LilPNM's mini-recruitment thread
 

I've been mostly lurking for a few months, picking up wisdom and tips for LilPNM. Now it's finally time to tell her story. This will be short but, hopefully, sweet!

LilPNM will be the first to go Greek in our immediate family. She is a freshman at a private school in the South. Thanks to Greekchat, we knew we needed to obtain recs for each chapter at her school. Despite the fact that LilPNM's school has deferred rush, she kept a pretty open mind. She is not swayed by the appearance of the house, etc. (well at least not much). She is looking for close friends and a way to get involved. No one from LilPNM's high school attends her school, so she was a little bit lonely first semester.

Open houses were held in the fall and LilPNM connected with some of the girls from different houses, who invited her to coffee and so forth. I'm not too clear on what constitutes "dirty rush" but I don't think that happened to LilPNM. She didn't feel pressured by any of the girls. She did start really liking one of the houses, ABC, and so she had a clear favorite when formal began, though still trying to stay open minded.

More soon!

Are you her mom or are you the student speaking in third person?:confused:

first round of formal
 

I'm her mom - momofpnm. LilPNM is pretty busy right now :) but gave me the OK as long as I keep it very anonymous, though the fact that it's deferred probably narrows it down as far as schools.

LilPNM enjoyed first round very much. She liked something about each house and found it hard to rank. She ranked her favorite, ABC, first, but she also really liked DEF on the first day. After that, she couldn't decide. She cut for some pretty minor reasons and found out later that she had cut one of the "top" chapters at her school. LilPNM's group is stunned at her apparent lack of regard for social status, but momofpnm is secretly pleased...

duh,,, I didn't notice the username. I shall leave my post here as a shining example of my scatterbrainedness:D

second round
 

LilPNM picked up her schedule and was both excited and surprised. Surprised, because she had been cut by a group she felt she had connected pretty well with. Excited, because she still had a full schedule, including her two favorites!

Once again, LilPNM had a good time at each house. Each chapter at LilPNM's school is strong, but she was starting to see some differences in the groups that made it a little easier for her to rank. However, she now had a different problem. She had originally felt that ABC was her favorite. She made friends with several ABCs and they had really sold her on their sorority. But on the second day, she found herself drawn to DEF. She decided not to worry about it yet, turned in her rankings, and went back to her dorm, hopefully to rest.

go lilpnm!

Haha, I like LilPNM, I want to be her friend!

skit round
 

Thanks for the good wishes for LilPNM, ladies! Betsykate, I've been reading your thread too. I think you and LilPNM would make great friends!

LilPNM loved her outfit for skit round (it's the first day they really get to dress cute). She especially thought her shoes were amazing! She felt confident because she knew she had put her best foot forward during second round, and was actually looking forward to picking up her invites. However, cuts were harsh on this day. LilPNM reported lots of crying girls, even girls dropping out of recruitment altogether. She felt incredibly lucky that she did not receive any cuts, and would be returning to DEF first, then GHI, ABC, and XYZ.

DEF's house looked incredible. They had gone all out with their theme. The skit was cute, but not super special. LilPNM met quite a few girls and several said things like, "Oh, I've heard so much about you and had to meet you," etc. She thought the conversations went well. She left still feeling good about DEF.

GHI was next. By this time, LilPNM was not quite as clueless about the houses' social reputations as she was on day one! GHI is considered less desirable than the other houses on LilPNM's list, but they seem to have a strong sisterhood and LilPNM enjoyed the first two days there. Skit day, however, was just okay. She left knowing that if she was invited to pref here, she would be glad to go, but it wouldn't be a top pick.

Next was fabulous ABC. All the PNMs were talking about ABC. It's a top house and LilPNM was starting to get nervous. She has heard that many of the girls are "old money" (she isn't!) and looking around, it was easy to believe. The house and the girls were gorgeous. The skit blew LilPNM away. Afterwards, her best friend in ABC took her around to meet practically everyone and they were all so nice! She left still loving ABC!

Finally, XYZ, also a respected house with a strong national reputation. LilPNM felt that they would probably be her third choice, and she would pref here if she lost one of her top two - that is, if they asked her back. At least, she felt that way before skit round. She didn't tell me anything about the skit here, but the first girl LilPNM talked to was...well...mute. She barely spoke, looked around the room, and generally acted bored! After what seemed an eternity, she passed LilPNM off to another girl who was standing in a small group. LilPNM tried to join the conversation there, but the actives were all talking about their adventures out clubbing the night before. The PNMs finally just started talking to each other. LilPNM doesn't know if they just didn't like her or were having an off day, but it didn't matter - by this time she was tired, those great shoes were hurting her feet, and she couldn't wait to get out of there!

So after skit round, LilPNMs rankings were "alphabetical" - ABC, DEF, GHI, and XYZ.

pref day
 

After seeing what happened at pickup on skit day, LilPNM was feeling less confident about picking up her pref invites. She felt that she would have at least one of her favorites, but feared that she would lose one. When her rho chi handed her her schedule, she was surprised and relieved:
ABC
DEF
She had her top two choices!

I don't know many details about the pref parties. LilPNM said they were both incredible. At this point, she knew she loved both chapters and was trying to decide how she would make her final decision.
ABC: Again, the house looked so beautiful, and all the girls were stunning. Looking around the room, all the PNMs present were stunning as well. LilPNM was preffed by her friend. She left still loving ABC.
DEF: She said this party was a lot like ABC's, which didn't help her decision much! She had a good conversation with the girl who preffed her here. These girls just seem so genuine and sincere to LilPNM.

Afterwards, LilPNM walked back with the other girls to do her final ranking. The girls were told not to speak with one another (which I had never heard of, but it seems like a good idea). LilPNM was so torn. She truly loved both houses, though she loved different things about each one. She also felt that the girls in each house really wanted her. If she chose DEF, she knew her friends in ABC would be disappointed. ABC is a "top" house. But DEF is also a strong house, and for some reason, LilPNM just feels more comfortable there. LilPNM's rho chi just said, "Follow your heart."
Finally LilPNM wrote:
DEF
ABC
She left feeling that it was a win-win, either way.

I am so glad that she followed her heart! That's hard to do when you're 18!

waiting on pins and needles!!

a turn for the worse
 

Sorry - I wanted to run this by LilPNM before posting...

LilPNM grabbed something to eat and walked back to the dorm, relieved that it seemed to have gone so well and was all over. Little did she know. She went to the room of some friends on her floor, where several of the girls had been gathering each day to compare notes. When she told the girls how she had ranked, one of them upset her pretty badly. This girl, who had also preffed ABC, scolded her for “turning on” her friends in ABC by ranking them second. This stunned LilPNM, because her deepest fear throughout the week was that her new friends in ABC would feel betrayed if she went DEF.

Then another girl said, “I just hope you don’t get cross-cut, LilPNM.” Cross-cut? What was that?! LilPNM had never heard of it. The second girl explained that with LilPNM’s lack of connections in DEF, she was unlikely to be on their top bid list. DEF, while not “top two,” is a popular house and would be the first choice of many popular girls from big high schools, as well as legacies. Therefore, it was likely that LilPNM would not match with them before they made quota. Her name would then be put aside while ABC’s list was matched with all the girls who listed them #1. In the event that ABC failed to reach quota with girls who ranked them #1, then LilPNM could be matched to them. This girl, who incidentally was NOT invited to pref at ABC, obviously thought that was highly unlikely.

As the room erupted with questions and arguments about cross-cutting and how it worked, LilPNM slipped out, ran to her room, and called me. What if she had made a terrible mistake? She had hurt her friends, and now she wouldn’t get a bid at all! I told her that I didn’t think cross-cutting worked that way (though I didn’t know – I really don’t understand it either) and to get off campus for awhile. She took my advice, but she spent a miserable evening, and tossed and turned that night waiting for the phone call from her Rho Chi telling her not to bother to come to bid day.

Oh, yuck... please tell us the phone didn't ring this morning.

ETA: Girls can be so catty!

This is one of the reasons that they have "silence" (when you said the girls weren't to speak to each other).

It sounds to me like the other girl that preffed ABC was trying to uphold their social standing. In other words, it doesn't mean squat. Your D didn't turn on her friends. She followed her heart.

I wouldn't have her worried about cross-cutting (BTW...if you use search, you will be able to find it on the forum. Your D did exactly what she was suppose to do. Maximize her options.

If she gets DEF and her ABC friends are mad, well then, they are really not friends. If she gets DEF, she will make many new friends that will stand by her regardless of her future choices, and that is what is important.

So when is bid day?

to be continued soon I promise!
 

Benzgirl, that is pretty much what I told her! And I'm not trying to string this out, but I have to leave for awhile, so let me just say...no phone call! More as soon as possible!

Bid matching doesn't work that way anyway! If she is #1 on ABC's list and she doesn't put ABC first, she will get a bid to ABC before girls lower on ABC's list if she doesn't get a bid to her first choice. Putting ABC 2nd will not drop her to the bottom of the list. ABC's pref list does have some purpose. If they like LilPNM, they'll take her no matter where she puts them on her list and will never know that she didn't rank them first. (If, of course, the DEF girls are too stupid to take her!:p)

My analogy copied and pasted, might help you and lilpnm understand how bid matching works (trust me there is nothing to worry about):

I like to think of the first bid list as a "box". If you're in the box, order doesn't matter. If you're in the box you can be matched to that chapter. You stay in the box until you are matched somewhere. If you're not in the box, you "wait in line" (aka the second bid list). You stand in line in order. If you are the next one in line to go in the box, you can only move into the box if someone already in the box matches elsewhere.

I like Violetpretty's box anology. Also, your daughter can breath easy to know that very few people ever know if she is in the box or waiting in line. When I was in school, the ranking on the bid list was only known by maybe 3 people in our chapter of over 100 girls

that's how it was in my chapter. Amazingly no one ever found out either. No one knew about who was on the snap bid list either except those same people. We only found out about girls who were snap bidded by us if the new members volunteered the information.

bid day!
 

Thanks for the great explanation of bid matching, violetpretty. I wish I had understood it better before to explain it to her.

Because I went into a little more detail than I originally planned, LilPNM has asked me not to reveal her school. I’m sure some of the details have given it away to you GC super sleuths, but please don’t “out” LilPNM (and me)! On with the rest of the story…

LilPNM woke up to a beautiful morning with the realization that the phone had NOT rung, and therefore she had received a bid! All the nerves and anxiety of the previous day had brought out the worst in some of her hall mates the night before, but all was well as they prepared to go open their bids – you can imagine the excitement!

A few hours later, LilPNM stood with her group enduring the last bits of Panhellenic business and the Rho Chi reveal. At the signal, LilPNM opened her envelope and excitedly pulled out her bid to…

DEF!! Her first choice! After the usual jumping and squealing, LilPNM ran as fast as she could to meet her new sisters: the charming, beautiful, and genuine ladies of…









Haha, I learned this on GC!....












DELTA DELTA DELTA!!!!

She was showered with hugs and gifts and was so thrilled about spending her first night in the house with her new sorority sisters!

One last note: LilPNM says that her friends in ABC have been completely supportive and kind to her. Just what you would expect from those classy Pi Phis!

wahoo!! :)

aww yea! im so happy for your daughter and tri-delt

Congratulations to your daughter and Tri-Delta!

Terrific. That makes two new Tri Delts today. Your D and Little CareBear. Congratulations to you all

Congratulations to LilPNM and Delta Delta Delta!

I have no idea what campus this is or anything but would it be funny if the two were on the same campus together and didnt even know it!!! lol :)

Congratulations to Delta Delta Delta and LilPNM for finding a wonderful home and making great friends with some Pi Beta Phis along the way. :)

WOOHOOO!!Congrats to your daughter for finding her home with Tri Delta! :)

Yay congratulations to your daughter, and I'm so glad to hear that my Pi Phi sisters were so supportive of her and her decision!

OMG!!! We have another!!! Congrats to your daughter! :)

congratulations to your daughter on receiving a bid to tri delta and for having a great, supportive mom, too!!

Yay! Another new Delta- Congratulations!! :)