Best monologue ever?
 

First four that came to mind for me:

Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday- "Inches"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9rFx6OFooCs&feature=related

Hugo Weaving in V For Vendetta- "Introduction by Alliteration"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uW6HbZXI9Y0

Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans- "Gettysburg"
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...arch&plindex=0

Bill Pullman in Independence Day- "Mankind"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRGUqd_M6Mg

Billy Crystal from When Harry Met Sally:
Well, how about this way? I love that you get cold when it’s seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Years Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.

any of the vagina monologues :)

The Vagina speaks?

Yes, loud and clear. Vaginas ROAR! ;)

Macbeth from Macbeth
Lady Macbeth from Macbeth
Juliet from Romeo and Juliet
Hamlet from Hamlet
Oh, I could go on and on... that Shakespeare... monologue king.

Doesn't this thread belong under Entertainment?

You took the words right off of my keys. Those are my favorite monologues! :)

Don't forget Mark Antony's funeral oration from Julius Caesar.

I love Mid Summer's Night Dream and Othello. Now that's entertainment!

Out, out damned spot! Is there a Shakespeare thread? If not, we need one.

Michael Douglas, as President Andrew Shephard in The American President:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112346/quotes

"For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character, and although I have not been willing to engage in his attacks on me, I've been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation: Being President of this country is entirely about character. For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a few hours ago. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free". I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character. And wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism and you tell them, she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interests of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league..."

Continues at the link.

Sounds like a plan! haha

"Nice Shoes"!

Oh, let's just hijack this one...;)

Ugh, we had to memorize that in high school.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him..."

"Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that"

MACBETH: Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee!
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation
Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going,
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th' other senses,
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing.
It is the bloody business which informs
Thus to mine eyes. Now o'er the one half-world
Nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse
The curtained sleep. Witchcraft celebrates
Pale Hecate's offerings; and withered murder,
Alarumed by his sentinel, the wolf,
Whose howl 's his watch, thus with his stealthy pace,
With Tarquin's ravishing strides, towards his design
Moves like a ghost. Thou sure and firm-set earth,
Hear not my steps which way they walk, for fear
Thy very stones prate of my whereabout
And take the present horror from the time,
Which now suits with it. Whiles I threat, he lives;
Words to the heat of deeds too cold breath gives.
[A bell rings.]
I go, and it is done. The bell invites me.
Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell
That summons thee to heaven, or to hell.

The evil that men do lives long after they are gone, the good is oft interred and forgotten. So let it be with Caesar...

Gina's (Rosie O'Donnell's) rant to the boys in Beautiful Girls:

http://members.aol.com/lockslett3/mo...er/beauty.html

Dead Poet's Society has some good ones. Character Mr. Keating:

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

Forgot that one, very good.

From Bull Durham: http://members.aol.com/lockslett3/mo.../bdbelief.html (bad language, so have to just link)

The clear cut answer is President Whitmore's speech in Independence Day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRGUqd_M6Mg

Yeah man, check my original post.
Its a little corny, but awesome at the same time.

i'm a fan of O-Ren Ishii's monologue in Kill Bill Vol. 1:

KING RICHARD II

I have been studying how I may compare
This prison where I live unto the world:
And for because the world is populous
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it; yet I'll hammer it out.
My brain I'll prove the female to my soul,
My soul the father; and these two beget
A generation of still-breeding thoughts,
And these same thoughts people this little world,
In humours like the people of this world,
For no thought is contented. The better sort,
As thoughts of things divine, are intermix'd
With scruples and do set the word itself
Against the word:
As thus, 'Come, little ones,' and then again,
'It is as hard to come as for a camel
To thread the postern of a small needle's eye.'
Thoughts tending to ambition, they do plot
Unlikely wonders; how these vain weak nails
May tear a passage through the flinty ribs
Of this hard world, my ragged prison walls,
And, for they cannot, die in their own pride.
Thoughts tending to content flatter themselves
That they are not the first of fortune's slaves,
Nor shall not be the last; like silly beggars
Who sitting in the stocks refuge their shame,
That many have and others must sit there;
And in this thought they find a kind of ease,
Bearing their own misfortunes on the back
Of such as have before endured the like.
Thus play I in one person many people,
And none contented: sometimes am I king;
Then treasons make me wish myself a beggar,
And so I am: then crushing penury
Persuades me I was better when a king;
Then am I king'd again: and by and by
Think that I am unking'd by Bolingbroke,
And straight am nothing: but whate'er I be,
Nor I nor any man that but man is
With nothing shall be pleased, till he be eased
With being nothing. Music do I hear?
Music
Ha, ha! keep time: how sour sweet music is,
When time is broke and no proportion kept!
So is it in the music of men's lives.
And here have I the daintiness of ear
To cheque time broke in a disorder'd string;
But for the concord of my state and time
Had not an ear to hear my true time broke.
I wasted time, and now doth time waste me;
For now hath time made me his numbering clock:
My thoughts are minutes; and with sighs they jar
Their watches on unto mine eyes, the outward watch,
Whereto my finger, like a dial's point,
Is pointing still, in cleansing them from tears.
Now sir, the sound that tells what hour it is
Are clamorous groans, which strike upon my heart,
Which is the bell: so sighs and tears and groans
Show minutes, times, and hours: but my time
Runs posting on in Bolingbroke's proud joy,
While I stand fooling here, his Jack o' the clock.
This music mads me; let it sound no more;
For though it have holp madmen to their wits,
In me it seems it will make wise men mad.
Yet blessing on his heart that gives it me!
For 'tis a sign of love; and love to Richard
Is a strange brooch in this all-hating world.


I LOVE this monologue.

You know I hate you, right? That's MY monologue!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad:

lolol

Spoken during Ken Burns' The Civil War, this is actually a letter written by Sullivan Ballou to his wife, a week prior to his death at the First Battle of Bull Run. It's the last two paragraphs that get to me!:

"Sullivan Ballou: July 14,1861, Washington DC.
Dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. And lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I am no more.
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And how hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our boys grown up to honorable manhood, around us. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have sometimes been!
But, O Sarah ! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be with you; in the brightest day and in the darkest night....always, always. And when the a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, and the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet again..."

In honor of the season, this is from Saturday Night Live, written by Steve Martin:

Steve Martin: "If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas."

Stonewall Jackson from Gods and Generals
Jackson: Men of the valley, citizen-soldiers: I am here at the order of General Robert E. Lee, commandin' all Virginia forces. On April 15th of this year of our Lord, 1861, Simon Cameron, the Secretary of War of the United States sent a telegram to our Governor, John Letcher, directing him to raise three regiments of infantry to be sent to assist in suppressin' the southern confederacy. Governor Letcher's answer is well-known to you, but perhaps not his words.
His wire to Washington stated, "You have chosen to inaugurate civil war. And, having done so, we will meet you in a spirit as determined as the Lincoln Administration has exhibited toward the South."
Two days later, the Virginia legislature voted for secession.
Just as we would not send any of our soldiers to march in other states and tyrannize other people, so will we never allow the armies of others to march into our State and tyrannize our people.
Like many of you -- indeed, most of you -- I've always been a Union man. It is not with joy or with a light heart that many of us have welcomed secession. Had our neighbors to the North practiced a less bellicose form of persuasion, perhaps this day might not have come. BUT that day has been thrust upon us like it was THRUST upon our ancestors.
The Lincoln Administration required us to raise three regiments.
TELL them we have done so!
Dismissed.

i know, i thought about you when i went a-searching for it!

OMG LMAO!!! I love Steve Martin.

Dont' forget to watch the Kennedy Honors this Wednesday! :)

Okay, so for the last few hours I've done absolutely nothing but watch YouTube and search for my favorite monologues. Couldn't find most of what I was looking for but I'll offer these greats:

Al Pacino in And Justice for All (warning: profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iIAODV43YGU



Not exactly a monologue but….Bluto’s speech becomes Otter’s speech from Animal House (warning: profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VclHtnoTqRA



John Cusack monologue from High Fidelity

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i8q5wiMYojo



Jack Nicholson monologue from The Witches of Eastwick
(warning: really gross and has profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bhiz63BbWtY



Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption (parole hearing)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lu6L6jgpwJE&feature=related



Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redeption (final scene)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TjyR...eature=related


Leslie Anne

P.S. Thanks, PhiGam, for a great thread. :)

The and justice for all one was really good, I've never seen that one before. Thanks for taking the time to bring us all those great videos.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=chqi8m4CEEY&feature=related
Speech from V for Vendetta, not as clever as the intro but still really good.

Another good one from John Cusack, in Say Anything:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sj3Syni1smY

And a couple good ones in here from Judd Nelson's charachter in The Breakfast Club:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SJmHaNpP_no (profanity)

Battle of the St. Crispin’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry V:


Kenneth Branagh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA3gOST4Pc8

Laurence Olivier:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=P9fa3HFR02E&feature=related

David Gwillim:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WNGVKwojfLI&feature=related


and finally, for all those who had to do the Julius Caesar "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech in elementary school (I had to do it wearing a toga and laurel leaves :o ) I give you:


Quinn (an 8th grader):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy7JW...eature=related



So who does it best? Personally, I think Quinn does an excellent job. :)