Looking back, were you right?
 

I have often wondered when reading recent recruitment stories if the advantage of a time has validated, or invalidated, your initial impressions of sororities you may have rushed. Given the very, very short time you have to form an impression of a group, often from one or two people you met at a party, it seems that over the course of a year or so of interacting with those groups on campus your opinion might have changed.

Did your first impressions ring true?

Having been a sophomore when I rushed, my initial impressions of the chapters on my campus were true, I already had each one pegged. However, having been an alumna for a few years now and having been on GC for a minute, I've realized that Greek Life extends well beyond the walls of George Mason and that all kinds of people are Greek, not just the stereotypes and I am more proud than ever to be a member of my specific organization after realizing how large it all really is. I also didn't realize how lucky I am to have entered into this community at all, considering how many people try and don't get in or don't go for it at all.

Excellent topic, btw!

If you read my recruitment story, http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=87635 you can tell I was influenced by my suitemate, my roomate and one of the girls on my hall who's sister was an active in a sorority. In the begining they really filled my head with lots of preconcived notions about each chapter. By the end of recruitment I began to develop my own ideas about each chapter, and while they weren't great they were better than what the girls I knew had spewn on and on for all of fall semester.

Looking back on it now, no the group I thought were "know it alls" weren't really. They were just very proud of their accomplishments. Two of my very best friends are from that group and I think I would have fit in there if I had not rec'd a bid from AZD.

And I think even the chapters I thought I would have fit in with. I don't think I would now. It's not that they are bad chapters or I didn't like the girls or anything its just that AZD is just more me.

Looking back, I was certainly influenced. I had been on campus for a full year, heard the stereotypes and knew some of the women in the sororities. During recruitment, these beliefs were either confirmed or completely proven untrue.

I can distinctly remember writing off one sorority in particular because of what I had heard about them. I did a complete 180 during recruitment. They ended up being one of my favorite chapters, and in the end I preffed them along with ADPi!

I also recall rushing with my roommates from the previous year. Some of these girls were too cool for school and had written off certain chapters they believed they were too good for. They also had a change of heart after the very first round! That was very surprising to me.

I think (I hope!) that any conceptions you have before coming into this process are undone by the end of the first day, when you have had a chance to experience it for yourself.

When I first met members of certain groups, the stereotypes first rang true to me. However, I think that is because I was looking for them to be confirmed because I had already heard the stereotypes. What I found when I got to know members of each group better (after pledging) was that the stereotypes ring false about as often as they ring true.

Also, just because you pledge a group with a certain image, it doesn't mean that a lot can't change in four years. Once you join, it is up to you and others in the group to determine if you'll be a part of that stereotype continuing or not.

As a freshman in college, I absolutely bought everything that the first sorority I saw during rush had to sell. I was totally in love with the chants, the outfits, all the external factors. I did not accept a bid during that recruitment (was offered one by a different group), but I spent the next few terms really getting to the know the chapters. I learned that although all of the groups had positive things to offer to particular girls, the first group that stole my heart would not have been right for me. The alcohol use and smoking would have turned me off very quickly. I had friends who joined there, but I doubt if I could have felt like an insider.

Whether or not your first impressions were right, it's pretty hard to look back and really tell if you would have fit in with another group after being part of your own. I am sure I could have made due in any group on campus, even the weak one which eventually closed. I'm glad I ended up a member of AOII. My chapter was full of laid back, smart women who were great sisters. I'm enjoying finding my pledge class for our 50th Anniversary celebration. They all have had interesting lives and even though it has been 14 years since we pledged, I can talk to each of them like I saw them last week!

OMG SOOO TRUE !!!!!!!!!!! Soo many girls don't think about (or realize) how fast the girls in a chapter change over, and the real power they actually have to make changes happen.

I think there will always be members that live up to the stereotype, but I have learned that the impressions I had have not rung true.

I was a junior when I went through, but I hadnt really heard anything about Greek Life. Not until the semester before I went through did I start to think I would fit in certain chapters. Neither of them were AOII. Probably b/c I didnt know anything about AOII, but now I think that I fit in with my other sisters very well. :)

Some of the stereotypes I had heard before recruitment were just based on dumb nicknames that could be made with a chapter's letters. Of course, this was from my dumb [male] friend, so I didn't really pay too much attention.

However, I definitely got some distinct first impressions. At one chapter I visited, the members I talked to seemed completely braindead. Looking back, I think it was probably because they were poorly prepared for recruitment (i.e. not knowing what to say and not to say), plus, they probably said dumb things out of being nervous (I know I have!).

I definitely know that I ended up in the best chapter for me. However, out of 14 chapters at my alma mater, I still think that I would have fit in very well in 3 others besides Sigma Kappa. I think that where I was invited to preference (with the exception of one chapter) was pretty much where I would fit. I think that the members know better than the PNMs who fits where. Also, I am still very close with my SK family and sometimes I wonder who would be in my family and who my closest friends would have been if I joined a different chapter.

^^^I thought he died?

Looking back on it. I know I could of fit into two other houses on campus. But I came in not knowing everything. I also came in with the notions of a friend at a differnet campus who had went through recrutiment before. I ended up joining a top chapter at my school year end and year out. Looking back at my aluma matter I love the pride. I love my kite family. Its just so enjoyable.

I remember getting some bad impressioins especailly at one house in the first round. I wished at times I would of been more open to the other house that I preffed. THey were a good house too. I think I could of easily fit into other houses. I had friends at other houses.

I still talk to my the group of close friends I made in my pledge class. I love my theta sisters and know it was where I should be.

Nope, his grandpa and great grandpa died. haha

There was one chapter that I really sold short when I was going through recruitment. I know now that these women have probably the strongest sisterhood on my campus, but that formal recruitment has always been a struggle for them. I really wish that I had given them more of a chance.

Not at all. Because we have deferred recruitment, I felt like I already knew the chapters on my campus. But a pledge class has a lot to do with the culture of the entire chapter, and looking back I feel I could have fit in with probably nearly every house on my campus. Luckily we have eight good chapters, so I feel a lot of girls feel the same way as I do. I definitely ended up in the right place for me, and though I feel as if I could probably fit in at a lot of the other houses, I am in the best fit for me.

Interestingly, on one day the two top houses I preffed were two I went into saying I would never join -- one was a top chapter and one was a "lower" one. While I didn't end up in either of those houses, I am glad I had an open mind during rush. I love both of those groups now... I just love mine more! :)

All of these answers are so PC.

C'mon now, not everyone had a perfect experience and fit. There are a lot of girls who depledge and go through rush again!

I don't believe in living in the land of "woulda coulda shoulda", but my regrets came in my sophmore year. Most of my favorite sisters had been seniors & graduated, or were in my pledge class but didn't live in the suite. I went through a real soul searching (should I have given XYZ more of a chance? what about ABC?) at that time.

Then, we had Initiation, and I realized I was where I was meant to be all along. I've never looked back since.

And quite frankly, I think quite a few people go through the "I'm not a pledge anymore & coddled; I'm a sister with responsibilities and that's hard!" phase. More than are willing to admit it.

Maybe you should let his username/memory on GC rest in peace with him...

And hey, at least you still have your grandfather, right?

I was one of them! Even though it was a hard year, I'm glad I did because I wouldn't have been in my chapter if I hadn't. But maybe it was because of that year that I opened my mind some of the other chapters that I said I would never be in.

I certainly didn't have a perfect experience the first time. My answer would have been different if you asked me after that week.

Yes. If anything, I became more convinced by the stereotypes as time went by and I knew more and more people who confirmed my impression of the group.
________
HOW TO ROLL A BLUNT

I rushed as a first semester freshman, but I had hung around on campus my last couple of years of high school and had ironclad preconceptions about the sororities. I would only consider three of them and cut the other nine after the first round. I was, um, quite impressed with myself back in those days :rolleyes:

Freshman and Sophmore years, I pretty much agreed with, and perpetuated, the stereotype of my sorority. But later on, I was more active on campus and got to know members of houses that weren't top notch, so to speak. I found that the girls from the "fat" house weren't all fat, the girls from the "JAPpy" (not my phrasing) house weren't all princesses and the girls from the "troll" house weren't all short and roly-poly. I even tutored one of the "brainiac" house girls in statistics.

I'm sure at one point those houses had a preponderace of girls who fit the stereotype (which is how they got stereotyped in the first place), but gradually I think the actual make-up of the house can often change. Unfortunately, it's hard to lose the stereotype.

My thoughts EXACTLY! Its funny now to go back as an alum and see how much of this is STILL true soooo many years after my rush experience...

A common quote that is said on our campus by the greek organizations is

"the letters don't make you...you make the letters" and I think that says it all right there what your talking about.


I went through informal rush and didnt know anything about the reputations, but since I've pledged I know that going by my looks (i hope this doesnt sound conceded because i dont want it to!) I fit into many other sororities because fraternity boys that don't know me always ask me if im in some other sorority than Zeta Tau Alpha, but I know trying to hold conversations with other sorority girls only my sisters really "get" my personality. which could mean that I am just crazily weird lol, but I hope not!

Looking back, I was definitely influenced before I rushed Junior year. My ex-boyfriend joined a fraternity when we were freshmen. And I had absolutely no intentions of going Greek. However, as time went on, I befriended sorority girls who dated his brothers. And got to know them as individuals first. Not as a collective group. Honestly, I hadn't even heard of any reputations until after I pledged! In my head, I wanted to give each of the chapters on campus a fair shot, and I really could have seen myself in one or two other groups, but I was always drawn back to the girls I was comfortable with. And AEPhi welcomed me with open arms. I have never regretted it.

looking back, i couldn't see myself in either of the other chapters at my college. i went to a small college with 3 sororities and a deferred recruitmemt, where all fall semester you can get to know each of the sororities through panhel events, chapter informal events and general campus life.
i became friends with a few ZTA's through crew, and the social scene at my college and one of the girls i was friends with was recruitment chair, who suggested i attend the fall panhel day and from the fall panhel day (and the first three months of college) i knew the sorority i fit into was ZTA. during recruitment, you could really see how different the three chapters were from each other and i knew what chapter i fit into and even which pnm's were most likely to join, from events in the fall and also campus life.

i loved my collegiate experience and i don't regret one second of it :)

its funny, as a senior i could tell during recruitment which chapter a pnm would join, for some its obvious as they've spent all fall semester with xyz sisters or you can just tell with some girls.

and its hard to stereotype exactly what made each sorority different, but especially junior and senior years, i had many friends in the other two sororities, and one of my best friends was president of on of the other sororities. so it was a small greek campus, but friendly and noncompetitive.

It's been so long, it's hard to say. Some chapters I was spot-on; others, not so much. I have been amused by the stereotype of Gamma Phi on many (I'm sure not all) campuses - it is similiar enough that 2 of my sisters (from across the nation) and I correctly figured out a recruitment story code because of that stereotype of laid-back, friendly girls.

before I rushed (as a sophomore) I had my heart set on a chapter because of two women from my dorm that I adored. I even went to a few grab-a-dates with them when their boyfriends couldn't go. However one girl from my hs was also a member of this chapter and we never really got along. But based on the two that I loved I was set (so I thought). I even went so far as to buy a cross-stitch pattern book with their flower as the theme.

Then I went through rush, and ended up in a different house and noticed that one of the new members of the house I had wanted was a woman that I did not get along with at all.

So I grew up strong where I was planted even if it wasn't the flower garden I would have originally chosen!

When I went to college(a large southern campus) I knew little or nothing about sororities; kind of surprising since I grew up in a big city, and attended a large high school. I was an only child of older parents though who had not attended college, so I guess it was just never something I thought about. Right before I went to school, two of my mom's friends mentioned that their daughters had been in sororities at my campus and would do recs for me, but that really didn't mean anything to me, and I chose not to go through rush as a freshman. When my roomate and I checked in, we were in the dorm that had been used for rush, so I had a quick eye opening as at least half the girls on my hall had pledged houses. The girls next door were both in a certain house and I soon discovered that many girls from my high school had pledged there. I didn't really understand it at the time, but they rushed me informally all year - inviting me to pledge and spring formals, and I was convinced that I would pledge there as a sophomore. That spring Sigma Kappa recolonized at my campus and I rushed informally, never intending to pledge, but really loved it and ended up being a spring pledge. I have always had really good feelings about the other house though, and wonder if that is where I might have ended up had I waited until fall to pledge. I was fortunate to be on a campus where there were many houses that would have been great places to be - of course now I would never go anywhere else.

Long post, but on topic:

I can say (from talking to moms and now girls that have come home for the holidays) that most of the girls I know who rushed this fall are happy in their choices and feel that what was presented at Rush fits with their expectations and hopes - But one...

One very sweet and beautiful girl was rushed very hard by one of the "top" chapters at her school. After pledging, unfortunately, it has been down hill.

Downhill spiral started with a "clique" in the pledge class, it was made up of a group of girls who had known each other for years. They excluded all the other girls and kind of became the "power group" in the pledge class, which was a big bummer for the girls on the "outside". Add onto this the fact that, even though she really enjoyed rush and thought she had found the perfect house, she feels as if it was very much all "show". The actives just are not very involved with the pledges and she isn't feeling any "sisterhood".

Long story short, she's applying to transfer to another school that has her chapter, she has good friends from home that are actives in it and they, of course, rave about their experience, so she's hoping to affiliate. She is not the only new initiate who is unhappy and thinking of transferring, there are apparently a number of girls who might bail.

After talking to her and her mom, and hearing some of her concerns, I really feel like the leadership of the chapter is somewhat responsible (I hate to say blame, because they are probably doing the best they can). IMO, I believe that when the pledge class began to "splinter", something, whether it be more pledge/sister bonding events or what-have-you, should have been undertaken to try to bring the group together.

I also think that if girls, like the one I know, are so unhappy that they are transferring colleges, there is something wrong in the chapter and they might not be "top" for long if mass exoduses begin happening.

^^^ this is one of the things the pledge educator is supposed to watch out for-- it is their job to not only educate the new members but to also try and insure they feel like a part of the sorority. Has the daughter spoken with her new member educator about how she feels?

I believe so, but I'm not sure. I know she has spoken to her "big", who she really likes, about her feelings. Problem with that is, her "big" has a major boyfriend at another college, so is gone most weekends. It's really just been one thing after another...

Don't get me wrong, she has made friends with some of her pledge sisters, and the "outsiders" have kind of formed their own block, but she just isn't feeling the sisterhood as a chapter that was represented during rush.

I get the impression that they put on a big push during rush, but then afterwards, the attitude is, "you're on your own." I could share some pretty sad stories, but it would just be gossippy and wouldn't help.

i don't think that my impressions of the sororities at fsu changed in the time i was there. however, several of the sororities images have changed since then and it is interesting to see what is what, or should i say who is who, now adays.

my daughter's impression of one sorority on her campus has changed dramatically. during her recruitment she felt that this particular sorority was kind of odd. with a year under her belt and having made some good friends in that sorority, she realizes that it was most likely the girls with whom she was paired being a little shy and not being good conversationalists, not so much the sorority as a whole. now she feels that she could have fit in well there too, although she feels that she ended up where she should have been.

I just opened 3 emails from women I went to school with who happened to be members of my sorority's biggest rival 30 years ago. I am still shaking my head that the women I have stayed in contact with aren't even from my GLO. I would have never thought it would have happened this way.

The first day I arrived on campus, the first 2 people I met, SGA President and the captain of the tennis team, asked me if I was going to rush...I said yes...They said I would probably be a good AOII or a Zeta, and not too surprisingly I preffed AOII and Zeta. I had no idea about any sororities and reputations on campus, but I remembered what they said just like it was yesterday. I don't know, maybe they were a good judge of character. I was lucky and had a great rush. Eventually I happened to release (cut) the beauty queen group before preference...great sorority... ie biggest rival. My first impression of them was that their southern accents weren't that refined (Naturally...They were from different parts of the state) and that they wore more makeup than I was used to wearing.

Fast forward 30 years... We've all become friends and inlaws! I will never regret my decision to go Zeta, but I do regret that I was so fast and harsh in judging other groups. Hopefully they will never know how much I wanted to beat them at everything. As it turns out, we are not that different.

PS I was a little sister with most of them. I know that excites people on this board, but it did promote inter-panhellenic friendships.

my answer is...kinda.

Going into rush, I thought I wanted to be a Theta Nu based on the girls that I had met in fall quarter. But once I went through open house, I instantly, instantly knew I wanted to be a Tau Delta, and that was confirmed at novelty party. I didn't know ANYTHING about sororities, rushing, etc and I got cut before preference round. Instead of just dropping, I signed a preference card in order of my preference, ranking all 6 sororities in order, of course I ranked Tau Delta number one. On bid night, I got my "did not match" call. Ok, cool, fair 'nuff. Bid day rolls around, and I had a call from the Greek Advisor saying that TD wanted to extend me a bid, and did I want it? Hell yeah I wanted it! I sort of took it as a sign, ya know, that old rush proverb, "you'll end up where you're meant to".

As many others have said, the other groups are full of wonderful women that I will maintain close friendships with as we become alumnae...but I have only one home, one true love, and that's the white and the blue, my beloved Tau Delta. *sniffle*

[quote=Zeta13Girl;1577750]A common quote that is said on our campus by the greek organizations is

"the letters don't make you...you make the letters"

I really like that! But back to the topic, I rushed spring semester of my freshman year, and thought that I had all of the sororities figured out. However, two years later, some things that I thought that I knew about other organizations have changed. I am Panhellenic president and get to work with the other organizations on a regular basis. While I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had not done COB's and had visited all of the chapters, I still know that I am where I belong :D

As far as the chapters at my college, it's about half and half. There were a few chapters who lived up to my expectations, for better or for worse. Of course, as I got to know women in the other sororities on campus, some definitely impressed me more than their reputation would have let me believe when I rushed. There were a few chapters which I wish I had been more open minded about. I don't regret going AXiD, becuase I am now an advisor for a collegiate chapter and love it, but I do wonder how things would have been if i gave XYZ the benefit of the doubt instead of succumbing to the stereotype like the naive freshman that I was. My personality has changed a lot though, over the years - I'm much more secure with myself and much more outspoken than I was way back then, so I'm sure that has something to do with my changed perception as well.

My first impressions were, I think, pretty much right on. I guess we're all just pretty "real" around here. On the other hand, there was so much that the first impression missed at every chapter. Of the first two chapters I dropped, one was considered to be "awkward" during recruitment and "odd" otherwise. It's true. On the other hand I've come to see the strongest sisterhood on campus in this chapter, as well as some of the most dedicated members. It turns out that people think "odd" is girls who get piercings, or wear what they WANT to, or are creative. And I'm one of those people that appreciates nothing more than women who will choose quality over quantity consistently...I have sometimes wished we had the resolve they do in that respect. The other is the princess chapter...I remember them walking into the caf with these tiny black tank tops that said "____ The sorority" like the W the President stickers in pink writing. They had their hair and make up done perfectly at all times and wore sundresses to class consistently. And yes, they are freaking ridiculously girlie and truly pay attention to physical appearance. But what I missed was their determination to be the best in more than looks...they're always the first in grades and our competitors in intramurals. They also have the highest retention rate, and I think that fact says a lot about their members and their dedication. The next one I dropped I thought of as the wannabes to the aforementioned princesses. They were in the dorms on move in day giggling incessantly and wearing pink jerseys. They had a good share of partiers and their skit was about picking the right pair of shoes. Granted, they've changed a lot in the last three years, but even then they have this pride in themselves that I never saw...and really admire. For the most part, I hear them complain the LEAST about their own chapter of anyone. And that pride makes them truly pleasant to be around. They're one of my favorites now. My other pref choice I thought of as the ideal...decent grades, well known on campus, the majority were absolutely amazing looking girls, but many had their OWN style, and they were the brunettes to the princess-y blondes...but they seemed too perfect. I still think of them this way. But I also feel like they were the correct second choice. Their members remind me of my own sisters, and something I REALLY admire is their commitment to being different. If another chapter on campus is wearing red all through recruitment, they sure as hell won't be. They do their own thing, always, and make it their own, and it's worked every year. They're also appropriately discreet and loyal.

Of my own I thought they were the fun girls...not in the drunk frat whore way, but the "everyone knows them" way. And I was right at the time. We had people in tons of organizations on campus, didn't discourage our girls from hanging out with certain other sororities or fraternities, and encouraged them to be friendly to EVERYONE. We also were extremely competitive...grades, intramurals, greek week...(I was so relieved when we eliminated the overall Greek Week winner...I still tell people they can't understand what it was to be an Alpha Gam during Greek Week). We were the all-arounds.

It's funny, the girl who preffed me at my second choice ended up helping me choose Alpha Gam. She told me I would just "feel" it...I wasn't feeling it there. I had and still have tremendous respect for them (and was pleased to see that if my PNM's didn't guess that I was an Alpha Gam, they guessed this other group) but it was just that, not sisterhood. I "felt" it in Alpha Gam. I've never regretted going the way I did, though I've seen how amazing every chapter on our campus is this past year...if you ever want to REALLY break the stereotypes you might hold, be a recruitment counselor. I went from being snobby to being able to truly appreciate something in every chapter on our campus...and I'm proud to be associated with them ALL as a Greek woman on our campus.

Definitely. I started recruitment thinking I only wanted one sorority - my RA was in it and I had heard a lot of good things from girls on my hall. During Recruitment I realized Kappa was definitely a better fit for me, and a year later I am SO thankful I didn't join the other sorority. I've learned a lot about them from my now-sisters and pledging there would have been a disaster for me. There are a lot of things you can't really know about GLOs until you're in one... another good reason to go into Recruitment with an open mind!