Dutch Couple Returns Adopted Child After 7 Years
 

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Incredibly sad. I'm assuming that not fitting in means she doesn't "blend in" with the family. Why bother adopting an Asian kid if you feel this way?

They adopted her when they thought they couldn't conceive...now they have two biological children...that sucks. Their reasons for giving her up sound like bullsh*t.

That's just vile. Seriously, even if the reason that she didn't fit in was in fact the reason that they gave her up, that's not her fault, it's bad parenting. If a baby adopted at 4 months doesn't fit in at 7 years, it's a sign that her parents were doing something dreadfully wrong, and should probably be monitored in regards to their other kids.

Oh, this just makes me sick. That poor little baby girl, in her frame of reference, this is akin to her biological parents giving her up -- they're all she's ever known.

Given the way she's being treated now, I tend to doubt they were really ever parental toward her. Poor baby! This is awful.

That's so true. If she didn't "fit in" it's because they raised her not to fit in. If she grows up eating what they eat, then why would she make such a fuss about why she didn't like it? Or if she grew up going to their church and celebrating their traditions, then why would a 7 year old, who know no different, be complaining? YOU DO WHAT YOUR PARENTS DO UNTIL YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW AND DO DIFFERENTLY! They should go to jail. There is no excuse. And their other children should be taken from them because if you can't raise your first child or ANY of your children, then you are UNFIT to take care of any of the other ones. Are they going to do this to their other children when they turn 7 and decide not to eat spinach anymore or complain about the length of church service or simply aren't as adorable anymore or whatever? Maybe they were tired of getting funny looks...

Oh no, no, no, no, no -- remember, the other 2 are "theirs". I'm sure they "fit in" with them just fine.

They only adopted when they thought they couldn't conceive, they got the little girl and then later, pop!, got pregnant with "their own" children. So I don't think the arguments they're giving about the oldest daughter "not fitting" isn't really about what she will or won't eat for lunch...

This story really gets to me because 2 of my dearest friends come from family set-ups just like this one. They are both adopted, their parents had tried and tried and couldn't conceive, then soon after adopting my friends, both of their Moms got pregnant on their own. So they each have 2 additional siblings that are their parents' "biological" children. The idea that their parents might have then turned around and "given back" my friends (because they didn't "need" them anymore???), is unfathomable. They are their parents and they are their children. (although my friends "fit", at least race/culture-wise, in with their respective families, so I guess that is an advantage -- oh, and their parents are HUMAN and have an OUNCE OF DECENCY, so I guess that's a good thing too)

I totally agree. My cousin is almost this age, and was adopted at the same age as that child, when my aunt and uncle thought that they couldn't have children. They now have another (biological) son. The idea of them "giving him back" is completely inconceivable. Seriously, he's their son. And, incidentally, we're white and he's Asian, so this story hits a little too close to home for me. I feel totally sickened.

And that little girl is old enough to understand she's being given away - makes it even worse in my book (as if it wasn't bad enough). So is she in a foster home now...? I hope the publicity received from this case finds her a better home. Just ludicrous what those people did.

Ice water must run through their veins! I'm sure they wanted her as a status symbol..."Look we're parents!" Once they were able to have their own children, why keep the "foreign" one around?! The only thing I can say is this poor child is better off out of their care.

I am seriously. sick. OMG, what a cruddy thing to do! When being a parent becomes about the adult, you know you've taken a wrong turn. Parenting is about meeting the needs of children. You, as an adult, are there to cater to the child's needs. The child is not there to feed some hole in your soul, or to be a bauble that you can just throw around to fit into the neighborhood. The two biological children will be scarred, I'm sure. They'll probably fear doing anything to get mom or dad mad, because in the back of their minds, they could think, "Hey, if they don't like me, mom and dad can always just give me away." Where's the vomit smilie when you need it?

Really well-put post, scbelle.

And here's a vomit smiley --> http://planetsmilies.net/vomit-smiley-27.gif

I feel the same way!!!

As a longtime adoptive parent, I've seen this in this country before. There are several kinds of 'disruptions': this is the kind that never should have happened because the stupid agency should have picked up on the fact that the couple would be awful adoptive parents. Unfortunately, a lot of agencies will accept anyone with the bucks.

Some disruptions are valid. We've known people who were lied to by agencies about children's problems and the kids came into the adoptive home and immediately tried to burn it down or they (in one case we know of, on the first night) molested kids already in the home.:mad:

I wonder if a couple should do their own background check after they adopt a child or adopt these children when they are older?

I do think that if one is going to go through all that trouble of adoption, and rear a child from infancy, and the child grows up in the home, how can just "return to sender"?

Of course, how are folks having unwanted kids. But that's a different discussion.

I watch the international adoptions sometimes on Adpotion Stories on Discovery Health and I often wonder if the American parents have any idea the challenges of raising a minority child. I understand they desperately want children, but a little research goes a long way.

I will never forget when I was 16 or 17 and worked at Publix supermarket and a lady went through my line with 2 childen. One was Asian sitting in the shopping cart (he was a little dirty and had on cheap shoes and clothes), and the other was a Caucasian baby sitting in his carrier (he was in a brand new carrier, he had on name brand stuff and looked very happy). I commented on how cute and well-behaved her children were...out of the blue she told me that she had adopted the older child and found out she was pregnant as soon as they got back. She then said.................................."I would not have gotten him if I knew we could have a baby!?!?!?!":eek::eek::eek::eek:

Needless to say, I was shocked and at a loss for words.

My husband and I, who are mostly white, have a large family and 5 of the kids are interracially adopted. They've done great--they've made us so proud with their scholastic and extracurricular achievements. We've celebrated their heritages while at the same time, we've made how a child arrived in this family a non-issue. Interracial/intercultural adoption has worked fabulously for us and we couldn't be happier!

This story is just disgusting. This was a child, not a 2 year old pair of shoes, for God's sake! People can't just return children like damaged goods. The story mentions the "mother" having to receive therapy--but what about the poor little girl, who will have abandonment issues for the rest of her life? What a heinous and callous act.

Well, maybe it'll be for the best in the long run if nothing else. Maybe she'll go to a family in the Korean community (the ones who have allegedly been reaching out ot adopt her) from Hong Kong that will treat her as lovingly as she deserves to be treated. Maybe living with her adoptive parents was bad because obviously they don't treat her as if she were their child. So if it's anything like the prior story of the woman at the grocery store with her adopted baby in cheap clothes looking dirty, then it's definitelyfor the best. No one deserves to grow up like a second class citizen in their own home.

here is the real fun of it tho.....



The adopted her back then because THEY COULDN'T CONCEIVE.


NOW....they have 2 BIOLOGICAL children???


That convo musta gone something like this:


"Gee honey...we have 2 regular kids....what do we do with this third one?"

" I think we should be Green and recycle her..."

"Gee...you are so smart and environmentally friendly"

GRRRrrrrrrr...at least there are families already wanting to adopt this child......

Considering that she doesn't speak a word of Korean, would she be better off in a Chinese home?

Koreans living in Hong Kong probably speak Chinese.

That would depend whether they're expats or local. Expats in Hong Kong tend to only speak "passable" Cantonese (unless their family is from Hong Kong), if at all.

Now where did I put my can of "troll-be-gone"?

You never can find it when you need it.

And to think, I thought he died this past weekend. Is it really possible to troll from beyond the grave??

/back to the thread

You hear so many horrible stories, it's so nice to hear a positive one like yours :)

Gracias! :)

While true, I believe that language would be taken into consideration.

I would have sold her to KSig RC.

-Rudey

^^^Now you're just being a douche.

^^^Well then, good job, douche.

Incredibly sad story...wow!

Maybe I read it wrong but it says the girl has no name.. !! Did they just never name her???

I took it to mean that the child's name isn't being given.

Somewhere you posted that you have a nine year old brother.

Is he your older brother?

Just wondering.

I just wondered, because I can hardly believe an adult would make your comment that I quoted.

oh. then i was just kidding :D

Hard to tell a joke when it's in black and white type. Maybe you should have indicated it as such.