So i have a question.....
 

this is directed to any member of the Pan Hel Sororities. Do you look down upon or have a problem with sweethearts of Pan Hel Fraternities? Just want to know.

We would have to care about them to have a problem with them. :p :cool:

I don't think everyone necessarily looks down on them but these groups are no longer legal or recognized by our organizations with the exception of Iota Phi Theta. Their sweethearts are recognized by them nationally.

The other groups were banned in 1990 even though some chapters insist on having them around, risking their chapters and reprimand by their national bodies.

Many NPHC sorority and fraternity members cannot understand why anyone would want to be apart of groups that aren't recognized but this is not to say that everyone necessarily looks down on them.

Speaking from my own experiences, sorority members don't, however; appreciate when these groups are disrespectful to them in any way. Being as though they are not even supposed to exist currently, no sorority or fraternity member should have to deal with them, especially if they are a nuisance, which they have become on some campuses.

Are there any older threads about this? My search function laziness has taken over.

I think my post says it all. If she wants to know more (although the fact that these groups were banned should be enough), let her do the searching.

Eh...was that a "yes?"

that would be a yes...lots of threads.

bwhahahahahahahahaha.... well said

I was being facetious, kind of. :)

Routinely this question pops up on the boards, and I think the truth is that sweethearts aren't even on most of our radars. At this point, they don't legally exist for any org. but yours, so as organizations they do not register. To be honest, I do not often encounter active sweethearts--yet another reason why they do not register for me personally.

I never understand why people ask this question; except, I imagine, to start mess, because that is where these threads always seem to end up.

@ Sweet Gem. I think another reason why sororities have such an issue with auxilaries is because of the persona that certain auxis or members in that carry around. Ive seen some carry around that attitude like "Im the shit" coming to sorority events and being disrespectful. (from what Ive seen in my perspective). And in all actuality, auxilaries are just imitating sororities. If you look back in the day how sweethearts used to be they were very seldomly seen. You went on court for the frat and that was it. I really blame the fraternities for not keeping their sweethearts in check. But at the same time, I know me personally have been disrespected from sororities for no reason at all. I keep it movin. I know who Im here for. I seldomly go to greek events unless its an event for the sorority Im interested in or an Iota event. But females are catty anyway. So there is BOUND to be drama regardless. BUT I think as long as people leave stereotypes at home and just respect and be polite to each other as collegiate women FIRST I dont think there will be problems. BUT theres bound to be anyway.....

When women spread this nonsense, it makes it hard to blame men for spreading this nonsense. Only catty females are catty.

Whatever drama that you've experienced is undergraduate drama that doesn't even exist on every campus.

Good luck with the sorority that you're interested in, though. :) You seem smart enough not to make the common sweetheart mistake of coming to interest meetings snapping your fingers, talking about how you've already gotten the sisterhood/sorority experience and know about Greekdom because of the frat you help. ;)

I'd like to co-sign. This is what makes some sorority members disrespect auxillary members from the door without even knowing them (not that it's right).

I'll co-sign here too. Not all women are catty and when girls mature and truly become women, the cattiness decreases or disappears. When we learn to love ourselves and not be so insecure, our relationships get better. For many women, it takes them maturing and coming into their own for them to get it and sadly some never do but on the undergrad level, you can't really expect most of them to because they are still very young.

As a grad chapter member now, these groups are definitely not on my radar but as an undergrad, I had to deal with them (oh the stories I could share) and sadly on some campuses, they are still a nuisance. So I think the people that come on gc with this mess are probably at such schools or they know a "member."

^^Never had that experience. I can not even recall them being on my campus during undergrad. *Thinking hard* No, I don't ever recall seeing sweets of any sort.

I was on a local campus chatting with some Greeks (don't worry, it's a non-traditional school -- they were all my age or older) and we were talking about Greek life, and somehow I mentioned sweethearts. It got real quiet....

Then somebody said to me "Yeah.... the Krappas here have sweethearts...."

And I said "Ooooooooooh"

And they said "Yeah" :(

People are hoping they will go away.

If you had them on your campus, you would definitely remember...no need to think about it. Like I said, oh the stories I could share. I was an undergrad in the early 90's and we had all of them (except Iota sweethearts) on my campus, running around, getting into altercations with NPHC sorority members, and getting passed around like meat between their so-called "brothers"...Oops but you ain't heard that from me.

I am so glad we banned them. Now I just wish some of our chapters would read the memo.

On my campus a few years ago there were some guys in a frat asking girls opinions if they would want to be a sweet if they were brought to campus. One of my classmates got asked and she was WAY excited. I was like....OH HAYLE NAWL! The aux. never got brought to my campus, and I think most were happy about that.

Im so glad that on my campus we never had those issues. BUT I have seen on some campuses where sweethearts of other fraternities were being passed around by ALL the frats just going up and down the plots lol. I have yet to really seen other sweethearts besides Iota Sweets cause thats all that we had on my campus. But gladly we get along with the sororities on my campus both historically black and multicultural ones.

But I have heard some stories about auxilaries who cause a scene because they werent selected for intake because they swear up and down because they've been through whatever "process" with that means they should be selected lol whew

I feel like my Soror Little32--I have to care about them to give a gosh darn... And I don't.

The uplifting of women, African American women in particular does not seem like it can be done by Fraternities. I guess the corollary to that is that like mothers cannot make a boy into a man--so goes that a father cannot make a little girl into a woman... Fathers can make girls in women, but to be a positive role model of a woman? I dunno?

I would prefer powerhouse women as my role models than men who expect an antiquated concept of womanhood.

I was a former (notice I said former) Omega Sweet back in the day when it was considered a stepping-stone (most of my BSs had been Omega or Kappa Sweets.) Once I became a Pyramid the Sweet identity went away.

As everyone has said, we did not go to sorority events acting like we were peers. We knew we weren't and so did everyone else. We were humble and that is the biggest difference from today. Oh and we were legal. Only the Iotas have legal Sweets, so to me in spite of their "incorporating" into their own orgs. as long as they carry the name of a fraternity they are bogus.

Oh and the reputations associated with them today as opposed in the past is a whole 'nother subject. And for that the frats share the blame.

That was a really good article. I have a question though...and Ive been so confused and my brothers have yet to give me an accurate answer. If the NPHC exists because of the organizations within them, Im still trying to understand how the NPHC banned all auxilaries. If all the fraternities and sororities are what make the council, then without them it wouldnt exist? Was it something that was a collective agreement that it was in the best interest of the council to get rid of sweethearts in fraternities? Because suppose for example.... XYZ fraternity decided that they didnt want to get rid of their sweethearts? How could other organizations of your peers force you to get rid of apart of history within your organization? Was there some sort of law that was put into place about sweethearts, because of the band, when Iotas DID join the NPHC what made their sweethearts able to coexist? Sorry if Im asking too many questions, just :: confused ::

^^^ The NPHC itself is just a coordinating organization. Ultimately, the member fraternities and sororities still govern themselves. If AKA brings back aboveground pledging, Alpha brings back sweethearts, Kappa goes coed, there's nothing the NPHC could do about it.

More than that, the organizations that banned sweethearts most likely did so on some sort of a risk assessment basis, similar to their banning of pledging. I know women who were sweethearts in the 60s and 80s and their experience shows that sweetheartdom has changed in terms of the meaning and stigma. When it started changing may depend on the campus because my family member who pledged a BGLO frat in the 1950s had already had an unfavorable opinion of sweethearts as submissive and objectified.

We know why the Iotas didn't ban the along with the other NPHC orgs. But my opinion for why the Iotas still haven't banned them is that Iota is still relatively small and able to self-regulate pretty well. So on that end, perhaps most of the chapters, and the organization as a whole, has not experienced the risk associated with sweethearts so feels no need to ban them. Our risk assessments and ways of governing ourselves will always vary. This is another reason why the NPHC can't regulate our organizations as if we all have to be doing the same things at the same time.

The NPHC is by itself an organization which 9 historically Black organizations currently make up. Yes, these organizations also function on their own and would continue to do so without the NPHC just as Iota did before 1996. The difference is that we do make some decisions together regarding those things that all of the orgs agree is best for all of us. All of the orgs felt that the auxillaries (particulary the sweets of the fraternities) were no longer serving their intended purpose and had turned into nuisances and liabilities. The negativity associated with them was also not a good image so the orgs collectively decided to ban them prior to Iota joining the NPHC in 1996. Iota decided to keep their sweets and other orgs could have made the same decision but we collectively agreed on the outcome.

Because of the long history of the NPHC and the cohesiveness between our orgs, we are still likely to think of what's best for all of us when it comes to certain things...since we are peers.

Thank you very very much!! To all of you ladies, its the best answers to that question that Ive heard yet!!! I understand now!!