In this thread, we make up lies about what McCain or Obama has done to harm us
 

The rules:

1) Make up some vicious lie or fanciful story about the harm that Barack Obama/John McCain has done to you, your families, your pets, your communities, etc.

2) You MUST alternate between Obama and McCain -- if I post a horrible Obama story, you must post a horrible McCain story. And so on, and so forth.

3) You don't have to bash the opposing candidate -- it will be funnerer to bash your own.


*****

Barack Obama destroyed all the phonics books in my elementary school, and now a whole generation of students can't read!!!!

McCain told my 5-year old God daughter that there's no Santa Clause.

Obama let his shopping cart slam into my car.

John McCain paid my way through college, but he molested me. :(

(Joke borrowed from Chris Rock)

Obama barbeques babies.

You know all those cracks about McCain being the old crabby neighbor that yells "Hey you kids, get off my lawn!"? Well, it's true. I saw him do it. TWICE.

I had an affair with McCain when I was a page, and we have a love child. I'm not only going after him for child support, I'm going after one of his houses.

I met Obama at a rally and he made a pass at me. I think he said something about a possible intern position!

McCain falsely reported me to the DC Public Library for failure to pay fines!

McCain told me that I was adopted.

Obama got rid of the gifted programs at all the schools.

McCain stole my Cosmo out of my mailbox.

Obama is a GC sockpuppet

McCain eats Gooey Buns and wants to declare it a national delicacy.

Obama fed my dog a box of baker's chocolate.