Communication
 

Ladies, would you be upset/mad if you found out that your man was texting and/or another female that you didn't know on a regular basis?

Gentlemen feel free to give your opinion.

You betcha.

But why? What if she was simply a friend?

Because it's a hazy line to cross and if it makes you uncomfortable, he should respect that. Is she single? Does she know he has a girlfriend? Why don't you know her? Can you meet her? How does he know her and why does he need to speak with her so frequently?

I think most men themselves would admit they have a difficult time seeing most women they like as "just" friends. If they're pulled toward a woman, there's likely to be another level of interest there, even if it just rests in the "curiosity" realm rather than anything long-term. I would also question the intentions of the female, if she knows he is involved with someone.

I wouldn't be instantly mad. There are so many possibilities here. How did you find out he was texting her? What is the nature of the text messages? How does he know her and for how long has he known her? My brother and I have been texting a lot since my mom died. If someone didn't know better, they might think something else.

I would be...for the same reasons na mentioned.

I wouldn't tolerate it.

He and I also don't have any friends that the other hasn't met or heard of.

There's absolutely no reason why an adult needs to be communicating with "friends" all the time. What is there POSSIBLY for a grown adult to constantly be talking about with "friends." He has a life but if this friend doesn't, she needs to find a life and live it. He better cut off the constant communication and let her find someone else to text...or a bridge to jump off. I don't care which she chooses.

Lmao @ DSTCHAOS

So many questions. Alright here's the situation. I have a friend from college that is a male and we happen to text each other quite often. He's back in his home town right now and is still texting me quite regularly. I feel slightly guilty about it and I'm trying to see the situation from his girlfriend's perspective.

If YOU feel slightly guilty about it (and you're not even the one in a relationship) then there is something to feel guilty about.

Stop it.

Ok, that's enough to info say yes, I would be mad if I was the girlfriend.

Because our emails are monitored at work and everyone can listen in on your phone conversations, we text each other on everything. Of course, you wouldn't know that if you didn't work with us.
My suggestion is the title of this thread: Communication with BF

There's this girl that is friends with both of us, but they knew each other first. She calls & texts him a lot. I don't really mind, but it annoys me when he's with me, and the whole time, he's on the phone with her. But then again, she kind of helps him with our (him & me) relationship.
Like once, when we were all together, he was kind of being mean and she was like "Stop being a dickhead!" cuz she could tell I was hurt, I guess.
So... I don't like it, but it has its benefits.. Haha

Get a new boyfriend who doesn't need some woman to counsel him on a regular. Preferably a grown man who has his own sense.

That woman needs to find her own man or a great hobby. Or both. Anything that keeps her occupied so she is no longer making herself your man's second girlfriend.

That's not a benefit, and she's not doing it for you. She's training him so that when she steals him, he'll be a nicer person to her than he is to you.

DTMFA.

lol

ETA: It depends. Now, if he was doing it because he was "bored"...that's another story.

Lmao. You're so funny.

What is DTMFA?

Oh! Thank you lol.

LMAO... I might have to use that!

This sounds about as true as FUBAR to describe a guy.:p

Well I guess I never noticed because he's so much better than my last bf who was (and still is apparently) a complete idiot when it came to relationships.

Its always a comparison issue. Better than your last may still not mean "good" on an objective scale. Thats a general comment by the way not an observation of your situation.

So the ex set the bar real low and you're content with a guy who is only 1" above that bar.

Okay. Good luck to you.

:eek:

If the gf doesn't know about you and you don't know about her, there could be a problem.

I have several very close guy friends that I talk to regularly, they've known me for years and we call each other brother and sister. My boyfriend has met them and knows them all. He also has similar persons in his life, whom I've met and/or heard about. Do I trust him? Totally. Does he trust me? Yes. Is it cool to text, yeah....in moderation.

HOWEVER, if the texting were to interfere with our relationship (read: texting said person while at dinner with me, running to the phone just to chat while with me, etc. or vice versa) that lead me/him to believe that something not-so-kosher is going on.

When you say, texts regularly, does that mean - all day? Once a day? Once a week?

I need more back story.

I mean, what are you texting to each other? If you were his gf, would you want those texts to be shown to you, would you be ok reading them? If not, there is your answer.

How long has the girlfriend been around?

and finally, if you feel guilty about it, then stop.

I agree with Infamous.

However, he is the one in the relationship so my question is does he not see a problem with it? I am not saying that you should sneak around with him or anyone else, but all you are doing is conversing with a friend, so there is nothing to worry about. If he does not see a problem with it you shouldn't either.

If I were the girlfriend I would be ticked, but that is not your position so chill out.:cool:

I know about her, basic information, but I don't know if she knows about me. When I say regularly, I mean everyday. Some days only 3 or 4 other days 50 - 80, maybe more.

Mostly random stuff. Different topics for different days. I wouldn't mind if she read, I stand by everything I say. Most of the conversations are jovial but there have been a few she might find questionable.

She's been with him for 2 or so years now.