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As a northern example, though, my mom never sent a legacy introduction to her chapter. She just didn't know that she needed to do that. I had written in my recruitment registration form, so the chapter would know, right? Obviously, PNM's should listen to SEC-familiar alumnae who tell them to get recs, but I could pretty easily imagine one of them being told "Oh, I've never heard of that, XYZ must not do it." |
I'm surprised there isn't a guidebook or something published by the NPC or individual orgs. There aren't even that many self-published things on Amazon.
Some people will only take advice they get from "official" sources, like school panhellenic websites, and even then will tend to believe what they want. I think part of it is that we live in an age when people have a tendency to not believe information they can't verify from a written or official source. With the resources and women we have on this site, you all could publish a yearly guide to recruitment. Then point the OCPNMs in the direction of some written gospel and then get out of their way. Proceeds to go to GreekChat, of course. |
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What upsets me is that having a rec is a requirement of membership. Why are chapters ignoring this? This is a case of having it set out in front of you on paper, and maintaining willful ignorance. I do sympathize with PNMs and moms who don't make the effort. It IS a lot of work, and for introverts like me, very much getting out of the comfort zone to go out and talk to women and ask. It's already hard enough to prepare for going off to college. If you can make things simpler, I'd go for that. |
To be clear, it is a requirement of membership for DG, and some others. It is not a requirement for membership in Alpha Xi Delta and some others. Because we aren't very well represented in many of those super competitive absolutely must have a rec schools, I don't know if our policies would vary there. But I would still say that a girl going through rush at one of those schools who doesn't have a rec would turn me cold, for the reasons mentioned above unless she's from Alaska or somewhere getting a rec might be an actual difficulty. You should AT LEAST be able to come up with the generic panhellenic rec.
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There's a DG chapter at IUP and there is absolutely NWIH that every girl who gets a bid there has a rec - that is, a rec that the rushee went out and solicited. |
I'll pop in again to tell you about one sorority where my d can't find a rec. She's gotten at least one for the rest. So she went to our regional panhellenic website which clearly stated - if you are looking for a rec go to the national site. She went to the national site and found some email addresses and asked for help - she was emailed back to go to the local panhellenic. She's sent out at least 5 different emails and no one will point her to the correct person or place and no one even responds to her - at the national or local level. We decided this particular one just may not be found. She'll keep trying, but she accepts this house may just be knocked off her list after the first night.
I suggest you go look to your national organization websites and pretend you don't know anything about it. Is the information easy to find? |
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Is it on the web site? Yes: "Are Sponsor Forms required for pledging Delta Gamma? Yes, being endorsed by a member of Delta Gamma is required for pledging and a Delta Gamma Sponsor Form is the preferred form." |
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Once daughter makes original post, I personally** think that it is okay for you to the share the post with your group of friends. That covers a lot more ground, and the reason her post needs to be set to "friends of friends." I have actually seen mom/daughter combos find 12/12 recs this way in less than one hour. I'm not a huge fan of starting out in this manner, but I do think it can be a great way to find those last couple. **others may disagree with me on mom sharing the post, but I think if daughter makes the post, and the daughter personally contacts whomever responds, that she has demonstrated appropriate involvement and initiative. |
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Forty years ago at a northern, non-Greek-heavy, technical school, we just wrote the recs ourselves for the women we planned to bid if we didn't have an alumna handy to write one. From what I've read here, that may not be permissible any more (I see lots of you saying a collegiate at another chapter may write one for some orgs). I didn't know spit about rush at big southern schools when DD went to UTexas. I'm so pleased she chose not to rush; I could not have prepared her. Though I was involved in my alumnae chapter, I presume no one mentioned it to me because they figured I knew ... |
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In fact, DG is one of the best at publicizing this policy; as I recall, they were the first organization on my campus to publicize it as such. But it's still hard when people get a "WTF is a rec?" from an alumna outside of the south. It would really be nice if national groups both publicized their policies to PNM's AND did a better job of explaining it to alumnae. |
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Overall - we need to be better educating our members about the necessity of recs and how to correctly do them for your organization. I think part of the problem is that are usually processed by a committee or a couple of individuals, and most members don't see or hear about them except as a brief mention when you're going over the PNM list. But if they're just a check-off item for your org and you don't read or use them, change your policies and procedures to eliminate them. |
I'm not saying anything to my daughter, but I'm a little worried about some of these rec writers. If they don't get the importance of this, it may not be the best effort. The one she's missing only took in two out of staters last year - so I'm thinking this is not worth having a heart attack over. And funny enough, it's the one with the most elusive website and contact info.
Trust me, she told me she's starting to feel like a stalker now. So how does she go back and ask them if they sent them in without looking like a micro manager? |
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