Wedding favors
 

Speaking of weddings....what do you think about wedding favors? I think they are mostly a waste of money b/c I usually take them home and after they sit on my counter a couple days I throw them away.

The two exceptions I have enjoyed are: a little bag of nice chocolates and my favorite was a 3x5 picture frame.
This was a Nov. wedding and in December we all received Christmas cards with a wedding photo of the B&G so all we had to do was cut off the bottom where it said "Merry Christmas" and put it in the frame. If I remember correctly they enclosed their thank you note with the xmas card.

Back in my day wedding favors were never more than a book of matches that said the B&G's names and the date.

For daughter #2's wedding, we made little metal bells to ring instead of the glass clinking. They were decorated and many friends use them as christmas tree ornaments we have been told. :)

Easy and cheap!

I honestly I am not sure what favors we will be using. I was thinking if we do anything at all it will be something edible. Right now my favorite idea is to do some caramel filled chocolate apples in boxes since we're getting married in the fall.

Cute idea! We went to Lindt Chocolatier (cheaper than Godiva) and handed out mini boxes of 3 truffles each. Which we had personalized there with our names and wedding date on the ribbon (which matched the color of my girls' dresses). Each person got a box, rather than one per couple. I figured, who doesn't like chocolate and why send someone home with another paper weight?

Also, if you want to make your own, they sell the truffles individually wrapped and you can make your own little gift bags and tie them with the chocolate inside.

We had chocolate roses tied with a bow at each table. A guest made the favors as our gift. It was cheap, fit with the theme and people seemed to like it. One of my sister-in-law's family has honey bees and they gave away jars of honey. My favorite gifts have always been disposable. I feel guilty throwing away the gift, but would feel horrible leaving it.

I've been in a wedding that had a bunch of candles left at the end. The MOB tried to get me to bring some extra home. They ended up sitting in a drawer for a "rainy day."

When picking out the favor, try to think of what the masses would like...and what you really enjoyed when you got a favor at a party.

We came from the same "day." I had never been to a wedding with favors until the last year or two (except for, as you note, the old matchbooks or napkins.) They seem completely pointless to me . . . I associate favors with a kid's birthday party.

I really don't want to take anything home from a wedding. Even the very nice chocolates we brought home from a wedding last summer went to waste -- we ate one each (of the 4 or 5 we each had in a box) and the rest went into the refigerator, where they remained until we found them 6 months later and threw them away. Of course, they were pretty much lost on me -- I'm not a big chocolate fan at all -- but even my wife and kids forgot about them.

My advice as a frequent wedding guest: Forget about favors.

The best favor I got at a wedding was a CD burned with songs the couple loved. There were dance songs, jazz, reggae and classical. And, they played some of the songs at the reception. I still listen to that CD.

When my oldest son's godfather got married they had a special "favor" for my kids- a bag filled with coloring books, crayons, stickers, etc. It kept the kids entertained at the table during dinner and the toasts. I'm pretty sure they had similar favor bags for all the other kids there as well.

My favorite adult favor has been a silver picture frame that holds a wallet sized picture. It originally had the placecard in it, but now it sits on my windowsill with a picture of my kids in it.

Not exactly wedding favors, but along the same lines-- I went to a desination wedding in South Carolina and we all had gift baskets in our hotel rooms. The groom was from Ohio and the bride from Maryland so the gift baskets had a little bit of both- Maryland Utz Crab Chips, Ohio Chocolate buckeyes, plus sunscreen, chapstick, and it was all put in a sand bucket with a frizbee as a lid.

My mom and my fiance's mom both were full of ideas for favor, but I personally think they are sort of a waste. Who wants some little trinket with someone else's name and wedding date on it? Seriously, if someone even keeps it it just sits around collecting dust.

So my condition for favors was that it must be edible/useable. We're going to be doing something involving chocolate golf balls. Both of us golf and we're having the reception at a golf club. We will also incorporate golf tees personalized with our name and wedding date. Relatively cheap, and a lot of our friends are golfers so they will get used. And if someone throws theirs out, not a big waste.

And there are to be no bells of any kind at my wedding, lol. I have been to several where they were favors and the constant ringing drove everyone crazy, including the bride and groom, who couldn't even get down a bite of food. IMO, the bells just encourage people to ring them. People forget to clink on the class, but if the bell is sitting right there...

The most recent weddings I've been to had CDs of the couple's love songs, or wine glasses with the couples theme, date, etc. on them, just like from prom. The CDs are always nice, but the wine glass? It's nice, but I haven't a clue as what to do with it, so it's wasting away in a box with all my prom/sorority formal/etc. glassware.

This is what we did for our wedding four years ago. They were all songs that had meaning to us as a couple, but they were mostly alt/adult rock. People seemed to like it then.

We went for the simple route of small boxes of fudge. Nothing special but very cheap and easy!

There was one wedding were bells were given... and every time someone rang the bell, the bride & groom would have to kiss. It was cute at first, but then it got pretty annoying b/c everyone kept ringing the dang bells!

Another wedding I went to, guests received a cookie cutter and a note that said something like "<bride> and <groom> were made for each other". Whhaaaaaat? What am I supposed to do with a cookie cutter? I don't even bake!

I really like that idea of donating $x for each guest to a charity

lilsunshine - I love the idea of those favors. And hey, chocolate is ALWAYS good.

VandalShyster and I received luggage tags at the wedding we attended last summer. I thought it was a practical gift but if I didn't get a favor it wouldn't have made me think the wedding was cheap or tacky.

Personally, I love wedding favors that you can eat. I do love chocolate, so I will take it no matter what the shape! I never leave the favors on the table, but mostly because I feel terrible doing that.

Our favors are going to be 4 oz jars of homeade jam. My FI makes the yummiest jam! Everyone we know loves it and people hoard it so that they always have some in the fridge. We know that if anyone does leave it on the table, there are some "vultures" who will scoop it up in an instant.

Fiance and I have chatted about this. We've pretty much decided that we're going to do chocolate from the little candy shop near him. It's an institution, and perhaps the *best* chocolate I've ever eaten. When I was in uni, he'd send me little sweets from there around finals and it always made me so happy. Plus, we're supporting a local business, which was important for us.

In terms of charity, dearest and I are going to do the IDo foundation registry. What you do is get a name on their website, then designate a charity (they give you a couple, or you can choose your own as long as you can prove its non-profit) and then go to any one of their linked retailers (Target, Linens and Things, etc) and create your registry. Whenever someone buys something off of your registry, a percentage of that purchase goes to the charity you've chosen. No fuss, no extra forms, nada. We're trying to chose between the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund or the WPA Humane Society or Animal Friends (which happens to be right next to our reception space).

We went the candy route. Yummy maple sugar candies in the shape of maple leaves. Fall wedding clearly :) We put 3 in a little favor box, closed with a ribbon and a leaf shaped tag with our monogram. I have a bazillion extras too!!

I was going to suggest teeny things of maple syrup but I keep forgetting how prohibitively expensive it's gotten.

What the heck with all this "bell" stuff? That's what silverware and glasses are for.

Definitely have the favor be something edible.

We were lame I guess-we just did match books with our names and date on it. We had sparklers at our wedding for when we left, so it correlated. Plus, I was trying to plan my wedding, graduate nursing school, and move across the country at the same time-so what favers we were going to have got the least amount of thought.

Yeah candies were the next best thing!

A lot of couples are having candy buffets at the end of the reception too with different kinds of candies to pick and choose from. So fun!

Fiance and I are tossing around the idea of a small jar of preserved peaches since we're getting married in GA but have also thought of silver wine stoppers. Little chocolates are a good idea too though.... and my mom wants to make these lamps she saw on Martha Stewart: picture a wine glass with a tea light in it and a vellum shade. They would serve as centerpieces/favors. Not sure I like the idea that much though... and am I the only one who thinks mirrors underneath candles looks kind of tacky...?

yeah, for real! However, I think this might be one of those "Pittsburgh" things. I've threatened to go for chopsticks and plastic cups to keep people from driving us nuts. All it takes is one wise guy.

I find this fascinating. I've been going to weddings for decades and had never even heard of the idea of favors until 3 or 4 years ago. Maybe its a regional thing. But to me they just seem like something the wedding consultant industry dreamed up -- kind of the nuptiul equivalent of a Hallmark Holiday. Something else to waste money on.

As for idea of charitable contributions, that seems nice and all, but I'm still flummoxed -- I've been invited to witness the exchange of vows (that is what it's all about, after all), I've been given my fill of good stuff to eat and drink, I may have danced, I've had a good time . . . . that's plenty! Why do the bride and groom need to give me a little gift (that I probably don't really want) or make a donation in my honor? I just don't get it.

I guess it's obvious we didn't have favors at our wedding?

My FI and I are doing rock candy in our wedding colors. One of the groomsmen has sworn to vigilantly pick up any rock candy left behind. :)

As for the donations thing, I'm really not a fan. Not that I'm against donating... I'm against donating and then telling everyone you know about what a great thing you just did. I think that should be more of a private thing. Additionally, there's no such thing as a charity without controversy... you really don't want a guest leaving offended because you donated to a charity that they're very much against.

I am with MC and others who have said not to spend too much time or especially money on favors. They fall under the same category of waste as the "save the date!" magnets in my book. Getting gifts for your bridal party/groomsmen is one thing (although from some of the other threads it sounds like those are getting ridiculously huge & expensive as well), but there's no need to give every person who comes to your reception a gift too. They've already eaten the food you've paid for, drank your bar dry and devoured the wedding cake you took hours to decide on and that it took days to make. Do they really need 3 candy-covered almonds wrapped up in tulle? (yes, got that one time)

Your wedding is about YOU and it's ok if YOU are the main recipient of gifts and spoils. You will spend hours writing thank you notes, that is usually enough for people.

I blame (as always) the wedding "industry" and the onslaught of online resources that found yet another "niche" to get advertisers and products to shill to overstressed brides with overstretched budgets that do not need ONE more thing to plan or buy or spend time making by hand to save $$ but still make a "showing".

/rant

Agreed, I think the whole industry is a "racket". Back when I was young a wedding was in a church and afterwards everyone went to the "fellowship hall" and had cake, punch, nuts and mints. Times have really changed. I've seen it go from just cake to finger sandwiches with crusts removed to full sit down dinners of filet and lobster.

No. I don't know what it is about candles and mirrors, but I think "cheap" everytime.

uh.....we are in Iowa :) so hardly "Pittsburgh" thought out here.

My daughter had a outdoor wedding/reception at a local lilac aboretum. She wanted a small ceremony and cake/punch reception immediately following.

The bells were painted cream and lilac with calla lillies and lilac clusters attached with lavender ribbon. They worked because the plates were a clear plastic and didn't clink :).

These are Jordan Almonds and the Italians refer to it as Confetti. It is a long standing Italian tradition (my great grandparents even did it in the late 1800s). You are NOT supposed to eat those! You are supposed to put them under your pillow that night and you will dream about who you are going to marry.

ETA: I wish people would just go back to matchbooks. I always had matches back then. Now, you need a match and there are none to be found anywhere. You used to get them at every restaurant, hotel, etc. for free. They are practically an endangered species now.

no no! I meant that at every Pittsburgh wedding I've ever been too (and I've been to a *lot* as a photographer), everyone always bangs the drink glasses with the silverware to get the bride and groom to kiss, rather than ring bells. Pittsburgh's full of weird wedding traditions, such as the cookie table. Although I must confess that the cookie table is one of the things I'm looking forward to most at my own wedding.

No, our extended family (Chicago-Calumet region) has been known to chip china banging on them to get the bridal couple to kiss. At my wedding, I thought I was going to have to deny my one uncle silverware because he was teasing the heck out of me....I guess when I was little and he got married, I really really enjoyed that little tradition :)! (Paybacks are double!)

THANK YOU! I don't mind a few votives here and there but absolutely NOT on top of mirrors. Yeah, I'm trying to be as inexpensive as possible but I want to also avoid anything looking cheap or tacky and I know it can be done for not much money.

Oh, really? I've never heard of that! Well then they should have included a cute little note about that tied to the lovely ribbon around the tulle because I don't think anyone knew that tradition (plus, what if you're already married? do you dream about your spouse?). People were ripping in to them and snacking at the table, I gave mine to the couple next to us because I'm not a fan of Jordan Almonds (I knew they had a name :p). Plus, neither the bride nor the groom were Italian, so I'm not sure what they were thinking with that favor then, either...

Rock candy is an awesome idea since you can get it in your colors and it's so yummy!!!! ::drool::

And who would be offended by saving some boobies? :p:D

Cookie table??? Ahhhh, do tell us more. Never heard of that one.

Thank you! If no one else takes it then I'll probably end up rotting the teeth out of my head eating about 100 pieces of rock candy :)

And about the charities: usually, what they stand for isn't the problem, it's how they operate, what/who they associate with, how they go about fixing whatever problem they're supposed to be dealing with, etc.

I have to agree with many of the previous posters on here who say favors usually end up in a drawer or the trash. I was reading this blog, Weddingbee, and someone posted this idea. I think it is a great way for your guests to have a voice in your donation, but not paying for favors that are going to end up in the trash. This is how I plan on doing my "favors."

Weddingbee: Sweet Charity

Oh man, the cookie table is the best part of a Pittsburgh wedding. Typically, all the women in the families bake their best cookies, and bring them to the reception (or give them to the Mother o' the Bride a few days before). Then they're spread out on a table, with either little boxes or plates (some people just use their napkins...we're not posh!) and load up on all the different cookies. It's sort of a bonus favor. Apparently it's a sort of "family pride" thing. Most brides get a wee book with the recipe cards as well.

One wedding we went to this summer had 120 DOZEN (that's right, 1,440 cookies) cookies baked by the brides grandmother ALONE.

A bride on a wedding site I frequent used this description, framed, on her cookie table to break it down to the out-of-towners:


The Cookie Table

The cookie table is a Pittsburgh tradition attributed to the collaborative culinary efforts of many ethnic groups. Nobody knows the exact origin of the tradition; it may be Italian or Slovak or Polish or Croatian or Greek. The Scandinavians may get involved, and the Indians, too. The Germans do cookies, and so do the Irish. Certainly, the cookie table is an outward symbol of the support and love which the bride and groom receive from all of their friends and family, no matter what their heritage. In fact, it’s symbolic of what makes America great: a medley of cultures taking the best of each. In this case, it’s favorite family cookie recipes.

There may be no greater tribute to cross-cultural friends and marriages than a Pittsburgh cookie table.

- Adapted from “The Cookie Table: A Pittsburgh Tradition”, by Suzanne Martinson

And number two:

These cookies were all homemade by the mother of the bride, sisters, aunts, cousins and grandmothers. Extended family got involved, too. Friends - of everyone involved today - jumped into the mix. The cookie table truly is the gift of love.

[Bride] and [Groom] truly thank, from the bottom of their hearts, everyone involved in the production of this cookie table and in every aspect of this day. There is no way that we could ever adequately express our gratitude. So simply: Thank you.

And remember, in Pittsburgh, people don’t wonder, “How was the wedding?” They ask, “Were the cookies good?”

- Adapted from “The Cookie Table: A Pittsburgh Tradition”, by Suzanne Martinson