A totally honest thread...from long long ago
 

As a long time lurker I have noticed the evolution of Recruitment stories go from semi-honest to totally banal. Recruitment is a long and difficult process under any circumstances. But to be real this is a selection process that is different from almost anything else. And so I thought that I might, from the prospective of 35 plus years tell a story to show how much rush has changed...and how little.

I rushed at a large university. At the time there were 12 houses on campus. I went in totally blind. My parents, in keeping with the times, hoped that I would be a leftist protester/hippie. I, in true daughterly form said...no...I'm joining a sorority. I knew nothing about the sororities, nor did I know anything about the "rules", except the stated rules. I had heard that, until recently, when rushing in the heat (and non-air conditioned houses in those years), girls actually wore St. John suits and gloves. Weird.

I filled out my forms honestly. I had one female relative who had been in a house, different campus, who wrote me a rec. (I didn't know that I needed one.) But she warned me that her house had been "progressive." I asked her what that meant and she said, "You'll find out." No amount of pushing or pleading could get an answer.

I am an adult. I will not be "mean", just truthful in what happened. (I will say that it ended well.) Anyone want to hear the stories from the real olden days?)

I'm not a fan of the banal, either and usually I feel like poking my eyes out everytime I see a new retro thread pop up, but I'm definitely interested in reading what you have to say. :)

I want to see pictures!!! The St. John suits and gloves are killing me.

Reminds me of pictures of the early 80s Rush at Miami University where girls were wearing Fair Isle sweaters and Skyr Turtlenecks in the dead of August. Oh, how rediculous it was!

PLEASE tell your story.

I'd love to hear your story!

Sorry, but I missed the St. John/gloves thing by 2 or 3 years. We wore sundress, pantyhose, and closed 2 inch heels. It was still more formal then, no jeans (or as some still called the dungarees....) and no t shirts.

The first function for Rush was the orientation meeting. I remember LOTS of girls in a big room. Most of the girls were blond. And at that time, while there were African American and Asian sororities on campus they rushed separately. I don't recall any African Americans, but perhaps there were a few Asian girls. But I don't remember specifically.

My lack of knowledge was staggering. I sat next to a girl from Chicago who was a font of information. She knew, and had recs for, all the top houses. She even had a Presents dress. (I was in awe that someone was so certain that she would get what she wanted that she had spent a lot of money on something that couldn't be returned if unused.) My new friend pointed at girls and said,"Kappa" or "DG"...whatever. She looked at me and said the names of a few houses, but that meant nothing to me. Happily, I was totally unaware.

We were introduced to our Rush counselor (we were broken down by alphabet) and I noticed that my Rush counselor was the only brown haired girl in the group. She seemed nice in her welcome. And then reiterated that Rush was a process where it was importent for everyone to feel comfortable, sisters and rushees, in their selection. Her words kind of hung in the air. I knew that the meaning was far deeper than that, but I was really clueless to what she meant.

HAHAHA! I agree. Especially about the poking out of eyes.

In August? I can only imagine how humid it was.

Ooh, I'm eagerly awaiting development of this story as well.

I can't wait to hear this story. Bring on the honesty!!!!! :)

Wow...flashback! lol.

Anyways, ellebud continue your story!! And I co-sign what OTW said!

Dressing for the occasion, not the weather.

We called them Fall cottons. Man, I'm old.

Open House:

Please bear in mind that it has been a long time, so I can't tell you about each house. I will tell you about the most memorable.

The first house that my group went to was the house where I had a rec. We waited in the heat when suddenly...yes, you know what happened! Boom! Boom! A hundred screaming girls came out of the house singing their song. I must have taken a step back because it was frightening surreal. A quick appraisal said that I could fit in there. We went inside and the usual pairings happened. We talked and things went fine. I wasn't astounded, but I fit in rather well. (At that time I did some modeling and acting, but I wasn't tall.) The girl that I spoke with had been briefed that I had a rec because she made reference to my cousin's school. I left feeling ok, not overwhelmed, but fine.

The second house I remember because those twenty minutes were the longest of my life. This was the most "popular" house on campus. The girl and I just didn't click. No fault here or there. We just didn't click. In fact she put her hands behind her back and signaled her sister to relieve her. This happens...in rush and in life. Move on.

I went to three houses that left no impression at this late date. I imagine that they were ok...no sparks.

Last house of the day: By this time I was used to the banging and screaming. I went into this house and met a girl who should have been my best friend. We talked 20 minutes straight, laughed the whole time. We knew some people in common, despite the fact she lived in a different part of the metropolis. (That's about an hour plus from where I live). I found it a bit strange that despite the fact that she lived in a very...ok...here comes the brutally honest part of the story, the little secret that was a part of sororities at that time....non Jewish part of town...she knew a lot of Jews from my part of town. Weird I remember thinking. We hated that the bell signalled the end of the party. And my new best friend told me she was thrilled to have met me. I didn't doubt her honesty. (And I don't doubt it to this day...because of what happened later.)

The next set of parties...tomorrow.

Me likey the honesty :D Keep it rollin!

Ellebud, you tease! ;) We're all waiting!!

Please continue!!!

what fun!! thanks for sharing with us.

man, even im interested. keep it coming!

Second part of the First Round:

First let me say that there are some chapters that I don't remember exactly what happened. This is not to say that I didn't have fun, or appreciate their time and effort, but that over time they all kind of blended. There were no AHA! moments that really stick out to this day.

But moving on: The second party of the day was at a house that was struggling. (I know that they left shortly after my rush.) The thing that stood out, to this day was that the girls looked defeated. And at a time when we all wore long, hopefully, swinging hair, they still teased (or ratted) their hair into beehive like 50s era hairdos. They were nice, but they had an air of failure.

Two other houses went and gone and then I went to a house that was considered "popular". I was paired with this absolutely adorable girl who mentioned that she was in fact a "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi." I had heard the song, from the 20s or 30s (?) and I thought that that was cool. The rushees were served coke in small bottles with straws. The girl I was with asked for, no begged for, a coke from one of her sisters. Five minutes later she started that dry raspy cough. I took the straw out of my soda, handed her my drink and said, "Share?" After some hesitation, she took it and drank. We left on excellent terms.

The last house was different. A few in my group were muttering that this could be a waste of time (something they didn't say about the moribund house by the way). The door to the house opened, the Rush Chairman (chairperson...chairwoman?) came out and said, "Won't you join us?" And we went inside. I knew one of the girls from high school, not well...But the girls were warm and welcoming.

Second round:

Ms. Chicago, as I will call her, knew her stuff. She knew what to say where and why. We started to talk and she gave me her list of favorites. The last house was a waste of time. Why? She calmly answered, "It's a JEWISH house." aha..................Then she looked at me with a lightening bolt of insight. "Are you JEWISH?" yes..........Ms. Chicago remained diplomatic. She said something like....you'll see...and went off to make more and new friends.

Invitations to second round: I received 4 invitations out of a possible 8. I was surprised. But what surprised me most was that my new best friend's house wasn't there. At that house you only spoke with one active so it wasn't like the other girl(s) could have hated me. I wasn't happy. I though that I had met the most false human being on this earth. The house that I had a rec to also dropped me. The invitations that I received were to: one house that I truly don't remember, the house that was going out of business, the soda sharing house, and the laid back house.

Don't make us wait a whole day again before you post the next installment... please!!!

Reminds me of that novel The Bell Jar. The whole "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi" thing, not the Coke thing.

I thought you were going to sing, "I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony...."

Benzgirl...no I wasn't that quick. I wish that I was. However...the second round came and went. I can honestly say that I was a bit reticent. The Jewish thing was unnerving. I really hadn't heard that sort of prejudice in a long time. Again, honestly, I probably wasn't a shining star second round. I liked the laid back house, but were they too laid back? The popular house....I saw the girl that I met first round and that was nice. The nameless house was just that. And as for the last house....when you stare at a flower arrangement and talk about it...for 5 minutes...you know that it just isn't happening.

After second round I went to talk to my rush counselor. It was a brief meeting. I asked her what was the deal? Why had Ms. Chicago said what she did...and...My rush counselor looked at me and said...(no quotation marks here because I am paraphrasing...35 years is a long time ago)...Remember everyone is looking for a house where actives and pledges are COMFORTABLE together. What is your comfort zone? And what is theirs?

And...again, because times were very different...lots of girls went to college then to meet their husbands...she added that I should think very hard about the man I would wish to marry. What did I want from a partner and what was importent to me? (Please read between her lines.)

Invitations came out for third round. In the waiting area I met some other girls, all Jewish. They had, by and large the same outcome that I had. One girl, blond and blue eyes said that she would never join a Jewish house. (She didn't. But she dated and married a very Jewish guy. I have seen her over the years. We aren't friends but are nodding acquaintances.)

The other girls had the same experience that I did. The Actives were pleasant and then...nothing.

Third round invites: I received one. Most of us (now we were an "us" I guess) received one. A few of us received two. Ms. Chicago was crying. She was dropped by the top four houses. I felt terrible for her. Ms. Chicago, in the bravado of an 18 year old dropped out of rush. She told me that she would never pledge a "loser" house. So many questions/comments popped into my head but silence is sometimes a good thing. I thought that I might as well see this through, even though I wasn't sure how much I could relate to the laid back house.

What Not To Do During a Rush Party: I was placed with two Actives and one other rushee. It was obvious to me that we were both being scrutinized very carefully. (I later learned that if you were down to one party prior to Pref that if the house wasn't willing to bid you, they had to cut you before Pref to spare your feelings. Evidently there had been some girls in prior years who opened an empty envelope. To quote my daughters, "harsh."). I am middle of the road politically so (yes, don't panic...politics...stay out of this area...please) and the other rushee was from a mega farm. Somehow the subject came up, not from me, about the Bracero (migrant worker program). This girl said that she didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about those people. They made good money while working for her father and why did they have so many children anyway? I don't know why I did it. I opened my mouth and said and how many weeks a year do they work for your father? Two...three? The silence was deafening.

Do not do this. Do not. As the words came out of my mouth I knew I was done.

Except the Actives were the most politically liberal girls on the row. They were thrilled. This time I got a pass. Sometimes inserting both feet in your mouth isn't so bad. At least I was memorable.

:eek:

This is cracking me up! Wow, ellebud, this has got to be one of the best rush threads I've ever read.

Thanks so much for sharing this!!! :D

Good Reading!

I don't get it....will someone explain it to me?:confused:

Migrant Workers. They typically help with the harvest on one farm, then move on to another once their work is done.

Pref and beyond:

So, you all have guess that I received an invitation to Pref at the laid back house. As my Rush Counselor handed me my invitation she gave me a meaningful look. I really didn't know that if I went that night I would get a bid so I was really stressed and did what all girls do from the beginning of time until now: Find other girls and get ready together.

I got together with several of the other Jewish girls. While we were excited Rush was an eye opening experience for some of us...and a painful reminder of other anti-semetic times in our lives. (See I said the words...). The anti-semitism was blatent, it was couched in the guise of "Where will all of us be the most COMFORTABLE?" And sometimes it is uncomfortable dealing with someone a bit different. On the other hand, we Jewish girls began talking and the question arose: If we don't try and change the system...who will? Does it need to be changed? (all this while applying eye shadow...). For all but 2 of us this was a moot point. We carried one house to Pref.

Pref was beautiful and meaningful. I knew that joining the laidback house was right for me. The one aforementioned Jewish girl was the first to break and joined a Christian house. My two friends who preffed two houses suicided and became my pledge sisters.

Loose ends:

So, the question becomes: What happened to the house where I had a rec? And what happened to my instant best friend who passed on me first round?

The first question is easy to answer: My cousin told me after rush that her chapter was the first to pledge a Jewish girl. And at the national level they received a lot of grief for that. (She is a good deal older than I am. She pledged around 1965). My cousin knew that I wouldn't get past the first round. The chapter at my school was old line. Okay then....

I saw Ms. Chicago's dress hanging on the door of her dorm room. It was gorgeous, and unused.

As for my new and instant and very temporary best friend? Right after rush I saw her on campus. She came up to me and asked if she could talk. We sat for an hour and her first words were, "I am a sophomore. This was my first rush and it might be my last. You see, despite my name and where I live....I am a Jew. I didn't know that my house didn't accept Jews until your name came up. I am so sorry. They wouldn't give you a chance." She discussed deactivating. (She didn't.) Her parents were devastated. (Her father wasn't born Jewish. He converted, very unusual for that time and place. But her mother was Jewish. And she was raised a Jew.) I listened. Finally I asked what the penalty would be if she told her sisters that she was Jewish. Would she be thrown out? She didn't answer. I still don't know the answer to that.

We saw each other on campus occasionally. But we never became friends.

The good news for me is and was I did find the best place for me. And all these years later I am glad I how things turned out for me. And I am really glad that my daughter, if she decides to rush, will have more choices but I hope the she has the same conclusion that she found the right place for her.

Oh and my rush counselor? She became my Big Sister...go figure.

Fascinating! Terribly sad about the prejudice, of course. I know it's the way things were, and that on some campuses, the lines are more subtle today but still stick around. Just sad, sad, sad.

I am so appreciative of the many different religions represented in my chapter. There was so much diversity. One of the women I greatly looked up to was half Japanese and also Jewish.

BTW, I don't think I could have restrained myself from responding to that migrant worker comment, either!

^^^

Oh you're just terrible. We know you had a happy ending (beginning?) but somehow you left out the part where you're supposed to tell us where you went! :eek:

I really loved this thread. A+

yeah, i hit the PM real quick. i thought it was intentional, but hey! we wanna know!

yeah it was awesome. all the tenents of a good rush thread: timely update, honest but not rude details, discreet where possible, interesting plot, and of course, a happy ending/beginning!

What a wonderful story. When I went through recruitment our school was past the religion issue, but many schools were still WASPy. I feel bad that you had to experience it but it sounds like you had a very happy ending.
What region of the country did you go to school?

I actually left out the sorority name on purpose. My point really was the truthful story with the hope that when girls write their stories that rushees (or pnms as they are now called) can learn what to do and not to do under real circumstances. And that if someone posts something about their rush that might not be so flattering about a house or chapter...learn from it and don't be afraid of retaliation if what you said is true, said in good taste, and has a possible benefit to the reader.

So: in full disclosure I will say: I am an alumnae of AEPhi. And I went to USC. (Southern California, not Carolina)

Thank you very much for posting your story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

It was so wonderful to read your story. Thank you for sharing that with us and how wonderful for you and AEPhi!

To the OP (and everyone else), if you haven't already read this rush story, please do so when you get the time because it's my wish that all rush stories could be like this (and like yours too!):

CurlyGirly's UF Experience

I highly recommend it. I'm thinking kdonline (CurlyGirly's HS Journalism teacher) recommends it too!

AEPhi must be very proud to claim you, ellebud! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

There's only a couple it could have been though, right?

^^^

She told us it was USC (California, not Carolina)