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Chuck Norris's Recruitment Story
I know many of you have wondered why Chuck Norris is on GC. Well, Chuck Norris is a PNM who just decided to join a sorority. Yes, that’s right – a sorority. You might ask, why not join a fraternity? But that would be stupid. Fraternities are just sausage fests and Chuck knows how to please the ladies. Watch out beeotches – here comes Chucky.
So, in the spirit of all things GC… Chuck has decided to share his LIVE recruitment story with y’all. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/108/b...769189@N00.jpg |
The following are the organizations that Chuck Norris will visit:
Sigma Sigma Sigma Phi Mu Kappa Alpha Theta Kappa Kappa Gamma Zeta Tau Alpha Pi Beta Phi Note that Chuck is not using fake girly code names like “Candy Cane” or “Brownie” or whatever. |
Chuck won't get cut and he won't have to conform to the "do's and don'ts."
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Round 1: Open House
Sigma Sigma Sigma – Chuck isn’t so sure he’s into sailing (wouldn’t want to run into John Kerry), but thought he’d give these girls the benefit of the doubt. Especially because they were SOOOO cute and SOOOO nice, you know? Chuck really felt like he clicked with these girls, although in a really generic and ambiguous way. Phi Mu - The “tent talk” was crazy about this group, but Chuck felt a little ignored by these girls and isn’t so sure he fit in very well. There was this other PNM that totally monopolized the conversation around her and her Dad’s famous business, and then the members couldn’t stop talking long enough for Chuck to get a word in. Chuck got really upset and started punching the girls in super black-belt style, then Chuck round kicked a couple more. Chuck’s Rho Chi talked to Chuck about anger management afterwards. Chuck now has a new Rho Chi. Kappa Alpha Theta – Chuck spent 10 minutes at this house, thought they were really nice and pretty. And man, would Chuck like to get to know Sheryl Crow better. But then someone mentioned that the flower was the Pansy. Chuck said “What?!” and stormed out. Chuck is not a pansy. Kappa Kappa Gamma – Chuck liked that this group had THREE symbols: an owl, a key, and some weird French flower. Owl’s are predators, so that’s cool. And if you put keys in between your fingers, they become weapons, which is really sweet. Chuck likes weapons. Chuck really can’t remember the girls very well after this first round because Chuck was thinking about punching Phi Mus with keys basically the whole time. Zeta Tau Alpha – Chuck felt pretty good about this group. The conversations were very comfortable and the girls were SOOOO cute and SOOOO nice, you know? Chuck really felt like he clicked with these girls, although in a really generic and ambiguous way. Before Chuck knew it, it was time to go. So Chuck left with his crown-topped cupcake. One of the sisters stopped Chuck, though, and said “Our rules keep us from letting you take that cupcake.” Chuck looked at her blankly and said, “My rules say I’m taking this cupcake… and yours.” Chuck left with two cupcakes and ate them both. Pi Beta Phi - Chuck admits he is predisposed to liking Pi Beta Phi because their symbol, an arrow, is a weapon. Chuck likes weapons, although his fists are ten times deadlier than any man-made weapon like an arrow or M-16. Chuck brought this up with one of the girls who seemed really impressed by Chuck’s knowledge of ammunition, reloading techniques and, of course, Japanese death stars. Chuck told her “you should be really impressed.” At the end of the day, Chuck had to rank the houses and drop one. Chuck dropped Phi Mu, as he was pretty sure he would not be invited back anyway, as many of the girls were taken to the hospital. |
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What did you wear, Chuck?
It's important to note that Phi Mu didn't reject Chuck. Chuck rejected Phi Mu. |
I'm rooting that Chuck is cross-cut so then we get to see him try to unleash his fists of fury on the whole panhellenic community...
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Oh Em Gee, I TOTALLY know where Chuck is rushing. I just thought I should point that out to make it look like I'm cool or something like that. But I won't say where, because that might ruin Chuck's rush. Even though I've already made it clear that it's possible to figure out the university by the clues given if you have 8000 hours on your hands to research.
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I'm rooting for Zeta Tau Alpha because they served cupcakes and he took 2. http://www.pledgepark.com/images/smilies/rockon.gif |
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Is he at someone's alma mater and is the timing perfect for when their alma mater does rush? Keep it secret, Chuck, don't wanna have to unleash more whoop ass. |
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Chuck knows you're thinking "capris and cowboy boots?" But trust Chuck... it worked. Also, Chuck wrote his own recs to all of the houses. |
Now *this* is a recruitment thread. Genius. Pure genius.
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LMAO.
And this should probably be added to that 'what not to do during rush' thread Quote:
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I'm loving this thread too. Can't wait for more. I agree, this is officially my favorite recruitment thread by far!!!:D
btw, I love Chuck Norris (the real actor) and I could totally see him going through recruitment like this. This would make a great SNL or Mad TV spoof. :p |
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One of Zeta's colors is gray. How about yellow?
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LOL.
Chuck doesn't get embarassed. Embarass gets Chucked. You stick out like a sore thumb, anyway, wear any color you please. |
Damn straight CrimsonTide. Zeta and Theta can both change their colors. Tomorrow Chuck will be sporting both black and gray.
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No purple, white, pink, black, yellow/gold, dark blue, light blue, turquoise, grey, wine or silver blue. That leaves red (as long as it's not straying toward pink or wine), orange, and green. So, a Christmas sweater, Irish flag, and flame patterns are all good. |
I have to say that I received my first rejection letter to a school today and was really donw until I read this. now I can't stop laughing and the guy who is sitting a few chairs away from me at the coffee shop I am at keeps looking at me like I am insane. i have to add that I want more, PLEASE!!
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This rivals Senusret's intake thread (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=87575 ).
I never actually LOL at a rush description except for these 2. |
Good luck Chuck!!!
I hope you find the house of your dreams!!! |
Chuck, your recruitment story roundhouse-kicks ass!
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Comedy, Suspense, Western...this thread has it all
Two thumbs up! I have my popcorn and I'm waiting on the next round. Let the battle to begin!
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Best recruitment thread EVER!
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Best thing I've ever seen on the internet.
Ever. |
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BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! |
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I want to see what craft projects Chuck does for Philanthropy Day.
Just make sure all the pointy scissors are put away... Chuck -- do you have a white dress all picked out and ironed for Prefs??? |
I am strongly rooting for ZTA. How kickass would it be to have Chuck Norris as a sorority sister??
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I'm bummed there's no Gamma Phi chapter - Chuck would look GREAT in brown and mode!
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