Didn't Get Picked
 

I rushed for the first and I'm thinking the only time and only got one bid from a sorority I didn't connect with. I did connect with the other girls in the other sororities. I was wondering what girls actually look for during recruitment. I've always been a guys kind of girl but don't dress like one and am very sociable and motivated. Am I just a freak or does this just happen?

The group with whom you felt you didn't connect with obviously saw something in you that the other groups did not. I am sorry you did not give them a chance. Whether or not this is your only chance depends on many things - your campus, your grades, your age, etc. No one here can tell you. No, odds are you are not a freak.

well i did give them a chance... they just removed their bid because we didnt have a connection. i'm just turned off from the experience now and i don't know if it's even worth it to rush again at the same school or a different school. being turned down from 7 sororities once is one thing but twice? i dont know if the embarrassment is worth it.

I agree with SWTX. The group that gave you a bid saw something in you that they liked. It's a bummer you didn't even give them a shot. No one can really tell you in detail what sororities are looking for besides the general stuff (good grades/etc) b/c membership selection is private.

What type of sorority are we talking about? If NPC, you can only get one bid, and they can't "remove" their bid. Something is not computing - please elaborate.

Also, let me point out that had you actually connected with the girls in other sororities - they would have had you higher on their bid list, and THEY would have given you a bid. Read recruitment stories - you'll see it does indeed happen.

They removed their bid? We need more info and explanation of what actually occurred.

I'm a guys type of girl, too, in fact I just moved 8 hours away from all of my friends, went to meet my boyfriend's friends (he moved out here a year before me), and he told me I would like his friends "because they're all guys!"

I did fine in my sorority and I love my sisters, you are not a freak. It does just happen.

If you're a freshman, or even a sophomore, try getting to know people on campus, especially sorority women, and give it another go around next year. If the cost for recruitment is low (I'd say $50 or less - my campus was free), you don't have much to lose.

ETA: Just saw the "removed their bid" thing - gonna need clarification on that one.

No you didn't. If you had, they would have given you a bid.

well at my campus you meet all seven sororities and then you pick your top five and they bid and its put into a computer to see which houses you will go to the next day (up to five). I picked five and only got one bid. after the day you visit their house again, they can choose to keep their bid on you or remove it. i went, and really tried to connect but they removed their bid after. i just dont know if its worth it at the same campus. i mean... i might be transferring schools after this year, keyword might. i just dont know if its worth seeing the same girls and trying to get the same girls to like me.

So they didn't bid you, they invited you. They didn't remove the invite, they just didn't invite you back.

yea i guess... i dont know they called them bids... im not very good at greek terminology. sorry.

If they called them bids, then THEY are "not very good at greek terminology."

A bid is an invitation to JOIN a chapter. Not an invitation to meet a chapter.

Exactly! What you experienced is no different than what many other pnm's experience. You started the process and your options became limited and your were finally released from Recruitment. (i.e. you did not receive any more invitations)

How competitive is your campus recruitment? Did you have recs?

i think we had recs but we called them rho gammas? i dont really know how competitive it is. when we went to orientation they said that 80% get into the sorority they want and atleast 10% of the 20 that dont just dropped from the recruitment process.

^^^Ok, you really should have paid closer attention during rush orientation or something. You landed in the 10-20%, as explained above, you just didn't continue to get invited back. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but greek life isn't for everyone. There are lots of other things to get involved in so you still have plenty of opportunity to make the most of your college experience. Good luck.

A "rec" is a recommendation from an alumna of a sorority. It is a paper form.

A rho gamma is a sorority member who assists you during the recruitment process.

I would not rush again at your school since you were dropped by all the sororities.

I am usually a lurker on here, but I felt that I needed to say something with this remark. There is no reason not to rush again if you truly feel like you would like to be in the Greek system. A lot of things could go differently the second time around (like meeting more Greeks, joining clubs, getting a really good GPA) that would help A LOT!

Don't just say that she should give up! Not all of us are as lucky as to not have to re-rush as a sophomore.

outoftheloop- I have been EXACTLY where you are, and trust me, it cannot hurt to re-rush...trust me.

a long time lurker that just registered today?

Why blow unnecessary sunshine up the OP's butt?

She was dropped by all the sororities. Greek life isn't for everyone.

yes...I never actually even registered until now because I don't usually have much to add that hasn't been said. but this one hit pretty close to home since I, too, went through as a freshmen, was dropped by every house before pref and then went through as a sophomore and got my top choice!

ps- i'm not telling what sorority i am affiliated with.

Uh, no one asked.

yeah. THIS is why i never post on here.

No one's telling you to post.

You, OTW, are not a nice person. I clicked on your link in your signature and I PRAY that one day your daughter doesn't get in a house. I will LOVE it.

Yeah it CAN hurt to re-rush, and the OP can trust me.

Good, now you can go back to being a "lurker."

Well aren't you quite the peach. Those are some pretty big stones you're tossing around in that glass house of yours.

Wow. Hypersensitive - party of one?

Beware, former lurker, the internets are mean.

What daughter?

At least you didn't pull an estherjb.

You really can go back to lurking now. I'm sure you won't be missed.

There are several stories in the Recruitment Stories forum (from this Fall Recruitment season) that confirms that.

Invitation to HPRL in 5...4...3...2...

IBTL. . . Popcorn anyone???

Do any of the following apply to you?

-low GPA
-junior/senior standing
-not having recommendations if most PNMs at your campus do
-unkempt appearance
-come off as very shy and/or awkward

While we won't be able to tell you why you were cut by every chapter (because we seriously don't know), if one or more of the above describe you, that might give you an idea.

Re-rushers at even the most competitive schools do get bids (and therefore invites;)) but the successful ones usually have several things in common:

1. A good GPA
2. Campus involvement/leadership
3. Friends in chapters
4. An open mind to ALL chapters
5. Recs if they are important at your campus
6. Polished appearance
7. Good conversation skills
8. A good fit with a chapter

If you can speculate and be honest with yourself as to what went wrong and you fix things to make yourself a better candidate, you may just have a shot.

As I recall, lilzetakitten actually re-rushed (successfully, obviously) after being cut from every chapter. Maybe she'll pipe in with her story or you can PM her?

I get the feeling, OP, that you were fairly unprepared going into recruitment. Your lack of knowledge of the terminology, particularly the term "rec" is a red flag.

Recruitment is like a job interview. You don't just walk in off the street and land a highly coveted position. The same can be true of recruitment. Can you shed some light on what your campus Greek life is like? Comment on Violetpretty's list above regarding what you think may have gone wrong, and we may be able to advise you better.

Some of the sororities may have informal recruitment activities this fall and spring. You can contact the Office of Student Activities/Office of Greek Life to find out.

I wouldn't suggest going through formal recruitment a second time if you were dropped so early in the process on the first go-round.

If you transfer, there's no harm in checking out formal recruitment at your new school. That being said, please don't transfer solely to rush or because you're embarrassed about being cut from recruitment at this current school.

Oh my God thank you, because I was going to say what you said so nicely, not as nicely because I just didn't know how else to say it.

:D

What she said. We obviously don't care....

Long time watcher, first time writer, blah blah blah blah...

Anyway, I would like to add my two cents from my experience. Sometimes people who were not suitable for Greek life when they were freshmen can become great members as sophomores. I know a girl on my campus who was dropped from every house her freshmen year, who became a member of one of the top houses her sophomore year (it helped that she had a lot of friends in that house). Similarly, my house has in the past taken sophomores who we were not considering the year before. Sometimes people need a year to figure out who they are, and/or grow up. I'm not saying that re-rushing will help (I know a LOT of sophomores who don't get placed), but I'm just saying, sometimes that year really helps.

Could be, but it depends on the campus. If she goes to school in the South, the majority of the PNMs probably do have recs at a school with 7 chapters and not having recs could have been a downfall. Other places, you can be pretty clueless, register the day before recruitment, and still end up happy.

And given this response - do you think YOU are a nice person?

Because from where I stand . . . wishing a bad experience on an innocent, and also hypothetical, person is NOT the action of a nice person. Where is that nice thread when you need it . . . .

Agreed...... It helps to have the things VioletPretty talked about in her post, and to do your homework on the sorority recruitment experience.....

I usually suggest COB....but not this time....

What is so special about this thread that is pulling the lurkers out of the woodwork?