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-   -   honest question, honest answer please!! (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=92018)

monko3 12-07-2007 04:57 PM

honest question, honest answer please!!
 
Hi,

I would really like an honest answer, because I starting to become a bit fusturated and discontent. I feel like when I talk to my nationals they are lying to me or they are not telling me all the details. This could be If I call to ask about my standing, or paperwork being processed. Anything really. They sound really odded out and they are not clear when I talk to them. Is there something I dont know? Is there a note in their computer that might be bad that my chapter sent to them? I feel like the only way they will tell me everything is if I were to push them and I dont really think thats appropriate.

I've noticed that there are a lot of people on here that seem to be older than me, so maybe you guys might be able to help to me out or give me some insight.

thanks.

Unregistered- 12-07-2007 05:02 PM

Honestly, your post seems very general and vague, and I doubt that anyone's going to provide answers without knowing about your situation. Are you a collegian or an alum? Have you been initiated or not?

Us "older folk" might know a thing or two, but the best ones to ask would be the members of your own organization. They'd probably be the best qualified to answer your questions.

FSUZeta 12-07-2007 05:03 PM

your explanation seems a little cryptic, so i may not be able to give you a definative answer, but here goes:

it would seem to me that if you are an initiated member, no matter what you are inquiring about, that your national office should at the least be able to say"your situation is under review at present, and we will have to get back to you."

if you have not been initiated, they may not have your name in their system.

hope this helps.

skylark 12-07-2007 05:03 PM

I'm not sure there are enough details in your post to meaningfully reply, monko. First, what kind of group are you in? An IFC fraternity? A NPHC sorority? A NPC sorority?

Second, why are you so paranoid? It sounds like there is a reason why you think someone from your chapter might send nasty things to your headquarters... which makes me think you've told us about 1/100 of the story.

Benzgirl 12-07-2007 05:29 PM

Are you trying to transfer schools and become affiliated with a chapter at a different school? I agree with the others. We can give you an honest answer without knowing the honest question

BlueNYC2 12-07-2007 05:53 PM

basically you posted a whole lot of nothing, cuz you didnt post anything meaningful towards what you want an "honest answer" about...

monko3 12-07-2007 06:00 PM

yea, it is very general. Its with whatever question I ask they act like that. I mean im sure my chapter hasnt said anything to them. I guess thats what I am trying to figure out. I was only initated at the end of last semester, and I assume that if I did anything bad, they wouldnt let me initiate. Right now I am withdrawn from that college, so I haven't been involved with the chapter since we left school last May.

I know a girl from my old school that got lied to by her nationals. She tried to transfer assuming she was in good standing(she had no troubles with her chapter from what I hear) and nationals sent her letter to the new school without telling her the standing that she was in. She went to the new school and was not asked to join, because of her standing. She was pretty pissed.

If you dont know,its ok I understand. It is a really vague question.

monko3 12-07-2007 06:05 PM

I dont really know how to explain it...

knight_shadow 12-07-2007 06:15 PM

Are you saying that any time you go to your nationals with a question, they aren't willing to help you? That's how I interpreted that.

I'm not sure if you have any regional representatives, but you may try passing your concerns to them and have them forward it to nationals.

Your posts are kind of vague, so it's a little difficult to give a "real" answer.

monko3 12-07-2007 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1559512)
Are you saying that any time you go to your nationals with a question, they aren't willing to help you? That's how I interpreted that.

I'm not sure if you have any regional representatives, but you may try passing your concerns to them and have them forward it to nationals.

Your posts are kind of vague, so it's a little difficult to give a "real" answer.


yes, I end the phone call still not knowing the full answer, because I feel like they are willing to help at first, but then as soon as I say my name their tone changes and they become less helpful. It sounds sketchy to me. unless there is something I dont know. like I said before I left school after the semester I was initated (last spring), and as I said before I am asumming if I did something wrong they wouldn't have let me initiate. I havent done anything with them because Im not there. so if my chapter told them they dont like me, because I left school and thats the reason I am not getting full answers then that really is not fair.

knight_shadow 12-07-2007 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monko3 (Post 1559517)
yes, I end the phone call still not knowing the full answer, because I feel like they are willing to help at first, but then as soon as I say my name their tone changes and they become less helpful. It sounds sketchy to me. unless there is something I dont know. like I said before I left school after the semester I was initated (last spring), and as I said before I am asumming if I did something wrong they wouldn't have let me initiate. I havent done anything with them because Im not there. so if my chapter told them they dont like me, because I left school and thats the reason I am not getting full answers then that really is not fair.

Perhaps what you're asking for is not something they're wanting to discuss over the phone? I don't know.

Of course, we're not going to know the exact reason that they're not being helpful, but again, if there is some reason they're not speaking with you, you may want to let your regional representative know. They can speak to nationals on your behalf, or at least attempt to get some kind of clarification on what's going on.

Drolefille 12-07-2007 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monko3 (Post 1559517)
yes, I end the phone call still not knowing the full answer, because I feel like they are willing to help at first, but then as soon as I say my name their tone changes and they become less helpful. It sounds sketchy to me. unless there is something I dont know. like I said before I left school after the semester I was initated (last spring), and as I said before I am asumming if I did something wrong they wouldn't have let me initiate. I havent done anything with them because Im not there. so if my chapter told them they dont like me, because I left school and thats the reason I am not getting full answers then that really is not fair.

How many times have you called them? Maybe they're just getting annoyed...

Ok, you're initiated. Have you paid all of your dues? Because that should be the only thing that would prevent you from being a member in good standing.

monko3 12-07-2007 06:38 PM

ok good idea.
thanks.

LPIDelta 12-07-2007 08:34 PM

Most of the time, unless you're calling about a chapter issue or some BIG issue, international offices don't really deal one-on-one--that might be where their apprehension is coming from. Why are you concerned about your status with the organization? Are you calling with billing issues? Membership issues?

MzJ25 12-07-2007 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueNYC2 (Post 1559501)
basically you posted a whole lot of nothing, cuz you didnt post anything meaningful towards what you want an "honest answer" about...

HA..this is why I love my bruhs, always providing endless entertainment.


Honestly, if you want someone to help you then you need to be a bit more specific.

Still BLUTANG 12-07-2007 09:29 PM

you need to follow the chain of command within your organization. YES, you should be able to call HQ and speak with someone about your issues (from your post, im not sure what the issue even IS, and maybe you're not really expressing yourself coheseively when you call)... BUT...

if you have an area advisor or district officer or something that you need to speak with BEFORE things are escalated to the national office you need to go through the proper channels.

If you're not getting the response or information you need, ally yourself with someone else in the organization who CAN get through.

James 12-07-2007 09:33 PM

Well you withdrew from your college so there are only two things I can think you need to know:

1. Are you an initiated member?

2. Are you in good standing?

If you are not an initiated member then number 2 doesn't matter.

These are simple questions. Has there been ambiguity on whether you are initiated or not?

Also, did you end on bad terms with your chapter? Because it almost seems like you believe they may have terminated you or not filed your paperwork on purpose.

Anyway, without knowing the answer to the first two questions everything else is moot.

PeppyGPhiB 12-07-2007 10:06 PM

What are the questions you're asking them when you call?

Did you tell anyone at your chapter or HQ when you decided not to return to school? They may be annoyed if you diappeared without notice; they may have not known whether they needed to change your status to alumna/alumnus.

It is also possible that your chapter did not send in all of your paperwork, though I don't think you could have gotten a badge without it all in. You do have a badge, right?

monko3 12-07-2007 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James (Post 1559615)
Well you withdrew from your college so there are only two things I can think you need to know:

1. Are you an initiated member?

2. Are you in good standing?

If you are not an initiated member then number 2 doesn't matter.

These are simple questions. Has there been ambiguity on whether you are initiated or not?

Also, did you end on bad terms with your chapter? Because it almost seems like you believe they may have terminated you or not filed your paperwork on purpose.

Anyway, without knowing the answer to the first two questions everything else is moot.


yes, I am an initiated member. initiated last spring. That is one of the questions that I have asked about my standing. At the start of the semester I was put on bad standing because my chapter forgot to turn in all that paperwork, but now I think that was fixed. I called them today to make sure my status was fixed, but she sounded hesitant and didnt really give me an answer thats why I'm not sure she was telling me the full answer. when I called my chapter before calling nationals, they didnt tell me either, they said "all you can do is call national to found out"

I dont think I ended on bad terms. I told them I was thinking about withdrawing, then over the summer contacted the president letting her know that I wasnt returning. One sister told me that people were upset when they found out I was leaving, but the reason I withdrew from school was not because of the sorority, but I feel like they think that is the reason and I have no idea why. this year I have visited some of my sisters over the weekends.

and yes, I have gotten my badge, but it was mailed to me about a week ago.

gpb1874 12-10-2007 11:26 AM

It could just be that HQ does not have all their paperwork updated, especially if the chapter just recently submitted it all. And that's not saying that they submitted paperwork correctly in the first place. Most chapters have to turn in oodles of paperwork, and multiply that times the number of active chapters and, well, you get the idea.

Maybe give them some time to get it all straightened out and call back in a few weeks. If they can't give you an answer, they can't give you an answer.

don't assume your friend's sorority sent the other chapter a letter unless she actually saw it. The chapter could be using that as an excuse for some other reason.

adpiucf 12-10-2007 01:43 PM

IMHO, they are hesitating when you are calling because you are calling too damned much. They hear your name and they grit their teeth. STOP CALLING. Be patient. The administrative arm of a sorority's headquarters has limited staff and support. They work very hard to process paperwork, and to plan and facilitate meetings and conventions year round. They have 1000s of new member names to update every year. Also, we are approaching the holidays. Try calling again in mid-January.

Do you owe the chapter any money? Only the chapter can answer this question. CC the chapter adviser and the chapter finance adviser on any correspondence with the treasurer. Get it in writing that you don't owe any money.

Owing money is the only reason you would be in bad standing at this point. Any standards issues would be resolved the moment you left the university. If they had terminated your membership, they would be obligated to tell you. But chances are that they will not terminate you without first trying to collect money owed.

If you "think" the membership issue has been resolved, you don't have any answer. Did you receive a membership certificate to prove you were initiated? A badge is not proof. It just means that they processed a jewelry order. Members order and upgrade badges all the time, so a badge order list is not the same thing as an initiate list.

If you're planning to transfer to another chapter, this is handled at the local level between the new chapter and your chapter of initiation. You must be voted in by the members of the new chapter and then there is a transfer of paperwork that then goes to nationals to be recorded.

Contact the president of the chapter you hope to affiliate with to start this process now. It is not a guarantee that you will be voted into the new chapter.

If you have not already done so, keep a log of all contact made with the sorority to resolve this issue. Include dates, names and what was said. Make a copy of a letter before you send it so you have it for your files. And send everything certified mail. This way, you will have confirmation of delivery. Follow-up with an email, if you like.

NutBrnHair 12-10-2007 01:52 PM

I love it.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 1560814)
IMHO, they are hesitating when you are calling because you are calling too damned much. They hear your name and they grit their teeth. STOP CALLING.

ROFL :D

ealymc 12-10-2007 02:10 PM

You should find out, too, who your chapter's contact is with Nationals. We generally had one person that handled everything for us and typically the other staff members knew very little regarding anything specific to my chapter. Just a thought.

sarasmile 12-12-2007 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monko3 (Post 1559477)
I starting to become a bit fusturated


You have a much longer, more detailed thread from a few months ago under a different user name, don't you?

The spelling of "fusturated" was a dead giveaway.


Edit to add: Here it is http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=89945

Leslie Anne 12-12-2007 02:28 AM

Thanks for the link, Sara.

If this is giggle528 again, then I'd say you're up a creek. Planning on re-rushing after you've been initiated? I can't say I'm surprised at anyone's hesitation to respond to you.

Being accepted into another chapter of your sorority isn't generally a sure thing. (Some NPCs may differ.) I think they just don't know what to do with you at this point.

PeppyGPhiB 12-12-2007 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 1560814)
If you "think" the membership issue has been resolved, you don't have any answer. Did you receive a membership certificate to prove you were initiated? A badge is not proof. It just means that they processed a jewelry order. Members order and upgrade badges all the time, so a badge order list is not the same thing as an initiate list.

Hey, I never got a membership certificate, and I was a colony member! There are other ways to prove membership. I know on our sorority's Web site members have access to the member roll - if the OP's sorority has the same, she should be able to even search for herself.


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