WTF Harm Reduction???
 

http://www.lambdachi.org/resources.aspx?id=216

What the hell is "harm reduction"? Why do we always have to rephrase everything and rename every process or procedure so it is different from other fraternities?

Just call it risk management, every other frat does. Why do we have to strive to be different, even if it makes us sound stupid?

Also, harm reduction implies that harm is already occurring, and that we can only "reduce" the harm.

Maybe we should call it "harm cessation"?

Or how about a phrase everybody can relate to/easily understand: "Don't be a fuckin' moron and get your chapter shut down".

Simple and to the point.

High Alpha -- Chief Executive Heirarch
High Beta -- Assistant Manager
High Gamma -- Executive Records Supervisor
High Delta -- Membership Expansion Chairman
High Kappa -- Supreme Historian
High Phi -- Activation Catalyst
High Rho -- Senior Member Mediator
High Epsilon -- Special Event Organizer
High Iota -- Harm Reduction Planner
High Sigma -- Eligibility Executor
High Pi -- History Consultant
High Tau -- Finance Master

Oh my God, when did all of this change?

Executive Records Supervisor? That used to be secretary when I was in school.

SUPREME Historian? Activation Catalyst?

The only one that makes sense is the Special Event Organizer.

These names are a little absurd.

This is like calling a garbage man a "Senior Executive Field Coordinator of Waste Disposal Systems".

Maybe HQ should spend a little less time thinking of fancy names to call people and a little more time running our fraternity.

I haven't seen this much glorification of titles since I revised my resume!

Jesus H. Christ.

Actually I made it all up. Sorry about the confusion.

I just figured they may as well give fancy names to everything. It's not just in Lambda Chi or in fraternities in general. You never see any "janitors" anymore... they're "custodial engineers". Ever called someone on a plane a "stewardess"? They'll look at you as if you just insulted their children. It's "flight attendant". Even waiters/waitresses are now "servers".

Oh, and funny that you mentioned garbage carriers. One of my biggest customers is El Paso Disposal and they're called "Waste Disposal Technicians" or something like that.

Remember, no one is "short"... they're "vertically challenged"!

Wow, you sure got me.

The sad part is that it was plausible enough that I fell for it. I could actually see something like that happening.

We just had elections, so I guess I'm a Senior Member Mediator! Sounds like what I'm doing anyway, lol!