Dilemma
 

I am a new member of my sorority, getting initiated very soon! The older sisters have been very sweet and helpful and there has been no hazing whatsoever.

Another sorority on our campus is hosting a philanthropic event that is a sort of talent show, where the new members from each sorority on campus performs a dance on stage. (Think cute, not sexy).

I am not required to participate in this, because that is hazing. However, we are "strongly encouraged" to do so. I am willing to do what I can to help out with all philanthropies and to uphold our image on campus. I am very shy and I am not at all comfortable with the idea of performing on a stage in front of all of the other sororities and fraternities.

The sister in charge of the dance our new members will perform is one of my best friends in the sorority. She is so enthusiastic about our sorority and I am afraid of hurting her feelings by not participating. I am also afraid that many other girls in our pledge class will choose to not participate either.

I want to maintain a positive image of us on campus, but there is just no way I am comfortable with doing this.

Any advice?

I am a recently initiated member (Fall '08) and it was recommended that we do things but that didn't necessarily mean performing in them. We were never required to do anything that we weren't comfortable with. I feel that the actives in your sorority and your new member sisters will think just as highly of you if they see you cheering in the crowd and just being there for support. And on another note, quite personally, I would have even more respect for you for stepping up and saying that you're not comfortable with something instead of doing it just because you think you have to!

Offer to help your organization out by managing/making costumes or props for the event. This way you still have the opportunity to participate and feel as though you are helping to pull the weight. My chapter strongly encourages the new member class to perform in the homecoming parade but would never require it of anyone, especially if they are willing to help in some other way.

I know when we have stuff like that we always need help with props or costumes so offer to do something like that if you want or just go and support your sisters. I'm sure they'll appreciate seeing a friendly face in the audience :)

Bring some goodies to the practices for the event, show up and cheer them on, help with props. There are PLENTY of ways to help without being on stage, and I don't think anyone is going to hold it against you if you want to find alternative ways to help out.