Question on Rushing in my 30s (Fraternity)
 

I am hoping that there might be some observations (from your perspectives) on my particular situation:

I will be transferring from a JC to the University of Washington in the fall and am strongly considering rushing a fraternity.

I am 33 years old and married, and am finishing up my bachelor's after several years sidetracked between work and family.

I spent a couple years in Army infantry and I get along fine with an age demographic a level or two below my own. Mostly I just want to get the most out of my college experience, and have a good group of fun loving people (like myself) to associate with while I'm there.

My wife is fine with me going greek if it happens. In her own words it would "short circuit the mid life crisis she knows would happen eventually". :)

I guess my question is simple: As a 30 something would I be viewed as some kind of freak if I attempted to rush? I've read anecdotes here and there that for fraternities it is not totally unheard of (unlike sororities), but hope that some of you might be able to tell me your thoughts on the subject directly.

Oh and also, an important question is living in a house. Is this mandatory? My particular situation would make that impossible, obviously.

Thank you for any responses.

UW is a pretty traditional greek system, where most (if not all?) greeks live in the house and join right after high school (or rush the summer prior to freshman year). I'm not sure what the rules are with fraternities regarding married collegiates, but that would disqualify you from many sororities...it might be the same for fraternities, but I'm not sure.

i dont think rushing in your 30's is that ridiculous. i would welcome someone regardless of age to rush my chapter. give it a shot.

Yeah from what I have read here and there over the past few days sororities and fraternities sometimes have differing outlooks on older members, especially in more traditional settings.

That's reassuring, thanks.

I would recommend looking into a professional fraternity over a social one in your case. There is just so many events that you have to attend and participate in while you're pledging( could be up to 4 or 5 a week), which may be difficult in your situation. Also, most social fraternities require you to be a full-time student to join, where some professional orgs accept part-time students. Also, many fraternities don't look to rush anybody over the age of 21. Sorry, I don't mean to sound negative, just trying to give you some advice.

Our house has bid some guys in their mid-20's (almost all guys who just got back from Iraq).

I don't think it would automatically disqualify you, but you may have to be that much more impressive. Maybe point out that having been in the service you're looking for another brotherhood like that, we've heard that a few times and brothers seem to react to it well.

In the late 1970s(?) maybe, our chapter pledged a gentleman 72 years old.

On a much more serious note...and may God bless me, because i'm going to get thread raped. But I think a lot would have to do with whether or not the chapter hazes. Let's be frank, adult like, some chapters do indeed still haze, I don't know about the particular campus or anything. Or which chapters do or don't but it still happen. I care to imply the rest of the point and hope you and everyone else see what I am getting at.

Let the inevitable onslaught begin.

Agreed, even if it's just verbal/mental hazing, are you going to be able to put up with getting yelled/cursed/screamed in the face at by a 19 year old kid for not memorizing lengthy passages out of a book or random facts about other 18-22 year old guys? Before you consider those chapters, that's something to think about.

Not to say all chapters are like that, but some definitely are.

I appreciate the frank responses.

Two things to say about hazing.

One, if I was ever in a position to be verbally/mentally hazed, that would mean a house found someone of my age and background acceptable. That would be a negative within a larger positive.

And two, compared to infantry basic training, bulldog light infantry NCO's, and a year and a half in firefights with Iraqi insurgents from Anbar to Baghdad, I don't think a couple of 19 year olds yelling at me for forgetting someone's middle name would register all that high on the boiling blood pressure scale. =)

Though I would hope that any hazing would be verbal/mental only, because I wouldn't take too kindly to even brothers laying hands on me intending harm. =) And though I may not be 18 any more, I'm a 33 year old light infantry arctic trained ski trooper, Army ju jitsu instructor, decorated combat veteran, and the reflexes might kick in. :D

(Probably not, but in my warped sense of humor that would be somewhat funny)

Anyhow I will give it a shot. If they like me, right on. If not, nobody was ever killed by a pipedream.

Kind of interesting that you both popped in to this thread with same idea at same time.

What ever.

As for your comment: The OP is a 30+ year old military veteran.
Just what could a 19 year old do to him?
And why?
As we have seen in most of, if not all of the RM threads, he has three choices:
Take in.
Give it back-G*D help those kids if he does!
Get out of Dodge and report them to all TPTB.
Or if he is from Ft Lewis, have some friends pay them a visit;)
And if from McCord or Whitby Island, Chapter house will be a hole in ground.:D

And this is the University of Washington, Seattle Washington.
You both maybe out of your region here.;)

I forget to mention, that story is cool as hell. Really real life beats Hollywood any day. =)

Funny enough, I do have plenty of mates at Lewis. I was with 172d Stryker Brigade up in Alaska (traded in my skis for desert boots and boarded the plane), and more than a few of the old boys rotated into Stryker Bdes here in WA.

I was the smart one. I got out while the getting was good. :)

Very good answer and thank you for your service.
Have not been near UW in a while, but I have not heard much of hazing being a big issue up there.
There are several others on board who may know a bit more.
Best of luck and let us know what happens.

I was down in UPS and ran into a few Rangers along the way.
All good Men.

Ah, UPS. An oustanding school. Unfortunately on the GI Bill I would need to rob 4, maybe 5 banks per semester. :D

I will let you know where the EZ ones are :eek:;):):D

Making rash implications again, are we? And, I did say I don't know about the particular school, but I was only mentioning something that if it does happen to be a factor, it could be a huge deal. Thats all.

Getting back to original questions...I say go for it. I pledged with a guy that was 27. Both the president and his big brother were years younger than him but he still had a great time. When it came to the hazing stuff, yes we were hazed unfortunately, he didn't pay much attention to it. As you have already stated, what can a 19 yr old really do. My pledge brother, more times than not, laughed at them.

one of my pledge brothers is a 29 year old marine with a couple kids, he went through pledging just fine, and we consider him to be a great asset to the house (and we did make exceptions for him i.e. doesn't have to live in the house) so its possible to find the right group of guys for you

one of my pledge brothers was 25 when he joined after serving in the army before college. his big bro was 19 and it worked out fine.

hilarious

I pledged as a 30-something grad student. I was not the oldest active in the chapter. Another guy was older, and he had a kid.

However, I joined Alpha Phi Omega, co-ed National Service Fraternity, not a social, so that is a little different. Most APO chapters are open to having non-traditional student pledge and activate.

hey look, i fixed it.

No you didn't. You're just being a jerk. Nothing in the original post said only socials.

While he didn't indicate social fraternities, I got the impression that's what he was interested in.

It could also be he's not aware of other possibilities. Too many think socials are the only kind of GLOs.

Another poster mentioned professionals, which is another possibility as well. (but will leave that avenue to those more knowledgeable about them).

Who knows though, it may turn out that APO is a great option for him.

It wasn't like it was presented as a social fraternity.

And that "fixed it for you" crap is just lame. There are plenty of other frat boards for that. It's not even funny smartassity.

Absolutely. Before GC, I was only aware of NPC, NIC, and NPHC organizations (thanks to my pledge manual). I wasn't aware of service and professional groups.

When someone says they want to go greek, or says that they're going to college and looking into greek life, they are absolutely 100% always talking about a SOCIAL fraternity. Professional "frats" and greek letter honor societies have absolutely nothing in common with my fraternity (aside from greek letters) and when someone says they're going greek no one is referring to them, so I think it's absurd to even pretend that it's reasonable to think he is asking advice about joining a "business frat".

And there is nothing wrong with others presenting other options, is there?

But when a guy is rushing in his 30s and he has a wife and kids, it's also pretty likely that he's not going to have the fraternity experience that the average person looking into greek life is looking for.

If it turns out that his campus isn't open to 30+ year old social fraternity pledges, he may want to look at what's out there.

Had the OP been an 18 year old recent high school grad, yours would totally be a point worth making. For this guy, maybe not so much.

How many business fraternities have houses?

Here is where we draw the line between Greek Lettered Organizations and Fraternities. Any CLUB can slap Greek letters on their name and POSE. Fraternities, which when someone expresses interest in joining Greek and mentions a house, as the OP did, you assume hes talking about FRATERNITIES. FRATERNITIES aren't clubs, they're brotherhoods, they're much more, so we gentleman in fraternities shouldn't be short sold, by a bunch wannabes. If you would like to offer the situation to the OP, phrase it better:

Dear OP,

Perhaps you should consider a service organization club. I joined (not pledged) one, and I was of a similar age, and found it to be a great fit.

And stop making up words. Smartassity?

You flatter yourself.

In an incorrect way, grammatically speaking, no less.

Smartassity used to be in someone's signature here and I loved it. I wish I could take credit for making it up but I can't.

Actually, at UGA one of the business fraternities has a pretty nice house, but I'm not sure who, if anyone, lives in.

http://www.terry.uga.edu/akpsi/


It doesn't hurt to give a guy who may not find a place in the typical brotherhood some options to enrich his college experience. I don't think anyone posting thinks they are equal substitutes for someone looking for a social fraternity brotherhood exclusively, nor were they presented as such.

Sorry, but I joined a service fraternity, not a club.

Having a house is not a criteria for being a fraternity. At many colleges and universities, many if not all social fraternities/sororities don't have houses. Does this suddenly make them clubs and not fraternities/sororities?

The only accurate thing you said is that Fraternities aren't clubs, they're Brotherhoods. Totally agree. But owning a house is not a requirement for that.

I can't speak about professional or honorary GLOs being fraternities, never having joined any.

But I can say that the service GLOs that I am aware of (APO, GSS, OPA) are most certainly not 'posers'. You're not just being 'smartassity', you're being stupid and insulting.

Does your service fraternity have a very elaborate ritual which is conducted once a week, a 150 year history, a rigorous 10+ week pledging process, a situation where almost everything about your college experience involves your fellow members, you live with all your closest friends, and you know they will be some of your best friends for the rest of your life? Because that's what makes my fraternity a "brotherhood", not just the fact that we choose to describe it as one.

Ok, you found one, not at the university he was referring, and more fraternities than not, have houses, and more GLO clubs than not, don't. So it is very safe to say that he was talking about joining a social organization, and thats what everything said in thread was pointing to, until some jackass had to plug in for a service, professional, whatever the hell bullshit that was, that will clearly never be able to offer the same opportunities and atmosphere, as true fraternities.

You are really over-selling it. There's no reason why this thread should be making you feel like you need to defend and justify your social fraternity.

I'm sorry he takes pride in his organization, and wants to distinguish himself from someone who merely puts on greek letters but has no real concept of what they mean to him.