Be a good big!
 

Okay, this is pretty random, but I just wanted to ask all the girls in sororities to PLEASE be a good big sis to your lil.

As a freshman last year, i was so excited to find out who my big was. Our chapter is large, and I didn't know many older girls, so I looked forward to becoming friends with my big.

However, that did not happen. After the big/lil reveal [in November], I didn't see her again until Initiation [in January]. She never gave me her phone number (I gave her mine) or acted like she wanted to have any kind of contact with me. She didn't even bother to tell me that she was not going to come to our annual big/lil Christmas party, where I sat next to her empty seat all night holding onto her present that I had carefully selected for her.

She never speaks to me, ever. When I see her at chapter, I smile and wave, and she just looks the other way. Most of my sisters are best friends with their bigs; it just makes me kind of sad that I don't have that with mine.

So please, if you're just a mediocre big sis, try to improve. It really makes your lil feel terrible when her big wants nothing to do with her.

Anyone else have a big/lil story?

Maybe you could adopt one? Seems quite common from my understanding.

phimuladee, how sad. i am so sorry that your big isn't into being a big. definately one reason not to force people to be a big if they don't want to be-and that's what this sounds like.

is there some older girl that you do feel close to? close enough that you could talk to her and maybe unofficially adopt her as your big?

no matter what, i imagine that you will be an awesome big this fall when you get a little. maybe you and your future little will have the bond you are missing. good luck!

I have taken 3 littles. I haven't really had a successful relationship with any of them, and don't have any grand-littles.

The first one, I was really close to when I took her, but then she kinda spazzed and I don't really know what happened there, but she isn't really an enjoyable person to hang out with.
The second little I took didn't come to ANYTHING after the big/little ceremony.
My third little quit school after one active semester. She's nice enough, but I feel a little awkward around her. Anytime I ask to do anything with her, she either says "some other time", or says "ok" like she doesn't really mean it.
:-(

I will definitely be an AMAZING big next year :p

And on the flip side, people need to be good littles too. My little did nothing for me for senior week, and at one point another senior started to feel bad for me all alone and helped me out, but it was really sad.

Just wanted to say people in coeds and guys in fraternities need to take heed as well if you have big/little programs.

"Also new girls need to understand that the Big/Little relationship, while important, is not neccessarily the most important relationship you will ever have within the sorority. I think there's a HUGE misconception in sororities that your Big Sis will be your BFF in the chapter and you will be so super close. That's just not true. I love my Big of course and we are very good friends but she is not my closest friend from the sorority (my house room mate is actually). So there are girls you will be closer to who are not your Big Sis, and that's okay. "ksuviolet 06

so true!!

My big and I had a major falling out the end of my sophmore year. We had one huge fight in the middle of our greek courts - over the fact that she didn't like that I had started hanging out with other sisters that she didn't like. She told me to go find a new big and that she was "de-littling me". After that she pretty much just stopped speaking to me and my lil.

My lil and I got really close after that and then my grand-lil joined our fam. All 3 of us got along great. We weren't each others best friends in the sorority, but we were friends and we were allies and we tried to do "family" things together on occassion. 8 years later I still talk to both my lil and my grandlil.

Exactly - sometimes it happens, but sometimes not. My little & I weren't close because her best friend pledged at the same time - she already HAD a best friend in the chapter. My little little and I, on the other hand, are best friends, still.

My original big and I were really close, until she got her next lil sis. Then it was like I didn't exist. There was an older member who stood in for my big because she couldn't make it to initiation. This older member lived near me (commuter campus) so she was pretty much my "big" sis. I made her a paddle with "Pseudo Big Sis" on it. She graduated and we kept in touch once in a while, but not much. I became very close to another sister and considered her my big sis from then on.

My original big sis took on another lil sis. When she left the sorority to help start a new local (not too long after that sister's initiation) I took on the big sistership of the lil. Seven years later we still call each other big sis/lil sis. Sometimes you just gota go with the flow and you don't always have to be close to that person who was given to you.

I think it's nice when big/lil sister combos work out to be great friends, but the purpose of a Big Sis is to give the new member a mentor. In AOII, she also vouches for the new member. If you aren't best of friends, at least, the Big Sis should be available to answer questions and should take an interest in making sure her lil's new member period is successful. If she can't do those things, she has no business being a big sis.

duly noted.

This is my first post :) just found this site, but I had to comment.

My big and I were best friends and were inseperable. Some of my favorite memories of college involve her. We did everything together and it was sort of hard because when someone invited me they had to include her and vice versa. It was great but I was older than her and was the more responsible and reliable one so I was sometimes the big. While active I then took 4 littles but was never as close to them as I was my big. Unfortuantly my big and I had a huge falling out and we don't really talk but I will always cherish our memories and I am happy to have had her in my life because she introduced me to my GLO.

I did have a problem because I not only worked, double majored, participated in nearly every club on campus but I was also on exec and president of my sorority. It was really hard to handle everything and I did not have a lot of time for my littles. I had one little that was jealous that I was president and actually told me so (she dropped) but we are still friends and she regrets her decision I think.

I do wish that I did spend more time with my littles, but in my oppinion being a big sister is to be a good example of what your sorority and a strong woman stands for. I had a tradition that after initiation, I would take my little out and we would reflect on the iniation and go over the meanings and how it affected her. I was always there if they had a problem and I am still always there for them. I can't wait till one day they are my bridesmaids, as I will be theirs.

My big sister and I are friends, but we lost touch about a year ago. We still talk occasionally, but we are not as close as we once were.

I adopted both of my littles! They actually asked me to be their big sister. It not be "official", but we don't care and everyone in my chapter knows who my littles are! :)

Sounds like you were a very good Big Sis, Bella. I would have loved for my big to sit down with me after initiation to discuss the meaning. In the end, I taught my big sis ritual! Ha! She was a great big sis but in different ways.

If you're going to post on GreekChat, please do so without putting in a plug for your business. All your 5 posts so far have advertised your business in some way.

That's just SPAM. No one likes it. And it violates the Terms of Service.

I done tol' her.

I had a good sister mother and I was a decent one myself, I think.

Looking back, I think if possible it would be a great idea to have the big sisters be people living in the house or on the hall if you are a campus that does that as much as possible. My experience was that folks living in were always more at the center of things than those who weren't and I feel like maybe it would tie people in deeper to the organization as a whole. And since I think a lot of places people live in as sophomores, it would mean that the relationship could fully develop over time, even if it formally ends at initiation if that's the case.

My big sister is amazing! We didn't really have too much in common at first, but as we got to know each other and spend time together we realized the similarities we do have! With her ebing so involved in the house (she is our president and my grand-big was the president before her) it has inspired me to be more involved, hence my taking on the rolls of Recruitment Chairman and Facility Manager at the same time for 2008! I can't wait to become a Big and inspire girls to become involved in the house and set positive examples, like my big has!

I have a pretty mediocre big.

The first problem was that they assigned my someone I'd NEVER met or even seen around. She was on food duty during recruitment, so while everyone was hugging at diamond sister reveal, I was introducing myself.

Then I found out how busy my big really is. She is rarely at the house, never at chapter (some kind of conflict), and misses most of the non-mandatory events. She is also less enthusiastic about sorority life than your average big. Even today, I'm not 100% sure why she's in a sorority at all.

The good news is that my big is actually a really cool person and we have a lot in common. It just took me a long time to figure that out because we so rarely saw each other or talked. This year I'm moving into the house and she'll be living right across the hall, so I think things will get better.

But it does motivate me to be a dedicated big. I can't wait!

Well alpha gam technically doesnt have bigs and little even though my chapter decided to do them any way in addition to sis moms, but bigs are kinda more important to us. My sis mom was not that bad I never really talked to her and we still don't really talk as much as we should. We are very different personality wise. She is kinda socially awkward, a perfectionist, but super sweet. I am very laid back and go with the flow. We tried to hang out but there was always those awkward silent moments. So now when we talk it is either about an alpha gam issue, to take a family picture or just the "hey how are you" but thats it. Now my big right before reveal she was always taking me out and it was great. Like two weeks after reveal we still kinda hung out everyday. But during the summer I would say we spoke once on the phone. Since she was a Rho Gam in the fall we didn't talk much. For the rest of the semester we would hug and have small talk but we never would hung out. It was the same way at the beginning of the spring. She decided that she was going to take another little and things changed. She started stopping by my place all the time we started hanging out a lot. Then when reveal came she bought me and my new twin family shirts. Now the three of us hang out all the time. I am not sure what happened during that quite period we had but thing are good now.

As for me as a big I have two little, one that I adopted. The adopted one got a big who was a senior who had a demanding job and was applying to grad school, she honestly didn't have time for the sorority let alone a little. So I decided to adopt her because she was my sis daughter anyway. I love my littles I try to hang out with them as much as I can.

Logprac, your posts don't make too much sense but the link at the bottom of your posts is clear as day.

I'm pretty sure that any kind of advertising is not allowed, no matter the purpose.

My Big and I are not best friends but she is a great big! We hung out quite a few times before big and little reveal and I knew I wanted her to be my big because I really respected her and looked up to her. I was looking for a role model not a best friend. She has always made it very clear that I could talk to her about anything and she always makes an effort to hang out with me. I hope when I'm a big in the fall I am able to be as good of a big as she is. I think less emphasis should be put on being best friends and more emphasis should be put on being good role models.