Bid Advice
 

Hi there,

First I just want to say how amazing this site is! Such a great idea.. it's especially great for someone (like me) who knew NOTHING about the greek system beforehand.

I have a question that may seem a little strange. I just completed PSR at my school and ended up receiving a bid to my top choice house after pref. night. Sounds wonderful, right? Except I realized after I had made a big mistake and unfortunately, my heart lies in my second choice house after pref. I have tried to wrap my head around this, and actively participate in my current house, however am just not happy.

My question is: From experience, do you think I should just wait it out until initiation and see if I warm up to the house? Or do you think I should reject my bid now and wait until next year (unfortunately) to go through recruitment again and cross my fingers that the house I rejected this year will want me next year. Or is that too risky?

Thank you soo much for any advice you can give me... I've really been struggling with this!:)

Give it a few more weeks (especially if you JUST finished PSR). It doesn't matter if you quit now or quit in 4 weeks (as long as you quit before initiation) as far as being able to rush again is concerned. But if you do depledge, do it with the thought of "I cannot be comfortable being a sister of XYZ" not "I'm quitting so I can be a sister of ABC next year."

If XYZ were your first choice at the end of rush, there should be SOMETHING in them you can find appealing. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

I'd stick it out at least till Initiation. You're going to have to wait a year anyway if you depledge, and you already know that there's a possibility your second choice won't give you a bid next year. Heck, there's a possibility that you won't get ANY bid next year.

A lot can change between now and Initiation. It's up to you to give your chapter a chance.

Unless you are being hazed, I find it hard to believe that you can't feel comfortable in your first choice chapter if you try. You had to have seen something you liked to rank them first. Dive in and really make an effort to find your niche in the chapter and if you really aren't happy, drop out before initiation. Just make sure that if you depledge, you're doing so because you don't want to be in this chapter, not because you're still wishing you were in the other one.

I had similar feelings at the beginning of my new member period because I didn't really get along with my pledge class. I didn't drink when I was a new member and my pledge class was really into drinking, so I naturally felt left out, but I wasn't willing to drink just to fit in. I kept thinking maybe I should have put my second choice first, that I wouldn't feel this way if I was in XYZ. However, I bonded with a number of older sisters, including my big, and those "grass is greener" feelings just melted away.

Thanks for your advice! :)

Definitely helps to hear from others!