Emotional breakdown
 

Okay, here it is Sunday morning and I am so emotionally drained right now. Last night was one of those drunk and crying nights, and I haven't had one of those in so long.

I normally have a great head on my shoulders, like the person that I am, like my friends and family and am emotionally happy. And I felt like that all downspiraled last night. I feel like all this month, I have been helping my friends though depression, boyfriend problems, etc. but I need them to listen to me once in a while as well. I don't really like to drink to get drunk, but I did last night and I started to think that I don't like the person I have become - I have been going out more and more, not drinking alot but just going out for the sake of going out. Two things that were so important in my life a month ago - working out and church - have been missing. I am graduating in Dec. and am afraid of what comes next. I am so picky about guys that I like and have gotten a little old for the shacking thing( I was a freshmen once three years ago and went through a little period of that as a 17yo in college for the first time), yet all that went out the window this week.

Well, that in a nutshell is where I am at right now. I am actually going to head to the Vinyard, a church, and maybe workout today when the drunken hangover has worn off. Working out always lifts my spirits! Sorry, about my little tirade.

Oh wow sweetie - you have a lot on your plate right now - especially with graduating in December!! That is enough to make you emotionally messy right there. But honestly, it isn't "the end" of all you enjoyed in college - you can come back and visit and you will appreciate it even more when you do.

I know what you mean about going out just to go out - I got into that too - like if I didn't go I felt like everybody would be like "what's wrong w/ 33, she isn't out?" (Now I see how self-involved that was, like anyone gave a crap!) And BOY do I know what it is like to be the one who has to be strong for everyone else. It's an honor in a way that everyone feels they can turn to you, but once in a while you just need to vent your own probs.

Go to church if it makes you feel better and don't just work out in the gym - take a long walk or two by yourself to find things in your college town you might never have noticed or had time for till now. Just try to enjoy the rest of your student time and eventually everything will work out.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad right now. Don't get too down on yourself, though, because everybody is allowed to have a little breakdown now and then. Tell your friends that you need them to be there for you right now, and I'm sure they will listen.

As for graduating in December, OF COURSE you are afraid and anxious. You will be taking a big step. I remember being absolutely terrified when I was about to graduate from college. It is scary, and your life is going to change. You know what, though? You will be fine. You will do what you need to do and you will be fine. If you are afraid of facing the world after graduation, start thinking (if you haven't) about what you want to do and where you want to be, and plan how you can make it happen.

Don't beat yourself up for having a drunk/crying night. Understand that it is what you needed last night, you have gotten it out of your system and you are ready to move on now. Good for you, too for doing things like going to church and working out that will make you feel better. A good workout can solve a multitude of problems. And remember that we're all here for you!!

That reminds me -- I must go to the gym now!!

I think what you are feeling is very normal. If you don't mind a trip down memory lane let me share. I was THE LAST in my group to get married. (27) I went from apartment to apartment as one by one my friends tied the knot. I even lived with my best couple friends till their wedding. Through all this I went from one end of the spiritual rainbow to the other. I dated my huband on and off for 10 YEARS!!! Going out was a "damned if you do. damned if you don't" situation. I hated my major so I travel with a band I sang with. Still, there were times when I felt blessed and times when I felt like I was going NOWHERE while everyone else had already arrived. Now, I'll give you some heartfelt advice.
Keep practicing your faith. You may want to choose another "building" for a change of scene. Give yourself a little distance from the problems of your friends. Either try to change the subject or cut short your time together. The idea of the long walk is excellent. Look for all the beautiful things in nature and see them through new eyes. Reading poetry or philosophy is mind stretching. I think our political situation is just one more thing... Now, the best one- Put on some music (not the regular stuff) but the kind that reaches your soul and DANCE- Interpretive
style-like you would DIE if anyone saw you! Remember you are soon to make a change and if Psychology 101 serves me, you may find yourself grieving for what you soon will leave behind.

PS
 

It's important to be picky when it comes to guys. I met my husband at 17. We both dated many others during breakups.
I always knew, as did he, we were soul mates. They really do exist.

I can totaly understand as being a very emotional person myself!

I guess you say I am lucky as being an owner of a very small business, I have a place to go every day and when Lucy d comes in to releive me I can get on GC and be with freinds.

I have wept so many times in the last 2 weeks I should be a full fledged member of who flew over the cookoos nest!

There are very trying times in our lives, and they do not stop coming at you all the time! Decisions must and have to be made. This goes on for our whole adult life.

While at the moment it seems as if your life is going to pot, there are better times in front of you! I wish I could know you say 10 yrs from now and see what you think!

In every life rain will fall, but really, sometimes there is a silver lining on the Crapper wall!!!!!


Do not give up the ghost and keep a stiff upper lip! We want you with us!

Hey sweetheart,
 

Now is definitely the time to pamper yourself a bit. Get a massage (Ahem, a proffessional one, unless the boy is really good with his hands;)), and go do whatever else makes you feel good. I know when I am not working out I feel out of sorts and out of place . . .

As far as graduating in December, make your resume, put it out, visit career center, and then forget about it and have fun. Who even knows if December will even come? That is four long months away . . .

You might get a glamorous job offer for 100k a year, or the world might end . . . or the horse might learn how to sing (famous speakers story). December will take care of itself. Just remember that you are special and deserve (as well as owe it to yourself) to be as happy as possible, and enjoy every moment in the now (a tough trick).

I know intimately what it is like to be the confidant and advisor for everyone's problems. People expect you be like a rock and wouldn't know what to do if you opened up to them and showed yourself to be mortal. I listen to many and talk to no one.

You should take advantage of the Web, everyone here will support you and patiently listen to anything you desire to share.

Take care,

James

Hey there,

Panicking close to graduation is normal! After all, who knows what's around the bend?

I'd advise you to stay as active as possible. Take up those things you've temporarily let go...church and workouts can really get your spirits up. Also, throw yourself into that last semester with your sorority (alum life is great but different) and into scoping out some really super jobs.

If you keep moving, you won't have time to be sad!

I just have one thing to tell you:
what comes after graduation is not going to be as scary as you think that it will be. You will graduate, put out your resumes and find a great job that you love to do. Right now, I'm doing the same thing, only backwards; real world first, college now. And truthfully, you did it the easy way the first time. Doing it backwards only lets you realize where you should have been and what you should have been doing (going to college and getting a degree) in the first place.

I know that you'll do fine, and you have the support of all your friends, and of course, the GC fam. Now, go listen to some music, eat tons of junk food and chocolate, and leave the worries behind for a couple hours. :)

Thanks for all your words of enouragement. I am feeling definitely alot better. I think this weekend just made me realize that I don't want to leave my friends and grow up, which is silly.

I have just got done polishing my resume, filing clips - my major is journalism. The next few months will be exciting. I am working 30 hours a week at the local newspaper here as well as taking classes. I have gotten back into working out, and back in the swing of things.