Gentlemen, how can we ladies honor you?
 

Dear Men of GC:

I need ideas how you all would like to be honored by the ladies. If you all could refrain from "sexual innuendo" and make suggestions that friends and family could enjoy, please share what would be a great 4 hour day for you!

ETA: Ladies of GC, you may answer, but let the Gentleman give their thoughts.

In what context?

If there was an "quasi-formal" event the ladies could plan for the fellas, what would that be? Would there be a program and what else you all like that you think you might enjoy?

Men like four things. The first three come from Tweet:

1. Sports.
2. Sex.
3. Food.
4. To be left alone.

You've asked us to refrain from sexual innuendo... well, that's half of a man's life right there.

You asked that it's something the family can enjoy...well, most guys I know who like sports don't enjoy watching sports with family. Friends, yes.

I dunno, it sounds like you're trying to craft an event for women that's for men but really for women and men will happen to be there.

On the whole, I don't believe that most men like being appreciated in the same ways that women do.


But then, this is probably a question for DaemonSeid.

Kind of what Senusret wrote . . .

The first thing I thought when you said event for the guys was . . . will the ladies be there?

Because almost anything you would do for them as a group would involve you not being there.

How do gentlemen like being appreciated? The reason why I ask is where I live, IHMO, men are treated poorly.

See my list above.... add to that "Say thank you and mean it."

It's a wrap.

Just tell us where to be and what to wear....

This is because most men deserve it. :)

hater

I am still not quite sure of the context. Do you mean one on one, like you with a friend or SO. Or do you mean like the girls taking a small group of guys out . . or are we talking awards banquet now?

The answers for each would be different.

How would we know? We're treated so poorly.

U either don't have a man or he has taken the Ike Turner Correspondence Course huh?

Well, give us ladies your answers for each of them:

1) one on one

2) with a friend/SO

3) Girls taking a small group of guys out--especially that one--who, what, where, when and why...

4) Awards Banquet--like if you could actually attend the ESPN ESPY Awards Show or the Las Vegas Porn Show...

This is NOT about dating, it is more about, if a group of GROWN WOMEN could show her special "ADULT" men a good time, what would THAT BE? In your opinion...

Hey, if it has never happened to you, that's fine, without getting vulgar, what would be your fantasy?

Please. Let us let the gentlemen respond in kind... We ladies want them to be adventuresome and to be honest... ;) :D :p

Okey,

My husband said if there was one place I could take him to have a good time, that would be "go kart" racing... Then he can practice his driving skills uninhibited...

Because he said that to me, and I know he has driven the Mercedes AMG Challenge for 3 years, I asked how come he just doesn't go to that? He knew when the next one was in 2008 in our area, which means that, guess what, I will buy him is advance course to take...

What do you GC Fellas like to do and if your woman or women got you those kinds of activities, what would you think about it?

Uh, Delta Tau Delta is a fraternity. We are men. Ike Turner is not a member.

I hate to sound repetative, but Senusret pretty much summed it up. To his list, I would add "guy movies."

You could add a few qualifiers to his list:

• Don't make me have to get dressed up.

• Don't make me have to make small talk.

• Don't throw out the idea of food and then let it turn out to be something useless like finger sandwiches or something heinous like brownies made with saccharine instead of sugar and carob instead of chocolate -- yes, that happened to me once. I did not feel honored. :eek:

I guess I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "honored." To be honest, I think most guys don't particularly want to feel "honored." Appreciated, yes, but "honored" sounds a little embarrassing.

To follow on the example you gave, my wife gave me a bunch of passes/gift certificates for a local movie theater, with the condition that I could not use them to go to a movie with her or the kids. They were to be used only for going to movies with "the guys" or alone to see the bloody or sophomoric stuff.

i guess paying close attention to some of the things we consider "silly" can always lead to something they can appreciate.

my fiance loves three things: his occupation (chef), Audi's, and music. his last gift from me was a monogrammed chef jacket like Emeril wears on his show. it was super expensive, plus the cost of mongramming, but his face lit up like christmas morning. his past gifts have been stuff with Audi on it, and a few music festivals. if he mentions something, i make a mental note that he does/doesnt like it, and try to go from there.

Yeah, Idk about being honored, but in the past, i've shown guys that I appreciate them by making them go out with the boys or going with him to the movies to see things he wants to see.
I got one of my ex's who was a football fanatic, the ESPN Scene it (I had to look EVERYWHERE for it, it took me weeks to find it (around christmas time))

My step mom- for my dad's 50th bday is having a big party for him, but for his REAL gift, is taking him to sonoma wine country and renting him a harley to ride down the california coast, and he's going to ride by himself. When he was 18, he went from Kansas to california on the back of his motorcycle, so she thought it would be a nice throwback, I'm so excited for him!

My friends and I were having a similar conversation a few weeks ago.

Soooooo this guy (lol.....Infamous you know why I laughed) loves football (big Bama fan....I just found out yesterday) and he kinda turned it on a a couple of weekends ago while I was there. The only thing I know about football is what a down is? I will pay attention if I know he notices that I am drifting, but me and sports are almost like oil and water.

I got my ex a jersey signed by Jerome Bettis.

It cost the earth.

Mr Pi Phi is a huge Pink Floyd fan, so last year for his birthday I bought him an autographed record album. I found it on ebay, and pretty much watched the computer till the auction ended so I could make sure I won that I album.

Ladies,

We can all "buy" our gentlemen gifts they will at least "act" like they enjoy... But is it what they really want?

We can be the one's to TELL them what they ought to be doing or just let them be doing what they want to do...


Fellas,

If one day was YOUR day, and you wanted to spend it with your lady, how would you do it? What would you like to do? What would you like us to do?

At sometime, you will have to come up for air...

Is this too hard of a question to get a simple answer? Other than, nothing. Thanks. Is that really how gentlemen prefer it?

Actually, you kinda don't.

Once again, sports, sex, and food. Hotel room with ESPN and room service for a weekend. And sex. Heck, I don't even like girls and I could go for that right about now.

Can you do any of these in public? Publicly, how can one honor and appreciate a man or men?

That's the thing.... other than receiving an award based on merit of some sort, I don't think most men want or need to be appreciated publicly.

How come? Or more to the point, WHY? :confused:

Aren't they worth it?

It's just preference.... the more you question it, the more it seems like you think we're somehow wrong for feeling this way.

sistagreek, i really think they mean it when they say theyre simple like that.

in my limited scope of how men work (and men, being my 2 brothers, who are teenaged, my closest guy friends who are my age, ex bf's who were "generally" my age and older, and my female family members' SOs):

--doing something subtle and out of the blue they dont expect: one day i brought home a cherry pepsi for my brother - no big deal, but he was excited for the rest of the day. ok, he's 14, so what, it made his day!

--doing something that "them other broads" aren't doing: my mother was interested in this guy way back when, and he confided in her that he felt like women only used him for their personal benefit, and that all he attracted were golddiggin women that didnt care. so on his birthday, she sent him a bouquet of flowers to his house. his response: wow, that was different, all these other females either threw themselves at me or came to the house with a dime bag... sometimes you get tiref od the same stuff. well... 12 years later, he's my stepfather!

but actually, he says what REALLY made his feel "special" was when my mom made him a plate of hot wings and a pitcher of Kool-Aid for lunch. i mean he's grown and all, but go figure.

--doing something that's *gasp* not sexual: the past two dates i went on i wore jeans, sneakers, and pretty much covered up in a PG kinda way. partly cause i dont like heels and partly because i was tired of going out of my way (makeup, T&A, etc) for dudes. and the last dude i went on a date with was dressed up seriously - slacks, shoes, everything! it was so out of his element but he said that me not being "sexed up (his words) took the pressure off everything on his end.

now i dont know if any of this holds true for anyone else (maybe what i said was obvious - i AM a youngin after all) helps at all or is even valid to you sistagreek, but that's just my female two-cents.

Hell hath no fury...
 

You are free to feel the way you feel. I do not think you are wrong for feeling this way given your explanations. I greatly appreciate that myself.

But without any understanding or explanation, I am left to be confused. I am unable to do read facial expressions on GC, then all I have left is to request clarification.

Thank you for your remarks, they will be considered for an event I was attempting to plan considering GC men's ideas.

The one we use to have for the Undergraduate Chapter I use to be the graduate advisor for would have the "Tribute to the Black Man", which was a lovely event telling Black men that we love them, cherish them and hope the best for them. The gentlemen truly enjoyed it. We dressed up very nicely and provocatively, serving them a healthy dinner.

I was thinking I could upgrade it to include ALL men, and have a fully supportive event they, their friends and family would enjoy.

I am sorry for considering the better judgment of GC gentlemen and wasting your time.

Monet, why are you confused? You're not a dude which is why you asked the guys on here what they prefer.
The men made no bones about it-they're simple in their tastes and preferences. They're not chicks.
If I was a guy and you wanted to do me an event here is what I would say:
-I don't want to have to dress up
-I want to eat foods I enjoy, not food you think I should eat.
-I want to sit and enjoy the company of people I know AND like and get to talk about what I want

Maybe you could set up a videogames station, a screen projector playing good action movies (my recent favourites are the Bourne trilogy but I'll watch classics too), and a chef who cooks steaks to order. The sex part may have to wait until later. Oh, and some widescreen tvs with a variety of different sports showing.

Since all that sounds awesome to me I can now see why I get along with guys so well.

Maybe 2 out of 3 gentlemen that responded agreed does not make a qualified statistically significant sample size for me.

And what you are suggesting, sounds like a great idea, but I wish I could hear it from them. :(

And I was confused by their responses to my questions, because I did not understand them. So I requested clarification. However, they got frustrated.

Okay, men hate to be honored and appreciated and actually do like women to read their minds... I cannot believe that, but hey, I can be wrong. Fine. I am happy to be wrong in this one.

I don't think that it was a waist of time at all. You said that you held an event that was a "Tribute to the Black Man". The things that were done at that event could be extended to all men.

We men are fairly simple creatures. We don't get all riled up and excited about big extravagant things we will reallly appreciate the little things. Example: 9/10 when I go home to visit my parents my dad will have some random snack that he knows that I like. Makes my stay all the better. He does a similar thing for my sister.

But to try to answer your question, if you know the group of men then I suggest treating them to a spa session. This is rarely something a guy would do for himself but he would definitely go for it if it was a gift, or at least I would.

I don't think it's a waste of time at all. In fact, I'm impressed that you had the consideration to ask the question -- despite my poor attempt at humor earlier.

The problem is that, like when someone asks me what I want for Christmas, I simply am hard pressed to answer. I haven't really ever given it any thought.

In fact, the only answer I come up with is, "something thoughtful."

Please don't ask me to define that, though.

Food and sports can certainly be in public.

Exactly.

You understand us! That's exactly what I would have said. Oh wait a minute. I did say that. :D

I really don't think that's an accurate take on it, AKA Monet. (And I don't think it was a stupid question at all.) It's not that men "hate" to be honored, per se. It's that our idea of what makes us feel honored or appreciated is different those those lacking a Y chromosome. We don't want to feel like someone is making a fuss over us. We like to keep it simple.

And it's not so much a matter of reading our minds -- it's a matter of believing us when we don't give the answer you expect. An example -- for quite a few years running, as my birthday approached, my wife would ask how I wanted to celebrate. Almost every year, I said the same thing -- just a simple supper, at home or out, with her and the kids. She would press as though that answer wasn't "good enough" -- as though surely I was just trying not to make too much work for her and wasn't really saying what I wanted.

Sure enough, a few days later would tell me other people (family or friends) that she had invited to a birthday supper. Being a good husband, I'd just say "thanks," and I would enjoy supper enough, but I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't had to be "sociable." Now, after quite a few years of this, I think she's really starting to believe me when I say "just a simple supper with you and the kids."

LOL. I would be speechless if I was given a spa session. Speechless and horrified -- I can't think of a more miserable way to spend time. You're tight that this is rarely something a guy would do for himself. There's a reason for that. ;)

Seriously, if I used the gift certificate (I'd be very tempted to give it back to her, telling her that she would appreciate it much more than I would), I would spend the entire time I was at the spa thinking, "I thought she knew me better than this. How could she think I would like this?"

Hilarious.

Men love to feel appreciated, in general. Men, in general, are not enamored with this being a public spectacle.

Anecdote: I cook dinner for myself and my girlfriend probably 5 nights a week, and she cooks very infrequently. She loves to tell her friends and family that I cook all the time and that I'm good at it (I'm really not at all, I just like doing it - plus she cleans, which is huge). I hate it when she does that - it's really not a big deal, and I don't really care for her mom/sister/aunt/friends to fawn over it. It just doesn't matter.

I love it, though, when she says "thank you" after every meal I make - that's way more important.

I think the disconnect here is that we're using the same terms in completely different ways. If you want the black guys in your area to feel appreciated, do something small, or (like everyone else has posited) do something you wouldn't normally do that they would enjoy.

Have a poker game, or learn how to play Madden, or just spend a day doing "guy things" and say "we appreciate you, so we want to do the things you like for a day."

Unfortunately, there's no magic formula - and no plaque on the wall will make me feel honored or appreciated more than a simple, borderline meaningless action would. Dudes are about action - do, not say or celebrate.

^^^^
 

Thank you gentlemen... Keep those ideas coming. :D

I need to know "how come" you all would feel there would be this "fuss" over you? Don't you think you are worth the fuss?

Or

Is this the society and cultural (meaning American) thing that does not jive well with men? (Y'all knew I would ask that... :rolleyes: ) I.e. men must be the providers, women are the nurturers. Is it too much "role switching"... The ladies are setting up too many "playdates" for the men?

Like, if I got a Nintendo Wii or XBOX Halo3 game stations, for the lot of you-where you could play with or against each other, are you telling me y'all would not attend with a full chicken and beer dinner? Or 50 yardline ESPN pre-Sunday with Stuart Scott and Boomer stoppin' in to say "hello" in the pressbox with 2 HD 52" flat screens with all you can drink beverages, i.e. mojitos and full course nacho bar? Better yet, arranging that party bus/flight to Vegas at the Ghostbar in the Palms to either watch a fight or Superbowl Sunday and bet on the Caliente line?

Wait, do you all Ball like that? :cool:

And yes, I know reps from Nintendo AND Microsoft who would do that with Halo 3... And I can talk people into do this ESPN thing on the 50 yardline... And I would have to work it in Vegas, but, as it stands I got family members playing at the Tiger Woods thing at the Wynn...

I was just wondering if that would be something you fellas think you would want to do? Or if it is too much for you? ;) I will go put my ideas back...