Not Sure What to Make of this "Recruitment" Strategy...
 

Ok so according to XYZ's recruitment page, recruitment had ended a few weeks ago in January. Last week, I was invited to an ice cream social and then to a dinner at the XYZ house.

Not only was I the only non-sorority member there both times, but I never got information about anything after that. It's been a week and I've emailed the coordinator, but still no response.

And then yesterday, I received another invitation to a fund rasier they put on annually.

What does this mean? I'm just confused...

Were there members from other groups there? How do you know this sorority? Did you rush and not receive a bid?

Many times sororities that would be interested in getting to know a potential more will invite her to multiple functions when they are not extending bids. It DOES increase her chance of getting a bid in the long run (for the most part, because she knows more members).

Bottom line: if you are interested in getting a bid, continue to go. But if they are ONLY inviting you to stuff they want you to spend money at (like fundraisers and stuff) then they are probably just trying to raise money and are not interested in you as a member.

If you can handle the thought that you may not get a bid, keep going. Maybe more women need to meet you so they feel comfortable inviting you to join their membership. If their philanthropy event is something you'd go to anyway, go.

I would NOT bring up membership at the philanthropy event (unless asked a direct question such as "Are you interested in joining XYZ?").

One thing that may be happening is that the woman you emailed is no longer the "coordinator" as many groups bring in new officers with the new calendar year. My best advice is to be patient (if you want to join any sorority) and be kind and polite. That sort of classy and mature behavior will always pay off, and you won't be featured in a GC post about a weird or strange PNM. Even if this group isn't interested in having you as a member, your actions in this situation will likely play out if you go through formal or informal recruitment in the future.

Here's a true story: I have friends in other sororities, and sometimes when we know a woman isn't a good fit for our sisterhood, but still a great person, we pass their names on to our panhellenic sisters. Or if for some reason they decided to go the formal recruitment route after freshman year, we give our friends a heads up, or as I am an alumna, help them secure recs. That also goes for other events and activities we're involved in, which can, but does not guarantee, an extension of membership in the future. Presenting yourself positively can only help you.

What do you have to lose or gain by going to these events? Are you truly interested in membership? Can you handle rejection? These are all questions you need to ask yourself and keep in mind if you pursue membership.

maybe one of their new members dropped out and they are considering filling that vacant spot, even though their website says they are finished with recruitment events. maybe they are taking their time filling that spot, to ensure that this new member will be a sure bet, and not drop out.

if you feel like it, go and enjoy yourself. if it becomes tedious and no longer fun, politely decline.

please let us know what happens. i'm intrigued!

A few questions:

You say that recruitment ended a few weeks ago... are you talking about FORMAL recruitment?

Did the dinner and ice cream social definitely feel like informal recruitment events?

If so, could it be possible that other invited guests just simply didn’t show up?

How long ago did these events take place?

How were you invited to them?

How were you invited to the fundraiser?

Frankly, I'm not sure that it necessarily meant anything.

I'm not going to attempt to guess the motives for a chapter I know nothing about at a school I do not know. If it is really bothering you, I'd ask one of your close friends in the sorority why you seem to be the only non-member showing up to these events.

I would NOT do this...asking somebody from a chapter why "I was the only non-member here" could be seriously awkward...maybe they invited 50 girls and she was the only one who showed up (obviously a little exaggerated)...in that type of scenario it would be a seriously rude question and even her closer friends in the chapter might reconsider giving her a bid.

BUT my biggest question is this: are you sure these were informal recruitment events? They very well may be. But, for example, women from my chapter will invite close friends to meals all the time simply because they want to hang out with their friends. Other sororities have things like ice-cream sundae events for the entire school. You could have been the only non-member at dinner simply because it was a random night for a friend to bring somebody to dinner. You could have been the only non-member at the ice cream social if your school's Greek community has a small impact and the event wasn't advertised well.

Did the sorority make quota? Are they at total? Are you even sure that these were meant to be events where they bid women? I am not attacking you or anything, just wondering.