New here, in AI process!
 

I've been in the process of AI since about October. I've met all the women of my local alumna chapter and actively participate in their events. The next step for approval before I am initiated is to meet the women of the local collegiate chapter. I get to do this finally on Saturday, at their annual formal! I'm so excited!

Any tips on my first sorority formal? I'm taking my significant other, am wearing a black halter cocktail dress, and have ordered our corsage and boutonniere (the sorority's official flower, of course!) Any other ideas or things I should think about ahead of time?

If the collegiate chapter agrees, I will be initiated on April 26.

As a collegiate chapter adviser, the thing that creeps me out is when alumnae members want to become overly involved with a collegiate chapter. Remember that you will be joining as an alumnae and not a collegiate member and should act in that regard. I'm all for assisting a collegiate chapter but remember that their chapter is for collegiate members and not alumnae hoping to relive their collegiate days.

I think she's saying that she HAS to meet the collegiate women to get approval for initiation. The collegiate chapter doing the initiation may have to okay her application. As for the corsage, I think that it's a little much. I can't remember anyone wearing them at formals in college.

Agree. My caution was intended for her to downplay the excitement of attending a collegiate formal since she is obviously enthuastic about her date, dress and corsage. I do not know the organization or AI process that she will be undergoing but wish her luck in the alumane chapter upon initiation.

AI
 

At this point, it probably is not a good idea to wear the sorority flower or in any way indicate that you already consider yourself a member. Even though you are an adult pending initiation as an alum, you are a PNM to the collegiate chapter and should not wear their colors or flower yet. Just be pleasant and meet as many members as possible. Watch the drinking if alcohol is around (although it shouldn't be) and no making out or too close dancing with the SO. You don't have to be prudish but there will probably be some alums at the formal watching you as well.

Best of luck to you. I am sure you will enjoy being initiated.

Paula M.
Sigma Delta Tau
Patrae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

Is it common for AI candidates to "get to know" the college members at a formal event? From a collegian perspective, this thing has awkward written all over it.

I think it would depend on the organization, the chapter, and the type of formal. If the formal was a philanthropic event that parents and other alumnae traditionally attend, it may not be uncommon for a potential alumna initiate to be there. If the event is the chapter's own annual or semesterly formal, I can see how that could be awkward; however the formal may be QueenCity's only real chance to meet the entire chapter before initiation.

I agree with what others have said about the corsage. Check with the alumnae to see what the norm is for the chapter, but in my experience, people didn't wear corsages to Greek formals. Wearing the sorority's flower is a lovely sentiment, but it might come across as presumptuous.

Best of luck to you, and have a great time!

Wearing the sorority's flower (and giving it to your date) is very presumptuous before you're a member.

Unless this "formal" is an event that parents and older alumnae attend, I would look for another chance to meet the chapter. For many chapters, formal is a very special occasion for active sisters and their dates only - I can't imagine how upset and resentful I would have been to have a woman I didn't know attending, let ALONE to have her bringing a date.

This may be your last chance to meet everyone this school year, but if you weird everyone out, you may completely ruin your chance to become a sister. Just because the alum chapter or the national office thinks this meeting at the formal business is fine doesn't mean that the collegians will.

Do what you feel is best and do so with your whole heart.

I wish you the very best! Please report back on the formal.

The formal went well; the event was held about an hour from the campus. The women and their dates took two buses and due to some logistical issues, arrived a bit later than expected. My date and I socialized with the chapter advisor and her husband while we waited on them. The truth is many of the women were relatively intoxicated by the time they arrived, but it was a pleasant time, nonetheless!

I'm meeting with the women again in a regular chapter meeting this weekend. They will take a vote at that meeting, and if approved, I'll be initiated in two weeks!

SERIOUSLY.

I agree about discretion and would recommend not being so quick to judge the actions (intoxication) of those that ultimately vote on your fate.

Wow. Just wow.

Holy Jebus.