eHarmony=eHotmess
 

What's the deal with eHarmony? I've heard so many negative things about it. One thing after another.

Some things I heard about it:
-They won't match you with the same sex.
-They won't match you with people of different races.
-Sometimes they won't match you with ANYONE, they find some people unfit for their dating service. :eek:

Sounds like a total hot mess to me too. But then again after all the founder is part of a major holy roller evangelical group called Focus on the Family.

Neil Clark Warren Bio

eharmony recently broke off from Focus though

I went to a wedding earlier this year where the couple met via eHarmony. She's white (Jewish), he's Korean.

I know very little about online dating, so this may be a silly question--aren't there more gay-friendly sites out there?

eHarmony is not gay friendly. At all.

They will, however, match you with people of another race.

The complaints I have heard is that after the first few weeks the matches slow to a trickle or they start matching you with people from hundreds of miles away (even if you say you only want people in your immediate area).

It's also expensive--which may be a good way to weed people out that are too cheap or unwilling to pay the fee, and therefore may not be as serious about finding someone. I think that has more to do with eHarmony's success than than anything else...

I have a coworker who was rejected by eHarmony. I couldn't believe it, but apparently not all personality types fit into their little bubble.

Yeah, one of my friends was rejected too. He's a really nice, awesome guy--he just wasn't eHarmonious. LOL.

Alright, that is even weirder. I have a friend who is a black male, and eHarmony told him that they strongly recommend that he pursues someone of the same race, if he wants any dating success. :eek: So, do they think that only certain people are suitable for interracial relationships? :confused:

As for gay friendly sites. There are tons of them for gay guys, but not gay women. If you're a gay woman, you're just stuck with match and okaycupid. Personally, I was not impressed, I'll just stick to Novak's. But, for the people who don't like bars or whatever, it must suck for them if they have trouble finding mainstream online dating services that will serve their preferences.

The founder is a Pepperdine alum, so several years ago, when they started advertising, I tried out eHarmony. The guys I was matched with were all way more conservative than me and I didn't feel like we had much in common even on paper. They didn't seem like matches at all. But eHarmony works differently than Match.com and other online places...it works in phases and there's no search tool or anything like that. It's not appropriate for someone (like me) who knows exactly what they want/need in a partner. Anyway, I tried it for a free month, then abandoned it.

I don't think it was ever attached to Focus on the Family; I think they just promoted the service on Focus on the Family, among other mediums. Look at the marketing - it's all focused on marriage, not dating or hooking up. So it is values based...that is, it's supposed to match people up according to which traits they have that supposedly are the rock of a marriage, and it keeps apart people that might have conflicting values that would cause a rocky marriage. For some that might be religion, others education, others race. The founder has said that the reason for excluding same-sex matches is because the research it uses to base its pairings on does not have findings for same-sex couples...because same-sex couples can't get married (or at least they couldn't at the time the company was founded).

ETA: my bf and I DID meet online, though. It's very normal here in Seattle. In fact, it used to be that when I went out to a bar with friends, I'd see guys I recognized, but I couldn't figure out from where. Then I realized that I had seen their profile on match.com.

A former coworker was of one race and was matched through eHarmony to a person of a different race. They both considered themselves "saved" Christian Protestants and did get married. They were divorced within 2 years. :(

eHarmony almost sounds more like an old-fashioned matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match type thing. Which is their prerogative. I think the ire and confusion comes when it's marketed as being like Yahoo Personals or any other online dating service. It seems like they've finally learned and are promoting it as they should have to begin with.

I tried eHarmony once upon a time and I was rejected. The message said something to the effect of "Out of our ---- million users, we could not find a suitable match for your personality type. Please fill out the questionnaire again in 6 months." I had never had a date before so that hurt my feelings a little bit (though I got asked out soon afterward and had a perfectly pleasant time :D). I also did chemistry.com on a dare once. It's supposed to be much better than eHarmony, but out of my 5 free matches, there were 4 white men who specifically said they would not date African American women. Why the heck the site matched me with them, I'll never know.....

My BFF just got engaged to her boyfriend, whom she met on plentyoffish.com. I'm sure they allow matching between whomever plus it's free.

If you don't like Eharmony remember they aren't the only game in town.

I also know a couple who met on plentyoffish.com and they are doing great :) It seems to be a pretty successful site so far

This is an interesting topic. I tried eharmony once. I was separated at the time, and they told me to come back in 6 months. I was going through a divorce. I was only married for barely a year so I thought it was a little harsh to reject me because I was separated.

I have tried eHarmony once, and there was no problem with matching me with men of other races. I never knew other people had a problem.

eHarmony has a strict policy of not allowing users who are not legally single to have accounts. You have to be unmarried. Separated doesn't count. Which I can kind of understand, but still. My husband and I met on match. It worked well for about the first 3 years. Now we're separated and going through a divorce as soon as I can get the paperwork filed. I won't be trying to find a date on eHarmony, though. That's for certain. :)

I think I tried eharmony. I didn't do so well on there either. My boyfriend met his ex on match.com so online dating didn't work for him either. He and I met through Great Expectations a large dating service that is online but also you have to go to a local office and etc so I at least had comfort that my boyfriend wasn't anyone other than who he said he was and that someone at some point had actually seen him. Great Expectation costs an arm and a leg though.

I tried eharmony, but didn't like it. I was matched with a lot of people from Minnesota and North Dakota, which would be fine, but I live in Illinois and specifically said I didn't want to travel. Interestingly enough, my husband was on eharmony at the same time I was, but we weren't matched. We met on yahoo personals.

I'm also friends with a couple that met on plentyoffish.com and have been together for 2 years.

lol my God, how many dating sites are there? Maybe I need to look into starting one, sounds like a lucrative business.

I think that's a little strict. I could see if a couple hadn't been separated long, but my ex wife and I had been apart for a while. Sorry to hear about your divorce. Online dating has gotten popular and I'm sure more people meet online these days because of the busy lifestyles people are living. It doesn't matter if you meet someone online or the traditional way of dating, if you meet/marry the wrong person, it won't work either way. I'm just saying this because you'd be surprised, a lot of people think it's crazy to get serious, let alone marry someone who you met online. I personally don't think anything is wrong with it. People are people, regardless.

After a good friend of mine from highschool met his woman on plentyoffish.com, I tried it. I don't know if it's my area, or the age range I'm looking at or what, but every response I got was from a bottom feeder. All those laid off autoworkers who call themselves "retired" because they took a buy out package and haven't found another job yet, especially.

I filled out the eharmony profile and did the three month free trial. When I did the profile, it popped back saying they have no matches for me. That continued until about 2 days before I had to pay if I wanted to continue and then a match popped up. Amazing timing. When it first popped out the "we have no matches for you" I laughed hysterically because I often say that my ideal man does not exist. It was like proof!

Then there was match.com, where the first match that came up was my ex-husband. Yeah, on paper, we're perfect for each other. Reality is another story!

I wouldn't personally be looking for someone who's not quite legally divorced, so it doesn't matter much to me whether they let them sign up or not. I do understand their reasoning, though. :)

Re: my divorce- We are better friends than we are marriage partners. Neither of us is really built for a long-term committed relationship with a title. We knew it was a gamble going into it, and it didn't work. I just wish that if both sides recognize it was a mistake and aren't trying to take each other to the cleaners, that our divorce could be done at like, a drive-through or something. ;)

In a nutshell, eharmony sucks rotten eggs. The matches they sent me were, ummm to put it nicely, not physically attractive which I stated I that wanted nice looking guys. When I wrote them to discuss the matter, they gave me some lame excuse about matching people based on personality which I agree with to a degree but I argued that humans are physically attracted to each other first. Also, the matches were too far away and personality wise didn't match what I was looking for.

When I found out they didn't match same sex couples and I found out some of my gay friends had been rejected because they were gay, I canceled my account.

Apparently eHarmony is launching a site to match same-sex couples..

http://www.azcentral.com/business/co...yGays1119.html

I've tried match.com, which was okay. I met my ex through that and that relationship, well to put it nicely didn't end very pleasantly (he was incredibly awful to me).

My biggest "pet-peeve" with eharmony is that I want kids, there is no if, ands, or buts about it. So I find it really annoying when I get matched with men who say "maybe" on the kids issue. Maybe isn't good enough for me. I know that sounds shallow but I have seen way to many marriages go bust because 1 person wanted kids and the other spouse didn't. Honestly, that is how I weed through my crazy amount of matches if they say "maybe" to kids I just close the match. IDK in my opinion, you either want kids or you don't want kids, there shouldn't be a "maybe".

I find eharmony just like match.com, you may "match up" perfect on paper but meeting in person is another issue entirely.

Only as part of a settlement to avoid a lengthy civil rights trial in New Jersey.

That could be in the article, but I felt it was important enough that it should be in the post.

eHarmony isn't doing it because they want to or think they should, they feel forced to do so.

I read a friend's note on Facebook who had posted a site for CHRISTIAN Gay Matchmaking. He (being gay) had said something to the effect of "Are you going to condemn me before we have sex, or are you just going to lie crying in the fetal position afterwards because of your blasphemy."

Either way, I'm a little "meh" about a Christian Gay dating site.

Plentyoffish.com is actually a good site imoa and it's completely free. I've met a few cool girls, and I'm sure eventually I would find the right girl for me.

Thats what you should call it "Lucrative Business" lol

I had the same experience - EHarmony sucks donkeys.

I'm tempted to do it as a social science experiment. I couldn't meet anyone worse than who I've met randomly. Sad thing is the last decent guy I dated (no BS, no lying, we still talk) I met in a BAR, and the guys I meet elsewhere are awful.

I've known a few couples that met through EH with mixed results. One ended up getting married. Some folks just don't have time to engage in extracurricular activities where they'd meet other people.

eHarmony's rejected millions of people. It sounds like you have to be some kind of socially retarded leper to get rejected, but it's actually somewhat common. Dating sites in general are only effective if you live in a big city, imo.

Eharmony
 

There's nothing better than playing the game the old fashioned way and meeting people on your own. I realize that it's difficult for career oriented folks but if you want it you can find the time.

Bumping the thread to serve as a reminder as why not to use this service. The man I was matched with and dated turned out he had lied on his profile about alot of things (education, family, I could go on). I dumped him and he still won't leave me alone. Today he showed up on my doorstep unannounced.
Avoid eharmony.

Sounds like he's on the road to a restraining order.

homophobic much?

i'm stealing your siggy though.

Creepy! Be careful, wrigley.