Top 10 Products Only Douchebags Buy
 

I found this article online, and thought it was hilarious.

I'm proud to say I own none of this (but then again, I'm not a douchebag). And I pretty much have a strong dislike for anyone who does.

These are also things notoriously "guido" as many people refer to it..

Article: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/...hebags_buy.php

That's pretty funny, but Blue Tooth definitely shouldn't be on there. It can be used in douche-y ways, but CA just passed a law that makes it illegal to talk on your phone (handset) while driving. Sooo...#2 is lame.

I can't stand when anyone has their bluetooth on all day. Use it in your car. Not everywhere but your car.

What's funny is that us Hawaii natives don't even wear puka shell necklaces.

I get the feeling that these present-day douchebags' grandfathers probably came here decades ago, went back to the mainland, labeled it cool.

Before I clicked on it I knew Axe products would be on the list.

I'd also like to add hair bleaching/highlighting services and kits, as well as having a subscription to Maxim, Stuff, FHM, and the like then actually taking the contents seriously. I'm egalitarian, I feel the same way about Cosmo, Glamour, and what not.

I looked up douchebag on urbandictionary.com because I've yet to have someone adequately define it for me. The second definition is none other than Dubyah himself. *giggle*

Bluetooth should be on there because the only time is should be used is for the purpose you just stated. Many states have that ban. If you aren't driving in your car, it should not be on.

I'll admit I use it in the privacy of my own home since all I have is a cell phone. I'll wear it while I fold laundry or cook instead of holding the phone up to my ear or trying to sandwich it between my ear and my shoulder. but yeah, people look douchey and schizophrenic when they are wearing it all the time and appearing to talk to themselves.

I think it's the "wearing it to be seen wearing it" that puts it on the list.

If you're wearing it because it's useful, especially if no one can SEE you wearing it, it's all good.

Oh, and my hubby's parents put Axe in his Christmas stocking last year...I inwardly groaned, because I wouldn't expect anything else from them!
lol

Ditto. But if I am not conversing, it's not on my ear.:)

4) A Set of Balls for Your Truck
The trailer hitch doppelganger of a pissing Calvin sticker, "Your Nutz" are the ideal vehicle accessory for any guy who decides a V8 Hemi is still a little too subtle. Giving your truck its own set of balls makes a bold statement about the type of life you lead. It says "I'm not afraid to let it all hang out." It says "I've got stones" and "Convention be damned, I do what I want." But most importantly, it tells everyone else on the road to watch out for the asshole in the pickup that spent twenty-five bucks on a fake pair of balls.

So I was driving home from work the other night and the pickup in front of me had these in blue. And then it struck me- aren't blue balls a bad thing? So what is this guy trying to say- that his truck gives him blue balls?

As for bluetooth headsets, the guys I work with all wear these 24-7 and it annoys me to no end. I usually ask them when Scotty is going to beam them up.

How are Crocs not on there?

Every dude I ever met with a set of Crocs is a douchbag.

Axe Body Spray - My nephew loves the stuff but then he is 12. I guess I'll have to have a talk with his dad.

I agree with the Crocs comment. There is a facebook group called, "I dont care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumbass."

I agree with every single post in this thread, and the only reason for Bluetooths is in your car, but be aware that you will still look like a douche and people will laugh at you.

LOL
I'm a member of the facebook group, "everytime a see a kid wearing heelys, I want to trip them"

ughhh I was thinking the same thing... my son is amost 11 and he and his friends LOVE Axe lol ... the teacher had to send a note home last year asking the parents of the boys to please have their sons refrain from wearing anymore Axe to school because it was making her nausiated. lol

On the AXE/TAG front, I've banned it from my classroom. I had some boys who would just douse themselves in the stuff. I told them, "You're in HS now, you shouldn't want smell like a 12 year old, go buy some real cologne and only use one spray of it."

As far a bluetooth, I only use it in my car since it's the law here. I hate it though. I feel like the borg.

You guys have clarified a mystifing e-mail that my son's school just sent out banning body sprays. My son will be in 1st grade (the school is pk-8) so I already knew it didn't apply to him, but I didn't understand why the ban.

Thanks everyone!

Oh gosh, my husband loves his crocs:rolleyes:

I and my sons are constantly telling him he looks like a dork, but he thinks they are SOOOO comfortable.

I've secretly been letting my puppy use them as chew toys (they're comfy for his teething little razor teeth too) but so far they seem indestructible. They will be around with the cockroaches after the nuclear holocaust:eek:

Yikes. I'm guilty of the xmas stocking thing, but it was body wash not spray stuff. Does that make him less dorky? It is so hard for me to think of stocking ideas. So, you young cool people, what should I put in my kids stockings this year? (son is 23 and D is 21). I saw a list that said Vera Bradley's are dorky for anyone over middle school but on GC a lot of students still like them. What is "douchey" (that word gives me the creeps) for girls?

Well, since it's body wash and will be coming off in the shower, maybe it's not as douchey?:oIn my husband's stocking I get him silly things like pez, or a dvd he may have wanted from the $5 section at target.

Douchey for girls? Speaking from what I have to deal with at the HS, I personally hate scented lotion from bath and body works or VS because it just reeks to me...and the mixture of scents makes me want to gag. Anything that says, "your boyfriend thinks I'm hot" and t-shirts of that ilk. Clothing that creates a muffin top.

Large fake handbags
Shirts that say stuff like "angel" or "princess"

There's more, I can't think of everything right now.

For girls I would add to the douchey list girls that make an effort to have their thongs hang out of their low rise jeans (sadly yes, people still do that)

and large fake sunglasses/ fake uggs

Definitely large sun glasses. The bigger the glasses, the bigger the ugly.

No, Corey Hart would be sad.;)

Clothing with words printed across the ass -- especially on prepubescent girls. I think that is the tackiest thing ever.

Omg, the 12 and 13 year old boys at summer camp pilllled that stuff on before the dances. Ew!

I would be a member of that group too except my youngest son has a pair of them (our neighbor bought them for him without discussing them with us first). he's had them one week. I see them lasting another before we have to make good on our promise that if he cannot control himself while wearing them then the wheels come out.

I've been in that group for a long time. Over 1,00,000 facebook members can't be wrong...

Actually, I think that's whory, not douchey.

T shirts or purses that say "Mrs. Pitt" or "Mrs. Timberlake" are douchey.

I think women can get away with more when it comes to using certain products or wearing certain things than guys.

My son hasnt worn his Heelys in over a year, but they drove me insane!!!
I think he outgrew them. Thank God!!
My 8th grade daughter carries her Vera Bradley to school everyday, but I think you might be right about the older kids, I see a few but not many carrying them. 3 years ago they were all over the high school. But not anymore.

I love big sunglasses!!! But I absolutely HATE white sunglasses. I only buy "fake sunglasses" if by that you mean cheap ($20-$40 range) because I break and lose them all the time. Plus I have a 2 year old that loves to wear them... so cheap sunglasses are definately my friend. Today I have a pair of Fossil ones I got on sale for like $28 and I am about to hit an all time record - I have had them 6 weeks!!! woo hoo!! I only lost them once for about a week when the baby hid them behind the computer desk but happily I found them when the internet went out! The day before I found them I ran into Walgreens to grab a pair because a week down here without sunglasses is HORRIBLE but they didnt have any that were "right" for my face. So far that is the only thing I dont think is bad to wear lol.

I think anything goes "out of style" for high school/college age girls as soon as their little junior high sisters or moms start wearing it...

That was def. my cue to stop wearing Abercrombie & Fitch

HAHAHA

This list is definitely right on and hilarious.

And I hate Crocs too!

I should join that group because I see kids wearing them and rolling in the stores and in the BART (subway) station. I really want to see them bust ass

Pull my coolness card...I love my crocs. I adore my hot pink crocs. They make my husband cringe :D

definitely the thong thing--TACKY

I think (okay, I hope) we're coming out of the Axe Phase at my house. Each "fragrance" is worse than the next, but that's all my two youngest want me to buy for them. Ugh.

What about the people who buy the spray-on "hair"? It supposedly helps "fill-in" thinning hair.

As for crocks....I finally bought a pair for the garden with the grocery store marked them down to $1.99. I bought them so they would become a mess and my real shoes would stay clean