Severe social anxiety
 

I am painfully shy, in person. Once I am comfortable I can be pretty outgoing, but when I am not I freeze up and I cannot say one word. It's beginning to get on my nerves, really. Please, someone outgoing, give me some advice on how to overcome this.

Oh yeah, what's even worse is that somehow I attract friends that are also shy and quiet,
and the few outgoing friends I had they seem to split. That does not help my situation.

Social Anxiety can suck big time. I swing between mini panic attacks at the thought of being in a crowd to social butterfly.

There are medications out ther to help social anxiety. But, if you're like me; the thought of taking those pills is none to appealing.

Normally my advice is get more involved. But I know you're already in APhiO. Are you in any other groups?

It is easier when your friends are out going too. But you don't actually have control over that.

If you try to meet one new person a week; that may help you in the long run. Just swallow the nerves and say hi to that guy sitting next to you in class. When there's no extra seats for lunch in the student union; ask to sit w/ some strangers at a table.

Not being a shy is something you have to practice at. There's no magic cure!

Yeah that is toughest, I need someone who can connect me to the outside world. Being an only child, my mom being an only child, my dad being the only boy, having super overprotective grandparents who I spent a whole lot of time with when I was growing up, and having friends who are just as anti-social as I am leads me to no knowledge on how to deal with people.

Do you really have a "social anxiety disorder" that may require medication like Paxil or Zanax? Or are you that "antisocial"? Do you want to be "more outgoing"? And if so, do you know how? In my experience, avoiding group situations was out of fear of the unknown or being unable to "relate" to folks as if they were laughing at me... Somehow, I got over it and don't really care what folks think about me. So, I can suggest some ways you can work through your situations? Hit me up on the email!

I've been on paxil twice. It helped, but it made me really drowsy. I am currently taking prozac and I think it is actually making my anxiety worse. Yeah, I know how to be outgoing, but I seem to scare people away when I "open up". They usually percieve me as funny at first and then they scatter. It beats me!?!

Well, I don't know if this helps any...but have you ever thought about visiting a psychologist? I took Psychology last semester and learned about Social Anxiety Disorder. Many times, the patients are not successful until they visit a Therapist, who can see if maybe they have an underlying fear.

Medications help, but most importantly, seeing someone who can see if there are underlying causes can probably be of greater help http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

Does that help? Hope everything works out for you!

Isn't prozac against depression? If you are shy isn't that something completely different? Plus - I think it is cute! Why be so anxious about it.

I thought Prozac was for Social Anxiety? I know that Paxil is, though.

Also, if you were NOT diagnosed with Social Anxiety, then just relaxing more will help a lot. But if you DO have Social Anxiety Disorder, a combo of seeing a therapist + medications really helps.

More on that later...

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited May 29, 2001).]

Yep, more than I can count on my right hand.
Perhaps, it can be something more than anxiety, I have even more trouble relating to people especially on a group basis and other females. Believe it or not I am entirely different in person than I am on GC, well, until people get to know me.

To be honest, I used to have the same problem SH80... I just sort of grew out of it. It was like waking up one day and being like "What the hell was I thinking?"

I think some form of social anxiety exists for everyone (obviously some more than others).
Its all in how you deal with it. You can either let it control you, or, everytime you start to feel anxiety, you can immediately force yourself to say "hi" to a stranger, or strike up a conversation with some "random". That's what I used to do, now I have no problem with talking to strangers, or even in front of groups of people. Give it a shot...

------------------
Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

Hi there SH80! That does sound like Social Anxiety Disorder, to me. Since the term is basically defined as "extremely afraid of group interaction," etc. (Well, don't quote me on that, that's just the basic definition. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif)

Are you more afraid of interaction between females or males? There might be subdivisions to Social Anxiety, too...I will have to get back to you on that one, I'm gonna look up my old notes again http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

Good luck and take care until then!

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited May 29, 2001).]

Chatting with males isn't so bad, but with females, they intimidate the heck out of me.
And, again I think my communication problems has to do more with me relating to people than social anxiety. The first time I ever had constant contact with people was when I join APhiO and ZTA. And, that was just within the last year.

Chatting with males isn't so bad, but with females, they intimidate the heck out of me.
And, again I think my communication problems has to do more with me relating to people than social anxiety. The first time I ever had constant contact with people was when I join APhiO and ZTA. And, that was just within the last year.

Chatting with males isn't so bad, but with females, they intimidate the heck out of me.
And, again I think my communication problems has to do more with me relating to people than social anxiety. The first time I ever had constant contact with people was when I join APhiO and ZTA. And, that was just within the last year.

Sorry, I didn't mean to triple post. I was having technical difficulties.

Social anxiety isn't constant. Plus, I didn't know they were there as I told you guys in an earlier post. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Sometimes I'm really shy, other times I'm really outgoing, it comes and goes in bouts. Something that helped my during one shy bout was working in a retail store. It was my job to greet people and offer help, so I had to go up and talk to them. At first it was kinda scary, but after awhile it builds your confidence. Plus, the interaction is pretty short & there's not a lot of pressure to have deep conversation.
Good luck
Heidi

Hi SH80! I am totally pulling for you, girl! You know...it might not be social anxiety at all, perhaps far from it...perhaps it has just elevated into a habit? That is, a habit of being very scared of interaction...were you very shy when you were a little girl, too? That might have something to do with it. Plus, since everything's harder when you grow older, the fear must have intensified quite a bit.

In elementary school, I used to be somewhat shy, at times. However, i'm also the type of person who can be SOO outgoing at times, too. I realized that the more that I thought about shyness, the more shy I would become. ALSO, shyness to others is usually unfortunately perceived as snobbiness/reserve. Do you ever seem distant to others, perhaps?

AND, body language really helps, too! I find any person who doesn't look at you while you are talking to them somewhat rude-ish. Also, I find a person who crosses his arms somewhat closed-off. I do undersatnd though that sometimes they are just feeling awkward with the situation http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif. What kind of body language do you have? I'm sure that you are a WONDERFUL person...now walk into a room, and BELIEVE that, honey!! The aura that you give off truly affects how people react to you.

Also...maybe if you did something really wonderful for yourself, you would feel better about yourself...which would immediately translate to self-confidence, which immediately translates to an attractive person, which others will see immediately? Maybe get that new top you've been eyeing (not too-low-cut of course! It's all in the way you wear it.), go get some new kinds of exercise that will be invigorating for your body/mind, get a new hairstyle??

These are just all suggestions, I'm hoping that I'm at least helping you a little!! I know that you are a wonderful person, now KNOW it and ACT like it, honey! It's not being arrogant...it's just knowing that you are WORTH it. That confidence is so attractive, and I guarantee that friends will be swarming to you.

Also, please don't hesitiate to visit a Therapist. SO many times, people hold the misconception that visiting a Therapist is only for a so-called "sick" patient. That is simply not true. I have a friend who is perrfectly normal/sane/whatever who visits her Therapist just about every 2 weeks...just to get everything off her mind. I firmly believe that you should do whatever you can to make yourself feel better http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you--but I'm hoping it will! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Write back, and good luck, we're all pulling for you SH80!

Hmmm. Does this social anxiety cause you to "bounce your boobs in front of janitors", as you told us you did in an earlier post?