Tale of 3 Daughters
 

My best friend (whose daughters, by the way, have all gone Greek) asks me every year to tell this story to at least a couple Mom’s of PNMs. She thinks it’s a great illustration of how we as Moms have dreams for our daughters that they don’t always share. So here goes the first chapter of “Tale of 3 Daughters”……

My Story

I grew up in Florida. The spring of my junior year I spent a couple weekends with my best friend visiting her older sister at the U of F. Her sister was in a sorority and we had a blast with her those weekends. I had only brothers and I realized this would be the perfect way to acquire the sisters I’d always wanted! So, since I knew that I wanted to be Greek and my parents made it clear that my college choices were limited to “in state”, I ended my junior year determined that I would attend the U of F and join a sorority.

Unfortunately, things took a different turn for me that summer. My Dad passed away unexpectedly leaving my Mom to raise 3 kids on her own. I passed the first few months of my senior year struggling with the loss of my wonderful father, trying to help my Mom cope with her loss and helping out with my younger brothers when Mom went back to work. I didn’t even think about college applications until a few weeks before Thanksgiving when I saw a sign up sheet for appointments with the college guidance counselor. When I mentioned this to my Mom that evening, she sighed and told me she had been meaning to talk to me. She had decided to accept a job a few states away and we would be moving in December. She went on to say that since I wouldn’t be eligible anymore for in state tuition in Florida, that I needed to figure out where I wanted to apply in our new state. Horrors!! Not only was I leaving the only home I’d ever known and all my friends, my dream of being a sorority girl at the U of F was gone as well. Blinking back tears, I only nodded and went to my room.

December came and we packed up and headed to our new home. After Christmas, I started the last semester of my senior year at a new school and with no idea where to apply to college. (For all of you younger GCers, remember that this was in the days when there was no SAT prep, kids attended schools they had never even visited and parents were not as involved as today!) I made an appointment with the guidance counselor to discuss my options and she gave me literature for each of the state universities and sent me home to contemplate my options. I fell in love with one university the moment I opened the brochure. Beautiful red brick sidewalks and buildings, towering oaks, excellent academics and a strong Greek system! What more could a girl want? I filled out the application and sent it on its way thinking that things may work out after all.

So the day finally came and the envelope was thick. I had been accepted! By this time, I had made some friends at my new school and many of them were receiving thick envelopes as well. I was glad that I wouldn’t be starting a new school for the second time that year not knowing a soul. That night, as my Mom and I eagerly read through the packet of information, we noticed that the tuition was a LOT more that we had thought. Maybe this was a total including housing and meals? But it wasn’t. After reading more carefully, I discovered that I wasn’t eligible for in state tuition. Apparently, you had to live in the state for a full year before you were. Were they kidding?? I understood why I wasn’t eligible in FL, I didn’t LIVE there anymore. But to not be eligible for the state I did live in, well I just didn’t get it. I looked at my Mom and knew right then that I wouldn’t be attending my dream university in this state either…. at least not for my freshman year. Okay I thought, new plan. I’ll reapply and transfer next year when I’ll be “in state”.

I can't wait for an update!!! I'm so glad that you have decided to share the story with us!! It must have been hard losing your father.

I, too, moved in high school during my junior year. The sad part about it is that by the time my new high school finally felt like home I was packing up and going to college.

I digress. continue on!

Super excited to read this one. Sounds great already! Can't wait for an update! :)

Okay... because you asked so nicely (and because I already wrote the whole thing and just had to cut and paste.....

My Story…. Part 2

I had also applied to and been accepted at the state university in the city where we lived. My only option was to start there in the fall and since I would be paying “out of state” tuition rates, live at home. Not exactly the college experience I had hoped for, but at least it would bring me one step closer to my goal of transferring. I arrived at orientation and after a tour, made my way to a row of tables set up by the organizations on campus. I eagerly scanned the row for GLOs, hoping to see some of the same ones that I knew had chapters at the other campus. What was this, no GLOs at all? How could this be? This was a university and ALL universities had a Greek system, didn’t they? Apparently not. I was crushed and MAD!! Here I was not only hundreds of miles from the U of F where I was supposed to be and not even at my second choice, but living at home and attending a school I wasn’t even excited about and THEY had the bad manners not to have a Greek system for me!!! It was just all too much. I ran to my car and sat there for quite a while crying and pounding on the steering wheel railing at the misfortune that I had endured in the last year.

Well, the fall semester starts and I attend classes, work part time and take care of my younger brothers when my Mom needs me to. I don’t love the university I attend, but I think “That’s okay because I’m only here for this year”. At Christmas, I fill out my second application to the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks”, stating that I am applying to the Business School and send it on its way. This time I get a letter back almost immediately and it is NOT thick. Guess what, you can only apply to the Business School as a junior transfer. No sophomores allowed!! I had no clue this was the case. So, what to do? Spend another year living at home and then reapply or change my intended major? I guessed another year of living at home wouldn’t kill me and this way I could have all the pre-reqs for Business School behind me and could save some money to help cover the additional cost of housing when I transfer. So I make my decision and all through my sophomore year, I keep thinking “Just one more year, just one more year”.

Heartbreaking!
 

Tell me more! Tell me more!

May we have some more please?:)

This thread is not meant to be "heartbreaking" as there is enough of THAT on GC this time of year. :(

This is just a "Tale" of my life as it was long ago and my experiences with my 3 daughters, all of whom are happy, healthy and having GREAT college experiences!

Now I need to go work on Daughter #3s laundry. I am moving her to school tomorrow and she has run off to the lake with her boyfriend.

I'll try and post more later.......

Ok - Everything is washing/drying and or folded/hung up. So here's the rest of my story before we move on to Daughter #1!

My Story…. Part 3

The next fall comes and I’m walking through a campus with red brick sidewalks, under the towering oaks, past old red brick buildings on the way to my first class at the Business School. Floating through campus would probably be a more appropriate description since I was officially on Cloud 9!! This was the University I loved from the first time I opened the glossy brochure years ago. This place was everything I had dreamed of and more. The only dream left to go was made up of Greek letters to (hopefully) be determined when rush started in a couple weeks.

A couple days before rush started there was a meeting for all the girls who wanted to sign up. I got there early since my last class had ended the hour before and I didn’t have time to go back to my apartment between. I was living off campus in an apartment for a couple reasons. One, a girl I had become friends with at the other university was also a junior transferring to the Business School and asked me if I wanted to live with her and another friend. Since she had already spent 2 years in a dorm she wanted more privacy. Two, the university couldn’t guarantee that I’d be matched with another junior and the thought of a freshman roommate was not appealing. I had a brother near that age at home and if the high school girls that came around our house were any indication of that age group…. No thanks! When the auditorium started filling up I soon realized they were all loud, giggly freshman! I’m sure there were sophomores and juniors as well but, as to be expected the attendees were overwhelmingly freshman. I thought, ”It’s okay, the sororities are made up of all 4 age groups not just freshman.” The meeting was brief and afterwards I signed up for rush with much excitement and more than a few nerves. Would I FINALLY have my chance at being Greek???

If you haven’t already figured it out, just when my story seems to take an up swing, there is a down swing in sight! My Mom called me the next day to tell me she’d lost her job. She had already paid my tuition for the fall and I was covering my living expenses, books etc. with the money I had saved and my part-time job, so it wasn’t an immediate crisis. But, she also said finding another job might take a while and I should try and get some extra hours at work in case I had to pay my own tuition next semester. She was devastated to be letting me down (her words not mine) and she had the additional pressure of knowing that my brother would graduate HS that year and be going to college the next fall. I hung up the phone and just sat there knowing that I wouldn’t be going through rush, wouldn’t be joining a sorority and worst of all would always live with thoughts of “what if”.

So, what happened? My Mom found a job and was able to pay for my tuition the next semester. My senior year, I paid all my tuition and expenses so she could to pay for my younger brother’s freshman year. I graduated from Business School and LOVED every minute I spent at the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks.” I met my wonderful husband while I was there. It’s now the year 2001 and I’m living in the town I moved to all those years ago and have 3 beautiful daughters, ages 13, 15 and 17.

Spring Break is upon us and Daughter #1 and I head out to tour colleges up and down the east coast........

Sadness! No GLO for you! That breaks my heart! I am truly sorry that you never experienced a GLO as a collegian. But, luckily, you have daughters you can vicariously live through and maybe even do alumnae initiation with one of their sororities? (Hopefully part of the story later on!) :)

Can't wait to read more!

IHPiPrez
I'm laughing at your SN as I assume it means "I Eta Pi" :p

I have been sitting here for 30 minutes trying to figure out what all that meant...

I knew it wouldn't take long for you clever GCers to figure out what my screen name means! You will find out how that name comes about at the end of my Tale!!!

Give me a minute and I'll post the next chapter. :)

Daughter #1s Story

Of course, she’s heard all about how much Dad and I loved our time at the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks.” She’s been to football games, Homecoming weekends and sports camps on the campus for as long as she can remember. But, Daughter #1 is Opinionated. So odd for a first child (yeah right)!! SHE will NOT be attending our alma mater. SHE wants to go to a smaller school farther north and preferably as far away from Mom and Dad as possible. Okay, no problem. We drive all week and tour small to medium schools far and wide. She likes a few, narrows her list and plans to apply in the fall. I nod and smile and say very little, as is wise for parents of teens, especially when they’re in their “I know it ALL” years.

Fall of her senior year comes and I hear little talk of college apps. In the way of today’s mothers, I poke and prod a little to make sure she knows about the deadlines etc. (BTW – How in the world did we ever research, apply and get admitted to college before the Internet?? No wonder I was so clueless… see previous posts for details!) I know from the almost daily updates from the College Guidance office at her school that they’d like all applications in to them by mid November for review. One night at dinner, I casually inquire as to the status of her apps. Giving me the “look” that we all know so well, Opinionated informs me that she sent her early decision application weeks ago to the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks’ and should hear pretty soon if she’s been admitted. WHAT??? After picking myself and extremely surprised Dad off the floor, we silently rejoice that she has seen the light.

I love that you've nicknamed her Opinionated...

Lol :p

As my Tale continues, you will find out that I have given all 3 daughters nicknames. Since they are all wonderful, complex girls with many characteristics, the nicknames are just ones I came up with that most accurately described their attitudes about GLOs and experiences with rush. :D

Daughter #1s Story….. Part 2

It’s June of 2002. Opinionated and I are at orientation. She was accepted early decision and whenever Dad teased her about her proclamations of not EVER attending the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks” she pretends not to hear him. She, of course, is thrilled to be a member of the incoming freshman class. Orientation is a two day event where the kids and parents rarely see each other. Each go off in different directions and attend sessions about University life.

On the second day, I’m walking across my beloved red brick sidewalks chatting with a good friend whose daughter will also be a freshman. And then it happens. Suddenly, I see a girl casually strolling across campus wearing a Greek letter tee!! Of course, at that point my own experiences come rushing (no pun intended) back and I KNOW that I have another chance to experience Greek life. Not first hand of course but, if Opinionated decided to rush, vicariously. (Yes, I hear all of you laughing at this point!!) Orientation ends and I bide my time, waiting for the perfect moment to “suggest” rush to Opinionated.

Oh yes, but it's got to be the suggested in way that makes her think it's her idea type of suggested, if it have correct read on her personality and stage of development. It's hard to pull off.

You probably were thinking that the H stood for "Him." ;)

More More
 

What a fun thread! I can't wait to read about Opinionated's opinions about Greek Life! :p

I love this story. I can't wait to hear (read) what "opinionated" decided to do about rush.

p.s. I LOVE her nickname. I'm the oldest and super opinionated. :D It's not a bad thing;)

I agree with you completely!! Knowing your own mind is GOOD thing!!

Daughter #1s Story….. Part 3

I let a couple weeks go by and wait for my moment. One day Opinionated and one of her best HS friends are lounging at our house discussing going to school. Her friend starts to extol the virtues of the Greek system at the school she will be attending and describing the rush process. Opinionated listens politely and even asks a few questions that seem to indicate interest! Once her friend heads home, I’m ready and waiting. “So Opinionated, I couldn’t help but over hear you and so and so discussing GLOs and rush. Sounds like something you might enjoy. Why don’t you go on the University web and check out the Greek Life site?” And then there was the look (and a slight eye roll), followed by “Mom, I’ve already been to the site, talked to some girls that are and aren’t in sororities at school and have decided it’s not for me.” I stammer and say “but you would meet great girls that would become lifelong sisters.” Opinionated laughs and as she flounces out of the room responds “I already have all the sisters I can stand.”

I was disappointed with her decision, but not at all surprised. Her name is not Opinionated in this thread for nothing!! Opinionated spent 4 wonderful years at school before graduating in May of 2006. She became very involved a multitude of campus activities. She will start her last year of Grad school at another university in a couple weeks but she is just like her Dad and me, her heart will always belong to the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks”. She did meet lifelong sisters some of whom wear tees with Greek letters on them.

Back to my tale. It’s Spring Break 2003 and Daughter #2 and I are leaving to tour her list of colleges up and down the east coast........

I stumbled across this thread this morning and am really enjoying it. :D

You could be writing this story about countless seniors, male & female. I thought my formerly wonderful, future Pike/son would drive me batty during his senior year. Between college applications/acceptances and general attitude, well let's just say things were just a little tense at home:cool:. By his first visit (and favorite meal) home from school, he was back to his old self again.

HAHAHA! My mom would have definately nicknamed me opinionated. I'm loving this thread!

So, Opinionated didn't join a GLO, but became friends with some of the sisters, right.

I stumbled across this as well. Love it, please keep it coming!!!:)
ZTA 72

Just saw it as well and thought it was about triplets rushing!

^^^^^^^^^^^
LOL. then we'd be all, RITY?




I am very much enjoying this thread. Keep going! :)

Come back, IHPiPrez. I can't wait to hear what happens!

Nope- No triplets they're all 2 years apart.

Sorry for the delay in posting, it was a CRAZY day!!!

Daughter #2s Story

Of course, she’d heard all the same stories as her older sister and been to all the same football games, sports camps etc. while growing up. She also had spent some weekends with Opinionated on campus in her dorm room, so she had a better idea of what college life was like. We tour small, medium and large universities during that week and Daughter #2 comes up with a short list of favorites. Yes, we did the official tour at the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks” and she definitely wanted to apply there in the fall. The University did away with early decision after the year Opinionated applied, so she will apply other places as well. There is no clear favorite at this point.

Now a word about Daughter #2. She tends to be, well, a little bit…..Unpredictable. She is the middle child after all!! She is as bright, beautiful and accomplished as her sisters, but with this one you just never know what’s going to happen. When you KNOW she’s going to do one thing, she will do the opposite and then just to keep you on your toes, sometimes she does exactly what you expect! At the end of a month of “I’m not sure yet”, it comes down to the LAST day to decide where to attend college in the fall. Unpredictable waits until dinner that evening and announces that she has decided to attend….. the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks”. Her Dad and I both knew that she loved the campus and that it was the right place for her, but being the Unpredictable daughter that she is, she had to keep us guessing until the end.

This time I didn’t even have to see a Greek letter tee to begin to think about Unpredictable going through rush and making us a Greek family after all!

More more
 

Thanks for posting again. I can't wait to hear more about Unpredictable!!

^^^ Ditto! :D You remind me so much of my mom. (In a good way ;))

Oooooooh, I'm hooked! Can't wait for an update!

Daughter #2s Story….. Part 2

Fast forward to August 2004. Dad and I are helping Unpredictable move into her dorm room on what had to be the hottest day so far that summer. She is thrilled with her dorm, her classes and every other thing having to do with being at college. I am thrilled for her and for ME. Without any prompting from Mom (ok maybe a teeny bit) Unpredictable has signed up for rush!! She would be starting rush in a couple weeks. She is excited about the prospects and looking forward to the experience. I had spent the summer securing recs for all the chapters on campus thanks to the kindness of friends from church, volunteer organizations and even a few friends that were in GLOs at my alma mater. She didn't have any preconceived notions about any of the sororities on campus and was going into rush with an open mind. So with tears in our eyes, Dad and I drive away, leaving Unpredictable to her first few days at college.

Next thing I know, Rush has begun. Unpredictable enjoys visiting the houses during the first round and is surprised to see girls she know from HS and various sports she played. She has a hard time picking any favorites after round one (everyone was so nice!) but eventually cuts her list down to the necessary number. The next day invites come back and Unpredictable has been invited back to the maximum number of houses. I am thrilled! The next round is Skits. Unpredictable has a great time, but there is still no clear favorite. Next round is Philanthropy and House Tours and Unpredictable is especially impressed with the one of the projects a chapter supports. She was involved with a similar project in HS and loved the experience. This house quickly becomes her favorite, but she thinks there are 2 more where she could see being happy. Invitations to pref night come out the next day. I am on pins and needles waiting for her call. I know that if she gets her list and her top choices are on it, she may end up the member of a GLO. The next day, when the call comes, I am ecstatic because 2 of the 3 are there! Now all she has to do is attend the pref parties and rank the houses one last time. Unless, something goes VERY wrong, Unpredictable will pledge a sorority in a few days!!!!

i feel like im reading a best seller novel!! im hooked..continue please!

Unless something goes VERY wrong???!?! this line worries me!! i hope its not foreshadowing!!!!!!!!!!!

uh oh....I hope it works out.

I WISH this was a best selling novel! 3 Daughters are KILLING us with college costs!:D

Daughter #2s Story….. Part 3

The morning of pref parties, Unpredictable calls. She has something to tell me. If you have ever been the mother of a PNM you know it’s never GOOD news when your daughter calls and has something to “tell” you, rather than something to “ask“ you. Immediately, alarm bells started ringing in my head. Is she going to say that there’s been some mistake or computer snafu and she really wasn’t invited to her top 2 choices? Was she released from rush completely and someone just figured it out? Nope…. none of the above. She was just calling to do what Unpredictable had done her WHOLE life, exactly what I never expected. She had dropped out of rush by her own choice. I was stunned, speechless. I think I croaked out “Why”, but really can’t remember if I spoke at all. All I could see at that moment was a flash back of the girl in the Greek letter tee happily strolling through campus. Who wouldn’t want to be that girl I thought?

Well, my daughter Unpredictable for one. She went on to say that she had done some research (Oh Google, you really let me down this time) and found out that there were ways, in her words, to get WAY MORE involved with the project her number 1 choice supported if she did it on her own. In other words, why not just cut to the chase and spend all her time doing as MUCH as she could for this organization and not WASTE any time with pledging and such? I guess I could see her logic. I told her that while I was surprised by her decision, I was also proud of her for following her own heart and that even though she decided that Greek life wasn’t for her I hoped she was glad she went (most of the way) through rush. Unpredictable will begin her senior year next week at the “University of Red Brick Sidewalks and Towering Oaks”. She has become very involved with the project she was so taken with during rush 3 years ago. She hopes to go abroad next year to continue to give service to those in need farther from home. Just like her sister Opinionated, she has met lifelong sisters some of whom wear tees with Greek letters on them.

Back to my tale. It’s Spring Break 2005 and Daughter #3 and I are leaving to tour her list of colleges up and down the east coast........