Ticket
 

I don't think I've ever started a thread here (if so, it was a while ago!), but I have a question:

You're out with Mr. Special; you've been dating for over a year. It's been a great night, and you're planning to take in a movie prior to a late night dinner. Mr. Special is driving in the left lane, going 3 miles over the speed limit, through Strict Suburb, and is pulled over for speeding and for changing lanes without using his turn signal.

Okay, he changed lanes once he saw the flashing lights, and THREE miles over the limit?? He is given a ticket for "just" the speeding, and not the changing lanes. :rolleyes:

Knowing that he is dependent on his car for work, and you make more than he, do you offer to help pay for the ticket?

FYI, I did question why he didn't use "ma'am" to the police woman, or "sir" with the back up policeman. We're both convinced that she was being trained for speed traps. Luckily, he was able to go to Traffic School for a night so it won't show on his insurance.

If you've been dating over a year, then I'd at least offer to help pay. But 3 miles over the limit? How much did it come out to? It can't be that much, can it?

If he was some guy you just met or haven't been dating that long, I wouldn't offer.

My BF and I have been together over a year and he's managed to get parking tickets and a car towed. I've helped him as best as I could afford, especially when times were tight.

Try $177.00. I'm fairly certain that this is the township's major form of fund raising.

I'm confused... You mean he is in "Lane #1" vs. "Lane #2" or do you mean Britain?

If you mean Lane #1... Then yeah, while EFF'ed up, they DO give tixs for over 3 mph over the speed limit... How did they gauge he was 3 mph over?

first of all, Mr. Special got ripped! I was caught "going 19 miles over" the limit once. I put that in quotes because I most certainly was NOT going that fast but, as I was still speeding regardless, I didn't argue. Anywho, mine was $160 and got knocked down to $100 after I went to court.

Second...I would offer to help if I knew he couldn't afford the ticket on his own and we'd been together that long. If we'd not been together that long (> 6 months), then no.

I can't imagine ever accepting the help, unless the ticket was incurred doing something explicitly for my significant other, unless I was destitute or the pay disparity was so severe that the amount would be meaningful to me but literally meaningless to her.

But it's certainly fine and very respectable to offer - this feels like one of those "couples' dance" situations, where you have to offer, he has to turn it down, then the amiable solution works itself out, if that makes any sense.

A ticket for 3 over is unreal though - I'd consider fighting it. Show up to court and see if the prosecutor isn't willing to make a deal - often they will. Offer to donate the money to charity or perform community service in exchange for dropping the ticket (insurance, points).

I was thinking I'd go to court over that one. My ex got speeding tickets a lot and I don't even think there was a category on the ticket for less than 5 miles over. There were little check boxes for 5 over, 5-10 over, etc. 3 over could be a calibration issue with either.

I agree about this being the "couples dance" though. I'd offer but expect he would say 'no'. And I'd probably cook him dinner or something the night he had Traffic School.

I'd risk court costs and take that one to court...3 should be within a range of error of some sorts.

I agree on all counts. And seriously, what is up with 3 mph over the limit. Most places I'm familiar with won't bother unless it's at least 5 mph over the limit, figuring anything less could be attributed to speedometer calibration or the like. (And by the way, it might be worth having his speedometer checked. If it's off, that might help in court.)

When you say "strict suburb" do you mean residential area? In those cases they WILL get you for 3 miles over unlike an interstate which they usually don't mess with you until 5 miles over.
Personally I think it would be "odd" to offer the guy money but I'd make a comment like cutting back for a while and maybe make him dinner and pay for videos etc. for a while instead of going out on costly dates. That would "help" him and yet he would keep his dignity.

Call me heartless but no I wouldn't help. He's the one driving. Why would you need driving school for 3mph over? And what does him needing his car for work have to do with getting a ticket? It's not being impounded.

I'm also one of those very careful drivers who actually goes the speed limit (or 5 over. I've never seen someone pulled over for going 5). Knock on wood I've never had a speeding ticket.

Just to bring you all up to date (and explain why I asked):

He was in the passing lane of a four lane main street, because he was going to make a left. It was a residential area (y'all would recognize the suburb if I mentioned it), and trust me, Mr. Special never speeds (that's my job!). It was on a Sunday night, so it wasn't a school zone thing - as I said before, I'm convinced it's the town's main source of revenue.

Because this is his busiest season, and really couldn't afford to take time off for going to court, he took the one night "driving school". He said it was like The Breakfast Club - no real schooling, just detention, so at least he could get some work done and his insurance wasn't notified.

I did offer to help him with the ticket. As I said, I make more than he does, and it was supposed to be a fun night out. He declined the offer (yes, the dance!), but everytime I think about the three stinking miles, I get really miffed. He had been talking about something special for Valentine's Day before the ticket, and now, the silence is deafening. Obviously, the gift-o-meter is set on low for a while, because of the over-eager policemen.

I do thank you all for your responses. I never thought about having his speedometer calibrated, although when I mentioned going to traffic court, he said that he simply didn't have the time. A true statement - February is his worst month.

Thanks again!

Alright, in that situation, with more details given, I would make the plans for Valentine's Day and insist that this one is your treat. That way, you can still do something special even though he's probably broke because of the ticket. "This one is on me.. you do special things for me all the time and it's MY turn to do it for you, you get Valentine's Day next year."

BRILLIANT!