graduate sorority question
 

for the last two years i have attended many events for membership in a certain graduate level sorority. i will attend events make contacts and then nothing. recently i was sent an invite for yet another fundraiser from a member of the chapter and i am unsure of whether or not i sholud continue to buy tickets to these events if nothing ever becomes of these meetings but an occ email or phone call. I do not know any member fully, but it seems as if grad chapters are more into getting funds than adding quality members. any advice?

Find the sorority's forum and post this question there.

These kinds of comments are unfortunate and they reveal much about the poster's character and mentality.

I don't understand how you can have attended "many events" and not yet "know any member" well. Without knowing anything more than you have posted, I would suggest connecting with the members on some level beyond "attending". Participating and having converstations is a great way to start. How can you expect to be invited to be a member of any organization that requires a membership process, if no one knows you?

It's up to YOU to try to get to know people in this situation, not the other way around.

Lastly, if I am correct, this post should be in a different forum. I only replied bc it's in a general forum.

If she thinks she can buy her way into membership by attending these events, more power to her.

What if the OP really has been making an honest effort to get to know these women but they aren't reciprocating? She can't make anyone be friendly in return or like her, and if she pushes too much that would work against her. At what point should someone in her situation cut their losses and walk away?

Just curious to know, if you don't mind enlightening me. :)

Well if she keeps paying to go to events to no avail, maybe she should stop paying to go. She may be partially to blame, but I wonder if the chapter is using her because they know she will pay to attend.

I think you should step back and reassess things. If after two years of pursuing this sorority you're not getting anywhere at all... then I think you know what that means, but just don't want to see it as you're emotionally and (to an extent) financially invested in this group. If AI is by invitation only, and after two years you haven't received an invitation, then IMHO the proverbial handwriting is on the wall, and probably has been for a long time. You need to read it, hon. As painful as it is, it is what it is. I'm sorry you haven't had the result you wanted. :(

Unfortunately, you wanting them is not enough to make them want you back. I'd advise you to retain your remaining dignity and self-esteem and stop pursuing them. If you really want to be a member of a sorority, turn your attention to another group that won't make you jump through hoops at all, or certainly not for years.

ETA: I don't know if the following applies to the OP, but very generally speaking...

In some sororities, AI is by invitation only (no application process) and "discretion" is mandated. The only acceptable way a woman can show her interest is by attending events the sorority sponsors, and trying to get to know current graduate members in the hopes of them liking her enough to extend her an invitation to join. Sometimes these events require the purchase of a ticket to attend.

The way it's set up, it looks like an interested woman is trying to buy her way into membership, but the reality is buying an event ticket and "mingling" to make contacts is the only acceptable way that woman can show her interest at this level. AI hopefuls, who don't already have contacts, have no other choice but to do it this way.

That's not what the OP said.

I wasn't responding to the OP. I was responding to OTW's comment that the OP was trying to buy her way into membership of the org she's interested in. I don't know (and wouldn't comment specifically even if I did because I'm not a member) which sorority the OP was talking about. That's why I wrote "some sororities" in my reply to OTW.

I went back and made it clear I was giving general info and not assuming anything on the OP's part. That should quell any potential for misunderstanding my post.

I don't think we should be throwing around the term "AI" for NPHC membership (which is obviously what the OP is pursuing) as it, well, really is not the same thing as AI as being discussed on here. It is graduate chapter intake.

Gee Whiz
 

It's still the same thing, and I'm not going to split hairs because the OP didn't say for sure what she was pursuing so nobody really knows (ahem). She posted in the AI thread, so I'm following her lead. It's not as deep as you're making it.

Actually, yes, it is. AI into an NPC chapter and graduate chapter intake into an NPHC chapter are NOT the same thing.