My fraternity needs help with women
 

Ok this is quite embarrassing to admit, but my fraternity is really weak when it comes to women and sorority relationships. We have a few girls that come out and hang out with us, and in general they are attractive, but I really want to know the secret to being able to have a better relationship with the really hot sorority. My guys are attractive (no homo) and are fairly social in certain ways, but then some arn't. we have a mixed bag of people and are EXTREMELY diverse. We arn't the alpha males of the campus, nor are we the extreme party goers but we do have our fair share. I am quite comfortable talking and hanging out with any girl, but my brothers arn't, and one guy can't change every womans opinion on why my fraternity is the best to hang out with. How do you become the alpha male of the groups, and swade these women to hang out with you more. Is it money and free alcohol for them and just always partying and calling them up or what? Its hard on my campus because there are 9 fraternities to 5 sororities so some sororities are exclusive to one of the 9, so the other 4 are left out, ours being one of them. How do we become the guys that the beautiful sorority wants to hang out with and not associate with anyone else? Here is how bad it is. we had a social with zta yesterday with a cookout and we were going to host a party just for them later that night. at first they acted excited, but their social chair came to me later and was like "we should reschedule because i know a lot of the girls had plans tonight already" it was a bs excuse, and i highly highly doubt i will hear from them about a mixer for the future. If we were the other fraternity they hung out with they would all be over in a heartbeat. It makes me sick. what are we doing wrong? please help

we pretty much only resort to the girls in our classes and not sororities because they are too busy hanging out with another fraternity. and no I'm not aiming for one particular sorority although that would be great, I would honestly settle for any of the five so at least we will look better then a greek organization that doesn't have that.. we even have a sister sorority that doesn't associate with us. its so embarrassing.

You're an idiot.

Well I'm not in college yet, I do, however, mingle with the ladies and know what they like...Firstly I agree with Violet 100%, but if you're the only one who really talks to the ladies then that wont cut it. You've got to figure out a way to make the rest of the bruhs more confident. The whole point is, even if you guys aren't the Alpha males, you treat the ladies with respect not only just at parties and stuff, but everywhere on campus and establish a network it'll all follow, if its one thing I know, its that ladies talk! A LOT! So just treat them nice and be smooth about it, and always rep your letters at the Parties and stuff, and do stuff to make people notice your Frat, before you know it everyone will be coming to your parties and hanging out with you guys

The first thing you might want to do is to show support for the sororities. Don't just talk to them, but show them that you care. If they put on an event, show up. When they hold initiation, send a card saying "congrats" to their new members. You don't have to suck up to them, just let them know you're thinking about them in one way or another.

And going back to events... ask if a sorority would like to host one with you. Maybe a concert? Or some type of philanthropy event? Some of your brothers may be more comfortable talking to the girls in an environment such as this, rather than at a mixer where they might feel forced to socialize with people they don't know. And it's not exactly something that the sorority can back out of at the last second.

And communicate with the sororities about potential sisters that you know. If your brothers talk to certain girls in class, they can ask them if they've thought about joining a sorority. You can introduce them to sorority members. Helping the sororities with recruitment in small ways can sometimes help build relations in big ways.

Also... I don't know how Greek life is on your campus, or how close each chapter is with each other (and from what I've seen and experienced, different sororities are usually more willing to work with one another, while fraternities tend to be more "competitive", so to speak)... but if it's possible, try having a giant mixer with 2 fraternities and 2 sororities.

And the most important thing... work on conversation skills! And if some guys are still too shy to talk to girls at mixers, try pairing them with a brother who is more outgoing. Sometimes, all a person needs is to have someone else start up a conversation for them, and then they'll talk for hours. But also recognize that their might be some people who simply can't be helped in this area. It happens.

You come across as wanting to hang out with women in sororities just because they're in sororities. That's offensive to a lot of girls.

Go to Tijuana, get your geeky brothers laid, and go from there.

Girls like to hang out with guys who are fun to be with. A group of guys can complement one another in this way because some are the conversationalists, some are the wits, some are zany, some are good listeners, some are good with music, or food, etc. I think it all goes back to brotherhood...if you genuinely enjoy each other's company and have a lot of fun together, the girls will pick up on that and want to hang out with you, too.

Old habits die hard, however. If the girls normally hang out with rival XYZ fraternity because they have a lot of fun there, it's going to be very difficult to persuade them to change. I do like the fact that you had a barbeque, though -- things like that get the ball rolling.

If conversation is a problem, then you'd better have activities to fall back on -- i.e. a Wii, Guitar Hero, a ping-pong table, a dart board, frisbees, or whatever -- the more the better. I've seen girls pick up random pieces of sports equipment that are laying around (i.e. lacrosse sticks) and start to play with them. You can have a giant jigsaw puzzle in progress on a table or a deck of cards handy. All make great ice-breakers.

Money is nice, but is usually not a huge issue unless you're so desperately poor that you can't go out and do normal college things. Lack of a car in anywhere but a highly urban setting is pretty lame, though. JMO

do you have friends in any of the sororities? if so, enlisting your friends help in talking up an event with your fraternity can be a tremendous help.

how much notice did the zetas have for your planned social? sororities usually work on their calendars for the next semester toward the middle of or the end of the present semester. in other words, most of fall 2009 semester will be planned out before this semester is finished. that doesn't mean that the calendar is set in stone, but the more notice the better. perhaps the zeta social chair agreed to the bar-b-que before she checked the calendar and/or ran it by the executive officers. it may have been more a misunderstanding than a snub.

how many members do you have? what size is the smallest sorority in comparison? if the sororities average 100 members and your fraternity has 30 guys, perhaps joining forces with another similarly sized fraternity and just one sorority would be more successful.

definately plan activities that will be fun. do you have access to a volleyball court-maybe randomly assigning guys and girls to teams could help with the mingling. or maybe plan a bowling or minature golf outing, remembering to assign teams to maximize socializing.

have you all ever serenaded the sororities? back in my day, the fraternities often would serenade a sorority that they wanted to have a social with and we loved it! the most memorable one was when the serenaders changed the words to the beach boys tune" california girls"-two of the brothers played guitars and instead of singing east coast, northern, southern, midwest girls, they used names of campus sororities and then for the chorus instead of california girls is was zeta girls. cute, cute, cute!! if you should decide to give that try, make sure you all practice. at the conclusion of the song, the president stepped forward and said "the men of "abc" fraternity would like to invite the ladies of zeta tau alpha to "very fun" social on "date

thanks for all of the advice. I think i might have pinpointed the problem in one of your posts. We don't have really good brotherhood anymore, so when we are doing a party or some other shindig, its like we get into clicks, and just say hi, and don't socialize with each other as brothers. thats a huge problem, and i think the girls catch on to this. and for the 33girl that said it looks bad that all we want to do is hang out with just sororities, you didn't even read what i posted...the only girls we do hang out with is "other women not in sororities" i'm not saying i want to be exclusive only to sororities I just want to make a sorority comfortable with hanging out with us on the regular like the other non sorority girls do. Its like they don't even give us a chance to show who we are because they are so far up another fraternies asses

What are you doing wrong? You're looking to socialize with women only because of their looks. You're desperate and superficial, and those of us in the -uh- really hot sororities can smell that a mile away.

heh, I can't believe you dipwads responded to this moron.

boo hoo fucking hoo. You stupid fuck. Too chicken shit to retaliate on the board? Me? Jack off? Heh. Listen you piece of shit. You're the retarted fuck who posted about your loser fraternity having social issues with chicks, not me. You posted it, I commented on it. Deal with it. While your at it, eat a fucking dick.

edit: Hey shit for brains. I'll come back here 50 fucking times if I feel like commenting on your stupid posts, and next time don't fucking retreat to a PM, because I'm just going to post it for everyone to see, asshole.

That asswipe couldn't get laid by his own left hand. Him or is asshat fraternity brothers.

Highschool social chair... everyone look out.