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I believe that 2 is better than 1. |
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I would if I knew the details (not that I'm asking for any). I'm trying to be mean or anything, but if she was wearing Tri Delta letters without being a member it would make me upset. Even after she has been told by people that this is not appropriate and about how the whole recruitment process works, she continues to "perp." I really don't have tolerance for that.
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I'll PM you.
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I think that I said this before, but on one of my daughter's future college facebook groups, one girl actually posted all the stereotypes of the sororities (as told to her by her boyfriend or brother or something). They have another group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". I am thinking "shut up or you'll be GDI". And then there are the Facebook photos open for all the world (or anybody in your network) to see. For pete's sake, you don't have to take 60 pictures and post ALL of them everytime you get into a car or go to a party with your friends. I think that so many kids just always get everything they want that they can't imagine that they wouldn't be the one doing the choosing.
My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like. One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite. |
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Alot of PNMs think that recruitment is "choosing a sorority." It's not. I think there'd be fewer overconfident (and subsequently disappointed) girls in recruitment if they truly understood how recruitment worked. |
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Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"? |
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Ugh, when I went to orientation this summer, there was this girl who just did not know when to shut up. She came over to us when we were eating lunch, introduced herself, and then asked us if we were going to rush (almost every incoming freshman girl is I think). It should have stopped there, but no it didn't. She then preceeded to tell us EVERY stereotype about every sorority on campus and then told us she was only going to accept a bid from ABC and DEF because they were the best and had mixers with the best fraternaties. We seriously just sat there staring at her in disbelief in an awkward. Did she seriously just say that? I really didn't want to hear the stereotypes before I went into recruitment. I'm like still pissed at her for saying that.
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Here's a little story from my last recruitment about how things like Facebook & MySpace can affect recruitment: There was a girl who publicly posted a MySpace blog about Sorority Info Night (pre rush event) in which she said she would "only join AB because they're the only one worth being in" and "the other 6 are loser ones." When she met her Rho Chi, they became MySpace friends. The PX called her a few days before recruitment because she had seen this blog and she wanted to tell her that she should take it down or make it private because it could affect her recruitment if a sorority member saw it. She ignored her and kept it up anyway, figuring the PX was just exaggerating. She visited all sororities on the first day of recruitment like everyone else. She told her PX that the blog didn't matter because "she was dropping everybody but AB the next day." Sometime between Sorority Info Night and the end of day 1, a sorority member did see it and we all know how small the sorority world is. Word travels fast and we all had seen it before long. Well, the next day she shows up for Philanthropy Party (day 2) thinking she'd been invited back to all 7 like everyone else. Surprise! She was dropped by the 6 sororities she said were "for losers." She was stunned. She told her PX that "SHE was supposed to be cutting THEM." Her PX told her that she was still invited to one chapter, AB (the only one she said anything good about). So the girl was like "whatever, I only wanted to join AB anyway." Anyone using the new RFM knows that the biggest groups make the biggest cuts. She went to only AB that day, thinking everything was cool and she was going to get what she said in her blog that she wanted. Wrong! AB dropped her after that round and she was released from recruitment! So this arrogant girl who thought she was only good enough for one sorority, ended up getting released by everyone after 2nd round. She was very upset, but her Rho Chi told her that she shouldn't have been so public with her opinions and should've been more open minded. She was so upset that she transfered to a new school after one semester. Moral of the story: Be cautious of what you put out there, because you could ruin recruitment for yourself. Once you put things like this out there, it's public knowledge and you never know who could see it. You also never know who could tell someone else about it. |
Okay, everybody hold hands and repeat.....
DISCRETION IS THE KEY...DISCRETION IS THE KEY.....DISCRETION IS THE KEY. If you don't know what that means, then how about...SHUT YOUR MOUTH! :D |
Regarding stupid things posted on the internet: I remember a girl who one year posted all of her rankings and reasons for them on an online journal. It's amazing how fast word can spread between houses when something like that gets found, and NOBODY wants a girl who says rude things about specific houses in a public forum because it's just bad form.
I mean, I guess I can sympathize with the girls who don't know better than to say who their favorites are because maybe no one ever taught them the motto NUBlue&Blue just posted above... but the ones who can't shut up with the negative stuff about the other houses? That's not something they should have to be told not to do. |
Sometimes I wish I could find dirt like that regarding the chapters at my school.
Why? Because it would be just so darn amusing to see how misled the online poster is. Then the rational side of me hopes I never will find such comments. At least I know how to tell the difference between truth and fiction, a PNM who finds the same content may not be able to do so. I just find it silly that people would shoot themselves in the foot like that, but in the process, potentially affect others' views. I'm doing a lot of stuff with orientation at my school and I've had to knock some girls down to earth already, then remind them that they never know who is listening. |
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Yeah, you'd think that - I mean every female who has the GPA and isn't Greek - including women who are graduating in 3 weeks - is a "potential new member." However, I think that including the word "member" in any context gives some women the wrong impression. I don't like calling uninitiated women/pledges new members either, but that is another thread.
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Sorry, I just re-read that and realized most of my sentences are awful! :) Thats what happens when I just start typing!
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I agree that the official word is often wildly optimistic and that offices of Greek Life and sometimes recruitment counselors can do damage because they spread the word about what should happened in the perfect world, not what will realistically happen to a particular girl in recruitment.
Even reporting 98% placement is somewhat deceptive unless you point out that it's 98% placement for girls who are willing to join whatever groups want them when the whole shebang is over. I don't think the schools that discuss placement rates even mention the often high number of girls who drop out because they didn't like their results. And at schools like UGA, it's a pretty big number. |
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GOOD ARGUMENT MEE TOO DITTO """""""""""""""" |
Hopefully they (entering freshman) will attend some summer orientation at their college where they will see that everyone is pretty, smart, a high school athlete for several sports, was in student government and sang in the choir. I know my daughter was shocked when she came home from the camp saying most of the people were just like her. Some did more and some did less but everybody had done something. The orientation leaders were quick to point this out and say that's why you are at this school because you are smart and did something. Now find a friend in you class who was also a team captian and don't bring you letter jacket to school. (These are popular in Texas from band members to athletes)
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My personal pet peeve is the inevitable set of emails I get each summer that read something like this:
Dear Mrs. President of Panhellenic and all that Good stuff: I am going to be a freshman at University of I'm Too Good For Them that has 15 plus sororities, and I am planning to go through recruitment in the fall. I am hoping you can assist me with recommendations. I plan to rush at the following houses as they are my favorites: xyz, abc, def, and zzz. Please send recs for those houses. Thanks so much. Love and stuff, Penelope PNM. This means I have to go through my little spiel about how we as an APH do not send recs selectively, that our reps will send recs to each house on her campus for which we have delegates, that she needs to keep an open mind and give every house a chance as joining a sorority is a great honor and each one of them can offer her an amazing experience. Then I go into my explanation (short but honest) about how every year, the girls who don't heed this advice run into difficulties, when they realize too late in the game that selectivity is better left to the houses, and that the PNM should really have given each house a better chance. There's always the story about the double legacy who thought she knew better and ended up with no bid. That part I usually leave out. It's a constant education, isn't it? :p |
yes it is-and one that many don't heed.
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I swear, btwn GC & stories like this, sometimes I think every other girl going through rush these days is Veruca Salt. And a stupid Veruca Salt, at that. |
I typically get these "my fave houses" requests from girls on deferred recruitment campuses. Indiana U. is one of these campuses. The girls attend a few informal events in the fall, shop around, and think they know what's what. I have to constantly remind them that IU is an extremely competitive Greek system with too many going through and not enough spots for everyone. AND that the houses there are all pretty strong and have something to offer.
OR, they are from a family with sorority women and they are overconfident. Two years ago, we had an unfortunate situation with a legacy of 2 NPC groups, who decided she was going to start "cutting" houses midway through recruitment at a large Greek campus. Problem is, she was in no way outstanding or particularly outgoing, and she was riding on legacy coattails which is why she had a few courtesy invites to those 2 houses, phase after phase. She figured she was a lock at one if not both of them. To her horror, she ended up with only one pref invitation to a house that was weak and that she did not want to join--the 2 houses she had legacy ties to released her prior to preference. She was sobbing and called our APH president to say she was dropping out. We convinced her to go to her final party and finish out the process. She was encouraged to attend because frankly, it was better than sitting home all night while everyone else was at Pref, and it was courteous to go back to the one house who had invited her. To her credit, she did attend. She dropped out thereafter, but she learned some important lessons. |
There should be an overconfident moms version as well
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plus i'd be just as wrong for telling a GDI to wear XYZ letters. Quote:
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speaking of which, i just got back from assisting my daughters chapter during their recruitment and heard of a mom who called panhellenic concerned that there had been a computer glitch since her daughter was only invited back to one house out of a possible 3. no, the glitch was that her daughter had blatantly let it be known that she was only interested in one specific sorority and the sororities all listened to her and all but one dropped her, AND her chosen sorority didn't invite her back. pnms, don't be this stupid.
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In terms of PNMs who are overconfident about getting into certain chapters:
If you think you're the best fit for ABC, chances are good that EVERY OTHER PNM in your group thinks the same thing, and logically, everyone cannot be "perfect for ABC." That's just how things work. Also, it doesn't matter if Ally ABC who lives on your dorm floor/is in your class/you met at a fraternity house says "you'd soooo be perfect for us" and "you're sooo in." Chances are good that alot of girls have a friend in ABC who said the SAME thing. |
When I went through, I remember this one PNM sitting next to me, and we were all leaving the house tour party, and she goes, "WELL! I was dropped from all the other houses, so I KNOW I am coming here, I can sleep well tonight! I dont have to worry about where my bid will be!" She said this while in ear shot of a few members of the house and their faces were priceless.
Needless to say, she didnt get a bid. |
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