Greek Social Life - Then and Now
 

I've got a son entering college next year and two daughters shortly thereafter, so I was wondering if any of the "older" GCers with kids in college can contrast the Greek social seen now versus say the late 70's to early 90's; i.e.: dating, mixers, alchohol vs. marijuana use, etc.
Chris

We were just discussing this last night with my niece who is a sophomore. She is not Greek, but attends many fraternity parties.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.


Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee


Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

Some of your "thens" sound a lot more like MY college experience than your "nows." The nows you are discussing are freaky, and I'm not sure they are the "norm" for Greeks "these days."

I know, it's spooky. Those contrasts came from a 19-year old. She is somewhat disgusted be what she saw in the dorms, but loves college anyway. I am aware of many similar responses from the smaller colleges near my home. The one that completely threw me was when she told me there was a "condom club". I didn't ask her to elaborate

Again, however, I want to reiterate that this is not the norm for college life these days... I'm sure it happens, a lot more than we would like to think, but let's not scare this poor parent into not wanting a child in a Greek organization "these days." That's really not fair to the organizations, at all.

Why not elaborate a bit more about your social scene when you were in college, and ask some of the GCers still IN college (not their parents) what it's really like for them? I think that might be a bit more productive, since there is NO possible way that parents could know all of what their children are doing.

Weren't they called "VDs" back then? And there were only 3 of them.

STD sounds more clinical than VD. VD seems to have a greater stigma.

You remind me of my aunt who thinks that all teenagers today have rainbow parties after hearing about it on Oprah. She OBVIOUSLY doesn't have kids.

I would say I more closely represent "now" rather than "then" since I graduated in May 2007. I'll provide some commentary.

Mostly accurate. We had a "party like a rockstar", my personal favorite. :) Also "Halfway to Halloween", "When I grow up", "Disney characters", New Years in November, Heaven and Hell,
Don't forget graffiti and stoplight themes as well. These would usually be fraternity parties rather than a sorority sponsored event.

My formals were much more like the "then". We usually had a dress swap a few weeks before formal, and most of us recycled at least one formal dress from high school (myself included). I don't recall anyone ever getting their hair or makeup professionally done, though we often did each other's hair and makeup. Renting a limo wouldn't fly due to my GLO's RM policies. We took charter buses, I don't know if those qualify as "luxury". Hotel suite in a jacuzzi? Yeah right! I think these differences depend more on the affluence of the school and the chapter members (as well as RM policies) rather than "now and then".

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I have never seen anything other than alcohol and weed, and never heard about anyone using anything other than alcohol, weed or coke at parties. Or maybe it's a regional difference? A bunch of my sisters had a party with the lacrosse team, who brought coke and my sisters flipped and kicked them out. I have heard of people using Adderall, but not at parties.

Yes, morals are looser today, but there is A LOT of variation. I am sure every chapter has girls who really get around, girls who are waiting until marriage, and everything in between. I wouldn't say the Walk of Shame is shameless, but humorous. The level of shame would depend on who it was that you hooked up with too.

Definitely. Thank you facebook and myspace.

And this happens at every campus?

Yes, you are correct. It's been awhile since I heard that term

haha I guess I really am part of the new crowd, since every time I hear the term "vd" I think of M & M lyrics.

No it doesn't, but it seems to be (sadly) happening more and more. What is really sad is that students walk around aware that it could happen to them at their school. Schools are required to have so much more security than they did before. I can't even imagine having a 911 system when I was in school.

I only remember one campus shooting in the 80s

I think the social climate can vary from campus to campus even within an era. In my day as well as today, there are party hearty schools, work hard/play hard colleges, and nose-to-the-grindstone institutions. ZooMass earned its nickname a long time ago although it is probably an unjustified monicker at this point.

When I was in school in the 80s, the drinking age was 20 in my home state and 21 in my college state. My neighbor went to Delaware which is very close to the MD border. It was 21 in DE, so they would all get their supplies in MD (age 18) and bring it back to the campus. Now the legal age is 21 making most undergraduates underage. Obviously that doesn't stop the alcohol from flowing on most campuses.

My neighbor's 2 kids, the boy next door and my d. are all undergrads at different universities. 3 are at state schools, 1 is at a private. The four schools could be broken down as 1 nose-to-the-grindstone, 2 wh/ph, and one not so stellar (but not really a party school). They all attended mandatory alcohol awareness, date rape and substance abuse warning classes during freshman orientation. I know my D's school required incoming freshmen to take an online class called alcohol.edu.

I don't remember any drugs happening in our fraternities in college although I was somewhat oblivious. I vaguely recall 2 fraternities having a bit of a rep. but my friends and I never went to those houses. I think there was more drug use in the 70s than in the 80s. IIRC, the students in Fine Arts tended to do the drugs while the rest of us stuck to cheap beer.

Nowadays, my D has mentioned that the two fraternities with the wealthiest boys have a minor cocaine rep but none of the sororities do. Her friend (who is at a very academic school) said the same thing about her state school.

As a woman, the biggest thing that concerns me is the prevalence of Rohypnal on college campuses. Date rape was unheard of when I was in school. It may have happened but once again, I was oblivious. Now it seems to occur everywere and anywhere.

I do have to agree with the date rape statement; however, I'm sure it probably happened a lot in previous generations--a lot of times, women just never told any one about it. I know there was a very bad stigma on women who were raped all the way up to the 90s. It was not until that time when women were able to break that silence.

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was an active (early 80s) we had strict rules about not leaving your sisters at a fraternity party - as pledges we were drilled to never go into the "private" part of a fraternity house, to arrive and leave with your sister(s), and to not leave your drink unattended. Good advice, maybe moreso today!

Absolutely! We even had a very serious debate about a PNM whose initials were VD and she had a lot of monogrammed clothing!

Also very true. We had a sister who had one too many "walks of shame", so we had "The Bod Squad". We actually took turns making sure she never went upstairs during any fraternity parties!

We were, however, able to go to a formal in whatever transportation we wanted, and didn't have to wear the over/under 21 wrist bands at sorority events. We weren't allowed to wear the regulation Pref formals to a regular formal. The Walk of Shame was very real - people who happened to catch someone would take a photo with the date/time stamp, and you'd find it posted just about anywhere.

But as with most things in life, the things which were problems to you then are probably still preferable to what you're not familiar with.

Whoa...my now...
Theme parties/mixers: white trash (the most scandalous thing here seemed to be crop tops), secs and sexecs (same as above), luau (tank tops and jeans, maybe a skirt)...

Formal: Borrow a dress or wear one from high school...buy one if you're lucky. Get sisters to do your make up and hair, go to the formal with everyone, leave with everyone, party after at the local bar or someone's house.

Alcohol/Drugs: The normal booze, and pot here and there (though rarely among any sorority on our campus...it's a good way to get kicked out). I haven't seen coke, acid, or x since high school. I've never run into heroin or meth. And I'll admit it...I've got some VERY sketchy friends.

Sex: Double standard never fails. Girl gets pregnant and married...ok. Girl gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is and people are talking three years later. STDs are a real concern. Sororities get very irritated with blatant sluts. Walk of shame is never taken by a Greek girl unless she wants to relieve the whispers and stares every time she walks into a party. I know of two females who carry condoms with them. Neither are greek...anymore. Go figure.

Cyber stalking? This is a REGULAR occurance?

How often does that happen?

Maybe she needs to REALLY rethink her current school...

Themes now: Luau, Naughty Santa at Christmas, the ho ones you mentioned. Rarely does anyone go all out and be completely slutty, though. And it's usually not sorority girls that do it.

Formals now: Wear a dress from high school or swap. Maybe go to Goodwill if you want a new one, or a thrift shop. Do your own hair and makeup or have a sister do it for you. Your date drives you to formal. Party afterwards somewhere else.

Alcohol and drugs now: beer, liquor, maybe weed, but definitely not in front of everyone. People who are doing that are sneaking out and doing it, or going upstairs with someone who lives there.

Sex now: I know of no females who carry condoms. STDs are a concern for girls who hook up, but not really pregnancy. The walk of shame is VERY real.


I think you need to talk to your niece about her life choices, if she thinks these things are okay.

OP (since I think you are a Hokie alum based on your alias), the following is for you if your kids end up in VA schools, public or private. In terms of alcohol consumption, law enforcement officials are known to breathalyze suspicious-behavior pedestrians on weekends at many campuses in the Commonwealth of VA.

A couple of college forums that I frequent have had posts from OOS parents who were surprised at the strict MIP interpretation within our fine state.

Honestly, BG, a lot of what your niece says is kind of over the top. I don't know of a single girl who carries around condoms with her. Yeah, that's my personal experience so it's not a scientific study but there seems to always be a generational gap in what actually is happening out there and what seems to be exaggerated. The walk of shame? Still happens, its out there. A lot has to deal with campus culture as well. My previous college was in the middle of the cornfields and a lot of beer and pot was taken in. My school now? Smoking a joint around the corner of the Sears tower is not going to happen. But it's easier to get heroin in chicago then it is in nowheresville Small state.

As for the school shootings, not to be dismissive nor play them down in any way, but they are NOT a regular occurrence. We've had how many in the past year? But suddenly they are a part of college life? I don't think so.

It just seems that college kids are portrayed as a bunch of meth smoking, gun toting, bisexual, internet addicted boozeheads. A lot of it is just pure exaggeration that scares parents to no end.

Sorry, but its annoying. Especially with what someone said about 'rainbow parties'? Ai. Stop watching Oprah and talk to your kids instead.

Ewwww, what kind of nasty girl doesn't carry around condoms with her? She probably has 15 kids and more microbes than a mattress at Motel 6. Girls, look both ways before crossing the streets and crossing the sheets. Be safe, not sorry, USE condoms! :o

I never understood whats shameful about the Walk of Shame. That means you got some DICK!

Why do bisexuals have to be grouped with metheads, gun toters, dorky internet addicts? They just want to love. :(

I don't know if you meant it as a joke or not but, I didn't mean that bisexuals are in the same category as meth smokers. It's just another one of those labels that parents of college kids today put on kids as something that you 'do' in college. There are truly bisexual people, and then there are people who are bisexual Thursday thru Sunday nights, for specific reasons.

It's a "oh no! Jane/Johnny is drinking and having ridiculously casual sex! Let's shield them lest they do anything else!" reactions after hearing about rainbow parties or middle schools giving condoms. I'm all for the condoms. But let's not make it seem like kids now are having more sex than ever before. Seriously. It just wasn't talked about before the way it is now.


As for the WoS...I keep my head up after I do anything. :-P

haha Dionysus FTW. that just made my night.

I have to throw in here as a fraternity guy who has a house.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

For the most part this is true but we still do old school throwbacks. we have a partys with some soros that we have been doing since the 70's.

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

Most guys in my frat have girls. I dont know why you would need a limo to get to a formal. We have ours at our house and the Sorors have theirs on campus.

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

I have never seen anything harder then pot, and i have only heard of coke in very limited numbers. This is very much in the category of IDOC. Sure, friends of mine who go to St Josephs(PA) or Rutgers have to deal with harder stuff because they are in the city, but even then its not widespread. I have never heard of Meth or Heroin at any college.

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Walk of shame is still shamful. Many frats sit on their roofs and take pictures of the girls on saturday and sunday mornings and put them on the webspace. The amount of "casual" hookups is not nearly as high as you say it is. Maybe its because my brothers dont have any game, but there are parties where the only action comes from gf's in thier bf;s rooms. Also, girls dont carry condoms, the guys do.

And to Dino, girls not carrying condoms is not dirty, its the guys job to worry about that. If he doesnt have one, he gets nothing.

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

I dont really think cyberstalking is as widespread as Dateline makes it out to be.

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Im sorry, but school shooting are in no way common. There have been 8 big shootings at colleges since 1960. Hell, i go to college in PA, and pretty much every townie has a gun, and many students do as well. the local HS gets off the first day of Deer season, and somehow we manage to survive. it is hard getting to class with all that lead flying, but you get used to it.

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

Its not that much different. yeah there are thing we have to worry about, but but nothing more then usual. Drug use is down since the 60's and 70's on college campuses. its not as accepted anymore. Basically, since the application of the 21 drinking age, alchohol has replaced drugs on Colleges everywhere.

I'm sorry, I got stuck on crack. Are there really college kids doing crack? That whole concept is gross.

A lot of this depends on where you go to college. I'm betting my college in the late 80s was a lot like the late 70s was for people at bigger schools nearer cities in terms of sex, drugs, etc. It was hardly the "just say no" era some people think the 80s were. As I've said many times, we were like Woodstock only w/ better hygiene and nicer clothes.

Oh, and there was LSD, cocaine, pills and heroin around when I went to school, too - it just was discreet (as opposed to alcohol & pot). As far as the condoms - EVERYONE should be carrying them. Period. It's not a moral issue, it's a public health issue.

Umm, speak for yourself. If you got it (or should I say had it), flaunt it. :D We wore pantyhose under them though, unless it was boiling hot (which didn't happen often in northwest PA). The no hose and sitting your nearly bare butt on heaven knows what is the part that grosses me out.

How, in 2007, with all we know about STDs, and the still too-high number of unwanted teen pregnancies, can anyone say that it is "the guys' job"? Ignorant, ignorant, ignorant!

Seriously, girls, protect yourself. If there is any chance in hell of you hooking up, carry your own protection. Alcohol impairs judgment, and in the heat of the moment, more people are likely to chance it than stop what they're doing.

This is why there are still so many nasty STDs and sexually-transmitted AIDS and unwanted preganancies. (And don't preach to me that no birth control is 100% effective. I am talking about blatant NON USE of condoms).

/end soapbox preaching

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

The themes seem right, although i think its a slight exaggeration onthe extent of "lack of clothing"

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

Our formal is either on a boat cruise, where we take a bus to the boat and then come back and hang out in someones apartment, or its off campus in a hotel and we stay the night. People buy or borrow dresses, and most do their own hair and makeup.


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

I've never seen people in greek life doing more than pot. There are rumors about certain fraternities about some coke, but crystal meth, crack, heroin? not so much

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Yeah, ive never seen someone walking around with condoms. Its still embarrassing to do a walk of shame, especially at my smaller campus where everyone finds out.

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

Never heard of people experiencing this


-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

this isnt that prevalent, is it?

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

We had Golf Pros/Tennis Hos but most of the girls ended up wearing tennis skirts and polos or cardigans with name tags like "Buffy". Octoberfest - which was a lot of shorts with suspenders and knee socks. Most fraternity mixers were in 70s garb, heven and hell (dress like a devil or angel) and Ski Bunnies and Instructors where everyone dressed up in ski gear or thermals. Yes there are girls out there that dress a little more pervocative, but not the majority!

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

We swaped dresses with each other or other members of sororities we were friends with. Some people would go get new dresses but it certainly wasn't a must. We usually did our own hair or makeup -- the seniors might all go get their nails done together if it was their last formal. We took a bus to formal and a bus back. Most after partys were people sitting around in their pjs eating pizza and rehashing the night.

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

Beer, hard liqour, grain alchohol, and pot were popular. There was some coke use you would hear about, but that could have been rumors or if there was use it was pretty hush hush.

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Walk of shame is still shamful, if you its a known random hook-up. The stereotype from the 60s and 70s was "free love" -- I think its less free love now then then. People are more knowledgable about STDs, AIDS and safe sex.
Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

Cyber stalking, I'll give you that one. The catty bitch on your hall -- well isn't there always one?

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Im sorry, but school shooting are in no way common. There have been 8 big shootings at colleges since 1960.


I think it basically comes down to the greek member and how they were raised and the institution they attend.

I was agreeing with you. My aunt (who has no kids, thus not in touch) was the one who thought all teenagers had rainbow parties after seeing it on Oprah, not Benzgirl.

Any college student doing meth or crack isn't going to be a college student very long.

True, very true... :p

No offense, but if you ask a guy to have sex with you, and he doesnt have a condom and you do it anyway, you deserve any funky cheese you get. Same goes for guys, if you dont have a condom and you know a girl in the biblical sense, you derserve whatever you catch. Alchohol is no excuse for impaired judgement. dont drink as much.

I drink, and yet somehow i am able to avoid all these temptations and dont make stupid choices. if you get sloshed and make bad choices then thats the consequence of your action. deal with it.

I'm not sure if anyone "deserves" any "funky cheese," but I do understand where you are coming from. If you make stupid decisions, be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices.

Honestly, I don't think I went to a conservative school, and I never saw any illegal drugs, and the most risque party shirt I saw was our barndance shirt with AGRho, which said, "Rolling in the Hay with ASA" and had a boy and a girl with naked feet sticking out of a hay bale.

This reminds me of my grandmother, who upon finding out I was going to a public highschool (*gasp*) told my mother that I would probably join a gang because she saw on oprah a special on gangs in high schools.

Can't resist . ..
 

We are not a gang, we are a CLUB!

Like I said above...it's not a question of anyone "deserving" anything, or if girls carry condoms they're sluts, or if guys carry them they're sluts. IT IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE. AIDS does not have a cure...the spread of it affects many more people than just the people who have the disease.

I wasn't saying you were disagreeing. Sorry if it came out that way. I was referring to Benzgirl in the original topic, that of what her niece said. The last part was directed towards adults who think like your aunt. Pardon the confusion.

And yes, everyone should use condoms. My problem with the way it was originally stated is that college kids nowadays carry them because all they do on their free time is have sex with whoever/whenever. If you go out, carry one. But do you need one in your book during class? That's a bit much.

I was not addressing you personally, I was addressing another poster, but I am WELL AWARE of the issue of AIDS. Obviously it is a public issue; I am not afraid to say that my mother died of AIDS complications in 1996. However, that doesn't mean that certain decisions people make don't cause the issue of AIDS, does it?

For what it is worth - when I was taking my high school senior English classes to the Rice University library I would always warn them that there was a vending machine which sold highlighters, post-it notes, and condoms. I didn't want them giggling and pointing (which happened my first time there :rolleyes:). So apparently, if you hook up between the stacks, neither has to bring a condom - just enough quarters!

Yeah, I probably should have also quoted SNBullet - but the fact is the bad decision is the not using the condom or protecting yourself, not the sleeping around. (That is, this is a health issue not a moral issue.)