How do you reposition your fraternity?
 

So I joined a South Asian Fraternity in my sophomore spring semester. When I joined, the guys were pretty cool (it was still run by the founding fathers who were mostly seniors) and the alpha class was an okay group of guys followed by the betas- my pledge class...most of whom might not be your typical frat guys, but they were pretty chill aside from two or three complete social misfits.

Now, I don't want to sound superficial in this post...but whether you like it or not reputation is part of a fraternity and determines whether it will survive.

Lately, all we've been getting is entire classes of fobs and nerds. When I say fob, I'm not saying they don't know how to dress- I'm talking about accent like Apu's from the Simpson's. I have no problem with these guys. They're all really nice and I'm sure they'd have my back. However, I can't see myself going to the bar with these guys and picking up girls.

The past two classes we've had have turned out like this, and now it's just overwhelming. We now have about sixty percent of our chapter dominated by fobs and as bad as I feel saying it, it's kind of killing my motivation of being in the fraternity as well as a lot of the older brothers' because our image right now is the fat/fob/nerdy fraternity. How do I wear letters and still be proud even if I didn't care what anybody thought? Stereotypes have a certain truth to them and these stereotypes are mainly true about our brothers. I grew up in the states so I'm not as cultural as these guys and I have a huge mix of friends from all different backgrounds- but they're all very Americanized unlike a lot of my brothers in the fraternity.

I was Rush Pub this semester and attempted a repositioning. But I used the COB method which just caused our fobs to bring more fob friends in. How do I reposition the fraternity or do I just forget about it and send my superficial ass home?

Here's a thought, you could quit calling these guys 'FOBS' and find out what they have to offer. You say they're nice guys and they'd have your back...so why can't you have theirs?

If you can't look past the superficiality and only want guys who look like they can help you pick up girls, then yes, I'd just forget about it and take your superficial ass home.

And just in case the rest of GC doesn't know what FOB stands for. FOB = Fresh Off The Boat, usually used to describe immigrants from Asia.

SMH :(

:confused: And now you don't like that your brothers are... South Asian?

Nice.

Well put.

This is a ridiculous thread for many, many reasons. :mad::mad::mad:

I forgot to add this when I left that post.

A few years ago, my chapter extended a bid to a girl who many might call morbidly obese. She was a RA and good friends with a lot of collegians who liked her. Anyway, she got a bid. Some of our snarky alums just couldn't help but talk amongst themselves about her, and I overheard one say, "a girl like that wouldn't get a bid on my campus." :rolleyes:

I enjoyed her company whenever she came with us to football games and bars. She's ridiculed everywhere she went, and sometimes I was also ridiculed just by being with her. That didn't matter because she's a sister and we share the same sisterhood and she wears the same Badge I do. To this day, I admire her for her strength to put up with society's bullshit.

To the OP, if you can't get past the fact that these guys won't help you pick up girls, then you might want to re-check what brotherhood means to you.

Do you have any sort of new member education? Stress the important of getting involved in campus with things that don't involve video games and speaking english like a normal person.

Do you call yourself a "fob"?

I'm not sure if BetteDavisEyes knew you're Asian.

Still, it disappoints me even more to hear Asians call their fellow Asians that.

My mom came to America over 30 years ago. She got her degree and worked her way up in her company. Still, she has that Filipino accent. She gets called 'FOB' all the time, mostly by Asian kids born here.

Just because you're Asian doesn't mean it's right to use it.

Well, you can give your discriminatory attitude whatever name you like, it's still small-minded, defamatory and ugly.

No, what you have going is something called SELF-HATRED.

I feel very, very sorry for you, and I hope that one day you can get past this poor attitude of yours and learn to love who you are.

Oh, ok, then, that's much better. Behind-the-back ridicule and dislike. Much easier. And more tasteful.
Hilarious!

Wow. You are something else. *smh*

Good move taking your first name out of your signature, btw.

here's my point WDC said that all Asians don't like other Asians. ok we all understand that. Nittany before that you said that it's small minded, defamatory, and ugly. So what I want to ask you is why are you jumping down WDC's throat because it's a comment about Asians,
when you have white people doing it to other white people all the time ??? ( i.e. the school playground, politics, etc... ) but you're not saying anything about that???? just wondering.

Um, I just saw it earlier in this thread because I was amazed someone would spout what you were spouting with your first name and your letters right underneath.

oooooh ok.

i was like WHOA HOLD UP! that's all.

Because nobody's said anything specifically derogatory about white people (yet). Would you like to start? Or would you be better off going back to sucking up to the southern chapters of the sororities that you plan to rush in the fall? I already have my letters so I have less to lose. You'd really have to watch yourself in that conversation...

i said i was just wondering and then i commented after you commented and was like ooooo ok.

sorry ok.

Oh, SEC, don't start. We're done here and you're just trying to stir the pot.

Okay, I've been reading all the posts and...

1) Already admitted I'm sort of superficial.

2) I have plenty an idea of what brotherhood means. I've driven 50 miles at 3am to help out a brother who was stranded in the middle of no where with no money and a busted car.

3) I clearly have my bro's backs, whether they act like me or not. I'm sure they do too...well maybe not in a fight...but else wise. I would never let anyone seriously disrespect any of them.

4) The question posed was how do you reposition a fraternity's reputation. We're being talked about on campus as the fat fobby nerdy fraternity. And when you look at some of our brothers you see that's true. However, we also have some really sharp, motivated, sociable, athletic brothers in the fraternity, albeit a few. However, when you have a majority of the bros not really presenting themselves as well as they could, what do you do to turn around the image of the fraternity and appeal during rush to the not so fat/fobby/nerdy kids.

5) Look- I don't need anyone's validation on if I'm a non-racist or not. I know I'm not and that's all that matters. I have no problem with people with accents, fat people, or smart people. But you're not being true to yourself if you say that reputation doesn't matter when it comes to a fraternity doing well on campus. You know damn well it does.

greekone, first you have to take most of what is said on GC with a grain of salt. Many think this is a good place to position themselves as faultless/perfection. When we all know that's not true.

Second, it is VERY hard for a fraternity to change their image. Mainly, you will need a lot more members then just you to agree that a change is needed. Which, may be impossible (especially if a majority of the house is already made up of the type that you are trying to change from :rolleyes:

The guys you usually hang out with in the house, what do they think of the house makeup? Perhaps this group should go out for some beers and discuss this. See if you all even have common ideas. They may be fine with it as is, and like the diversity.

What is sounds like to me is you should have probably joined one of the traditional national GLO's ;)

Are you the only South Asian Fraternity on campus or are there other South Asian Fraternities on campus (i.e. recruiting from the same pool of students)?

I went to a very large school with a very large Greek community, and we only had one South Asian Fraternity. We also had one South Asian sorority, two Asian-interest fraternities, and two Asian-interest sororities.

From my experience, the girls that came to college already knowing about sororities were the ones who were looking for a NPC sorority experience. And therefore, my sorority wouldn't have been right for them. So the pool of students we were recruiting from were the girls that either didn't know what sororities were or girls who had only heard the stereotypes. As such, recruitment for us can sometimes be much more of an uphill battle than for the NPC sororities.

I imagine that South Asian fraternities may face similar difficulties too. And if there are other South Asian fraternities, then there is the added challenge of differentiating your org from the others. "Unfortunately" :rolleyes:, since you are probably recruiting from a pool of students that doesn't know that much about what fraternities are, you are going to have a higher percentage of "fobs" than the IFC/NIC fraternities.

The South Asian fraternity on my campus was pretty well respected. They had some guys that spoke with accents but they still had a good reputation (and did well with recruitment) because they exemplified what Greek Life should be about. They won awards at Greek Oscars. They did a lot of community service. They did well academically. They had brothers on MGC exec board. They made an effort to have events with other orgs in MGC (not just socials but also community service projects).

Another thing that they did that was impressive was their dances. Every year, there is an Asian Awakenings show (different Asian orgs perform dances, songs, or skits). The guys in the South Asian fraternity always put on an awesome performance every year.

What attracted you to the idea of joining a South Asian fraternity? If you describe yourself as not very cultural (which I presume to mean that you don't identify strongly with your South Asian background), why did you join a culturally based fraternity? Figure out what brought you there and try to perpetuate that.

Have you discussed as a chapter what you are looking for in new brothers? Are you in the minority of wanting more brothers with better social skills? Is there a sharp divide in the chapter? If you want to find men with good social skills, you need to think about where you would find them. Leaders student government, members of performing groups (comedy groups, a capella groups etc), leaders of cultural groups, RAs, will generally have good social skills. Also, ask female friends if they know any men that would make good members, since women can be a good judge of social skills.

What is your purpose as a chapter? You can embrace the diversity within your chapter, as the "fobs" and the "Americanized" brothers have different things to offer each other. Perhaps you can help the "fobs" with their social skills and in turn the "fobs" can help you become more acquainted with your South Asian background.

ETA: Also, are you having events to make yourself visible to the Greek community and the rest of the campus? Share your culture with the community! This will help develop social skills and in turn, help you meet potential members, not to mention, you might have a good time too.

You may not have meant to offend but your original post just seemed like you look down on "fobs". To me, it came across like you thought they were annoying, perpetuating stereotypes, embarrassing, good for a laugh, and nothing more than that...like they have no deeper human worth. I'm sure you're a nice person and from your other posts on other threads, it doesn't seem like you're a callous or malicious person. But your first post did come across like you thought you were better than them and didn't think much of them.

Without "fobs" paving the way, you and I and millions of young Asian-American women would not have the privilege of going to college, the privilege of getting good jobs, the privilege of buying/owning property, or the privilege of having the same rights/protections/freedoms as our Caucasian counterparts.

There are soooooo many countries around the world where it's so dangerous to be a women or to be a racial/ethnic minority...where they don't have the rights and protections that we have here in the US.



ETA: My point in posting isn't to make you feel bad. I know you already apologized. I just wanted to share how your post came across because I think sometimes we post things and the tone other people read is different than the tone intended. Such as my re-reading what I wrote above. I see that it may be taken as being harsh, but I'm not intending to be harsh. Just sharing how your post can be taken from a different perspective than you had probably intended.

This hits home 110%.

I'm glad I have living examples in my mom, aunts, and uncles to remind me of this.

She said she's sorry. What do you want her to do? Cut her e-finger, and give you some e-blood?

SOPi_jawbreaker and violetpretty-

Your posts were both very helpful. Thank you.

SOPi...I know of the fraternity that you're talking about if indeed you're from PSU. We're actually very similar to them here, albeit not as active in shows and such. Perhaps that's where we can place our efforts.

Violetpretty...I joined a South Asian fraternity, because unfortunately at my school everyone creates cliques along racial lines and that goes for Greek life as well. If I wanted to, I would have been the only South Asian person at most of the NIC/IFC fraternities. You made a lot of really good points. We're definitely for diversity and being cultural and well-rounded is a part of what our fraternity stands for. Even though it seems like we're a bit too cultural at this point, I can definitely see us interchanging our strong points.

The brothers that felt we needed an image repair actually did at one point get a brotherhood trip to the mall in an effort to get the not so cool lookin guys to up their image a bit (of course we didn't tell them this). Although, this ultimately failed because the brothers that needed it the most ironically thought they didn't need to shop ("I have enough clothes"), but it was a good time just hanging with them.


And a lot of this has to do with experience. When Doves Cry said she's sorry and I'm sure she's a nice person. She's also probably had experiences other people (Mostly non-Asian) haven't had such as when "fobs" try too hard to fit in to their counterpart Asian clique that's Americanized and that may be where she got her perception of them being annoying. I understand we have to be PC all the time these days, but it just makes it harder to get to the issue. Of course not all of them are annoying and I know When Doves Cry knows that, but try to understand where she might have been coming from I guess.

And just because we don't think fobs are cool doesn't mean we don't appreciate what our parents have done for us.

SOPi_Jawbreaker,

What's the difference between a South Asian fraternity and an Asian-interest fraternity? You know I went to school/was brought up in hick heaven and this is all new to me.

We used to have the same problem with one of our sisters continually asking her weird (I tried to think of a nicer word, but there really isn't one - we were pretty open minded, and these chicks were even weird to us) friends to our open bid parties. The best way is to make all parties invite only and tell the guys they need to give you the names and addresses of anyone to invite. If they keep inviting guys that the rest of the brothers do NOT want to bid, just tell them "hey, these guys aren't going to get bids, it isn't fair to keep getting their hopes up."

Unless, of course, the rest of the fraternity DOES want to bid these guys. Then you're kind of stuck.

Well, I probably should have been typing South Asian-interest all along to be truly correct but I was being lazy. But anyways, from what I've seen at PSU, the South Asian-interest GLO's are largely composed of students from South Asia (India and other countries in that region) whereas the Asian-interest GLO's are largely composed of students from East Asia (China, Korea, Japan, etc.). Of course, all the GLO's are open to students of all ethnic/cultural backgrounds. However, the programs/workshops, philanthropies, and community services of the South Asian-interest GLO's may differ from those of the Asian-interest GLO's to better service the South Asian community more specifically.

To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

And truly, these guys you're pledging haven't really spent time learning about American pop culture and the way of life here. Heck, back home they'd be the cool ones and you'd be that weird ABC (fyi for those who're scratching heads, American Born Chinese). If you don't like the image your fraternity has, why don't you organize some high profile bonding activities - such as pick up game of football on a lawn or something similar? You'd be bonding the fraternity together, perhaps teaching this American sport to some who'd never heard of it before, and publicity if you're wearing your letter. Maybe it's not so much the guys when they first join, but what they do after they've been in the fraternity for a while.

I'll bet we were all fob's (for lack of better word) to some degree when we first entered college, and changed as the years went on. Feel good that you have the opportunity to welcome your brothers to another culture. =)

You know...it kind of sounds like YOU'RE the one out of place here. Maybe you just joined a group you didn't fit with. It happens. If it IS the case, I sincerely doubt you can change an entire fraternity to fit you. You may just have to roll with the punches and remember that it's not just about image, and girls, and that you can go to the bar with people who aren't in your fraternity.

Yeah I don't think I'm happy here anymore. The fraternity no longer fits the purpose I've set for myself inside. A lot of red tape, conservatism, and just overall blah and I need to keep moving on and find a place I really fit. I feel so stagnant right now and everything is repetitive. Not even fitting in with these guys anymore as conflicts arise. Used to be one of only two guys that were the most dedicated and running the fraternity. Now losing a lot of my motivation. Guess this isn't the place to be. Wish I could start my own fraternity...oh well.

So that's the answer these days? If you don't like the organization you pledged a committment to, just drop it and start a new one?:rolleyes:

^Well, if you'd like to stop posting, I won't get in your way. How's that? OMG!!!! :)

The point is that instead of saying "you should try harder in the fraternity you pledged instead of abandoning it...life isn't perfect," you said "sounds great...it will be hard work but could work out!!!!!!" Like you're a cheerleader. ;)

There seems to be a new fraternity or sorority everytime I turn around--usually locals but some are attempting national status. New organizations aren't bad--our orgs were considered new years ago--but there are some really lame and cowardly reasons for starting a new organization.

But that's what you typed. If you didn't mean that, you shouldn't have co-signed on the OP's comment.

LOL!

Uh...there are plenty of cheerleaders who aren't the "cheerleader type" with every discussion.

You can be positive and encouraging without sacrificing honesty and straightforwardness.

I guess stating the obvious (the possibility of starting a new fraternity) is as honest and straightforward as it gets. :)