Eating Disorders, Depression, etc.
 

Hey everyone,
I was really surprised to discover last week at retreat (while sharing stories about "most prized possesions") that many of my sisters suffer from depression, manic-depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADD, etc. By the end of retreat we were calling ourselves ZetasAnonymous. One girl finally asked "so, how many people in here suffer from some kind of mental disorder?" and at least 75% of my sisters raised their hands, including me. I am not ready yet to tell everyone what my problem is, but it happens to be a combination of Social Anxiety Disorder (I always feel as if people are always thinking I'm ugly or stupid or just consipiring against me, and I get nervous a lot), and various eating disorders.
I have done everything from starve myself, to vomiting and laxatives, to overeating (this one is the most frequent). So, I was wondering, how many of you out there suffer from similar problems? I have been wanting to get help for years, but I am too afraid to tell anyone. I know there are free guidance services at my school here, but I'm just really afraid. I've also had mild OCD where if I do something with one hand or one foot, or one side of my body, I have to do that with the other until it's even, or I have to count my footsteps, etc. Lately I think I've also been suffering from depression as an aftereffect of mono. I want to tell my sisters, or at least one of them, because I think most of them can relate, but I'm just so scared.

first of all ,let me say you have so much courage to come out and talk about this..

that being said, I need to say something. how long have you had an eating disorder? i'm a nursing student, and we've learned about all these, and you need, need need to see a doctor! taking laxatives is so bad for your intestines-you can really do alot of damage to them. that can lead to so many health problems in the future! cancer being a big one. and i'm sure you've heard about what can happen from throwing up-esophageal problems, teeth problems, stomach problems, etc. please see a doctor as soon as you can! this really worries me..

about mental illness-you'd be surprised how many people are affected by some form. i never knew-until recently- that my boyfriend has ADD and takes Ritilan. and my best friend in nursing school has a history of depression, and is also on meds. i know so many people who are on meds for some form of mental illness. i really don't think it's such a taboo these days-at least not as bad as it used to be-because so many people have problems.

please, if you have any health questions-or just want to talk-pm me!! and talk to someone you trust about this-they'll be a lot less shocked/judgemental than you think.

I don't have any but more people have a problem than don't and most don't get treatment- but you need to get treatment so you feel better and live a more normal life.

hey,
when i read your post, it was as if i was writing it. I too suffer from an eating disorder. I also have an emotional disorder that has yet to be diagnosed. I recently began treatment with a counselor and am taking antidepresants. It is a very hard thing to do. For me coming out about it was the hardest because it meant that i was ADMITTING that I was not "normal". and after all that was what the whole thing was about...trying to be "normal". Only my family and my roommates know (and now you) yet they have almost been more help than counseling. I think you will be surprised at how suportive people can be. I strongly urge you to seek help. It will only continue to cycle if you don't do something to end it. Please feel free to email me if you ever want to talk or have any questions. Good luck and remember that people really do care!

ZetaLuvBunny--I am so proud of you for having the courage to say something. It takes a lot of strength to do that and you have shown that you are a very strong person, along with also being a sweetheart.
I think all of us, at times, have some kind of disorder or attack. I know personally that I am a major control freak. I hate when I don't have control of whats going on and it totally makes me panic attack. I think thats why I HATED group projects in college and always ended up doing the whole thing myself--I never trusted that anyone would come through, so I would just take control. I am also the same way with driving--I hate when someone else is driving(especially if I don't really know them)-because I always want to be the one at the wheel. My first semester of freshman year I didn't have a car and had to rely on others and it was NOT a good semester for me.
I think if you can sometimes figure out what triggers panic attacks, or overeating, or being anorexic, it makes your life a little easier. And having a great support system(which it sounds like you have with your new ZTA sisters) never hurts either. By the end of school, all of my close friends knew just to let me drive, not to spring anything on me, and if I was panicky, to give me a hug and let me know they loved me. For me, this has worked, but I have never ruled out the possibility of going on medication. I have worked with a counselor at different points in my life and that has always been great. So I would just search out your options and see what is best for you. And know that I am always hear to listen!
Lesley

No, you're not alone, not even on this board. I've been through phases where I was painfully shy. They put me on Paxil when I was 17 (that was 7-8 years ago, yikes!!!) That plus a little counseling has made a world of difference in my life. I still have moments where I apologize way too much, think everyone hates me, shy away from uncomfortable situations, etc. However, compared to where I started from I think I'm doing much, much better. I think joining my sorority in college really helped me to open up a lot. The thing I've come to realize lately is that everyone has a little social anxiety and having a little more than most people is not uncommon and nothing to be ashamed of. I also find that when I am able to open up and explain myself better it fends off a lot of criticism and negative reactions I used to get from people. Communication really is key.

Anyway, it's kind of scary to think that I might have to stay on this medication forever. It's already been way too many years and I'd really like to get off of it eventually.

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. If you want to talk more about it feel free to e-mail me. Also - the thing I try to remember in battling my demons is to let go of my perceptions of trying to be "normal." There's no such thing and people who appear more "normal" than you really have their own problems. Just keep trying to take it one day at a time and realize when you've made progress with yourself - however small.

First I would just like to say that you are all very courageous for coming out and letting people on greekchat know about these things. The thing is, a lot of people do not look at these types of disorders as not being normal due to a rising number of people coming out and seeking help, because it is a huge issue. I don't look at it as someone not being normal, I look at it as someone who is being physically affected by their surrounds, whether it be depression, academic stress, everyday life. We all experience some of these at some point in life. The thing that should definately be known as that there are ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS people there to help you. I wish that more people would come forward when they are experiencing problems like this, because sometimes the end results can be devistating, or even fatal :(
I had a brother come to me and talk to me about he was having suicidal thoughts. That really really scared me because we had a brother kill him self just a year earlier. We got him to let his parents and his close friends know. His parents got him into counseling, and now he is doing perfectly well, and I really do feel that my brothers and myself helped save his life.

People are there, and people will always be there to help.

blaine

Jesssica,
Hey sweetheart! You are so very couragous to bring a topic like this up. I too have a form of depression. It stared when I was younger and my parents got divorced. I think then I blamed myself for their divorce and thought that maybe I could get them back together but when my attemps failed I think it made me worse. I went to many doctors as a child but I don't really think it helped me too much.My father lives in Mighigan and when my mom and I moved to Tennessee my father got angry at my mother for taking me away and as a result he lost contact with me. The majority of my problems have resulted from this but thanks to the help of my great friends I am so much better. They have made me realize that no matter how distant I am with my father that I AM a great person and if he doesn't want to be involved in my life then that's his loss!! So Jessica I would tell your sisters about it. They could help you out more than you would ever know it!! I hope everything works out ok with you and if you ever need to talk Im here!! :)

Nichole

Blaine's point is probably the most important part of greek life today - for all the crap we take, the beatings we earn, and problems we face, the most important thing is the brotherhood we feel within our particular groups - and it seems like many of you have seen this with regard to forms of illness.

I'm impressed that so many can speak so freely in this sort of forum about what affects them on a daily basis - that's incredible, and you should all feel proud that you are able to do this.

Remember: normalcy is in the eye of the beholder . . . if any of those who have shared here are not normal, it is merely because they exhibit superlative courage to come out here and lay their particular caveats out for us, to the general aid of all. In my eyes, you've all stepped up above the 'norm' so to speak.

I realize I screw around a lot on here, so maybe my voice carries less weight as such, but all of you should know that in no way do things beyond your control negatively impact judgement of you as people, at least in my eyes. Hopefully, we can all use your experiences as guides for those of us who may be in similar situations - you've all shown us a lot, and helped us all long-term, simply by showing others that 'normalcy' (a crappy term to say the least) does not have to be impacted by illness, and also the importance of diagnosis/treatment. Trust me - the social stigma is negligible, especially compared with the benefits to personal health and emotional well-being.

Thanks everyone! You're so great to me! I'm sure I will eventually get up the nerve to tell someone (I've never told ANYONE). I am so afraid of my mom finding out though, and she would FREAK because she's such a health nut. I think that's part of the reason I've always been afraid of being fat though, is because my mom was always hounding me about eating enough, eating right, etc. Also because a lot of people in my family are at least 50 pounds overweight (I'm like 20 pounds overweight, but I guess most people don't realise that because I'm tall), I'm scared I will end up like them. That's one reason I became a vegetarian three years ago, is to lose weight (although I also love animals). I'm sure I would be even bigger if I had not given up meat, because I'd be eating at MCDonald's, etc, a lot more. The only fast food I can eat as a vegetarian is bean burritos at Taco Bell or veggie subs at Subway, and those are lower fat than other fast food. Oh, well, I am trying, but for years it's been one week I stuff my face, the next I restrict myself.

Trust me when I say you aren't alone.
Something that might be of interest to you is this program/class I'm in now called "Greek Peer Advicasy". It was started through a grant & there are 2 advicates from each sorority on campus who go to class once a week & discuss many topics you mentioned, plus sexual health, abusive relationships and other issues that can affect college women. What I'll be trained to do is listen if a sister needs to talk & get appropriate help for her. In theory we're all supposed to have pagers & be available 24 hrs a day, but it's the 2nd year of the program & that goal hasn't been realized yet. The reason I mentioned it is that maybe you (GCers) could look into starting a simmilar program at your schools. I think it would be an awsome thing to have available everywhere. You can email or PM me if you're interested & I'll hook you up with the details & who you could talk to at my school.
ZetaLuvBunny- talk to a couselor. You may just feel better eventually, but what if you don't? Do you want to live like that when a soulution could be very simple? I hope you're feeling better soon.
Heidi

I know this is an old thread, but...
 

I don't know what to do anymore and I have no idea what's wrong with me. I've never really been a happy-go-lucky person to begin with, so it's not like I've had a sudden shift in mood. It's more like this constant nagging in my head that I can't get rid of. No matter what I try to do, I can't get rid of the feeling that I'm not good enough for or at anything. I'm constantly waiting for the friends I do have to realize I'm not as cool as they seem to think I am and find someone better to hang out with. I end up picking fights with my friends about other friends or about people they try to date because I'm convinced they're going to abandon me. Like last night, my good friend went out with this guy and I was crying for hours because she had a good time and will probably go out with him again. I want to believe there's a possibility they'll only go out a few times and nothing will come of it (part of the problem I had with their date was that I was scared to death he was going to do something to her - this guy is 23 and practically raped an 18 year old who was passed out and lying in her own vomit, among other shady things - he gets drunk and tries to take advantage of girls which I think is really scary, so I'd like to think some of the reason I was upset was about that). However, there's a big part of my brain that throws in the, "They went out once! They'll go out again! They'll fall madly in love and you'll be by yourself!" Then I get upset because I'm upset and think about how I'm a horrible friend and my friend will never want to talk to me again. I don't think dating's an option for me, since I don't see what a guy would ever see in me to begin with. In my mind, I'm beastlike, fat (even though I'm probably only 20 pounds overweight, if that), boring as hell and psycho. I sleep all the time. I can't concentrate at work. All I want to do is drink myself into a stupor and not feel anything half the time, but then I end up more depressed. Any little thing can throw me into a major depression, especially if I feel left out of anything, but then I end up apologizing to whoever it was and telling them that I don't know why they hang out with me anyway. I feel worse if I know I'm burdening my friends with my own issues, but at the same time, there's this feeling in my head at all times that I'm going to be alone for as long as I live. I don't know why I'm even sharing this on here since I feel like a complete nutjob, but I'm at the point where I don't know what to do anymore. I want to just go home and lock myself in my room. I feel really really dumb throwing this all out on here since I feel like I'm just asking for an ego stroke or something, but really I'm to the point where I can't take this anymore and I'm really scared and I need to do something before it gets worse. :( I really don't know what I'm asking for on here, but if you have any ideas, please clue me in..

RUN, don't walk
 

If you've been feeling like this for over two weeks now, go to your doctor IMMEDIATELY. All your symptoms--constant nagging feelings, crying jags, excessive sleeping, inability to concentrate--are all signs of clinical depression. It is treatable with counseling, anti-depressants, or a combination of both.

You don't have to live with this cloud over your head. Please go get some help, feel free to pm me if you need to talk, and good luck!

AXOLiz,

You just described me, a year ago. What pulled me out of that rut is realizing that YOU have to make YOURSELF happy, insecurity will get you NO WHERE, time is precious have fun while you can, and that you don't NEED people who will hurt you.

Exercise and doing my favorite hobbies also lifted my spirits.

*busting out her DSM-IV*

AOXLiz: Yes, you are describing clinical depression. And it was very brave of you to describe what you are going through. Society has a tendency to impose the idea on us (especially women) that we must be happy all the time. And yes, sometimes we feel like "ugh, what's wrong with me?" when we aren't happy. However, when your symptoms are lasting two weeks, most of the day, nearly every day, that becomes a problems.

Although no one on GC knows you irl, it is evident by your posts that you are a wonderful, kind person and you do not deserve to suffer!!!

A clinical psychologist who is a co-investigator where I work studies depression. He said that he (along with many other prominant people in the field) are finding more and more that rumination is a sign of depression. When you said that you have "constant nagging in your head that you cannot get rid of" that reminded me of him and his work. Several key points are:

-People who are depressed think about depressing/unpleasant things much more and much longer than someone who isn't depressed.
-Your brain and it's mechanisms can be likened to a muscle. When you use a muscle more, it grows stronger, works harder, etc.... The more you think about depressing things, the "better" you get at it and the more often you do it. Your brain's chemicals essentially create more effective pathways for negative thinking.

So, what does he suggest? Practicing "mindfullness." Although I do not know much about it, what I gather is that it is choosing to do a task and then completely concentrating on it. A list always helps to fill up your day with tasks to concentrate on. As Dionysus said, exercise is a good thing because it gets the endorphines flowing.

Good luck with everything. Although I may not know you, I care and sympathize deeply with what you are going through.

Although this post could have been PM'd, I thought that maybe what I have learned would help someone else. :)