Advice, please!
 

I went through formal fall recruitment at my school this year. The amount of PNM was >700, a HUGE number of people. I did not get asked back to any of my favorite sororities, and I am not really upset with them, because I know that even if they liked me I might not have stood out as much as I could have...do you think it is better for me to go through Spring Recruitment instead of Fall? I know not all chapters do spring, but I cant help but think that with a smaller number of girls, I will have a better chance of getting into a sorority that I like better than the three who asked me back. I really want tthe community and volunteering aspects, and I am a little upset I couldnt do it this time. please gave any advice you might have..thanks so much!

How far did you get in fall recruitment? If you didn't give the other groups a chance, sit back and think about what you really want in a sorority experience. Is it really about sisterhood and the "community and volunteering aspects" or is it more about being in the group that you perceive as "cool?" EVERY chapter offers community and volunteering aspects. Spring Recruitment is probably a good idea, but if you go in specifically to be in one chapter and don't give the others a chance, be prepared to not have a good recruitment. You would be automatically cutting your chances from day one.

I am actually in the midst of second rounds (i have a break right now!) but I only got 3 back, the 3 that I have cut every time but have still got invited back to. I am really not interested in them, not just because they arent "cool", but becasue I feel very awkward talking to them and being with them. I want to go into srping recruitment just to try to get another chance with a smaller group of people.

how about continue a while longer with this recruitment? by doing so, you would have given yourself every chance to find a home this fall. folks opinions of certain sororities have changed 180 degrees during the recruitment process. your's might too.

i know a girl who rushed this fall-she had her sights set on certain houses. trust me when i say that she would not have been happy with any of them, had they chosen to give her a bid-she just would not have fit in. those sororities saw that, and they did not invite her back. now the unfortunate thing is that, some of the sororities that she liked and probably would have fit in perfectly with, she dropped, because she thought things were going well with her top choices. she ended up with no bid. now that she has seen members out and about, she realizes that as hard as it is to take, the sororities knew what they were doing and she realizes that she would have been miserable as a member of her former top choices. she now wishes that she had given one more chance to some of ones that had shown a real interest in her, and that she liked, but did not L O V E. who knows what might have been?

If you do stay in recruitment, if you are still not feeling the love after prefs, then don't sign a bid card. you do not have to fill out the bid card-you can drop out. by not signing a bid card, you would be eligible for spring recruitment.

Exactly. You are *currently* in recruitment right now!! You may as well stay the course and see how it turns out!

.....Kelly :)

Stay in recruitment and give yourself more time to get to know these three organizations. They obviously see something special in you and want to get to know you better so please extend them the same courtsey. You can make the decision to not accept a bid or depledge prior to initiation at a later date.

It also bears being said that depending on your campus, many groups may not participate in spring informal recruitment. Often more popular or "desirable" groups are at total and have no need to participate in informal recruitment - it is the smaller groups that do.

Furthermore, your assumption that a smaller group of women going through informal recruitment means it will be less competitive is wrong. In formal recruitment, they take the number of active PNMs on preference night and divide it by the number of sororities - in theory, ensuring a home for everyone who makes it through to pref night (it doesn't always happen that way because many women suicide on their bid cards, and there is always the possibly of a genuine mismatch, although many campuses are taking efforts to reduce mismatches). Whereas in informal recruitment, each group will only have a limited number of spots available, the number that it will take them to get up to total. So in reality informal recruitment could be far MORE competitive.

Thus the best advice is what everyone has already said: stick it out in formal recruitment as far as you can and see if your feelings change.

I guarantee that after two days you do not know everything you need to know about these chapters. I know it is disappointing to be rejected, but you have an opportunity to get to know chapters that want to get to know you. Go back to any chapter that invites you back next round and try to look at them with new eyes. Feeling "awkward" talking to people at recruitment is not that unusual......it's an awkward situation for many people. Despite the popular opinion, you don't have to "fall in love" with a chapter to have a wonderful sorority experience. There have been many women who LOVED their sorority during recruitment who were really disappointed when the got in because what they saw in recruitment wasn't really what the chapter was like.

Hairbrush390, I've got a mission for you. For third round, do everything in your power to get each sister (with whom you speak) to laugh. Tell your rusher exactly what you looked like on your last "bad hair day". Tell her about the time that you left a stick of butter out to defrost, and when you came home you discovered that the family dog ate the entire stick of butter AND the wrapper. Tell her about the time that you started an oven fire, causing the entire street to be lined with fire trucks, and about the group of big, burly, fully-outfitted firemen who were in your kitchen staring at two completely charred, itty-bitty little lamb chops (and who were telling you that you did the right thing in calling them, LOL!) MAKE THAT GIRL LAUGH! I bet you can do it!

The ability to make people laugh is a great social skill. It just might shake things up enough for you to see if these girls can be your friends and sisters.

Good luck to you!

I love this idea! Make sure not to come off as odd, but try and have fun! After all, if (as of this moment) you're planning on dropping out anyways, what do you have to lose?

Give it a chance
 

hairbrush390- Like the others, I will encourage you to stay in the process! You do not have to sign a card at the end of pref round, but if you stay in, you may find that you WANT to! Give it a shot, what have you got to lose? The chapters that invited you back want to know you better, isn't that a good thing???

I have news for you - the three chapters that keep inviting you back are most likely the same chapters that will be COBing in the spring. So, your result will probably be the same either way.

Very true! If you are holding out for one of the houses that has already released you, you may be diappointed if you find they are not participating in COB.

Make an educated, well informed decision about COB choices before dropping out of formal recruitment.

If any!