? about your weddings
 

Were your groomsmen also ushers or did you have totally different people doing that?

We had 2 ushers in addition to our groomsmen

what's the difference?

We did too.

The ushers normally seat people
Sometimes groomsmen do this too

My fiance is having 3 groomsmen, with his two brothers as co-bestmen. My brother, the third groomsman, will help seat people. However, we also asked two of my fiance's close friends to be ushers and help seat people.

Ushers are in charge of getting people to their seats. Groomsmen just walk up the aisle w/ the bridesmaids - they are basically male bridesmaids. Since it takes guys a lot less time to get ready than girls, the ushers and groomsmen often are the same people.

We had four groomsmen and four separate ushers. They were all friends of the husband.

The main responsibility of groomsmen is to attend (basically stand with) the groom during the ceremony. They may also have informal responsibilities -- planning a bachelor party, being responsible for decorating the get-away car, acting as escorts for bridesmaids at pre-wedding events or the reception, etc.

Ushers show people to their seats before the wedding. Often (as in almost all the time, in my experience), the groomsmen act as the ushers.

I had no ushers aside from my groomsmen. I have been to a few weddings where the groomsmen acted as ushers but where there were also a few extra ushers. My nephew's wedding last year was the first wedding I ever attended (in 40+ years) where the ushers were an entirely different group from the groomsmen.
Maybe it's a regional thing (or maybe I'm reading your post too literally-- quite possible, I admit), but I've never seen groomsman walk up the aisle with bridesmaids. I'm used to seeing (and doing, the times I have been a groomsman) the groomsmen come in first, followed by bridesmaids. They do escort the bridesmaids out, though.

Side question: Although I don't always see this tradition followed, it is very much the tradition in these parts for the groom to ask his father to be his best man. Do people see that elsewhere?

I've only ever seen groomsmen one time, and they walked up w/ the maids.

I think this is definitely a regional or maybe a city vs. country thing.

I had 7 groomsmen, and they served both functions. Before the ceremony, they ushered people to their seats. During the ceremony, they stood next to me. They walked back up the aisle with the bridesmaids after the ceremony was completed.

I usually see groomsmen escorting the bridesmaids up the aisle...except the best man/maid of honor. He's usually waiting at the front of the church with the minister and groom, and she walks down alone.
I went to one wedding where the bridesmaids kinda of "danced" their way down the aisle alone, and their groomsman met them at the front, escorted them to their spot, and they went back to their spot next to the groom

We had a small wedding, but wanted to make sure all of our siblings had a part. I have 4 brothers, no sisters; DH has 1 of each. His sis was a bridesmaid, we had 2 groomsmen (my youngest brother, and my husband's brother), and 2 ushers (my two oldest brothers). My brother Tommy performed the ceremony.

We wanted a small wedding party, so we had a Best Man, Maitron of Honor, Junior Best Man (an 11 year old is just too old to be a ring bearer in my opinion) and a flower girl.

I wanted my brothers involved in the wedding, so I asked them to be ushers (seat people). They rented tuxes so they didn't have to buy suits. I gave them the choice. Just before the women walked down the aisle, I had my FIL usher my NanaIL, my oldest younger brother seat my MIL, my 2nd brother usher his older sister and my baby brother usher his baby sister.

Who is escorted down and when also varies by religion. I did a lot of research on this trying to accomodate the recent divorce of my inlaws. I also had both of my parents walk me down the aisle, which is traditionally Jewish I believe, where as Roman Catholics traditionally just have Dad.

It depends on who you want here for a Best Man. I have seen Dads, but also brothers, friends and sons.

Most often I've seen the groomsmen act as ushers as well. Occasionally I've seen a few extra ushers, depending on the size of the bridal party and the size of the wedding itself. You don't want people waiting to be seated because you only have 2 ushers and 300 people. I believe the recommended back in my day was one usher per 50 guests.

I've seen groomsmen do it both ways, walking the bridesmaids down the aisle and waiting by groom. In both cases, they escorted the bridesmaids out. I think which way you do it is just the church's standard and personal preference.

ETA: I've never seen a Dad be a best man. I've seen a son be a best man in a second, older marriage.

I noticed when I moved "down South" (GA, SC & AL) that a lot of Dads are the "Best Man". I had never seen that when I was stationed up North or in the Midwest. Isn't it interesting how regional things are? (i.e. the whole "cookie table" notion in another thread)

Coming from a Midwestern perspective:

I've never seen the dad be the best man before. Usually it's either a brother or close friend. For our wedding, it was the husband's best friend who also introduced us.

The groomsmen waited up front and the bridesmaids walked down the aisle for our Lutheran wedding. The groomsmen escorted the bridesmaids during the recessional. At my sister's Catholic wedding, we walked both the processional and the recessional with the groomsmen.

We had a rather large wedding (230ish guests), which is one reason why we opted for additional ushers. The groomsmen did not seat any guests.

Interesting. I've never seen groomsmen escort bridesmaids up the aisle. With the exception I note below, I've invariably seen the groom, best man and clergy wait at the front, the groomsmen come up the aisle in pairs and stand to the side of the groom, followed by the bridesmaids and then MOH, who come in one-by-one and stand next to the bride. The groomsmen do escort the bridesmaids out.

Very true. I've been to Jewish weddings where both the bride and the groom were "escorted" in by both parents. I've been to Episcopal weddings where everyone processed -- a crucifer leading, followed by clergy, groomsmen, BM, groom, bridesmaids, MOH, bride.

I would think it also has a lot to do with regional tradition. Few things bring out the tradtion sentiment more than weddings. Seriously, I can just see a bride around here saying that she wants the groomsmen to escort the bridesmaids in, and her mother and the wedding director shaking their heads and saying "that's not how it's done."

That's really what I was getting at -- whether this is mainly a Southern thing. It certainly doesn't happen all the time, but I would guess that in about 80% of the weddings I've been to, the groom's dad was his best man. My father was mine and my brother's.

The church were we were married had the pews set up in a "+"shape - so the bridesmaids walked to the mid point break in the pews where the groomsmen then met them and walked them in the rest of the way. The best man was up front with my husband. Not sure why we did it that way, other than the church's wedding person told us to do it that way.

We had two additional ushers but the groomsmen helped out seating people as well. The ushers were the ones that escourted in the parents right before the processional.

And the father as best man thing is definitely regional, in Evansville it was really common, but here in Indy I have yet to see it.

So the groomsmen escort each other down the aisle? Now that I've never seen. :)

You just reminded me...my husband was in a wedding where the aisles were somewhat of a "Y" shape and the groomsmen and bridesmaids both started out at opposite ends of the "Y" at the same time and met up in the middle, and continued the rest of the way towards the alter together.

LOL. No, they're not arm-in-arm, just side-by-side.

And come to think of it, I do sometimes see them come in one-by-one rather than in pairs. But it always seemed like the idea was that nobody cared about looking at the groomsmen like they care about looking at the bridesmaids, so you get the groomsmen in fast, and then slow down for the bridesmaids. :D

I had never seen groomsmen come down the aisle with the bridesmaids before--I'd only seen them wait up front with the groom--and then AXOAlum, who was the coordinator at our oldest's wedding, suggested that they walk up the aisle with the bridesmaids. It was so appropriate! The music was bouncy and Scottish (from "Braveheart") and it worked out beautifully.

Actually I've been to only a couple weddings that actually had ushers. People just walked in and found their seats.

And I went to one wedding where the groomsmen picked up the bridesmaids about 2/3 way down the aisle-it was the most awkward looking thing.

See, that's interesting. My wife and I are Episcopal and were married in an Episcopal ceremony, and we didn't do it that way. The clergy was up at the front of the church with myself and my groomsmen when the bridesmaids and bride walked down the aisle.

The church where we were married (Trinity in Boston) is an old-school Episcopal Church, so I don't think they were using any new spin on the ceremony.

I guess there's more variation within my own church then I thought.

This made me think of something similar (well, kinda). Has anyone seen a bride get walked down the aisle by her father and step-father? I feel like they did that at a wedding I went to a couple of years ago, but I'm not sure.

I'd kind of like to do that (someday), but I don't want to hurt either of their feelings. (Step-dad for being excluded or Dad for not being the only one) What do you think?

Btw, my step-dad and mom have been married since I was ten.

Maybe I should have clarified that I have been to one or two Episcopal weddings where the wedding party entered that way. The gazillion other Episcopal weddings I've been to, or been in, were more like your description of yours.

And Trinity is gorgeous -- a beautiful site for a wedding.

I've never seen it, but I have heard of it. It's your wedding and you want to make it happy for everyone - I would go for it.

When a friend of mine remarried, her daughters (7 & 9 at the time) walked her down the aisle and then "gave" her in marriage. It was cute.

Then she promised to love, honor and OBEY...not so cute. :mad:

Ah ok - that makes more sense. The only Episcopal wedding I've attended is my own, so I'm fairly limited in my knowledge.

Trinity is great; my wife and I were members when we lived in Boston and attended regularly. It's one of the main things we miss about living in the city.

Yes I had sorority sister do this at her wedding. I thought it was great and a way to honor both men in her life.

I've seen Roman Catholic weddings proceed in a number of ways - Groomsmen already standing up front and waited for the Bridesmaids to enter; where the groomsmen walked down the aisle single file followed by the Bridesmaids; and Goomsmen/Bridesmaid paired up while walking down the aisle.

Our Monseignor let us choose the way we liked best. My husband and I preferred the latter. He walked his mother to the altar and my father walked me. At her own wedding, one of my best friends (who was not talking to her father at the time of her nuptials) walked down the aisle by herself - halfway - and her husband met her halfway up the aisle from the altar and they walked arm in arm back towards the priest. It was very touching.

As far as Ushers - we didn't have any. Groomsmen were just Groomsmen! Although I had two of my younger girl cousins stationed by the church doors handing out wedding programs. I'm sure they did double duty letting everyone know where to sit, as well!

Our groomsmen will also be our ushers...although we might have to ask my brother to help out with seating the guests as one of the groomsmen is not able to attend the wedding now.

We didnt have Ushers...exactly. The only people who were escorted to their seats were the two Mama's, and the groomsemen escorted them, and then joined my hubby at the alter. Each of the bridesmaids walked down by themselves.

As far as everyone seating themselves...My family sat on my side, Jonny's family (the 8 of them that were able to make it in from out of state) sat on his side....and all of my sorority sisters, and their dates, and fraternity friends from college sat on his side. He noticed it and said "I cant believe your girls did that for me...." because otherwise, it would have been...um about a 8:1 difference.

We had both mainly because the women in both of our families seem to live forever and we thought it would be a good idea to have "a nice young fellow" to escort the elderly to their seats. They really enjoyed it ;)

Everyone here has separate ushers and the groomsmen don't seat - most people have 3 or 4 ushers (all my friends have BIG weddings) and the ushers do all the seating while the groomsmen just hang out with the groom. I will say that most of the ushers are useless though - they will only escort an unescorted female, and if a woman comes with a date they let the two just meander down the aisle.

I really like the "new" Catholic wedding liturgy that's actually been around since Vatican II - the bride and groom greet all the guests at the doors to the church before the ceremony, then walk in together in the procession to start the ceremony. I haven't seen it done yet but several couples at my church in Minnesota did it and all really enjoyed it, despite the fact that most of the guests were upset because "That's not what's done!"

Mr. Winnibug and I didn't want to make people choose "his side" or "her side", so the ushers just sat people wherever

I have seen dedicated ushers, and groomsmen that act as ushers. I've seen the groomsmen standing at the front of the church alongside the groom, and I've seen groomsmen escort bridesmaids down the aisle (but I've never seen the groomsmen walk alone down the aisle). I've never seen the dad as a Best Man. All of the jewish weddings I've been to have had the parents walk the bride and groom down the aisle. And I've been to weddings with no ushers, and many that did not divide the sides of the church for bride/groom. I've also seen a flower girl "escort" the ring bearer, who was an English Bulldog.

I prefer for the bridesmaids to walk alone down the aisle (just seems more traditional to me), and since my father has passed away, my mom will be escorting me when that day comes.

I am having one seperate usher who will hand out the programs and assist in seating people. =) The groomsmen will walk with the bridesmaids.

We had groomsmen (my brother, his brother, and his dad) and separate ushers (my cousin and his fraternity brother). With our setup and schedule, it flowed a lot easier.