A Recruitment Reality Check
 

In no way is this a bitter post- I feel like what happened during my recruitment was just meant to be. But I do feel since I was once a lurker, that a realistic story of recruitment needs to be told, one that doesn't end in a bid.

My southern school has 8 chapters. The first day you go to all 8, then max 5, max 3, and max 2. I was a legacy, and though that doesn't mean too much, I wasn't invited back past the second day. Therefore, future recruitment goers- do not rely on being a legacy, it doesn't mean you get a bid. As far as grades, even if you have the required 2.5 or 2.75 or whatever it may be, it does matter how high/low it is.

Though you may feel like you had a great conversation and chemistry at a certain house, that does not justify that you'll be invited back the next day.

During my preference day, I had two houses. One I absolutely had grown to adore. I walked in and the gal that picked me up was the same I had talked to the day before. She told me how she was so excited to have had seen my name on the list for today, how she thought I was the epitome of an ABC and how she could not wait to be sisters, we were so alike. I felt very good leaving, and ended up feeling very lead on.

Come bid day morning, I did not receive a bid.

I just want to tell this brief story, because I wish I had read something like it before my recruitment. Knowing that it was not all excitement and joy and not ending in a happy place would have been ideal.

I do hope that those that are going to go through recruitment still have a blast, and it's truly a once in a lifetime experience.

I am so sorry things did not work out better for you. We always hate to hear of an unhappy ending, but you do make several good points. Thanks for sharing.

How was it that you got to Preference after not being invited back pas the second day?

I think she meant she wasn't invited to her legacy house past the second day.

I was about to ask the same thing.

Also, just because you have the minimum CAMPUS GPA doesn't mean you have the minimum for each sorority.

You can analyze your experience to death and try to figure out what went wrong. You may never know.

Maybe she was saying for the house she was a legacy for, she wasn't invited back the second day yet continued to go through recruitment and went to pref for 2 houses?

Thanks for the clarification!

I have a tendency to read entire posts, but for some reason I tend to overlook a sentence or two! :o

No problem, I do the same too, I'll read something and I'll need to re-read it to get the details down.

To add to the advice and warning, PNMs should keep in mind that the girls from the group are rushing you, wanting to make you want the group. Short of actually promising a bid, which would be a recruitment violation, their job is to make you see yourself in the group and want the group.

If they are good rushers, you're going to believe that they want you. They aren't going to seem disinterested having you are a member, even if they intend to cut you.

Additionally, no one member can really make it for you, really. But if you make it to prefs, the group probably really does want you.

Did your school not offer guaranteed placement after the preference round? You said you went to 2 preference parties. Did you only put one group on your bid card? Maybe I misread your post.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry that it didn't work out for you, and I appreciate the courage it took for you to share it.

Though rare, there are instances where girls pref 2 groups and still don't get bids. Think about it, it's what could happen in the rare event that a girl is not high enough on either her first or second choices' list, is not matched as a quota addition, and either doesn't get any snap bid offers or doesn't accept one. As you can see, it takes a very specific set of circumstances.

While I think the OP did make some good points like the ones KSU mentioned, I don't feel like any of them are "new" or compelling reasons to start a post like that. I don't know... something about the way it was written rubbed me the wrong way. We've seen several pnms end up bidless or dropping out or even rushing unsuccessfully more than once so it's not like every recruitment story on here is sunshine & roses.

Yes, being a legacy is great, but at some schools (mostly "Southern" schools that I've read about) that doesn't hold a lot of weight because they have 300 chapter/sorority legacies going through rush for each house on campus.

Depending on how "Southern" this school is, having the minimum GPA won't get you very far because most all of those groups may have stellar chapter GPAs to keep up.

And while we hate to see people not finding their Greek homes, I don't think that people are intentionally "lead on" to get their hopes blown to smitterings come Bid Morning. Maybe it's just me thinking the people in the houses are nicer than that, but being invited to Pref night means the sisters would really like to call you their sister... but sometimes crazy things happen and the pnm doesn't match with one or more of the houses that she ranked due to cross-cutting/bid list placement/etc.

I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you had hoped. If you're at the school I think you're at, your rush can be described as very competitive and has been discussed in a number of threads here. There are also tons of general recruitment threads on GC that relate to all the issues you mentioned, and I guess I am a little mystified about how you could have missed them if you've been lurking here for any length of time.

You are exactly right on all accounts. There are still many campuses that (a) do not utilize the new RFM and/or (b) stick very close to the 5% rule in the Green Book. Last fall, NPC passed a resolution allowing RFM Specialists to go over the 5% rule if necessary to place more women - still taking into account pre-recruitment chapter size and PNM preference.

This will prevent a lot of these situations from happening. I've seen it firsthand many many times on my campuses - especially before RFM. There were always a handful of fantastic women who had a full Pref schedule but went bidless. Most of the time they were attending Preference at "desirable" chapters which led to the problem - as strong recruiting chapters close their bid lists very early, leaving many names to go. This is the point behind RFM - to keep the strong recruiting chapters from having way too many women on their bid list.

I think I know which school the OP goes to and I believe that when the PNMs sign up they sign a document electronically that state s that by going through recruitment you are not guaranteed a bid, and that is even if you attend 2 pref parties. It shouldn't happen - but it does.

As for the GPA requirement, we have often seen on these boards that even if a PNM has a minimum of a 2.75 to sign up for recruitment, each individual sorority may have their own minimum which is often higher than the mimimum of a 2.75. Often sororities will not disclose that information because it is part of their membership selection.

As for your legacy status, and if you are at the campus where I think you are at, there are certain groups who may have more legacies than qouta will allow. Some of those legacies will get cut. Also, each sorority has their own legacy policy and just because it is a female relative (aunt, cousin, etc), doesn't mean you are a legacy according to that chapter's policy.

It could have been that she was absolutely truthful - SHE wanted you to be a sister, she just didn't have much "currency" in the chapter when it came time for bids.

This is one of the things I think would be horrid about big rushes and talking to mainly the same girl the whole time - it's a crap shoot as to who you get.

Exactly!

And since this was at prefs, it's also likely she was sincere but had no idea where the OP might end up on the final bid list. I don't know of any groups that don't honestly see the girls they pref as strong potential members.

I can understand where you are coming from when you say that you felt like you have been led on, but coming from a sister that has been on the voting side I would like to say things aren't as cut & clear as you'd like to think. I've seen some of my sisters fight hard for certian pnms they loved while other sister couldn't care less for them. It sounds to me that this girl really liked you since she was paired up with you twice.

Also, I don't know how your other pref party went, but if you were really sold on house abc, then maybe you didn't put your best foot forward at xyz for some reason and you got lost in the crowd of other pnms going to that house.

I think it's important for PNMs to realize that its not just about being a nice girl and fitting in with the organization. Sometimes you have to make yourself stand out in a good way, so when sisters got to vote they say "Oh Yeah... I remember Jane Doe I really like her." In colleges with humongous(sp) amounts of PNMs going through you can be forgotten just like that. I went to a school with a smaller greek system and I still had trouble remembering all the girls... I would only remember the girls that really seperated themselves.

i dunno know, but i feel like this post was written just to cast a dark cloud over the recruitment treads. I feel like girls know that there is a chance that they might be released, but they just wanted to have a positive attitude and not have their recruitment experiences dampened by constant fear.

the girls who write here are nervous and scared and excited all at once. threads like this will not make them feel better if they are released from rush, but will make them even more worried than they already are.

It's a fine line that has to be walked. On the one hand, you want to give encouragement to pnms. On the other, they need to have a realistic expectation about the process. We've all seen the pnms who are absolutely sure they will get into their legacy house, or the one with all their friends, or just whichever one they want, who are disappointed when they are dropped. I think the most important thing, which we certainly repeat like a mantra, is have an open mind.

There is at least one story like this on this board that has been here since the summer. I know because I wrote it and it's my story.

You'll survive. There are other orgs out there. I'm confident you'll find your place somewhere!

Alterego, I'm so sorry to hear your story. I remember back when I was in school and girls got the dreaded call that they has been cross cut, and I know that it is devastating.

Back then, we were able to make quota additions for upperclassmen, so many girls who had been cross cut went through again as sophomores and juniors and joined an organization. I'm not sure if that is still the policy, but you might consider going through again. You'll get to know many girls who will go to bat for you over the spring and fall.

When I was a senior, my rush "honey" was a junior who had been cross cut freshman year, didn't rush soph year, but decided to give it a go junior year. I fought like heck for her and she became my little sis that spring :)

Good luck to you!!

Is this thread somehow related to the Veniceissinking thread bumps and vague hints?

No ma'am. :)

AFAIK, AlterEgo's thread has nothing to do with the thread bumps. :cool:

Soliloquy and VeniceIsSinking attended the same school, but Soliloquy noted that VeniceIsSinking transferred schools and decided not to go through recruitment in this post. Who knows if VeniceIsSinking transferred to the school that AlterEgo goes to, but by "decided to not go through recruitment" I would presume that Venice's new school has a fall FMR and not spring like AlterEgo's school.

She didn't transfer schools.

VeniceIsSinking never left, guys.

You mean...

VeniceIsSinking = Soliloquy?

:confused:

So in other words...

Venice sunk.

Backfat is back?


BTW, that reminds me - me and all my backfat glory might be showing up on TV soon. Details forthcoming at a later date....

I really had no intentions of coming back, until someone informed me that these speculations were being spread all over the board.

First off, I am NOT venice. I am her friend, we used to be really good friends. We attended the same school and she transfered after the final semester due to a better program being offered there. Her new school has only 3 groups to chose from and she didn't feel comfortable enough to go through rush at this particular university. Plus the program she transferred into is so demanding, she wouldnt have time anyway.

Secondly, I don't know why you would think we are the same person. So because I never came back to let you flame me after you destroyed my thread for bullcrap reasons, you decided to continue to tarnish my name? Why? Because I called certain people out for being hypocritical? Hey, guess what I said my first post? That Venice told me about the site. Didn't I just say we were good friends?

Oh and in regards to the last posts of my thread: The most negative thing I said about my greek system was that it was silly for them to promote a recruitment event without knowing 100% that it was ok for them to have it. And uh.. there's nothing wrong with saying that.. because it's the truth. I also wouldn't rely on the timelines in my thread. Maybe I left a day out? Maybe we had ice water parties in the summer? None of you know for sure. There was no reason for people to get so throughly offended by my remarks because I've never been anything but sincere and (generally) nice to people here. Especially enough so to accuse me of not being me and then to attempt to seek me out. Click my post history and lets see exactly what I've done or said that would justify an internet witch-hunt. You'll find nothing. If I HAD been rude or such, I might feel like I deserve it- but I don't deserve this treatment.

I'd ask you to kindly let the past be the past and to realize that there are more things to life that are important then someone you've never met before- a person on the internet. In the long run, how will I affect your life? Um, I probably won't. I would say nearly all of you are older than me, so once again I'll ask- how do I affect your life? You likely have established careers, families and lives. Why are you spending time on trying to figure out who I am? Especially for unjustifiable reasons.

Now I'm done. If you're that deadset on continuing to bash me- be an adult and PM me. My email provider will notify me of the message.

It's funny how it was one of your "GC friends" who outed you. Apparently you signed your first name to a PM you sent her. (GCers, be careful of who you trust on GC) She was able to find you through your campus network, and oh hey -- the girl in your MySpace pictures looked EXACTLY like the girl in the Wedding Gowns thread with the tattoos! I don't understand why you just couldn't keep posting as VeniceIsSinking. Because AlphaFrog said you had backfat?

I'd post the links here, but now that really would be violations of the ToS :rolleyes: . I remember seeing the links posted and I thought to myself, "Un-Freaking-Believable." I wish I could take credit for them, but I can't. My guess is that people are so interested in you because they don't want you joining their organization. They'll stop at nothing to make sure that happens -- even if it means finding out your identity so they can warn their sisters on your campus with multiple no-recs.

But hey, I'll admit that you have a lot of balls. You came back "one last time" to try and make people believe that you're not VeniceIsSinking. Nice attempt.

Best wishes and enjoy your new "elite position," #507! (And thanks for so conveniently editing your post without the 'OTW') :)

Yeah... No.

See, OTW is correct. VIS didn't transfer. Her and Soliloquy both signed their pms with the same name. One was sent to me a LONG time ago and another to someone else. We knew something was up with them having the same name. Thing is -- there were SO many other people who also knew something was up that it was easy to put the pieces together.

So, Soliloquy Is Sinking, you can deny, deny, deny, but you are the one who outed yourself by signing your name to your pm's under both usernames. That isn't what bothers me. I can understand why you used another name. But, to lie and say that VIS transferred is just plain dumb. And, your attitude regarding sororities and how they will want you now SUCKS. THAT is why people on here were determined to keep you out of their group. And, don't worry -- my group isn't on your campus. It wasn't me. It was just a ton of others who didn't want to call you a sister. I am guessing that you being married didn't help things, either.

You want to know why us mean sorority girls don't like you and what it was that made us want to find out about you? Read a summary of your posts and decide for yourself.
http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showpo...13&postcount=1 The part about disliking a philanthropy was awful.

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showpo...&postcount=171

Back to the original post. Like everyone else it saddens me when I hear a recruitment story that did not end happily. However something jumped out at me in the original post that I feel is worth mentioning.This line suggests to me the OP had the minimum Panhellenic avg to go through Recruitment but probably not much higher. It's a mistake for anyone to use that as a guide especially on a competitive campus. Instead you should find out what the previous few semesters Panhellenic GPA was and what the Chapter(s) that interests you earned.

If those Chapter(s) have a 3.0 GPA or higher, it's a fairly safe assumption they'll be looking for PNM's with at least a 3.0 from HS. One also assumes that college level courses will be harder than HS. The Chapter(s) want members who are capable of succeeding in college and contributing positively to their overall GPA rankings.

The bolded bit upsets me. I know that each school has its minimum GPA and each sorority has its national minimum, which is often higher, and that some individual chapters may have even higher GPA requirements than what nationals sets. However, it bothers me when the minimum for each chapter, regardless of at what level it's set, isn't disclosed to PNMs beforehand. They should know that going in so they can make educated decisions about the chapters and not get their hopes up unrealistically. I think having that info privileged because it's "part of MS" is, frankly, BS.

Now I can imagine another scenario: a chapter has a minimum GPA of 3.0. They've already made all their cuts after first round and still have more women than release figures allow them to invite back, so they go through and cut those with the lowest GPAs until they reduce the list to its appropriate size. Say they weren't able to stop until they hit 3.15, making that their effective chapter minimum. That number, I agree, would be part of MS. If that's what was being talked about here, then I'm cool. But for a chapter to say, "We have a minimum GPA and it's confidential, sorry," is really crappy.

Agreed. W&L did disclose all the individual chapter's requirements beforehand. It always shocked me that some PNMs who met the bare minimum Panhel requirement to participate (2.0), but fell below all the individual chapter's GPA (I think the lowest one was a 2.25--actually maybe all the groups but one had a 2.25) requirements would still participate!

I understand what you are saying, but if it is part of membership selection -- as I have heard it is for some sororities, its up to the individual sorority to make that decision whether or not to advise the PNMs. Bottom line that membership selection is confidential, some people will say that thats crappy too.

Like I said before, I think I know where the OP goes to school and the GPAs for almost all the sororities are all over a 3.0. Obviously, some must be lower than a 3.0 to get that average, but when you have a large percentage of PNMs with high GPAs, unfortunately, the girls with lower ones could be very well on the bubble of being cut. Plus I am just putting it out there, but girls with lower GPAs could be scrutenized more carefully at more competitive campus'. You can have a girl with a 2.75, the minimum to rush, but she also holds an student government position, is involved with the student newspaper and plays a sport. Whereas, you can have a girl with a 2.75 who isn't involved in anything.

I would think most of us would agree that grade cuts usually come early on. The OP in this situation was cross-cut on bid day.