Lavalier?
 

I'm a member of the newest chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma, and my boyfriend is a member of Theta Chi here. Our school has a very small Greek system and doesn't have a lot of the same traditions as other schools. I've read about girls being lavaliered (I can make that a verb, right?), and I think it's soooo amazing. However, I know that's nothing he would think to do, because it just isn't done out here in hippy-ville.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

LOL hippy-ville.

This is really something that needs to come from the fraternity, rather than the girlfriend. But you could maybe mention it to him (if you're not afraid of him going OMG COMMITMENT) and ask him to see what his brothers think.

At my school Lavaliering someone isnt taken lightly its the step before engagement. My boyfriend lavaliered me a year into his fraternity, there was only 1 other lavaliered girlfriend of the time. We also had been dating for 4 years- a year after that he proposed at his formal (something everyone else knew and I didnt- but I know I wasnt suppose to know)

In his chapter its meant for girls that you are going to marry. If you end up breaking up with the girl you swallow your lavalier. So the boys make sure not to lavalier just anyone :) They also get thrown into a lake for taking the plunge :)

Each fraternity on campus has their own thing for lavaliering someone though.

We do a candle lighting in my sorority for being lavaliered.

That doesn't sound safe.

haha same here ;) still waiting on mine...:)

At Duke we had three levels, from least to most serious:

1st - Lavalier - this meant you were dating exclusively. You wear the fraternity's letters, so the guy gets some minor "punishment" from his brothers
2nd - Pin - this is the more serious step before engagement. You actually wear his pin, so the guy gets in much more trouble with his brothers
3rd - engagement

These also corresponded to our candle pass. If you blew out the candle on the first time around, it meant you were lavaliered (not sure if that is actually a word), second time meant you were pinned and third time meant engaged!

I've never heard of swallowing your lavalier if it doesn't work out. I don't think that would logically work out at Duke, since in theory you should also swallow his pin and the engagement ring.

I've never heard of swallowing the lavaliere. Sounds like that could do some damage to your GI tract. :/

Lavaliering is not done lightly. At my school, it meant that both partners considered the relationship to be serious, possibly (but not necessarily) leading to marriage. Pinning was even more serious; it was a precursor to engagement.

Sororities usually do candle passes for each step - lavaliering, pinning, engagement, marriage, pregnancy. (When I had my candle pass for my engagement, my sisters somehow got confused into thinking I was pregnant. Nearly 11 years later and still no baby... LOL)

You might talk to your BF, or talk to a mutual friend so that he learns of the idea of lavaliering. If this isn't a tradition at your school, maybe it's time to introduce it. :)

Yeah, there are a lot of traditions to be set because we're a new chapter and we have such a small Greek system.
La dee da...I dunno how/if it'll happen! Oh well, I still found a great guy! ;)

So, I brought up the subject! He didn't know what a lavaliere was, and after I explained what it was, he quickly changed the subject. Mind you, I only said what it was (physically) and not it's usage/importance in some schools. Alas!

That's the "traditional" method. Although there was no real "trouble" within the Fraternity when I was in school. Some good natured ribbing, but for the most part we were proud to have pinmates. It looked good for us to the rest of the campus.

I'm under the impression that neither lavaliering or pinning is done in many (perhaps a majority) of places currently.

Traditions do die sometimes.

Lavaliering and pinning is completely alive and well at Miami!

Ours works the same way, lavaliering first, then pinning, then engagement. During my time there, we had at least five lavelierings, two pinnings and about six or seven engagements.

Too bad I was single, because I always wanted a candlelight! I definitely think at certain schools, this fabulous tradition is alive and well! Once I meet that certain guy, I may just have to come back to have a candlelight. =)

Lavaliers, promise rings, and engagements were popular at my school. While my dad did give his sigma chi pin to my mother which she had made into a ring (he couldnt afford to buy her an engagement ring at the time), I never heard of a story of a fraternity member giving their pin to a girlfriend at my school.

we don't do lavaliering at our school (i wish we did) BUT we did do the candle pass ONCE when someone was pregnant (fourth time around the circle)

Neither does marriage.

Non-sequitur much?

Same at my school. I've never heard of a fraternity man giving his pin to a girl. For us it goes lavalier, promise ring (which is like promising yourself), engagement. I personally feel that promise rings are silly (why not just skip it and get engaged?), but a lot of other people are really into it. It also seems to be a curse in my chapter though, just about every girl that gets promised goes through a bad breakup with that guy within a year....

Bite off!:D

Normaly wearing letters means that you are dating a member of a GLO. You are under their protection as some of the following below!:) But this was in the olden days when Men were Gentlemen and Females were Ladies!:cool:

Lavielering is you are getting serious and is pre anything.

Being Pinned by a Male of a GLO is the next thing to engagement to be wed.

Would I give my Badge to anyone, no! I worked to damn hard to get it and It is mine!:cool:

I know on my campus it is not very common, if still practiced for lavaliering. sp? Some sweethearts get to have a badge, and wear stitched letters. Most other girls can wear screen printed letters. I told my bf about lavaliering, keep hinting, but no idea what he talks about to his guys!

I've started talking to one of his brothers (an alum) who knows more about Greek life on a broader scale. The wheels have been set into motion...maybe. :-)

ooo! I hope so!!! I've tried to get things in motion, but the LCA's here are all not tuned into the cute things. :-/

I think that it is just the guys at our school in general. I have never heard of any girl being lavaliered period, its just not popular :( too bad, it would have been awesome. The closest thing we have is sweethearts being able t wear badges. My boyfriend is a Sigma Chi and we have been together for two years and I am not allowed to wear letters

I would feel weird wearing his letters on a sweatshirt. I borrowed his sweatshirt once when we were at a bus stop and I kept thinking, "Omg what if someone sees me!"

I DO, however, want to make shirts that say "If I were a guy, I'd be a Theta Chi" I think it's different because Theta Chi is spelled out. Or am I just being weird about that?

I do not think that the boys would say anything if I did... but I would feel weird. We do have screen-print shirts though. Last year the boys had shirts made for our entire chapter (several of the sisters are dating brothers) that said AEPhi Loves Sigma Chi one the front (in letters) and then on the back it had the last line from the sweetheart song with AEPhi inserted fro Sigma Chi. They are really cute!

Yeah, I know what you mean. Haha, maybe I should change my GC name...Lucy is my dog's name. :-P
Maybe I just associated the lettered shirts with membership and lavaliers with something different? That's the best answer I can come up with. Although (correct me if I'm wrong), I don't think the significance of the letters "Theta Chi" are secret. The helping hand? I hear that all the time.

Awkward!
 

Sooo I brought it up again. We were at a restaurant two nights ago, and I asked him if he knew what a lavalier was (again) then re-explained it. I told him how sometimes girls in sororities will give their littles a lavalier with the sorority's letters after they are initiated. Then I started to tell him about guys giving girls their fraternity letters on a lavalier. I said something like, "I just think it's super cute." It got awkward for about 2 seconds, then our food arrived.

Ahhhhh! I give up.

Awww! I go to school up north, and they don't do the lavaliering, but my boyfriend was very determined to not give up his pin (he told me never ever ever would he give it to me!) so I mentioned about it a little bit, and one of the older brothers mentioned that his older brothers (biological) had lavaliered his girlfriend, so my boyfriend thought about it, and was very against it at first, but after awhile, decided to do it.

He lavaliered me on my birthday (and then pinned me a few months later-that was over 2 years ago!)

I hope it works out for you!

I think he's gonna lav me on our anniversary but I don't wanna get my hopes up! Ahhh he's been dropping hints, and I think that's what it is. Ahhhh!

P.S. What on EARTH should I get him? He doesn't wear jewelry or else I would have gotten him a Theta Chi ring.

Does anyone know about sweetheart letters? My big sis was telling me that people used to make sweatshirts with the frat letters and sorority letters on them to show that people were dating. I wanted to make my friend (ok well he's more than a friend) sweetheart letters, but i want to know what his punishment would be, before I make them. I dono if it helps to know where he is, He's a Phi Kappa Psi in Missouri and I'm a Delta Delta Delta in California.

Soooo...guess what! He lavaliered me! He gave me the lavalier a few weeks ago, but I didn't write about it until now because we JUST had the candle pass ceremony. I seriously couldn't stop smiling when I saw the lav.

The ceremony was so nice and everyone "oohed" and "aahed" when our president explained what its purpose was. They oohed and aahed a lot more when I turned off the candle! :-)

Congrats!

Lavaliering and pinning were two of my favorite traditions when I was in school. It was always exciting to walk into the house and see the candle sitting on the table, the announcement there was a candlepass that night. Everyone started speculating on who could it be? It was the talk of the house for the whole day. It can't be Jane, she's only been dating her guy a month. It can't be Susie. She's been dating her boyfriend forever and if he hasn't given her his pin by now, he never will. :D

Then after dinner everyone would gather around and the pass would start. I loved the song we sang. The candle slowly moved around the room. Everybody watched the girls we thought it might be but they passed the candle on to the next. Wow, not her or her! I thought for sure it was one of those. One of the top "contenders" made a move to blow it out. Psyche! Nope not her either. The candle continued around the circle.

One time around and everyone clapped and cheered. A pinning! Wait, could it even be an engagement? (A real rarity when I was in school.) The singing started up again and the anticipation was even stronger. The field of potential candidates had significantly narrowed. All eyes were now on the girls we knew were already lavaliered. (Every once in a blue moon we'd have a shocker with someone who's boyfriend skipped lavaliering and went straight to pinning.)

Finally the candle got blown out and the room erupted with clapping, cheering and hugs. Not long afterwards the sounds of male singing could be heard outside. All the sisters would file outside to be seranaded by the guy's fraternity. They would sing hello and we would sing/answer back. Then the young man in question would be drug out to the front of the pack to sing to his lady love. The girl would shyly be pushed forward as well and the singing continued.

The whole thing was sweet and it's a lovely memory. (Especially if you don't think about everyone heading to the nearest bar afterwards for an impromptu mixer. Though those were always fun too. :D)

Somehow "turning off the candle" just doesn't resonate like "blowing out the candle". Ah well . . .congratulations, LucyKKG!

Congrats on your lavaliering Lucy!!! The other girl who was on here talking about it AEPhiLC also got lavaliered over break!

Im having a similar issue... also i just subscribed today... can anyone tell me how to post a new thread?

This kind of thing makes me wish I was in a Greek system with this tradition. But we're too small (and sororities are unhoused) for it to ever work.

LOVE the idea of a ring for the guy. My bf (in sigma chi) always hints at lavaliering me, and my birthday AND our anniversary are coming up, within a month of each other, and I want to be able to give him something as well :)

Sorry to post again, but up here at my university in Canada, we have one fraternity and three sororities, and have been here less than 20 years. You can always start a tradition ;)

I would hint at it. But be wary of the "curse of the lavaliere". Seriously, it seems like every couple that has been "lavaliered", they haven't lasted. But that's just me. It depends on how you are viewing the lavaliere. It can be seen as a sign of his devotion to you to go steady, or as a pre-engagement. Plus, he would have to look into Theta Chi to see how they handle this.

Good luck!

Can non greeks lavalier?
 

I'm a sister of Alpha Omicron Pi, but my boyfriend is not in a fraternity. I know a bunch of y'all saw the Greek episode where Caseys (non-greek) boyfriend lavalieres her (admit it, we all watch it!) This gave my boyfriend the idea of lavaliering me, but what are the rules behind that? Can he do it? Would i just be lavaliered with my own letters?