"Dropping" a girlfriend with fraternity letters
 

What all is involved in "dropping" a girlfriend? I have been with my girlfriend for almost 10 months and would like to "drop" her. What do I have to do?

Maybe I don't understand your quiestion...but are you asking how to break up with her?

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"Only The Best Get Crowned"

No, he's talking about lavaliering his girlfriend. I don't know exactly how you would do it. It varies from one fraternity to another. Some have ceremonies while in others, you just randomly give the girl your letters. Maybe just ask one of your brothers what dropping her would involve.

I know that the same question was asked a while back. I'm not sure which main section it was under, but if you find it, it may help you a bit. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Well one of my good friends was dropped earlier this year. She had been with her boyfriend for less than a year, but he still decided to go through it. When she told me about it, she just said that he talked about how much he loved her and wanted to be with her the rest of his life and then he gave her his letters. There was no ceromony or anything. He is a TKE, so i dont really know if they hold ceromonies, or maybe it is his chapter. Well about maybe a couple of months ago, they go in to this HUGE fight and what ended up happening was that she threw his letters back at him and they broke up! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif I know this one had a bad ending to it, but if you are sure that you want to drop your girlfriend, then i wish you the best! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif I hope i was somewhat of a help to you

At my school when a soroity girl is dropped(for those of you who don't know what dropping means, it is when a frat. guy gives his girlfriend his letters to show to her she is the equivalent to his brothers) the guy does it in front of her entire chapter at a meeting with his brothers present and tells her how much he loves her and asks her to wear his letters, and all of the girls usually cry.

Lavaliering your girl is considered SERIOUS business for most fraternities. For Pike, it is considered to be equivilent to a pre-engagement type of thing, and is NOT something most guys would do for a girlfriend of 10 months. But like I said, it differs from group to group. For me, I lavaliered my girlfriend of THREE YEARS with a small ceremony that showed her what those letters meant to me.
When I was thinking of "dropping" her (I'd never heard that term before now, but I get it...you give her a charm of drop letters...cute) I asked my Big Brother about the proper way to do it and he clued me in to traditions and ways other guys had done it. For most sororities, when a girl is lavaliered, they hold a "candel light ceremony" for her, so that might be a way to go...you do it in front of her sisters and they ALL cry.
But BEWARE...some fraternities have a tradition of "treeing" Brothers who lavalier girls. Getting treed depends on your frat and sometimes how serious your Brothers think your relationship with your girl is, as well as how closely the members regard giving away your letters.

[This message has been edited by Pike4Life (edited December 07, 2000).]

Pike4Life - You may want to edit your post and remove the part of it that some people (long term members know who "all" I mean) could misconstrue as another ill of greek life. There is so much BS going on in some forums about hazing and stuff, that I just don't want to add fuel to the fire. No harm meant - just trying to prevent another thread from flaming http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Amye - Your description was good, but in my opinion, I wouldn't say its to show to her that she is the equivalent to his brothers. Its more of an outward token when both members are greek.

As far as what I've seen the ceremonies vary from simple and private to entire chapters. The best ones were when we'd have a candlelight and a girl wouldn't know it was for her. Then as the candle passed, when she was holding it, her little and big sister would lean over and blow it out. Then he would come in with the lavalier. Oh - I'm getting teary eyed thinking about those...how romantic! Wish my guy had been greek. Its a very serious thing and we also think of it as a pre-engagement deal.

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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"

Good point AXO Alum...I know how many people view all Greeks as a bunch of binge-drinking, membership hazing, bad-grade getting, promiscious idiots. Some traditions, even the most innocent, can be misconstrued as supporting that incorrect and inflamatory stereotypical view of fraternity and sorority members.
Therefore, I did alter the message a bit, but I still think "Illll" should be aware of the possibilities.

Would someone please tell me what a
lavalier is? Is it the actual pendant with the Greek letters on it (worn on a necklace chain?

Sorry, but I've heard of this term, but never quite been sure what it refers to!
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

You've pretty much got it right Cutie...a "lavalier" is a charm or pendant worn on a necklace that has a GLO letters' on it.
There are actually two types -- sorority lavaliers and fraternity lavaliers.
Sorority lavaliers are usually round pendants with a girl's own sorority letters engraved in it, and are usually given to girls by their Big Sisters after initiation.
Fraternity lavaliers, on the other hand, are usually charms that have a fraternity's letters arranged in a drop formation (vertical), or have the fraternity letters in a diagonal drop surrounded by a heart. In the case of fraternity lavaliers, a guy gives one to his girlfriend -- a process which is referred to as lavaliering, or "dropping" (due to the "drop" formation the letters are arranged on the pendant).

You've pretty much got it right Cutie...a "lavalier" is a charm or pendant worn on a necklace that has a GLO letters' on it.
There are actually two types -- sorority lavaliers and fraternity lavaliers.
Sorority lavaliers are usually round pendants with a girl's own sorority letters engraved in it, and are usually given to girls by their Big Sisters after initiation.
Fraternity lavaliers, on the other hand, are usually charms that have a fraternity's letters arranged in a drop formation (vertical), or have the fraternity letters in a diagonal drop surrounded by a heart. In the case of fraternity lavaliers, a guy gives one to his girlfriend -- a process which is referred to as lavaliering, or "dropping" (due to the "drop" formation the letters are arranged on the pendant).

Here's a site where you can go to look at lavaliers: http://www.burrpatt.com

Sorority lavaliers can come in all kinds - the round or paddle shaped engraved disks, the dropped or staggered letters, or even ones with the mascot. Often each "family" in a sorority has a distinctive style and metal (silverplate or goldplate) of lavalier. For example, my family lavalier was silver with diagonal letters. The styles also vary from sorority to sorority and school to school.




[This message has been edited by 33girl (edited December 08, 2000).]

My sorority's lavilere is the drop lavilere while you are an active sister, when you become alum, the lavilere has our letters on a diagonal (but still in the "drop" fashion)

Do sorority women lavalier their boyfriends too (like exchanging class rings in highschool) or do they keep theirs. I guess what I'm asking is: Is it just a guy thing? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

My husband lavaliered me a month and a half before he asked me to marry him http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Back in the day, I believe the men would actually give their pins instead of "dropping" a girl his letters (lavaleir). I believe that's what my father did to my mother (sigh).
I guess in a way it's (dropping) kinda like a promise ring...only in a guy's eyes, more serious!
Good Luck and definately consult a brother on the proper proceedure!
Hootie http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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What do you get when you cross and Alpha Omicron Pi and a Sigma Phi Epsilon? A beautiful Chi Omega!!!

Lavaliering is very, very serious for us - it's essentially a sign that you want to marry, not quite engagement but you all know what i mean. anyway - it's very rarely done while still in college, and it's a pretty huge deal, at our chapter, for all involved. Then there's the dreaded 'Curse of the Lavalier' . . . but that's for another time maybe

A sister of mine is engaged to a frat guy and he skipped the whole "dropping" thing so I don't think that it is that big of a deal anymore

This is an old thread, but I think it still happens. Depending on where you go to school, you can either "drop" the girl or pin her. In my chpater, lavaliering (dropping) was the big thing, since most of us didn't have badges.

I didn't "drop" my college girlfriend, but I had my own reasons. I figured if I was that serious, I'd eventually propose (which is what I did).

I know my brother's Phi Tau chapter usually goes and serenades the prospective girl...the guys get all dressed up (badge and tie and what have you) and troop over to the girls place to sing to her.

However, my brother bucked the trend. He and a brother were asked to be santa/elves for his GF's sorority christmas party. The other brother had lavaliered a girl in this same sorority, and the girl had 2 separate lavaliers. So my brother asked him to get the extra lavalier on his way over to the house. So PhoenixBrother plays santa that night, asks each girl what they'd like for christmas and passes out little gifts, and his girlfriend was last. He asked her what she wanted and she told him something practical...then he pulled out the lavalier and said, "well, will this be OK too?" and put the necklace on her! Cue a room full of Alpha Xi's going absolutely nuts. My dad was ticked that he didn't have his own lavalier to give her, but I don't think she cared!! (for the record, he did eventually give her her own). I just thought this was super super cute.

At Otterbein, "dropping" RARELY freaking happens. Honestly, I can't think of a single person in 3 years of Greek life who has been dropped or pinned, and neither can any of our alumni. The groups take letters very very seriously and are unbelievably protective of them.

And another thing, girls at Otterbein usually wear lavaliers of their own letters (vertical drop style). I get asked all the time if they are my boyfriend's letters! No, they're MINE thank you very much!

I know a couple of people who have been "dropped" or pinned, but it isn't a real big deal on my campus. It's a cute tradition, though.

the idea of "dropping" boggles me. In my fraternity, allowing ANYONE, guy or girl, to wear our letters would be blasphemous.

I think you'll find that varies from GLO to GLO, and from campus to campus. When I was in school, my then-bf gave me a lettered shirt, then his pin (he was too cheap for a lavalier!), both of which I returned when we broke up.

A couple of the sisters of my chapter are currently lavaliered, which seems to be a bigger deal than it was when I was in school.

That's the major reason I never "dropped" my wife. Also, she's an Alpha Phi and has her own letters. There was no need for me to give her mine.

Yeah... I know for a fact that lavaliering a girlfriend or fiance' would be looked down upon by most NPHC orgs across the country. And I don't blame them. I earned those letters... NOT MY GIRLFRIEND. And like it was hinted at before, if there is a bad break-up, the ex might keep a few items... use them for some kind of evil ransom. I don't know. Actually, I did read that Iotas' wives had some special exemptions as far as pari goes, and that the Zetas and Sigmas are bound constitutionally; but I don't think I've seen too many letter swaps or drops, or whatever there called. I guess I wouldn't talk so much crap about it if it were a replacement for an actual engagement ring or something. I'm out.

When I was in school (late 80s) dropping happened on my campus. It was taken very seriously. The couple were considered to be almost engaged if he had given her his lavalier. The most popular style was with a pearl or a diamond on the drop. We usually then started looking for an engagement ring on her finger!!

Typically, if a guy had given a girl his lavalier, she would reciprocate with hers.

I can't say that my chapter has ever had a lavaleir given away to a g/f, but I'm sure it happens on our campus and all over the country.

Do any Betas do this?

I know we've had a couple ceremonies where girls have been dropped... the guy gives it to an Alumnae who also participates and just about everyone knows but the girl being dropped until the moment it happens... i've had some wine tonight, hope this all makes sense.

We didn't call it "dropping" at my school, but lavaliering happened a decent amount. How serious is was seemed to be based on what the individual house felt. I know the Phi Psi's pinned because that was viewed as less serious than the lavaliering. We didn't have very many traditions. When my fiance lavaliered me with his sig ep letters we were alone in his apartment. I also would have killed him if he would have made a big public spectacle out of it. I reciporcated. The only real drama that happened was when guys that were in a really volatile relationship would do it or if girls would give guys their letters first. That was looked down on slightly on our campus since some people interpreted it as trying to force a guy to lavalier you.

some Betas at my campus have dropped sorority women. A couple Phi Delts have done it too. One was really sweet....the couple had been dating for a couple years. He did it at a mixer and many of his brothers were there. During the night, they all walked up to her and gave her a red rose, then he was last with a rose. They guys surrounded her and sang a song, then he put the necklace on her. And yes, all the girls cried. :)

Droppin letters/lavaliering is bad news. Don't do it unless you're absolutely sure you're getting married and even then only if you don't respect your letters. YOU earned them, not her. I reserve the right for me and my brothers only to wear the letters, because we earned them. Just becareful.

My advice... DO NOT DO IT!

Oh man, its only 10 months. I dunno, I guess every chapter is different, but for Kappa Sigma's at UConn, the only girls I know of who are lavaliered were greek themselves so they had a full appreciation of the greek system, and were girls who were engaged/married to brothers. In my nearly 5 years as a brother, no brother initiated after me has lavaliered his girlfriend, nor do I see it happening any time soon. We take it that seriously.

Me personally, my letters are one of my biggest sources of pride, I've made girlfriend's turn a Kappa Sigma sweatshirt inside out without hesitation, rather than wear the actual letters, etc.

It WAS 10 months...6 years ago. Check the date of the Original Post.

Never drop for GDI's. It means nothing to them.

Furthermore, yeah I know that at least in my chapter, they get tree'd... I had to clean up the mess from it when I was pledging.

Well I'm a douchebag... however the advice still stands for anyone considering it on short term.

Umm...no.

I was a "GDI" when I was pinned, I knew what it meant and how special it was.

Don't do blanket statements kids!

GDI - dumbest phrase ever. In fact I find it worse than "frat boy".

Why is it such a bad phrase?

I hate GDI's.