Image Problems.
 

Hypothetically speaking..

Say there was a chapter of a sorority who had 2 women who's image standards were extremely low. So low, that they are having a negative impact. These two women should never have been voted into the sorority, but they were anyway due to drama. What is the most efficient way to either improve this chapter's image, or remove the problem?

(and of course this is hypothetical.. ;))

Is it a physical image, moral, or behavioral issue?

(hypothetically speaking)

Is it a physical/genetic problem - like they cannot help the way they look or do they lack self confidence, esteem and it translates in their behavior?

Have they been sensitively confronted? And is it something they can learn to do? Or are they too "simple" to just not get it?

Some people are just clueless...

Keep in mind, this is based on the (little) information you've given us on the situation.
I would try to solve the problem first by having friends or bigs of the girls (who's willing) address the issues the chapter is having with their behavior. They could come up with goals or an action plan to improve. Then if these girls aren't making any positive progress they should be brought to the standards board.

I'm with AKA_Monet on this one.

If it's a physical/genetic issue, they can't really help that.

If it's a personal hygiene (i'm pretty sure I misspelled that) issue (won't shower, brush teeth, comb their hair) - that would likely need to be addressed.

If it's just a "you don't go tanning and get weekly mani-pedis like everyone else" issue, then I think that should be a personal choice of theirs.

Haha, don´t tell me that´s the way it goes in US sororities. What sort of women want to have such image? That´s so superficial.

Isn´t the most important thing the character of a person and her will to support the sorority?

One of the purposes of the sorority is to help you be the best person you can be. If you don't present yourself well, then you have a self respect issue - for whatever reasons - and your friends/sisters should be willing to help you.

Texas*Princess was being sarcastic. No, that is not the "way it goes in US sororities," at least not with reference to their core principles. If you visit www.npcwomen.org, you will see that what many of these US sororities are really about. There are also NPHC sororities (different from NPC), and other independent sororities throughout the US.

Honestly, what you probably don't want to hear, is that if these individuals don't WANT to change, you may just have to wait it out until they graduate. Not knowing what exactly the problem is, it is hard to say whether the sorority is in a position to address the problem.

Is it a weight problem? If so, I think sororities should back off because that is a sensitive issue and trying to address it may cause that person serious psychological damage. Is it worth giving an individual a complex (or aggravating one that already exists) in order to not have the "fat girl" in your group? (by the way, the answer here is NO!) Maybe instead offer to go shopping with her -- nicely... as if you were inviting any other friend to go shopping-- and very casually give her things to try on that might flatter her body shape more. When she tries on things that look nice, make a big deal out of how great she looks.

Is it a psychological issue? Suggest counseling -- casually and sensitively. If there is someone in the group that has received counseling for whatever reason or went through anything similar, have that person suggest it in a way that doesn't seem like a demand. For instance, "When I was having issues dealing with stress, the best thing that I ever did was talk to a counselor. It's really helpful to talk to someone that isn't involved in your life because they can offer a fresh perspective."

Is it a personality issue? If someone is just annoying or whatever, that's not something you can usually change. Maybe make sure that at least during recruitment she is put in a position that minimizes her exposure to the PNMs, but other than that, just try to find positive things about her and focus on those until she graduates. This is kind of a life lesson, since for the rest of your life you will have to be around people you don't like or find annoying... might as well learn how now!

Please post back and give better clues as to what the image issue is... I think you'll find you'll get better responses that way.

right on

I guess sarcasm doesn't exist in Germany

Not to be mean to her, but a lot of times, sarcasm really does get "lost in translation." I know that when I translate from French to English it is sometimes difficult to understand the true meaning of what is being said; the subtle nuances don't go through, and you can't "read between the lines." I'm just trying to figure out if she is here to really learn information about American sororities, or if she is here to proliferate stereotypes... Sorry for the hijack!

It's tough to recommend much without more details, but it may be the best way to tackle the issue is to have a meeting/workshop on the issue for the whole chapter. That way, the two who are the problem don't feel singled out. If their problem is one of education, then the workshop should help. If not, well, then you may have to tackle it with the two individuals. Again, without details we are all kinda taking stabs in the dark.

Are you sure the negative impact is because of the image problem, and not because of the perception that the women were extended bids only because of drama?

Do the women you're referring to (hypothetically) know that their sisters think "they should never have been voted into the sorority"? If so, I'd suspect the negativity might be stemming from that instead of their "low image standards" (whatever that means).

At least, I know if my sisters said, "We should never have voted in Sydney; damn drama, anyway!" I'd probably have had a pretty negative impact on my sorority. :(

I think you should approach with an all-chapter workshop or series of workshops that discuss self-respect, serving as a PR ambassador for the chapter, nutrition and fitness, and celebrating diversity. After these workshops, adopt these ideas into your chapter bylaws so they can be enforced.

I PM'd you with some ideas.

Yep, I probably would have, too. Unfortunately, I've known of cases where this happened. Those individuals either ended up leaving their GLO, or causing problems within the house so much that they were asked to leave. No one should ever KNOW about "drama" regarding whether or not they should have gotten into the house. That is part of MS, and should stay there.

That's actually a really good idea :)

Thanks, T*P! I really think that you can't impose a specific standard that the entire membership has not been educated about. Otherwise, there is just no way for the members to police their own conduct. But if you've been given fair warning about something specific, you can reasonably expect there will be consequences if you fail to uphold those standards.

I think the problem is that a lot of policies can be very vague. The alcohol policy is clear, but the responsibility to behave in a manner befitting the chapter can be a bit fuzzy... and where do you draw the line?

So for these hypothetical members who are not "representing the sorority's image" well... in what ways have the chapter been educated on what image means? The tricky thing about chapter image is that it is a topic that needs to be addressed with tact and sensitivity. And once a policy has been adopted, members need to be educated about it every year and know it exists.

And I'm not talking about a policy req'ing everyone to wear J. Crew and get haircuts at the Aveda Salon; rather-- a policy that req's making sure that your appearance and conduct are tidy and respectful of yourself and others... and some reasonable specifics like no ripped denim with letter apparel/no tube tops at chapter meeting, etc.

You can't arbitrarily single out a group of members and enforce a standard on them that the entire chapter is not explicitly expected to follow-- you could call honestly call that singling out "hazing" if you wanted to look at the purest definition of the word...

Thanks for the responses everyone, I think.

I guess I wasn't that clear in the original post, as I didn't want to get to detailed. Especially now that I found out a fellow chapter member is on this board. (:-P to you!)

I'm not trying to be superficial in the slightest. I'm not the skinniest person in the world nor do I dress in the newest designer labels. These are girls who flat out never care how they present themselves, or at least don't seem to. Neither of them have a weight issue or other physical problem that I know of. Even our leadership consultant pointed out that these are "oops" members and they may affect our chances of strong recruitment. These women now are voting against PNMs that are "too good for us" in their terms, as if they are intimidated by anyone who cares how they look.

I love the ideas that were PM'ed to me, and think that they would absolutly benefit everyone, not just the women in question.

Am I the only one who thinks the leadership consultant is way out of line by saying this? Even if she thinks this is the case, she shouldn't share that belief with the chapter. Eventually, word will get around to these two ladies that their chapter (and even someone who isn't part of the chapter) thinks they were mistakes. And that can't ever be good.

I'm sorry your chapter is having to deal with this ST2008. It's never fun to have to deal with problem members. I guess I'm just stumped because sisters usually don't admit that women were voted on simply because of drama. When problem members become an issue (which happens in most chapters at one time or another, I'd suspect), it is rarely addressed publicly as something the chapter saw as a possibility if said members were extended bids.

Good luck dealing with this. I hope the suggestions you've gotten are helpful.

No. I'll go beyond that and say that someone who says something like that has no place being a leadership consultant. I don't know, none of these cute little quotes seem to really go with that... http://www.sigmasigmasigma.org/files/s_Who_at_NHQ.pdf

I just love when people present "hypothetical" situations when they've posted their chapter for all to see. I agree with whoever said that if I heard "well, we only gave 33girl a bid because we knew it would piss AlphaFrog off - we really don't like her" I wouldn't be likely to do anything that anyone suggested in terms of my appearance. Especially since I know they could care less about ME and MY happiness I might gain if I lose weight or whatever - all they care about is their sorority's image.

You're a young chapter. Consider this as a lesson learned when you're pressured in the future to pledge women to get your numbers up (only to have an LC come back 6 months later and say "what were you THINKING??") or when there's someone whose name coming up in membership selection divides the chapter. A chapter that colonized at my school took anyone to get the numbers to get that charter - they lost a lot of the movers and shakers that got the chapter started because of it and never really recovered.

You say that they're voting against women they think are "too good" - I won't ask about your (guess they're not very secret) MS practices, but it's their right to vote however they like. They're TWO people. Did their votes prevent anyone from getting a bid? If your chapter's that small, I think you have worse things than these two girls to worry about....

Sounds like an "oops" leadership consultant to me... Since it is not a physical problem (as the OP has indicated now), I'm guessing we're talking about clothing and grooming? One thing my chapter had to start doing (and never did when or before I was an active) is have wardrobe checks during work week for things the girls wanted to wear during recruitment. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous (at least it did to me, it being a small chapter) but that is certainly something you can do in order to make sure a single member isn't embarrassing the chapter and it doesn't isolate anyone. As far as during the school year, I really like the idea that a poster had about having a chapter workshop, but other than that I think you just have to wait it out, so to speak.

The OP stated that these bad-image members vote against PNMs that look well-groomed. Maybe the best way is to address these comments up front when they happen. Example:

Member 1: "I don't know about Mary, she just seems to be one of those girls who only cares about clothes and has a big ego. I don't think she'd fit well with the chapter"

Member 2: "Why do you assume that about Mary? Did she say something to you that made you think that? If you're assuming that simply because of the way she looks then I think we're running the risk of making predetermined judgments based on looks and I certainly wouldn't want someone to do that to me. Unless you have a reason not to like her, let's give her a chance just like we'd want her to give any of us a chance."