Huge problem with transfering into a new chapter...HELP!!
 

OK, i am extremly fusterated! I was just initiated last april into ABC sorority. Since then I have transfered to a new school that has the same sorority that I am in. I contacted my president at the beginning of the summer to let her know that I wasnt coming back and that I would want to transfer into the chapter of ABC at my new school. She said that I would have to fill out some papers and then those would be sent to HQ and then sent over to my new school's president.
I did all the paper work a month before school I left for school. I simply e-mailed my prez the forms and told her to contact me when she had sent them over to HQ. never heard a response. So then i contacted the prez at my new school telling her that i was a transfering and would want to be part of their chapter. She was like "ok...you will have to go through an "informal" rush to get to know the girls to see if you fit in, etc" but she said that she couldnt do anything and i wouldnt be allowed to meet the girls until she had gotten the papers. I e-mailed HQ and asked if they have recieved my papers. They said "no" and according to them I was not in their system as being a full "ABC sorority member" because none of the paper work or badge forms had been sent in for my pledge class. that made me even more fusterated! the lady said that she would call my prez and let her know that she still needed to send those forms in plus my transfer form. A week later, i heard nothing.

anywho..my mom called HQ complaing that nothing had been done, and she didnt know why my paper work hadnt been sent in. This was about a week ago(I am now at school) So the lady decided that she would fill the paperwork out her self, and send it over to my new school. a couple days ago, my mom called them back and asked if they had sent it, and they said "yes" I then contacted the prez here letting her know that my paperwork should finally be here, and that I didnt know what to do next. Havent heard anything back. I then e-mailed greek life at this new school, and they said that they would contact her. I havent heard ANYTHING. I called the house, no one picked up, I e-mailed the prez again, no answer.

I am now sooo fusterated, and I feel like this isnt fair to me. rush is starting this weekend, and if I am not even in the system for ABC sorority then i see no reasoning but to just go through rush again. I am now just afraid that some of the girls will remember my name, because I had added a few girls on facebook letting them know that i was from ABC and transfering into their chapter. Do you think they have forgotten about me? Do you think if I rushed again they would know who I am? I mean greek life is big at this school, and i doubt they would even know who i am out of all the girls that wanna rush right? i could block them from viewing my facebook... I mean like this is soo ridiculous(sp?) that no one has gotten back to me. Its extremely unfair and so irresponsible on my old chapters part for not even sending in my badge order form that i spent over $100 on.

I just dont know what to do...
any advice...PLEASSEE!!

Assuming your referring to a NPC sorority--you can't rush again and pledge another NPC sorority if you have already been initiated into an NPC sorority.

i know you can't. thats why im so stuck right now. because i was given the option from HQ to do that, because my mom and I are extremely pissed off. If im being given the chance, hell yes i am going to do it again. thats why I was asking if someone that ive befriended on facebook would blab. I havent even met any of them or talked to them, havent met the prez. because think about it, why waste my time paying dues to a sorority that I am not technically part of right now? If no one is contacting me, or letting me know anything, and all my paperwork is screwed up..whats the point.?

First of all take a deep breath. I'm sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately, it's just one of those things that's a fact of life. I was initiated at the end of April, and I still don't have my membership certificate or member number because my paperwork wasn't sent in on time so I can totally sympathize with you on that one. It sucks, but these things take time. While you may not be in ABC's national membership database, you have witnessed their initiation ritual. This makes you ineligible to join another national sorority. If there are local sororities at your new school, you can join one. You can attempt togo through recruitment again, but chances are that 1) someone will remember you, or 2) it's a small world and is being made smaller thanks to facebook and chances are that someone from your new school will have friends in greek life at your old school and word will get around and it will come back to bite you in the rear. I know you did not ask for opinions on this next part, but I feel like I have to say this. You are at least 18 years old- why is your mother calling your sorority and the chapter at your new school to set things up for you? This is something that you should really be doing on your own. It may sound harsh, but keep in mind that the new chapter wants to get to know you first before they let you affiliate with them, and so far the only impression they've really gotten from you is from your angry/frustrated mother, which isn't exactly helping your case.

I'd be fusterated too. :(

I hope everything works out for you!

well i mean like..yeah i know things take time. but just like i dont even talk to half the people at my old school. i was only there for a year. only in it for 2 months and i dont talk to half the girls because they never talk to me. my prez has never even heard of the school i am right now let alone know that the even had my sorority. I called them first to ask what to do, b/c i mean i had no other choice, my president wasnting calling me back, nor was the prez here, i didnt know what to do..so i called them to ask them what to do. i then heard nothing back, so i had my mother do it, because classes had started. I mean i really dont have to justify myself. yeah, its life....things happen, but i didnt just spend 300$ on something that I cant continue...i've witnessed ritual, but i have no business telling others, nor do i care for it. finally when i did get in contact with my prez, i told her that this was unfair and i was going to join another one, because she was being so irresponsible, that she wasnt doing her job(didnt really say that, just thought it). because seriously she wasn't.i basically knew i gave her a month do it..i filled out the form myself..sent it to her through e-mail...it takes 2 seconds to re-send it to my new school.

i mean i dont really wanna leave this sorority...its exciting being part of something, but if nothing is happening, i have to do whats best for me..ya know?
i just dont know what to do...

Is your chapter advisor aware of this? Also does your sorority have a district/provice/leader director? Email the whole story to them (omitting the part about wanting to rush again) and let them know that you want to know where you stand and if you can transfer in. They will follow up with the chapter president who will then have no choice but to get your paperwork submitted pronto.

its supposed to be here already, because the lady at HQ did it for me, because obviously my prez wasnt getting back to me. so i e-mailed the greek life people here(im pretty sure those are the advisors right?) and she said she would get back to me, havent heard anything. rush starts fri. and the interest meetins are tomorrow.

Who looks at all the sorority recuirtment sign ups? just the exec board?

I would contact the chapter advisor of the ABC chapter, not the greek advisor at your school. If you decide to go through recruitment and have to fill out a recruitment application, you may be asked to sign a waiver stating that you have not been initiated into an NPC sorority. If any of the ABC girls remember you, then it will surface that you are member of a sorority, which will disqualify you from recruitment and will ruin your chances of ever affiliating with the chapter at your new school. Just something for you to think about so you can weigh the consequences.

1. You cannot join another sorority.
2. Is there really a reason your mom is involved? You're a big girl.
3. Paperwork takes a long time to get processed. Your HQ has to process the initiation paperwork on every single girl that went through the new member process last year. Be patient. Technically you are a member of this sorority whether they have gotten around to sending you your pin or not.
4. If your president is not being responsive contact the chapter advisor. If they are not responsive, try the regional director.
5. The "Greek LIfe people" are not the advisors. They are merely the people who work at the desk in the Greek Life office. The chapter advisors are the alumnae volunteers that advise your individual chapter.

yeah..ive thought about that..trust me..haha! but tahnks for helpin out.
just wish that you are never in this position!

Ohhhh gotcha..how do you figure out which one ur advisor is tho? because i talked to the transfer lady at my HQ.

i mean like should i introduce myself tomorrow to the girls? or just wait it out? because if HQ is giving me the option to re-rush..then im going to.

HQ will not give you the option to rerush.

...they told me that on the phone...there are exceptions to everything..

They told you that you can't rerush or that you're the exception and can?

just like since everyone had been really irresponsible, and no one was getting back, and the fact that none of my paperwork was sent in and that i never got my badge, and that if i dont hear back, and then i can go ahead and re-rush. the lady on the phone was like "uh huh..we understand..we understand..im sorry this is happening" she sounded a little afraid..haha

im just afraid..with girls being girls..ill get screwed over. but it just sucks, because i love being in a sorority. being part of something like that..i just really enjoy it. and to not be able to do it, really saddens me. people will say "well then y did you leave your school..or why didnt u depledge..thats the responsible thing to do" A) i HAD to leave my school..hated it..they didnt have my major, thought rushing would make it better, it didnt" B) i would of depledged seriously thought about it, but i heard about so many people transfering and switching into other chapters, etc..that i thought it wouldnt be such a difficult deal.

What are you looking for here? Is it permission to rerush? Fine then, go ahead and rush again. But who's to say the same thing won't happen to you again? What if you pledge another sorority and then they don't send in the paperwork for you to headquarters?

no, i was just asking for advice. not permission. just someone to talk and help me out...see if ne1 has ever been in the same position before, but i guess not...

I think they are giving you advice. The chapter of your sorority at your current school knows who you are. They know you are claiming to be an XYZ. If you rerush, they will surely think a) you are a psycho liar trying to sneak into their sorority or b) you have no loyalty all because of a paperwork snafu. Neither option is pretty. There is also the very real possibility that they will share this information with HQ and the other chapters on campus. It would probably not be in your best interest to go through recruitment. I know it's not what you obviously want to here. My advice would be to call HQ and ask for the chapter advisor for your initiating chapter. Contact this woman and explain your situation as calmly as possible. You'll get a lot farther if you sound rational and understanding about the paperwork mistakes. Just impress on her that you'd really like to get involved with the chapter at your new school. Then.....give her some time to help you. Just because you have a timeline does not mean that it matches hers. Tell your Mom that you are handling the situation. She's probably upset because you are upset. Take a deep breath...things will work out!

If you would be willing to just up and re-rush a different sorority, you might have missed the whole point of being in a sisterhood. Does it really mean nothing to you? If so, why do you care so much about affiliating? You make it sound like since you are having trouble, you'll just quit and find a better group.

Grow up.

Very few things in life are without complications. And, when you go and transfer to a different school, you are adding complications TO YOURSELF. Harsh, but true. Expect some paperwork mishaps, etc.

BTW, what will happen if you don't mesh with your affiliating chapter and they say no? Sounds like you will just quit anyway.

yeah, no im just going to stay....yah ur right i would feel too guilty to re-rush. i was just getting soo turned off by my chapter back home.

so im guessing people have seen girls who have not been affliated with the chapters at their new school, where their letter any? wouldnt they be made fun off, because they are not really a ABC at the school?

Can you please make more of an attempt at typing? I can barely decipher your posts.

translation
 

If you've been initiated, you are an ABC for life (unless you self-terminate or are terminated). You can wear your letters anywhere you want. Just explain "I was initiated at Moose Head College, but when I transferred here to Deer Butt University, the chapter was a lot different. I chose not to affiliate with them, but I'm still an alumnae member of ABC."

Giggle: If your sorority is an NPC sorority I don't care what they told you on the phone, the rule about not being initiated into another NPC sorority is a big one. Usually they don't even let you join a different NPC group if you transfer to a school that doesn't have your sorority at it.

Honestly, it sounds like you should just chill out until after rush is over. The current chapter is busy trying to prepare for that and if they are a big chapter, they may be purposely delaying your affiliation process so that they don't have you counting against them for chapter total. I know my NPC allows for transfer students to affiliate with the on-campus chapter even if the sorority is above chapter total.

Give your sorority at your campus a couple days after bid day to get some rest, and then try to become part of the group. They have other things on their mind right now and if you push them, they may question whether you have the best interest of THEIR chapter in your mind.

If you rerush, you WILL be found out. Every chapter gets a list of who is going through. ABC at your new school WILL find you (especially since you've talked to their president) and they WILL tell the advisor to the Panhellenic Association. Not only will you get kicked out of recruitment (not cut from all chapters, kicked out), you will stand no chance of reaffiliating with ABC. I sure as hell would not vote to accept a sister into my chapter who tried to rerush, especially one who KNEW she wasn't supposed to.

There are no exceptions to the National Panhellenic Conference policy that says that initiated members of one NPC are ineligible to join another NPC. Not even if your new school doesn't have ABC. Not even if ABC isn't a good fit for you at New U. Not even if you've deactivated your ABC membership. Not even if your membership has not been officially processed. You've witnessed initiation. You are an initiated member.

I'm not so sure why you are being so impatient. New U will have recruitment this week, but they'll still be able to accept you as a member regardless of their numbers. You're not competing for a spot in the chapter with the PNMs going through recruitment. Is that your concern?

So Sigma Kappa could tell me that I am not allowed to transfer to Towson if I want to change my major to HR Management? I don't think so. My sorority activities would just be limited to that of the Baltimore Alumnae chapter. No rerushing.
Yes! That's probably true about delaying your affiliation. And solid advice about why waiting until after bid day is a good idea.

violetpretty... I'm editing my post because I think i said "school" when I meant to say "chapter" ... we are making the same points to giggle, i think.

I think you read it wrong. I think she was trying to say that they usually don't let you re-rush if your sorority is not at the school you transfer to.

Still blatantly wrong as you can NEVER re-rush once initiated, no matter the circumstances, but it makes more sense than not being able to transfer to a school that doesn't have your sorority.

How am I blatantly wrong? I'm saying the exact same thing you are, that you can't ever be initiated into another NPC sorority after you've been initiated into another.

Can't ever =/= ususally.

Okay, I think if you read the sentence before that it will make sense as a whole. I am trying to say that even in situations where sorority ABC isn't even at your new campus (a worse situation than even Giggle is in) you cannot join another group.

Also, forgive me for not knowing this, but what is =/= short for?

Does not equal. Is not the same as.

Good because everyone else is right. Once you were found out, you'd get kicked out of your "old" sorority and kicked out of your "new" sorority.

No.

When you are initiated into a sorority, you can wear the sorority's letters. Period. You are a member (unless you attempt to rerush and get kicked out). It's not like individual chapters have jurisdiction over whether or not women from other chapters can wear letters within ten miles of that school.

That said, it WOULD look pretty desperate if you transferred from a non-competitive Greek System to a so-called "top tier" or "popular" chapter just for the status and wore your letters around before affiliation in hopes of being seen as a member of the "popular" chapter. I'm assuming that's not what you did.

BTW, how are you even sure that you're going to LIKE this new chapter better than the chapter at your old school? Have you even met the women yet? You sound pretty confident that this is going to be a good match. I'm not saying it won't, but chapters can differ drastically even between in-state schools. The AXO chapter 75 miles down the freeway from my school was nothing like my chapter.

Maybe you should wait and see if you even fit in with this new chapter before you get on the phone with your mom and "scare" people at HQ.


ETA: And please take that to heart. Don't piss off HQ. You may need their help later on, especially if the chapter at your new school denies your affiliation request. The new chapter and HQ hold the cards in this situation, not you.

ETA Part II: I want to AGAIN stress (because your general tone leads me to believe you're having trouble checking your attitude because you're so frustrated) that you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

My chapter advisor had eyes and ears all over HQ and at chapters around the state. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on. I'm just saying, if we had a girl attempt to affiliate with us and she was being a pain in the ass or rude to HQ/members of her old chapter, it would very much hurt her standing in our mind. All HQ owes you is your badge, if you paid for it, and a membership certificate. Anything else beyond that is extra help. It's unfortunate, but the "Catering to Frustrated Affilliation Candidates" department at your HQs is probably horribly understaffed.

Well, I guess since I haven't personally read every NPC organizations rules I feel a little wary of saying "can't ever" and figured the point was as clearly made by the word "usually" but maybe it would be more accurate to say I have never heard of a situation where someone was allowed to be initiated into two NPC groups for any reason.

I'm sorry to anyone who read my post and somehow discerned that I thought that being initiated into two NPC groups was ever okay. I've certainly never felt at odds with someone I completely agreed with more and if my reluctance to use uniquivocal language caused any confusion -- I am so sorry.

It's not Sigma Kappa's decision. It's not Zeta Tau Alpha's decision. It's not Alpha Chi Omega's decision. It is the National Panhellenic Conference's unanimous agreement.

No prob. We just wanted to clarify so that others wouldn't read that post and think, "Well, skylark said 'usually' so maybe I can be an exception and rerush".

:eek:

ROFL!!! :D:D:DSend me applications forms!!!

If you read the sticky that's called "Duel Memberships", and some of the old threads, you'll see why we're such sticklers for using definitive language. It seems like every time someone starts a thread about "I'm not happy, can I re-rush" or "I joined an NPC, but I really should have joined an NPHC, can I still do that" someone will chime in with a "but I know someone who did" or a perceived loophole, even though it is 100% against the rules of both Conferences. You don't want to give people even an inch when it comes to that. That's all.

Well, I know there are at least some NPC "unanimous agreements" that are, in fact, not unanimous (despite the label). An example is the agreement that some of the orgs have passed on social events with non-dry fraternity houses. Some NPC orgs subscribe to certain parts of the agreement, some NPC orgs subscribe to it in its entirety. Some NPC orgs subscribe to it in its entirety, but then allow for exceptions if you apply first to your HQ and ask for one.

Maybe I should just leave contributions to these forums to others that obviously know more than I do in these areas. I was under the impression that as someone who was on the chapter-side of an affiliation issue while I was an active that maybe I could contribute to the conversation since the OP herself seemed pretty lost. I thought that knowing more than at least she did was enough reason to contribute, but next time I'll just wait for someone more experienced to put their two cents in.

It's pretty basic info that once you are initiated into one NPC sorority you can never join another one, no exceptions. I think we learned that in our first week of new member ed when I pledged.


OP, if you are over the age of 18 your mother has no business making any calls like this on your behalf. That certainly couldn't have made a good impression.

Each group passed its own policy. About 3 said you can only mix with dry fraternities, 19-20 said the event itself has to be dry but the fraternity itself doesn't have to have dry housing or any sort of alcohol free policy, and 3 just passed the "support" policy which is basically saying alcohol free is nice but we can still drink at mixers. These may have changed since their initial adoption.

The only unanimous part was that the groups would "support" dry fraternities (i.e. they wouldn't stop mixing with them just because they were alcohol free) but that was it. And even that was a resolution, not a unanimous agreement.

I'm sorry if you felt jumped on, but as AF said, some people in this situation given an inch will take a mile. "OMG skylark said usually....that means if you're special like me you can rerush another sorority!!" It's not against you, it's to prevent the wrong impression.