Rejected
 

My university breaks down into trimesters, I recently rushed for a fraternity and recieved a bid. Then a few days later I got a call from my pledgemaster saying that they had a meeting and some of the older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to "party with them to get to know them better" and rush again in the fall. Does this normally happen? Any advice to weather or not they were serious about this? Everything is kept a secret I do not know if they really want me back. I really wanted to join greek life and was majorly turned down and depressed by this. I couldnt understand, If they didnt want me why give me a bid in the first place?

Never heard of this situation. How badly do you want to belong to this chapter? If you want it bad enough, do what they are asking you to do.

Never heard of anything like this happening before. Sounds like bids were "issued" before a chapter vote had been taken. The pledgemaster may have jumped the gun. That's not cool.

I admit I don't know nearly enough about IFC policies and the vast majority of my NPC experience is with formal Recruitment. This was a verbal bid, not written and the OP didn't mention signing anything. However it did come from the pledgemaster who is an official representative of the chapter.

I honestly don't know if it would be binding or not. Sorry I can't help but I am interested to learn from those who do know.

Yep.

I would wait until fall unless you want to come in under a cloud of resentment by a lot of brothers. Do you know if bids were issued to anyone other than you?

Man.....screw those guys.

I wouldn't want to be part of a fraternity which felt it was okay to screw with people in this way. There are several ways this mistake could have been handled and this was one of the worst.

I agree, but if the pledgemaster was enough of an idiot to hand out bids before he should have, I don't expect him to handle anything else with any sort of tact....and I'm guessing he was told "you made this mess, clean it up."

This happened to me and someone else. We were both given formal bids, majority of the brothers stood outside my dorm and handed me my bid invitation and had a big party for the pledges afterwards. A few days later is when I got the call. They gave out 6 bids and took back two. Is this even allowed?

Well, that changes things a bit.

They're dicking you around.

Tell them to go take a flying leap and find another fraternity that won't be a bunch of jerks.

Will that have an impact with other fraternities if I decide to rush again for another one? Im scared they will trash my name and I dont want to go through this kind of rejection again. I just cant get it through my head why they would do that to someone. I thought a few times about calling headquarters and finding out more but I know I will end up hated by everyone if I did that. There must be some rule about this. I still have my bid card; it was signed by the sage and the rush chairman.

Well I am probably not in your fraternity but I doubt there is a national rule on that...seing as a pledge can be released from the pledge program with ease in every fraternity (unless I'm missing one) they are probably allowed to do what they did. That being said it's weird that they want you to come around in the fall. Most of the time if you didn't work out as a pledge they'd tell you straight up.

My guess? They may be on some sort of probation or in trouble, whether from the university or their nationals. I know that at my school for rush infractions (wet rush, dirty rushing, underground parties, etc) a common punishment is a capped pledge class. Maybe they were told they had to cap their pledge class at 4 after they had given out 6 bids, picked their two least favorites or the two they felt they'd be able to hang onto and told them to wait for the fall.

That is such crap. I see that as the older brothers' problem, that's what they get if they don't think it is important to go to membership selection (I'm assuming they blew if off instead of having something much more important to do, since it was a group and the group consisted of older brothers.).
Any IFCers, correct me if this is wrong, but I think you will be eligible to join another fraternity the next term. I wouldn't join this one again.

Agree 100%.

I am sure you were voted on and just because some members were not there to vote and then said no? They want you to party a little more with them!!! BS. If you are treated like that now, what would the future bring?

Take your toys and go somewhere else.

After reading his other posts, I am betting the "older brothers need to meet you" story was an outright lie. That would have made sense if they took back all the bids they gave out (i.e. the older bros weren't there to vote on the pledges correctly), but 2 out of 6 - that stinks all around.

I am sorry for this. Very.

We depledge around five guys a fall semester.

Does this normally happen? No. However, it does. On many campuses, for an IFC bid to be official, it needs to be signed by the chapter (the president or rush chair or whoever is officially designated to sign the bid) and by the rushee (i.e. you). It may also need to be recorded with the college administration by a certain date or time. Some bids may need to be signed by the rushee by a certain time/date. Not all chapters - even at the same campus - have the same time lines. If one of these things were needed, but not met, then they may be allowed to resend their bid.

So were they serious? I would hope so. As hard as it may be to believe, there may be a "good" reason why they did what they did. If you are truly interested in pledging this fraternity, then I would suggest you talk to either the pledgemaster, the president or the rush chair. As you noted "older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to 'party with them to get to know them better' ". Ask them what that means. And if you feel comfortable doing so, ask them your realistic chances of receiving a bid in the fall. Or at least try to get a better understanding of what happened. You may also want to talk with any other GLO members you know well (sorority women might be more forthcoming with you) and ask them if they know anything specific going on with this chapter.

It really depends on the IFC policy at your school. You may want to check with the Greek Life Office regarding the policy. If you are still interested in that chapter, I would suggest that you do not be accusatory toward the chapter at all. Word may get back and you might not receive a bid.

*Generally speaking*, it should not matter. But again it depends on the campus culture. When a chapter releases someone the way they did you, it more often reflects poorly on the chapter and not you. As such, if you elect to rush again at other chapters, I would not even bring it up. And by all means, take the high road and do not trash this chapter. If someone asks you during rush what happened, tell them you do not know the specifics but that you were told that the "older brothers" were not there during the bidding process so you had to wait until fall.

I wish you the best of luck.

If there are no campus IFC rules against it, he is eligible to pledge another fraternity right now.

If he has participated in the pledge initiation, then it would be a de-pledging. However, it sounds like he was never initiated as a pledge.

SECdomination and Elephant Walk- I agree for the most part with what you said. Weeding out is a necessary process.

But this particular case strikes me as very odd since it happened so fast. It just does not make sense to me that a bid would be extended and then retracted so quickly.

To the original poster- how big is this chapter? How many members are there? That seems like a small spring class- though at certain schools even strong chapters often take 10 or less in the spring.

Either way, I say forget about bothering with them again. Whoever is truly "right or wrong" here, they have dissed you and so there is no sense in worrying about it anymore.

Go ahead and rush again. It cannot hurt. Don't worry about this chapter anymore or let it affect your future decision making. While I think it is perfectly acceptable and a good idea for a fraternity to drop pledges as needed during the pledge period, it needs to happen for a specific reason.

And unless there is something you are not telling us- the time frame you have posted suggests that you were either not pledged in good faith, or were not dropped for the kind of valid reason that emerges with some pledges over time and was not spotted during rush.

It will be hard for you to ever find out why this happened- but if you are good friends with any sorority girls who have friends in that fraternity, that might be a good way to find out just for your future reference.

Yes its allowed, my chapter does it quite frequently. If fraternities don't take a unanimous vote on all bids then this can happen.

Same here. We initiated 33/51 last semester.

That's why we do it...our numbers are very, very similar. Some can't make it, even though we aren't asking them to do bows and toes on glass or some dangerous or homoerotic hazing. I guess the stress of always being alert gets to some people. We'll depledge around 5 and then get rid of the worthless by other means.

I say forget about them and rush a better group next trimester.

Remeber one thing, it is not a right to join or be invited.

It is a privleige.

And in respones to this I wonder why?

There are two reasons to boot someone!

They did not pay their bills or their GPA was not right!

If you did a good recruitment job then the % should have been higher. Or was it a pig in a poke rush?:o

No, there are plenty of reasons to boot someone. We go into rush planning on booting at least 5 and trying to get others to quit.

Tommy Boy, there are countless other reasons to give a pledge the boot besides not paying your dues and not having a high GPA.

Hell, I really don't even really care about GPA. Usually the ones that can't make the minimum requirements are just held over. Some kids have a tough time with school their first semester of college, I didn't, but I can understand some that do. If they are just blowing shit off, I don't have much sympathy, but if they show that they actually made an honest effort to do well.......I'm not one to ruin their year because of it.

That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever seen or heard!:rolleyes:

First off, I am not your Tommy Boy! :rolleyes:

And, I do agree with you on your previous statement! If they cannot abide by what is needed of them or they just piss it off, then they should be gone.

But for some to say that they expect to get rid of people gauls me.:mad:

If they are not good enough to work with and try to make it, do not recruit them except just to show numbers!

Well, not just to show numbers.... $$$$

- Gaul - gall -

Zing!

Tom, there is no way of knowing how a kid will turn out simply through rush. It isn't hard to put on a good show for us. I've seen it countless times. Kid comes through rush and we think he is the greatness. Turns out he's a complete tool.

I don't care anything about numbers. Most really good houses don't care either.......they get what they comfortably need every year and it works great.

This is one of the most serious and important posts you have made and you are 100% correct.

We as GLOs can only hope for the very best in recruitment.

Some will make it and others not make it!:cool:

I have to make an addendum to it.

We know that we will make some bad choices during rush. We know we will make at least 5 bad choices (because we're idiots, sometimes). We try to make good choices, but usually around 5 slip through the cracks...even if we signed them before school started.

EW;
I am, after seeing you post here over the past year or so, rather confused over your sudden expertise and experience.
You changed schools, you posted that you choose not to re-affiliated with "new" chapter as you did not think too highly of the Brothers there, and as well as not even being on campus and being out of touch with events there.
And during all this, you are somehow involved with IFC and rush rather that the chapter that you never affiliated with???
What , you kissed and made up? If so, do they know what you said about them???

Absolutely on all counts.

Thanks for keeping up with my social life. I don't know what I would do without GreekChat making sure everythings okay.

No, not keeping up with your life at all. If I was, I would have also pointed out the number of times you have been caught mis-speaking by other people on your campus(s).
Whatever.

Good of you to take over the spelling queen bee chores!:D

Have a swell!

Tom: we initiate 3/5 of our pledges because we WANT to initiate 3/5 of our pledges. We strive to get the best guys we can and drop the rest. Basically it boils down to whether or not they can DO something for us, its rare to let someone in JUST because we like their company. We want them to contribute athletically, academically, and/or socially.

Just tryin' to help you out:D