Is 40 to old to join a sorority?
 

Well I'm 40 years old and just decided that i want to go back to school. The only problem is I dont want to show up to school and apply for a sorority if it's not permitted to my age group. So please help me not make a fool of myself.:o

While I'm sure more seasoned GCers will soon be on to give you a better idea, this is what I've surmised from my experience at my school and also reading GC threads:

- Most (if not all) groups do not have an age limit, per se, but because the selection process is to a certain extent based on who a group feels comfortable with, there will be many groups that will not be able to see past the fact that you are much older than them. Some of it may be for superficial reasons, but I can imagine my former self in college feeling sort of skeptical in whether I could have a peer-relationship with a 40 year old woman in a sorority. I'd like to think I'm more enlightened now, but that is one thing maturity brings.
- Being barred from the process because of age and receiving a bid are two separate things. A lot will depend on where you are going through recruitment. If it is a competitive recruitment school, women who are less likely to fit the "ideal sorority candidate" mold for that school are unfortunately more likely to get through the process without having received a bid. If it is a less competitive school in terms of recruitment, then who is to say whether there will be a group of 20 something women who find that you would be a great addition to their group and you feel you would like to join.
- In short, find out more about your school and how competitive the process is to better assess your specific situation, and then decide if the chance of having a sorority experience is worth taking the chance of going through recruitment and not receiving a bid.

What type of sorority are you interested in?

An NPC group? Yes, I think you are too old.

When I was Membership Adviser (rush), we had a 30 year old come thru recruitment. I never said a word about her age nor did any adviser. The chapter president asked "why a 30 year old would want to hang out with 18 and 19 year old hormone driven twits?" Frankly, I thought that was very astute of her. She couldn't see the chapter assimilating this woman due to what she rightly perceived as a maturity issue, not an age issue. We had advisers younger than this woman. What sort of relationship would you as a 40 year old expect to have with 18 and 19 year olds? I think the disparity in maturity and life experience would be too great to operate properly in a college sorority environment. How on earth would you relate at a fraternity mixer? Very difficult.

It all depends what kind of sorority, and what the campus is like. If 3/4 of the campus is returning students, obviously everyone else is going to be "old" also.

Not only that....not all sororities have fraternity mixers.

I thought 40 was the new 25 or sumn....LOL

Many sororities don't officially bar people over a certain age. Unofficially you will run into some obstacles based on the particular chapter.

I don't see why someone who is 40 would want to be in a collegiate chapter. If you're looking at a commuter school where people are over the traditional college age, the members of the sororities are often a nonrepresentative sample and still tend to be in their 20s. What do you really have in common with those younger women besides being a college student (and being sisters in a sorority that you love)?

You can love most of the same sororities at the alumnae chapter level. There, you will be able to interact with sisters younger, your age, and older and you won't be confined to collegiate level activities, schedules, and concepts of sisterhood.

But I completely understand wanting the collegiate experience. I know mostly men who have joined NPHC fraternities in their 30s (rarely in their 40s). They loved the experience but did it because they wanted the collegiate experience as distinct from the graduate chapter experience. Not because they truly felt they would really want to be running around with 19-20 year olders. Aside from the social events where they relived their youth, they ended up doing a lot of the service events and serving as mentors to the younger chapter members.

I second that. I understand the desire to be involved on campus no matter what your age, but NPC groups are pretty much geared towards the typical college aged crowd. I remember a guy who was a 6th year engineering student (he had changed majors at some point) who was 24 and he seemed ancient when I was in college (so sad, I know). We all couldn't understand why he wanted to hang out with people so much younger. I think it would be much worse for a 40 year old.

Depending on what you hope to accomplish when joining the sorority would be the determining factor. My sorority has no age limit and is community service driven, there are some that focus on social, there are others that are academic, it just depends on what you're interests are and if you'd get along with them that's all that should matter in my opinion.

you seem young and spry, go for it.

While I know that DZ has no age limit, as a 35 year-old woman, I can't imagine why I'd want to spend a lot of my time associating with women nearly half my age. I love my collegiate sisters, but their lives and what is important to them is so different from mine.

Maybe you could contact local alumnae chapters of the sororities in your area and speak to them about possibly becoming an alumnae initiate? You would still be able to share the experience of sisterhood, but get the benefit of hanging out with women who most likely have more in common with you than the younger members.

I think you should do your research about the organizations you want to join and see if it is something that is critically important for your life at this time.

Your primary reason for going to college is to get an education. When you join any organization, it should also go along with your values that you support.

Good luck on your endeavors.

You are very, very correct. We have a nearby school that does have alot of returning students and there is a mix of age ranges in their Greek system. You see more older students in the fraternities rather than sororities.

I don't think it's a matter of wanting to "hang out" with women who are not just 18 and 19-year olds, but with more and more seniors delaying college or taking longer to graduate, most of the seniors that graduate from here are 23 and 24 years old.

While I can understand if your particular school has only a younger crowd, fully dismissing what an older student has to offer is the same thing as saying as your advisors have nothing to offer the sorority either...and we all know that isn't true.

Keep in mind that GPA to GPA, adult students usually outperform, younger students, and to be able to tap into that life experience, in my opinon, is valuable.

Sororities are for the promotion of women, younger women as a tradition, but I just think it's important to be open minded.

I've noticed that too with non-trads. They are also a lot more into the class discussions, on average. My own conclusions from these observations is just that non-trad people aren't in college for the social aspects, as well as for the educational aspects. Perhaps that's because most of them already have been busy creating an outside life for themselves before coming to college, whereas traditional students are kind of starting out their entire lives from scratch when they come to college, in certain ways.

I guess the OP here is kind of the exception since she wants to be focused on things in college besides her classes.

Don't you have to be a college graduate to be an AI? That might be a misconception on my part, hence why I am asking the question.

That's what I thought, too.

Our code of regulations state nothing about having to graduate from college to be nominated as an AI. Only that a petition for the proposed member must be signed by the alumnae chapter contact person and a collegiate chapter president if a college chapter is within the vicinity of the alumnae chapter and then submitted to National Council or a committee if so authorized for approval.

A good example, Florence Henderson is an AI of Delta Zeta and I found no mention of her having graduated or even attended any kind of college or university. Obviously, that is an extreme example, but if we have one AI who did not attend any college/university (even though she is famous), I don't see how we could require it of other AI's.

I can't speak for other NPC's though. It might be different from group to group.

No. Check out the thread "Interested Party Saying Hello!" in the AI forum for more info on that.

I would suggest joining a community sorority. My boyfriend's mother and sister joined one of those [the same one], and they love it. It gives them the experience but realizes that they have more time commitments. I would imagine that you have no idea how much time a traditional sorority really takes.

I am a little confused as to your post. Are you suggesting that she not go AI? While we're suggesting other options, she could always seek out membership in a woman's Masonic organization. There are a bunch out there and I know they are always excited for new members.

I am saying that she should not attempt to go AI, ESPECIALLY by approaching the sorority herself.

After reading the other thread you mentioned, I can see shy you suggested she not go AI. HOWEVER, as a member of an alumnae chapter, if this woman approached me and explained her situation, I would at least consider her as a possible AI. I just don't share the same opinion about what AI is for as some of the other posters who are as passionate as they are.

DZRose, I think AI is such a touchy subject on GC because each group handles it differently (it is harder to do in some chapters than others, and impossible in some) and also because some women don't want to see the privilege abused. I don't agree that the arguments need to get as heated as they sometimes do on this topic, but I can see why some women on here get a little frustrated with the discussions. AI is thrown out there as a last resort sometimes for women who didn't get in while in college or for whatever reason couldn't/didn't pursue collegiate membership. There are certainly cases where AI is warranted and is a benefit to the organization, especially since so many are really pushing for alumni involvement (the key to keeping the org as a whole going is the support of its alumnae since you are an alumna for far more many years than you are a collegiate for), but I also agree that it's not for every woman either.

Um, no. This is a ridiculous comparison because you don't want collegiates acting like advisors (although responsibility is a good characteristic). Of course advisors are valuable to chapters; lots of chapters struggle in one way or another with poor or no advisory support. However, a 40 year old advisor and a 40 year old collegiate member are completely different. Advisors are ALUMNAE who advise the chapter and the officers. They do not participate in the day to day activities of the chapter (although there are several events throughout each semester that alumnae are welcome and encouraged to attend).

Really consider the climate of your campus. What is the age range of the students? What is the age range of the Greeks? At a campus where 99.9% of the Greeks are 18-22, the LAST thing a chapter would seek is a 40 year old new member to advise them like their mother!

Realistically, if she approaches the sorority, the worst she'll get is a no. I'm not encouraging it, but there isn't harm in her talking to the local alum chapters with the hope of finding out more information. They'll tell her what's up.

Twenty-five responses -- all this great advice -- wonder if she'll ever sign back on to see the answers?!

Very much doubt it... I think we should abandon this one and the AI one going on since the OPs don't seem to be at all as interested in hearing the advice compared to how interested we are in doling it out.

I think they would be more interested if the advice was like this.

Haha.

I agree.

Beta Sigma Phi (www.betasigmaphi.org) is a wonderful example of a more community based sorority for women. You still have socials, service opportunities, and leadership opportunities available to you (the amount of which vary from chapter to chapter). There is still a time and financial commitment but it's no where near the time/financial commitment that a traditional college sorority will require of you. There is a lot more to sorority time than scheduled meetings(more of which would be required for you as a new member), social events, sisterhoods, service events, etc. Participation and attendence at these are often times mandatory as well.

On the heels of the "My Little Pony", see if you can solve this very difficult rebus:

http://www.westchestergov.com/curren...Leafblower.JPG + http://boonage.pjss2.net/images/cont...sunshine-1.jpg

CP2K dear, you're missing a key ingredient of your rebus:

http://www.dkimages.com/discover/pre...2/50242993.JPG

Funny how?:confused:

Well I thought it was funny :D

Pretty darn funny
 

Is that you holding that leaf blower, Tom Earp?! :D

HAHAHAHAHA! I had that same thought! :)

Oh thank God I wasn't the only one who thought that!!!
:p

Maybe this is just the mean person screaming inside me, but I thought it was funny.

Am I the only person here who thinks it's odd that a 40 year old would want to join a sorority with a bunch of 18-22 year olds and that they would have to come online to solicit advice?

This isn't happy pony rainbow land, if you want to blow sunshine up people's behinds, head that way.

Better yet, stay there.

Sorry in advance for the double post, but I saw this and wanted to hurl.
In my best Sigourney Weaver from Alien voice, "Kill me...please."

This is a bad idea...one should not solicit organizations for AI...AI is not for everyone, sorority life is not for everyone. This is why we are selective organizations.

I recall my last semester as an undergrad, tabling during Fall Rush. We were approached by an older woman who expressed interest in attending one of our Rush events. We assumed (not thinking) that she was a grad student because she looked well into her 40s. She said she was getting her BA, but we still gave her that "well, we don't want you to come because you're OLD" look. She still came to one of the parties, but she got the hint when it was clear that she had absolutely nothing in common with the rushees and she left early.

So we were shallow and rude. So what? That was our way of thinking at 18-22 years old. But what are you gonna do about it? It's those 18-22 year olds who gets the final say in who's in and who isn't.

To the OP (if you're even still around), I'm going to be blunt and say that you probably shouldn't do it. That lady who came to our rush event was clearly humiliated. Unless you get off on that stuff, you probably shouldn't attempt to go through recruitment.