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Interested Party saying hello!
Hello, everyone. I'm new to the boards, and I would appreciate your feedback on this.
When I was an undergrad at UC Berkeley, I rushed during my sophomore year. I loved meeting the girls in all of the different houses, but there was one house that I really admired and wanted to join. I thought the girls were awesome - smart, funny, kind and beautiful...I would have been proud to call them sisters. Anyway, I made it through most of rush week (day 4 of 7) before I was dropped. I was heartbroken! I stayed in touch with a couple of the members while I was a student, but we all drifted apart after college. Fast-forward to today...I'm a successful law student 1 year away from graduation (December 2008), and I'm thinking about doing an L.L.M. abroad after finishing my J.D. But I'm still thinking about the house that I missed out on, and I'd love to join. How should I approach this? |
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Absolutely any way but this way. First of all, calling yourself a "Future AI" is extremely presumptious. Also, naming the sorority you're persuing is a huge no-no. Listen, I know I'm being "Debbie Downer", but if you were already told "NO" by collegiate memebers, I think it's horrible that you want to back-door into a spesific GLO anyway. I would be pissed if I was one of those sisters who spent all night doing MS to find out that people we cut were getting in anyway. |
I don't think that doing AI to join any sorority would be a "back-door" maneuver. I am honestly admitting that I still admire and want to be a part of the organization, and I will still be subject to the scrutiny of National and the local Alumnae chapter. I can't hide anything!
And I'm sorry that you think that my method of bringing up this issue was improper, but I wasn't sure precisely how to ask the question -- so rather than going for perfection, I just said what was on my mind. This is a message board where people post items to discuss, right? |
Welcome to GC;)
(AF, you know how I meant it) haha. |
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Anyway, you two girls have fun. I've got some volunteer work to do, and then I'm going to go study. I will pursue my dream of joining the sorority that I admire, one way or the other...and it's up to them, not you, to tell me yes or no. Period. |
May I suggest you go and read the past posts here in the AI section? It will give you a great deal of information and also some perspective.
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You might want to re-establish / reconnect / reforge the friendship ties that you made with those sorority friends. It's better that they are the ones to recommend you as a prospective candidate for membership, rather than you approach the org. directly yourself, on your own recommendation for membership. Going forward, I would also refer to yourself as a "Prospective Candidate", rather than as a "Future AI". It's best to err on the side of caution and humility. |
Please read the FAQs in the forum and practice the utmost discretion. this is a very touchy subject on GC with strong feelings on both side of the fence.
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And, calling yourself a "Future AI" even though you have now changed the title is just like saying- "I'm going to be an ABC!!" When homegirl hasn't even gone through recruitment yet. But, I can see how my post wouldn't be seen that way. (There have been lots of threads about the rampant snarkiness on GC-maybe you should check them out) |
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AI should be an honor... not a right. |
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As an alumna member I seriously question any woman who went to a college with a large/active Greek system and didn't end up joining then and then wants to AI. |
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As someone who has gone through law school, I can't imagine being in my last year and wanting to take on an additional non-law related committment. Is AI your dream or is your dream something that you missed out on? Your dream of being a collegiate sorority member is something that has come and passed, so is AI really something that could fulfill your dreams? Does it fit into your future after law school? |
PLUS op stated that she wanted to perhaps go abroad for study after law school. I don't see how, unless I'm missing something, her desire to join Pi Phi is going to translate into AI. I think that AI is something which should come from the alumnae group - not the pnm.
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How many "HI I WENT THROUGH RECRUITMENT, BUT ENDED UP NOT JOINING A SORORITY, AND NOW I'M 40, ALL MY KIDS ARE GROWN UP AND I'M READY TO TRY AGAIN, AND OMG! I'M SO EXCITED I FOUND GC BECAUSE I NEVER KNEW ABOUT AI BEFORE THIS I'M SO EXCITED NOW I CAN FULFILL MY COLLEGE DREAM OF BEING IN A SORORITY!!!!!!!" people have we had? I'd say alot. It's one thing if you (general, not directed at anyone specific) already have some kind of connection (whether you pledged, but could never initiate, or you happen to be friends with someone in XYZ), and the person thinks high enough of you to recommend you for AI, and it's quite another to be stalking the HQ and the Alum Assoc. trying to get an "in" just because you had a dream of joining a sorority that never came to be in your college years. |
You didn't "miss out on" this sorority, they declined to offer you membership. Why would you want to join an organization that already rejected you? I've also never understood how women on this board who want to AI can feel any ties to a sorority from a failed recruitment or just from reading the Web site...really, you probably don't know anything about the sorority, so how can you admire it?
I believe AI should be something you're invited to do, not just a form of recruitment for older women. |
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I have no idea about the OP and her follow up seems a little trollish. But to those of you who said that you'd be really suspicious of a women who went someplace with a big Greek system and didn't join who was interested in AI, are you sure?
I can think of people that I know who went to UGA and weren't Greek who would be great AIs, assuming of course that a group approached them. Heck, whenever we have "SEC Greek Life is insane conversations," don't a lot of you feel like if you had gone to one of the SEC schools, you never would have rushed? It's be hard to hold it against someone for misjudging something that is often confusing from the outside looking in. And if a women whom you personally knew would be a benefit to a service organization of some other kind was interested in serving your GLO as an alumna, would you really hold it against her that she didn't get Greek Life in college? People who rushed 27 times and didn't get matched, of course, are a different story. I'd be suspicious of their motives too. |
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But she DID rush, and was dropped by ALL HOUSES, including the one she's wanting to pursue (according to her post) on day FOUR of SEVEN. It's not like she even made it to prefs. I guess it's possible she fell victim to the new RFM's...but it's kind of doubtful. If she's almost done with law school, then she's at least my age, and I don't think a huge amount of schools were using the new system when I rushed. The other possible option is that maybe she didn't have the grades, but, once again, since she's in law school, it's doubtful. |
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No one is holding anything against people who never went greek.. the discussion here is people who rushed, got dropped by all houses, and are trying to find a back door in because of their "college dream" that was never fulfilled. |
I went to Preference Night at the specific sorority the OP wants to AI into (as well as Tri Delta). Even though I'm not a member of the other group, obviously, I have in the past supported this other sorority in small ways, primarily by sending small donations to their foundation, etc. because I admire their philanthropy efforts dealing with literacy, and because I remember how wonderful the women were went I went through rush.
I once knew this really nice guy who was in a fraternity and every so often he'd send money to the foundation (or whatever) of the sorority that had been next to his fraternity in college, because he really liked the women there and still thought so highly of them. My point is, there are other ways to support a collegiate sorority and show your support of them and the work they do without necessarily becoming a member. |
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2) I did question someone who wanted to AI with my alumnae chapter (she went to WA St Univ.) and I never heard from her again once I started asking questions so obviously, she didn't like my questions. Since her first email was very excited to find this opportunity. 3) The OP said she was dropped, in my mind that should be enough for all of us. I for one, trust my sisters. |
It never occurred to me - until I joined Greek Chat - that women would ever pursue AI. I've helped two women to AI, and in both cases the alumnae chapter approached them. I firmly believe it should be an honour - an invitation extended from the alumnae chapter to a woman they already know meets our high ideals.
Any Pi Phis wish to weigh in on this? |
It seems like we rarely AI women. They tend to be people like Barbara Bush and prominent local leaders and descendants of founders.
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From what I know, we also rarely AI women. Aside from the daughter of the International President that was initiated at Convention, I have met just a few women that are AIs...they are all extremely active and supported alumnae, and they all experienced circumstances that prevented them from joining in the collegiate years that are truly extenuating...i.e. one was a pledge but did not initiate because she served as a WAVE during WWII, another was a pledge, but did not initiate because she got married when her fiance was drafted to serve in Korea, etc. None of them pursued AI, they were invited by other very involved alums who had a close personal relationship with these women and knew that they would be much more active than the average alum.
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Example of an AI
My mother is an AI. She had belonged to a local sorority at SWTX.
She was very involved in my collegiate chapter, always helping out at rush (recruitment!) and throughout the year. She was very involved in our alumnae chapter, and she and I advised a collegiate chapter. After I dropped out after the birth of my first child, she continued to advise the chapter - which meant a 5 hour round trip every Monday night, and staying in the chapter dorm during rush. |
AI member
Hello all,
as a transfer student, I am now an initiated member of the very same sorority that cut me at my old school. Just because one chapter of a certain organization didn't want you doesn't mean the entire organization across the country well reject you. I feel that each chapter is different although we do wear the same letters and have same rituals/philanthropies and whatnot. A women who may not have been a good fit for one chapter could be a great sister at another. Just like a former PNM should not hold a grudge against a certain sorority because one of their chapter cut you in the past, just because someone didn't get a bid from one chapter shouldn't make you a "no-go" forever. Ok, so let's say you rushed when you're in college and didn't get a bid from X chapter of XYZ. Maybe you wanted to be an member of that chapter, maybe not. Not getting a bid from a certain organization doesn't mean that PNM "wanted" to be a member. Maybe she got a bid from somewhere else -- exactly what happened to me at my old school. I got a bid from a sorority that I liked, didn't accept the bid for a personal reason. I transferred 2 yrs later and rushed again, got a bid from a different chapter and I pledged because I wanted to be in a sorority and the timing was right. My point is, I don't think women who are interested in AI membership should be penalized for not getting a bid from a sorority in the past. It's possible she was dropped by every sorority, but it is also likely that she got a bid from somewhere else or dropped out of the recruitment for various reasons. |
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If a women went through every kind of recruitment and was dropped a bunch of times, I'd question her interest and qualifications. But I also know that at many big Greek campuses good young women do slip through the cracks at some great chapters or drop out of recruitment. I'm not sure that when you are whittling down the 1000+ PNMs to your pledge class of about 50, that every cut unnecessarily reflects any kind of absolute lifelong judgment about a women. Even if a girl did get cut out of rush midway when she was 18, I'm not sure that means she wouldn't be a good AI later. But I agree that I'd ask some questions. |
I'm really puzzled by the extreme reaction to AI illicited on greekchat. If our organizations are meant to be useful to women through out their lives and not just for the college years, why are we so suspicious of women who wish to join later in life? Our goals are to provide women with the chance to be part of something greater than themselves...why is this only open to 18-21 year olds? If one chapter (who we all will admit often make decisions based on appearance or reputation rather than the qualities of a women that really count like leadership potential, level of commitment,etc) does not wish to give a woman a bid, why does this exclude her from joining another chapter of the same organization? Our organizations are larger than just one chapter or just one member. Women may identify with our missions, philanthropies or programming even if rejected by a chapter earlier in life. If we want to improve our alumnae participation, why exclude women who want to participate? Last time I checked, there wasn't an overwhelming rush of women trying to "sneak" in! I actually feel that alumnae initiates would be more likely to accept a lifetime commitment and follow through than the thousands of 18 year olds each year who make the same commitment but don't follow through.
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READ THE REST OF THE AI FORUM.
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I have, Alpha Frog, and I still disagree.
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I know I don't agree with some of the membership decisions made by my sisters....however, they are my sisters. If I found out that a prospective AI went through rush at any school with a chapter of ASA and was dropped by the ASA chapter, forget her. Who in the world am I to think that my opinion should override that of 30-200 other women? Lots of women join sororities for the wrong reasons. Some of them are 18, and some of them are 30. The problem is when they join at age 30, it's a lot harder to get rid of them. |
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And as far as the OP - she DID NOT get a bid elsewhere, she DID NOT drop out of rush. She says that she was dropped on day 4 of a 7 day rush week. Maybe other groups offered her bids or kept her on through the week (she doesn't really say) but the fact is, the group she wants to be in told her NO. Anyone who uses phrases like "one way or the other" really isn't a good candidate for AI. It should be something to do because you want to give, not because you have something to prove. |
Yes, there are many women who would be an asset to a sorority. That is why the AI programs exist. But none of the AI programs with which I am familiar have any provision for "rushing" AI prospects. They are predicated on the idea that active alumnae will know women who would benefit from membership and contribute, and those alumnae begin the process. It's the difference between being invited to a party, and crashing.
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