Rehersal Dinners
 

What's the latest trend in Rehersal Dinners? I've seen everything from: At the house buffets, to casual restaurants to fancy restaurants.

Regarding liquor: everything from no booze, to beer and wine only; full bar all night; full bar for the first hour then it's cash bar (except champagne toasts); cash bar all night; and finally one place we each got 2 free drink tickets then after they were gone it's cash bar.

and the guest list: everyone who came to the wedding from out of town was invited; just the official bridal party or the bridal party and dates?

Tell me about YOUR rehersal dinner and your thoughts. Thanks.

I don't know that there is such a thing as a trend for rehearsal dinners. BUT, DO NOT HAVE A CASH BAR OR "DRINK TICKETS". It's tacky. These people are your guests. If you can't afford the booze, don't have any or have just beer and wine.

Do invite your out of town guests. They have traveled a long way, bought you a gift and typically are renting a hotel room for the weekend. Same goes for a day-after brunch.

One of my "friends" was always complaining about her "budget" for her wedding. My advice: you can't be on a budget when you invite 600 people!

Agreed 1000000%

I'm not sure of what we're doing for ours. It's either going to be bridal/grooms parties, parents, and grandparents at my house with ridiculous amounts of pizza, some wine and beer, and wii/monopoly/balderdash, or we're going to go to a restaurant and have something similarly casual. We've got wayyyy too many people from out of state to invite them all, it'd be a second wedding.

All I know is that I want the rehearsal to be CASUAL and FUN. I don't give a damn if it's classy, we'll be spending all Saturday being classy and formal. Let the night before be fun and relaxed.

That all being said, I've got no say in the matter (thankfully). I'm letting my FH and his mom think of something, and whatever they come up with I'm sure it will be fine.

My rehearsal dinner was at The Oaken Bucket in Houston, where we had family and the wedding party. We had prime rib and chicken, and wine. The only remarkable thing was that my (now ex) mother in law managed to throw food on the jacket of her ex-husband, my (ex) father in law. It was splattered all on one side. fun times . . . .

I heard some bridal consultant suggest that if you are not going to wear your mother's wedding dress at your wedding, and she's bummed out about it, to wear her dress to the rehearsal dinner.:eek:

That sounded so bizarre to me! would anyone really do that?

Ha! considering my mom is barely 5'2 and I'm 5'10...hell no, I'd never fit into it! I'm all about the re-waring and re-purposing of clothes, but my mom's dress is not exactly my style. That and wouldn't it be weird to be wearing a wedding dress while you do your rehearsal?

Someone on another board I'm on used a piece of her mother's dress as a ribbon in her bouquet, another one used her mom's dress fabric for a ring pillow. I think those are cool ideas.

I actually do know someone that did that...they looked stunning too! Here is my friend Melissa in her mom's gown (she had it cut to the knees) for her rehearsal.

http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/phot...92900_2824.jpg

I cut my mom's dress up to make a ring bearers pillow, so I couldn't do that.

My rehearsal dinner was wedding party (their dates), and family (my dad and uncle, his mom, dad, his dad's fiance, her three adult children and their dates). In all it was about 30 people. We had it at a nice restaurant. His dad paid for everything (including alcohol). There was a special menu where we could pick from 5 dinner choices, etc. It was really nice. We had our own room.

One of the most fun rehearsal dinners I ever went to was the most casual. It was my brother's, back in the 80s.

Our uncle was a chef most of his life and his gift to the couple was to prepare all of the food for the rehearsal dinner. The problem was that he had just retired and sold his restaurant.

We actually had the dinner at his house, on the back porch. The food, was fabulous and the alcohol was minimal: Wine, Beer and Champagne. Everyone wore shorts and golf shirts.

I think, because of the casual setting, everyone got to meet a lot more people than they would have at a sit-down dinner. It was like a big party (about 80 people).

The most fun one I have ever been to was my baby brother's - held in the Elvis Room at Chuy's - Richmond (that location is now, alas, closed). Think pink room, Elvis on black velvet oil paintings, photos, kitchy decor - the bride's family from Connecticut was FLOORED!!!! Yeah, Chuy's margaritas!

We had ours at out favorite restaurant-that happens to be Chinese. They had a catering menu that we were able to order platters off of. It was so successful that 4 years later my brother had his at the same restaurant. Immediate family, grandparents, bridal parties and their significant others were in attendance both times. At both events the groom's parent paid for everything...drinks and food.

I went to a friend's sister's and they had a clam bake. That one was really fun...but you have to live by the shore.

As far as the drink tickets idea, my brother gave each guest at his wedding a drink ticket at their place setting instead of having an open bar at the wedding. I thought it was a great idea if that is something you do-since people tend to over do it and waste the alcohol in open bar situations.

Our rehearsal dinner was at a restaurant/martini bar. We served salads, pizzas, and bread, and guests could buy their own alcoholic beverages if they wanted.

We included immediate family, the whole bridal party (including readers, etc), and all out of town extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins).

My parents sponsored our rehearsal dinner since DH parents are deceased. We wanted a casual get-together with all the wedding party members and family members in town as well as those out of town people who arrived early. It was sort of an open door policy. We had a buffet set up with all kinds of different foods from BBQ and potato salad and coleslaw and baked beans as well as baked chicken, mixed vegetables, salad. We had the opportunity to visit with almost-family friends who flew in from the state and spend that time. It was definitely low-key, casual, and most important, FUN!

that is actually really cute. i think it could work if you change it up as long as the mom didnt have a crazy wedding dress.

We had a buffet dinner in a Maggiano's special event room with family, bridal party, and out of town guests. We had a slide show there of pictures of us growing up and from our engagement shoot. People still rave about how good the food was, and we ate on the leftovers for weeks! I think we had a bottle of red wine per table (there were a lot of non-drinkers) and a dessert. It was relaxed and Maggiano's did a great job. I highly recommend going with a venue that will do all of the work for you!

Our daughter's future in-laws asked yesterday if they could host the rehearsal dinner at their house. They want to string white lights in the trees and fire up the barbecue. Yay! Sounds fun to me!

Our oldest daughter had a low country boil in a building on the college campus where she was married. The in-laws had friends who agreed to come to north Georgia and cater it. It was fantastic! The shrimp were massive!

Regarding wearing your old dress: the week before she was married, my oldest daughter put on my gown, we fixed her hair like mine was at my wedding, and she put on my veil. Then she walked into our bedroom and smiled at my husband, who did the biggest doubletake you ever saw. You see, she looks almost exactly like I did at that age and for a moment,he must have thought he'd gone over the edge.:D

That will be fun. At my niece's wedding up in the mountains in Colorado at a Lodge, the RD was at the grill with Brats, Beer, & fixins and everyone had a wonderful time looking out at the Rocky Mountains. I wish I could do the RD here but alas, the son won't be getting married in our town. Which is too bad b/c as an Army wife I have the silver trays and entertaining ware to do a big gala affair for a huge crowd.
My D tried on my vintage 80's Princess Diana style dress with giant poufy sleeves and said, "um, no way will I ever wear this".

^^^^Haha, my wedding gown was very similar to yours!

Rehearsal dinners that I recall were only for the bridal party and immediate family of the bride and groom.

Most of the rehearsal dinners we go to include the wedding party + dates and family of the bride and groom. Usually there's between 30-50 people there. I think at all of them we did family style meals, which works out great. Drinks were free with dinner and after that we were on our own - at most of them, everybody ends up staying out at the bars until at least 12 and that'd be a huge burden for the groom's family! Usually the groomsmen will take turns buying rounds or the groom's dad will buy pitchers.

I really like the more casual ones - I hate the really stuffy sit-down ones where nobody is even getting to know each other.

Has anyone ever received a written invitation for the RD? I have been to two and didn't but I know this is going to come up with my future in-laws.

That is so sweet! Those are the moments that make the whole wedding experience so worthwhile!

I went to a wedding recently where the bride and groom's familes had family wedding photos scattered all around the banquet room, it was so sweet and personal. The bride told me later she had wished she had thought to ask all the married couples she invited to send her a photo of themselves on their wedding day, she would have put them in frames on the table where the guests were seated.

I have - they're never really formal like the wedding invitation, but are usually a cardstock thing that the groom's parents made themselves. I like them because most of the weddings the Conservinator or I have stood up in are in towns we've never been to and they often include a map to wherever the rehearsal is and then a map to the restaurant.

When DH and I got married, a bunch of us got together for dinner the night before. It wasn't anything formal or official, just a bunch of us (read: the wedding party) going out for dinner. Our parents weren't there (my dad was too busy disapproving of the marriage, and my MIL was too busy downing Bailey's :rolleyes: ). We didn't really need a rehearsal - we'd been over everything with the rabbi privately. It was only after the fact that we tossed around the idea that that was the "rehearsal dinner".

Oh, and if any hypothetical daughter or DIL of mine dared to cut up my wedding dress, there'd be hell to pay. :mad:

I did paper invitations...but only because I got them free from vistaprint.com

Here is what they looked like...simple, informalish, cute (haha).

http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/i...j/Picture1.png

My mother is dead. I don't think she minded me cutting up her dress. I could never fit into it anyway (she was 100 lbs when she got married). I thought it was a great way to honor her. I'd be honored if my future daughter or DIL wanted to use my dress in any fashion (I'll never need it again).

Our rehersal dinner was a backyard BBQ catered by Jim N Nicks. (YUUUUM!) We went to a package store and had beer and wine, and we had tables set up in the backyard, and the food was set up buffet style on the porch. We invited the out of town guests, the bridal party and their dates and our closest family friends. We had about 45 people there.

I'm really sick of people using the T-word.

It the wedding of the bride and groom. Let them do what they want. If you think it's tacky, don't go to the wedding.

Cash bars are a lot more common than you think. Cash bars are a very regional thing. Cash bars are the norm in Northern Ontario. While in Southern Ontario, it would never happen. It really all depends on what you're use to, but it's not right to call someone elses choice or custom tacky.

I have been to quite a few cash bar weddings and I could care less. The bride and groom will provide wine with dinner (and believe you me, there's enough wine for 200 guests to get plastered without having a cash bar), but there is also a cash bar. The bride and groom will usually run their own bar and keep the proceeds. However, that's okay. It's accepted and it's encouraged.

Miss Manners, Emily Post, Dear Prudence, Amy Vanderbilt, etc. have made careers out of letting people know what is accepted and what is not. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it isn't tacky. If you are hosting an event you should provide the refreshments. That's simple hospitality.
But you are right - if you decide to something your own way, you should feel free to do so. However, you don't get to dictate other people's reactions to what you chose to do. The best part of tacky weddings is the stories they provide - see related threads.

Whitedaisy - I LOVE your rehearsal dinner invite. And I also love the idea of reusing the dress. Mine was NOT the one I ordered - I ended up giving it to the Salvation Army, but keeping my veil for my daughters.

I have been to RD's where the bartender at the private banquet room had: beer, wine and champagne but if someone wanted a mixed drink, they had to go out to the main bar and buy it. I don't think that's tacky.
I have seen the drink tickets (2 per person plus wine at table) because I heard the legal liability of the host can get ugly if someone is in an accident on the way home because of an open bar.

Wow, yesterday FI and I saw the FMIL and decided on our rehearsal dinner menu. She is having it at a local hotel down the street from the wedding. Unfortunately, she is very much for either no alcohol or a cash bar.

At this point I don't have the heart to argue with her. I am just happy that they're paying for the dinner at all. Finances have been a bit of a "thing" with the wedding.

I loved my RD! We did it at an Italian restaurant in Dallas-my husband's parent's paid for the whole thing. My entire family was there, as was his-even the out of town people! Also, we invited some of my husband's fraternity brothers who weren't in the wedding. There were probably 50-60 people there? I didn't know it was going to be that big-I sort of zoned out on that part of the planning. His mom did surprise me with some gorgoues flower arrangments there-we had a set menu and it was so nice!!

That dress is actually really cute - I'd buy that :)

I wish my FIL's lived closer to where we're having the wedding because their backyard/deck would be perfect for something like that and I really like the casualness of it - sounds like so much fun! Can anyone think of a way we can do that if it's a sort of destination wedding?

HERE HERE !!!!!! His parents really wanted to "invite the out of towners" but if we did it'd be 85% of the guest list ?! Plus it just gets crazy at that point if you invite Jimmy and Susan from out of town , who are staying with Mary and Joe who live in town... and Mary and Joe aren't invited ?! ETTIQUETTE HELL I TELL YOU just confuses the issue !!!

I just DON"T WANT a MINI reception ! it's not necessary.

We are having it at a mid-tier restaurant, buffet style about 5 minutes from our venue... with just bridal party, and their Signif. others if they have them, and parents of ring bearer and flower girl.

Exactly! Where do I draw the line? If I invite all the OOT'ers, then it's everyone coming to the actual reception. and then will the FIL's think I'm "stealing" their thunder with a second reception? Destination weddings have their own little sets of problems don't they?

SthrnZeta that is a totally adorable picture of your friend. Ok, now I've changed my mind about the wearing your mom's dress at the rehearsal. I guess if you are in your mid-20's now your parents probably married in the early 70s...I was thinking of my mother's cathedral style ball gown from the early 60s (my mom would have killed me if I wanted to cut that up!)vs. the Betsey Johnson styles or even the Gunne Sax styles. I could even picture a suit worn at a civil service possibly working. hey, whatever the bride wants. It's her deal and she gets the last word on what she wears!

ArmyWife, we went to an out of town wedding last year, and I was actually happy we were not asked to go to the RD. It was a long weekend vacation for us (sin children) so it was nice to have a little extra time for sight seeing.

bejazd, that's actually not my friend, I quoted someone else :)

And I know it's "proper" to invite OOTs but that would mean having a mini-reception and I don't want that. So, this is technically a destination wedding, it's gonna be just the wedding party and SOs BUT I will reserve a block of rooms and have small gift baskets for everyone in their hotel rooms with a list of local restaurants, etc. I think that's fair.

My bad. :o White Daisy gets the credit! in any case, she's darling.

I need another vacation without children! They've sucked out my brain, and I need recharging so I can focus!

I have to say, I was more stressed out for the RD than the actual wedding day! We had our dinner the night before our wedding at a local Italian restaurant which had a separate party room. Nothing too large or too fancy! Just a shortened menu and we invited immediate family and the bridal party (sans dates) and all of our OOT relatives and friends who were staying in a nearby hotel, where we had blocked out rooms. About 25 people in total. The food was amazing! And the drinks were fabulous. I think everyone had a good time and our bridal party definitely bonded! There, we handed out gifts. It made everyone more relaxed for the next day. My FMIL (at the time) picked up the tab. Although the dinner ran a bit late (we were all tired) I think it went rather well. Many good memories!

This is what we did- beer, wine, and champagne was in the private room, and you could go upstairs to the main bar to buy a mixed drink if you wanted (but I don't think anyone did). We just had family and wedding party at the rehersal dinner, since most of our out-of-town guests that weren't in the wedding didn't arrive until the day of our wedding. That still numbered about 40 people since we are both from large families. We did have a brunch on Sunday for all the out-of-town guests, though.

I can't remember everything that was served, but I do remember that we had crab legs. yum.