Big Sister selection
 

Some sororities get big sisters on bid day, some don't get them for a few weeks. Why do some do it right away and why do some wait so long? Which is better?

Better is what works for that particular sorority. Which is why some do it right away and others wait. I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but that's the truth.

The 26 sororities are very much alike on many things, but also very different on others. Also, unless you were a member of more than one (which is a total no-no) it would be hard for any one person to say why some do it different and which is better.

It also depends on the individual chapter.
One argument is that it's better to wait and better match personalities. Personally, I think a week or two is plenty of time...the poor nm needs somebody she can go to with questions, and to encourage her. Especially with these huge nm classes, they tend to get lost...nobody notices when they don't show up regularly...I'm an advocate of big-sister-from-the-second-week, but I have heard of half the NM term finishing before a big sis is assigned.

One thing I really like about ASA is that on bid night you get a Ruby Sister who is your temporary Big, until you get your official Big. Best of both worlds.:D

Lots of sororities do this, a sort of "bid day big" until you get your big. In Sigma Kappa, we call them heart sisters. I've heard of DG's anchormates, ZTA's strawberry and white violet sisters, AOII's panda pals, Theta's kite sisters, Kappa's key sisters, etc. I like it because as a new member, it's nice to have someone to guide you right away, yet, if you meet someone else you fall in love with a few weeks into your new member period, you're not bound to the girl you met during recruitment.

We had heart sisters until one sister decided to change it and call them dove darlings which made me throw up in my mouth a little.

When I pledged back in 1996, I got a "Rose Buddy." She was my temporary Big Sis until I got my real big sis. She was just someone who sat with me at meals and I could call her if I had in questions. I personally think that a new member should find out who their big sis is about 2-3 weeks into the new member period.

Heart Sister, Dove Darlings...we called them Heart Sister back in my day, but the current chapter I advise calls them "Pearl Pals."

In my chapter when I was an active member we had a Pi Pal until we recieved our diamond sisters at our sisterhood retreat. Now the girls that are actives get there diamond sister on bid day I think b/c our International office thought that was a form of hazing. I liked not knowing who my big was until sisterhood retreat b/c it was a total suprise and we were giving clues along the way to trick us.

We had a big sister of the week every week until right before initiation - then we had a big sister reveal.

My chapter did something like this.. we had "Violets" until our Diamond Sister reveal... every week for about 2 (or was it 3?) weeks, we had a different "Violet" who would write us a sweet card about being in the sisterhood and we'd get a small gift.

It was awesome!

I think I had two Rose Buddies before getting my Big Sis....it doesn't really matter how you do it since you end up the same place. (i.e. with a mentor type sister who looks out for you.)

We used to have one Turtle Pal the entire plege period until you got your big sis, which was right before initiation. This year we're trying to get a new turtle pal every week so the girls will get to know more people and we can better match people. On Bid Day we gave each new member a Bid Day Buddy who brought a little gift and hung out with them at the party.

[quote=violetpretty;1518560]Lots of sororities do this, a sort of "bid day big" until you get your big. In Sigma Kappa, we call them heart sisters.

At our chapter we call them violet sisses.

We have the big sister revealed the night of pledging (a day or two after bid day). Since our campus and chapter is small, we are able to get to know the PNMs fairly well during recruitment and even more during bid day. I like that we assign them so early because every week from pledging to initiation the big/little pair does something together with a small group of other sisters that were not assigned littles.

One thing to make sure of -- one year our New Member Chair just assigned the littles/bigs the night of pledging without talking to the assigned bigs first. This was a disaster for one big/little pair, since the big really didn't like the little at all and hadn't even supported letting her into the chapter. This rift was a problem in the chapter for the next 3 years since eventually the big and little got into a big fight and the little felt betrayed -- like she was screwed out of a "real" big. Lesson: ALWAYS talk to the big before you assign them a little. You never know how someone might feel about it until you ask.

At my chapter, you got an Alpha sister on bid day, an Epsilon sister a week later, and a Phi sister (your big) a week after that. I'm pretty sure they still do it that way. The new member period is 6-8 weeks, so you have an "official big" for most of your NM period, but before that, you have two different "temporary bigs" who give you little gifts, take you out for coffee/ice cream, and basically make you feel welcome and make sure you meet sisters you might not have met during recruitment.

The assignment of big/little is a national policy for each sorority. Every 2 years, a sorority holds a convention of voting delegates to review policies, vote on amendments, etc. Collegiate chapters and alumnae associations send a delegate to the convention to represent them and vote on their interests.

It's hard to say which is better: to get your big sister on Bid Day or to wait a few weeks, because it depends on the sorority's intention in waiting or not waiting to assign them. It is also hard to say which is better because you can only be a member of one sorority and you only have your own experience to draw from.

My chapter waits until the week leading up to initiation to have big/little week and revealing. In the meantime though, the girls get a Bid Day Buddy, then a couple weeks later, a Sailboat Sis, and then a Violet Sis before big/little assignments are done via mutual selection. It could've been someone you've paired with previously, or someone you've gotten to know on your own. I liked that my Big was someone I was already very close to, but in the meantime had three different people to go to.

At my sorority we called the bigs that we got on bid day our kite sisters.

Kappa's Key Sisters are big sisters. They're not "Bid Day buddies" or temporary big sisters of any kind. I got my Key/big on the night of my pledging.

In my chapter, we still did reveals. We just did them sooner than any of the other chapters on my campus.

It was explained to me this way: Your best friend is going to be your best friend whether she's your big or not. Your big is just an extra resource, an extra connection. And really, from a survey of sorority women I know, Kappa and those groups who wait to assign bigs have the same proportion of people whose big is their best friend, people who are closer to their big grand-sis, people who are closer to someone completely outside their family, and people who (sad, but true) hate their big.

In any event, I lucked out and my Key Sister is my best friend.

OP-You sure pick rather odd threads to ask rather odd questions.
Trying to write a paper or something??