Junior Recruitment
 

In spring of 08 I transferred into a four year college near the beach in sc. It is beautiful in a historic city. I have always wanted to be in a sorority after seeing one of my mentors at church be in one. She LOVED her sorority. So when I transferred no one was having informal. I waited till the fall and being a sophomore I was very nervous. After the first round I had been cut from 5 of the 8 chapters. After the second day I had feel in love with one particular chapter. The third day came around and I had 2 chapters to go to. I had not felt a connection at either chapter so I dropped. I heard the college of raising it's numbers so a couple of sororities would be having informal. I was soo excited. I went to informal for the sorority that I was in love with. I made it all three nights and then I waited on a call for bid day. The call never came. I was upset because I wanted this so much. I e-mailed the president and told her how invinting the chapter was. She told me to go through fall recruitment as a junior because they do not look at age/year. During formal I only made it to the second night with them. I was just wanting to get your thoughts on this. There is about 400 girls that go through recruitment and 8 houses. Each chapter only gives bids for maybe 50 girls. I would love advice on this.

Sounds like maybe it is just not meant to be with the "chapter you love". Perhaps you should consider other chapters during future recruitment opportunities.

My kind of harsh, but honest thoughts:

This chapter didn’t want you. It’s as simple as that. You went through recruitment 3 times, and they turned you down every time. For what reason, I’m not really sure. No one here can answer that for you. Maybe it was your grades, maybe you needed more extra-curriculars, maybe you said something inappropriate during recruitment... the only people who can say for sure are the girls in that chapter, and they’re not going to tell you.

E-mailing the President probably wasn’t the best idea. There is only so much she could have said to you. Imagine what it was like for her to receive an email from a girl that her chapter turned down. What did you expect her to say? And as you said, she told you to try formal again, probably as a nice way of saying, “Look at the other chapters”... but I can’t say that’s what she was thinking for sure. But still, she didn’t say to you, “Go through recruitment again and we’ll give you a bid.” To expect that from her and/or the chapter is unreasonable.

Sometimes things just don’t work out. But if you really want to be a part of Greek life, you have to seize the opportunity when it’s presented to you. What didn’t you like about the other chapters who were willing to possibly give you a bid? These chapters wanted to give you a chance, but you didn’t give them one. You should have at least went to the last round of recruitment to see if your opinion of them changed (which definitely happens for a lot of people).

What Kansas City said.

Could it be that you were not feeling the other chapters because you were in love with just one house? I can understand houses not feeling like a good fit for you, but honestly, having your heart set on just one house might have something to do with that.

We've often seen girls going into rush, thinking, "XYZ is the only house I'll consider." Well guess what - they had crappy rushes. It's very important to keep an open mind and consider all the houses. If you decide to rush again, it might do you some good to move on from that house that you love so much. You went through informal rush and formal rush and still no bid. Rush is mutual selection. Remember that.

I'd also refrain from emailing the President next time. You just don't do that, sorry.

I know the school you are talking about. It is very competitive. Like Kansas City said, you should keep all options open at this school. Good luck.

They've already made in pretty clear that they're just not that into you. Emailing the president was creepy. If you go through recruitment again, you're going to have to keep a much more open mind.

And if you go through recruitment again, don't be surprised if it doesn't work out. I guarantee that some people will recognize you as "the girl who's gone through recruitment a few times." And even the chapters who have continued to invite you back in the past might cut you early, thinking that if you've turned them down before, there's no use wasting an invitation on you, especially because you dropped even before the final rounds of recruitment.

I always encourage people to try again if it's something that they really want, but if you do, be aware that it might end the same way that it has in the past (even if you do keep an open mind this time).

I've seen this situation a few times and have never seen it work out for the particular PNM. To the OP: If you do go through recruitment again, please don't be surprised at the outcome, if you just want the one group.

Just so you know, if you were trying to hide that you go to CofC, you did a horrible job.

Not to mention that it confirms location for those of us who didn't have a clue in the first place.