to pay the application fee, I say just do it. Otherwise, you'll always wonder "what if?"

Just out of curiousity, have you been married for your entire college career? Why didn't you rush before this?

Unless the staff of your Greek life office are members of the chapters, they should NOT be making statements about any chapter's member selection policies.

Please keep your options open while going through recruitment. That being said, as far as I know Alpha Gamma Delta does not have a standing rule against collegians being married, or extending a bid to a married potential new member. Of course, if any of my sisters who have more experience with advisory roles or the Volunteer Service Team know, I defer to them.

Depending on your campus, your Junior class status may hurt you more. I'm assuming since there are only four chapters on your campus that may not be as big a problem as it would at campuses with larger greek systems.

I wouldn't harp on the married thing during recruitment. If it bothers you, I would contact the recruitment chairs of each chapter prior to recruitment. Don't ask during the process - they're trying to get to know YOU, not you and your husband.

Thank you to everyone. I didn't go through recruitment before because I was always afraid to. I was intimidated, but now I feel like if I don't, I will regret it.

My husband supports it 100% as long as it makes me happy.

It is not that I want to join Alpha Gamma Delta, and no one else, it was one that I did a bit of research on already so I just asked about it. I want to give all the sororities a chance, because I don't think it would be fair to judge before meeting them.

The man at the Greek Life office said he did some "research" after I asked him about being married. I should have clarified, he said 3 of the 4 ask current members to take alumnae status if they get married in college. So, he doesn't think they will extend a bid to someone who is already married (which makes sense).

You're right, I won't really mention my husband during recruitment unless of course someone outright asks about my being married.

Also, I'm afraid they will not like my being married or think I'm weird for going through recruitment, but I feel like this is something I will regret if I don't at least give it a shot.

Thanks again to everyone, and if you have anymore suggestions or comments, I would really appreciate them :-).

im going to make an assumption, for my argument - if OP was born in 84 (as her username displays), and is going into junior year, im guessing she didn't start college at 18, but perhaps like 20/21? rush is pretty intimidating at 18, and i can't imagine as a 20/21 year old freshman, going through rush with mostly 18 year old freshmen is a cake walk. but im stating the obvious here.

this may be private info, but is there a reason why married UG members are required to take early alum status? being married doesnt change your student status. does it have more relevance to chapters where all members live in the house (and perhaps, a married member may not live in)?

i understand transfer members taking early alum (if that chapter doesnt accept transfers) because they weren't initiated at that school's chapter, but a married member?

At the University I am attending, the sororities do not have houses, so it's not like it is required that you live there.

I can't imagine being a 25 year old junior and going through rush with 18 year olds and joining a group where the members are 18-22 for the most part. There's a huge difference in station of life between a 25 year old married woman and an 18 year old freshman.

Actually I'm not 25 yet ;)...lol. Anyway, this too is something I was worried about. I don't know if I will have anything in common with 18-22 year olds. Then again, we don't all have to be exactly alike to be friends...

No, however it helps to have something in common, and most 18 year olds don't hang around with married people on a regular basis. I also don't know that as a collegiate I would have been very forgiving of someone who withheld that they were married to get a bid and then threw that information out there after the fact....Oh wait, I dealt with that and my chapter was really pissed at the girl who did that, because she kept it a secret until initiation. We all wondered why she never came to events that weren't required, and why she seemingly had no interest in some of the guys who would hang out.

She also waited until after that to tell us she was prego as well...it was a great situation.:rolleyes:

Do what you want, but realize 18. 19 and 20 year olds aren't always the most open-minded when it comes to things like this.

I have no intentions of keeping anything a secret... I would want to be open and honest with these people. I just won't go on and on about being married.

I actually like it that the greek life office person was this helpful. Usually they will set people up to go through recruitment no matter what their chances of getting a bid are. Here the guy said up front, 3/4s of the groups probably won't be able to consider you.

OP, I think you just have to ask yourself if you are interested in all the groups on your campus enough that if having a shot at 1 is good enough to encourage you to go through. I doubt you're going to be able to figure it out because I suspect this is one of those rules that even if there's no national or international GLO policy on it, the particularly chapters rules might be different. I'm guessing that the picture looks kind of bad for your membership. If 3/4 can't take married people, there's a chance that the campus culture is such that it's going to be hard to get a bid from the one.

As far as why groups would have this policy, I suspect it has to do with a time that most chapters were at campuses with really only traditional students and that it was assumed that a married woman's interests would be too different from other undergraduates. It was probably also assumed that other women's organizations served the needs of married women. And, I'll be honest, I think at a lot of campuses even today, social sororities and fraternities best serve the needs of single people and pretty young ones at that. A 25 year-old needs a home away from home in a totally different way than an 18 year-old away from home for the first time does.

If you've got a lot of non-traditional or returning students, then social GLO may offer something a little different and a married woman would probably get a lot more out of what a chapter has to offer.