Pan-Hellenic Council Regrets To Inform You...
 

I was reading a LIFE magazine article from 1945 about sorority rush at the University of Colorado. The article, in describing Bid Day activities, noted that young women who didn't receive any bids found a card in their envelopes that began "Pan-Hellenic Council regrets to inform you..." . The article said that women receiving such cards never finished reading them and barely had the energy to walk away from the room in which the bids were distributed.

I have read in various threads that Rho Chis/Rho Gamma personally inform the young women that they have been released from the rush process. I am curious if any college/sorority/Pan-Hellenic Council still gives the bad news via cards. I am also curious when colleges/sororities/Pan-Hellenic Councils decided to stop using the cards and letting the Rho Chis/Rho Gammas be the bearer of bad news, hopefully softening the blow.

BTW, in Edward Cohen's memoir about growing up Jewish in Mississippi, he describes a similar scene concerning Bid Day at the University of Miami. He said that rushees who didn't receive bids to any fraternity had a note in their envelopes suggesting that they join the Pep Club, the Student UN, etc.

In the NPHC, the indiviual org is the bearer of such news. In Delta we do it by letter and include the reason(s).

But the blow may not be as hard it is with NPC or IFC, bcause the way we are structured you can always try again. For example it took me two tries and it took my daughter two tries.

At Auburn in the seventies, we had rush counselors who informed the girls if they didn't get a bid so it's been around at least that long.

Pan-Hellenic = NPHC
PanHellenic = NPC

That was the first thing I noticed, too, but back in the 1940's, I doubt that they were savvy enough to make a distinction. It's hard for the anti-greek media to keep them straight now!

I did notice that, but considering the context of the article I assumed it was referring to the NPC. Especialy considering the school.

They must be notified some way.

So what do some of you think would be the easiest let down?

I guess some new people are not up on Greek s--t like some seem to be!

I was sure you noticed.:) I agree the article is in re:NPC...but then the OP continued on using Pan-Hellenic, so I assumed she didn't realize it either.

It was PanHellenic Council. I didn't have the article in front of me. Sorry

At my school for IFC the duty falls to the guy sitting at the IFC desk on bid day. All the fraternities turn in their bid cards to IFC and the next day rushees go to the table to pick them up. If someone didn't get a bid at all the IFC guy just says "sorry" and invariably recommends that they "spend more time hanging out with the brothers".

Its sort of a crappy way to do it, I imagine it feels pretty horrible to go pick up your bids and find that there aren't any waiting for you.

Ten years ago when I was a Rho Chi we had the "Knock" period. For an hour, all PNMs had to sit quietly in their rooms hoping they did not get a knock. I had to knock on two of my PNMs doors. I cried far more than my PNMs did...I felt like they were such great women who deserved a chance. Having that personal one on one time with them is the only humane way to do it. A card in the mail with regrets is cruel. Luckily I was able to talk one of my PNMs into COB-ing my chapter a few weeks later. She became my Lil Sis. I think the Rho Chi's have an excellent opportunity to make relationships with their PNMs that will allow them to comfort them should the unthinkable happen.

It's interesting to note the shift in thinking about what to do.

I guess that in the "regret card" days, the thinking was that groups chose their members and if people ended up unmatched, they were capable to weathering this storm without assistance from Greek Life.

I agree that the event of bid opening will be happier if mis-matched members are told in advance, but at some point, I really think we're making/validating mis-matching as catastrophic when it's really not.

Those of us who experienced college life an a independents before we rushed as upperclassmen can testify that while Greek Life is enriching, it's really not (or shouldn't be) a centrally defining element of your life.

Intreresting. For some of our chapters you hoped for the knock. It meant you got the vote.

Really? You give specific reasons? Like, "Sorry, no membership for you, you have BO!"?

-rolling hysterically on the floor at the idea of putting this in a letter--

(only speaking for Sigma here) IIRC, we will send an interested member a letter if they are not selected for membership. If specific reasons are listed, i don't know. I would hope that if an interest made it as far as an interview, they wouldn't be the type that would receive such letter.

But we know stuff happens...

LOL-- no, more general.

Really? Until the interview all you have seen is what is on paper.

Our "knock" definitely had no good connotations. I remember sitting in my dorm room when I rushed listening to women down the hall wailing when their Rho Chi knocked on their doors. I think that having someone present to counsel the PNM after such a rejection does not send out the message the it's the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Rather...it just allows the PNM to have her ego stroked a little before sending her on her merry way. I don't think anyone in the process wants to be cruel.

I don't know. The more I think about this, the more I wonder. I think it does seem nicer to have someone personally tell the pnm, but on the other hand it does make it seem like it's a bigger deal.

I can remember as a kid trying out for teams and not making it. They would post a public list of who made the team, and you went and checked the list.

If you didn't make it, you felt bad and you could resolve to practice harder and try out again next year or look for another activity or sport to try.

Had they had counselors come to see us or insisted on delivering the news in person, I think it would have been more intense, more personal and seemed like a bigger deal.

Again, I think getting an envelope with a regret note instead of a bid as part of a public ceremony like many campuses have would be a terrible way to handle this issue.

I think the phone calls are fine and better than making someone come in and get the news, but we don't need think of PNMs as such fragile flowers.

Same here.

Deuce Deuce. :D

IFC is informal year round at my school so bearing the bad news to a rushee is the job of the chapter president and recruitment chair or pledge educator.

It totally sucks and it's a job I wouldn't want to have.

Nor would I, but it seems like a truly manly way to handle it.

I'm surprised by that. When it came to COB you just don't get a bid. There's no call to say "sorry, please try next time!"

Well usually we just hope people get the picture but sometimes they come to us and ask questions and then some Execs show up and sit them down in the study room and try to explain away the no bid thing in the nicest way possible.

We did something similar, only ours was a phone call. I feel so bad for any unsuspecting guy or parent who called during that time only to get a freaked out rushee yelling "GET OFF THE PHONE!!" (No call waiting back then.)

Yeah...we were on pins and needles! If the room across the hall from yours got a knock, it was hard not to jump off the bed startled. I almost think it's cruel to add to the suspense, but these women have to be informed in some way. Our recruitment was a week before the beginning of school with all PNMs living in one of the dorms for the week. You couldn't send a letter...it would never get to them.

I was a PX twice over, my Sophomore and Senior years. Sophomore, my PX partner handled the "no matches" because she was simply more tactful and better at delivering it. Senior year, I handled it because I had had more time being involved in the Panhel stuf, knew the rules, etc. We called girls who didn't match or didn't receive invites. If they wanted to, I would go and meet them.

Although, I will say that it was really frustrating that girls didn't list their REAL phone numbers!!! Room extension, cell phone, homing pigeon, SOMETHING! I'm trying to get in touch with you, and you are not meeting me half way, kids!

"You have BO and bad breath?"

That would be more SPECIFIC.

More GENERAL would be "You smell".

Which is infinitely better than "We hate your guts."

In this part of the country, fraternities schedule invitation-only dinners(usually, suit and tie) for those rushees who are under consideration for membership.

I would think that if a young man didn't receive an invitation to the dinner, he would figure out that no bid would be forthcoming

We tend to say, "Instead of pursuing membership at this time, might we suggest that you please invest more time in hygienic matters."

yeah, that's how we did it too.

I always felt bad for the guys who didn't get bids, but I feel bad for the guys sitting there, because they're not allowed to say anything other than "try again, hang out more" when really they should be like "dude, you aren't anything like those guys, next time rush ABC instead" which would be helpful for all concerned.

(at my first school) I COB'd and on Bid night, we waited for THE KNOCK. There were 3 of us in our 10-person suite who rushed. Two of us got THE KNOCK, and one of us didn't. I was the first, my neighbor was the second (she heard me scream), and we waited for the third for the girl two doors down. I felt so bad. :(

I beleive that those who were not chosen received a phone call after all of the bidees were notified and escorted from our rooms.

Is there ever a good way to say sorry?

Someones heart and or ego will be broken.

:D

Ok this almost makes me want to rush Delta just so that I can get a letter like that.

Very good point.


5 months on greekchat and I've finally figured out that you can quote several posters at once.

I think yours would say something like "Instead of pursuing membership in Delta, how about you focus on the GLO you're already a member of...traitor":p